Who Should I Talk to About My Unexpected Pregnancy?

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Finding out you’re pregnant—especially when you weren’t expecting it—can bring up a mix of emotions. You might feel overwhelmed, numb, uncertain, or unsure what to feel at all. Whatever you're feeling right now, know that you're not alone and you don’t have to figure everything out all at once.



One of the first questions many people ask themselves is: Who can I talk to about this?

You may not feel ready to share what you're going through. Or you may want to talk, but not know who feels safe. You might even be somewhere in between. All of these responses are completely valid. There’s no “right” way to react or feel. Give yourself permission to take your time to process and do what feels right for you.

Here are a few things to consider when choosing someone to talk to.

Someone Who Will Really Listen

When you’re processing something like an unexpected pregnancy, you need someone who will listen with care. A good listener doesn’t rush to give advice or speak over your experience. They give you space to feel, think, and take the conversation at your own pace.

They’re present with you, even in silence. They don’t need you to have all the answers, and they don’t expect your emotions to show up a certain way. Whether you're tearful, quiet, or still sorting out what you're feeling, they stay with you.

No one is a perfect listener, but try thinking back to conversations you've had with this person before. Do they usually listen without judgment? Do you feel heard and understood, even when you’re unsure of what to say? That’s a good sign they may be someone you can trust to talk to now.

Someone Who Knows You and Honors Your Values

In moments of uncertainty, it can help to reconnect with what matters most to you: your values, your goals, your sense of who you are. When everything feels unclear, your values can become an anchor—something steady to return to.

The right person won’t try to convince you of what they think is best. They won’t push you toward someone else’s idea of who you should be or do. Instead, they’ll make space for you to reflect on what feels true and meaningful for your life. 

Have you talked with this person before about your hopes for the future or the things you care most about? Have they encouraged you when you’ve made choices that reflect your integrity, even when it was hard? That kind of support can make a real difference.

If you're still figuring out what your values are in this moment—or how to let them guide you—this blog on letting your values lead the way offers thoughtful questions and gentle encouragement to help you listen inward and move forward with clarity.

Someone Who Can Be Trusted With Your Story

Your experience is deeply personal, and it’s important to choose someone who can hold it with care. Not everyone knows how to do that.

Before opening up, think about how this person handles private conversations. Do they respect other people’s boundaries? Do they speak kindly about people who aren’t present? If they often share information that was told in confidence, they may not be the safest person to talk to right now.

You deserve support from someone who will honor your privacy and your trust.

Why Talking It Through Can Help

When you speak something out loud, it can often bring clarity. You might find that you already have a sense of what you want, but saying it helps it come into focus. Or you might realize you need more time to think, and that’s okay too.

Talking through an unexpected pregnancy isn’t about finding a perfect solution, it’s about making room for your voice. A supportive conversation can help you explore your thoughts, name what matters to you, and consider your next steps.

Even one safe conversation can make a meaningful difference.

If You're Not Sure Who to Talk To

If you’re having trouble thinking of someone who feels safe—or if you’d just like more support—you can always talk with a personal advocate at Avail.

Personal advocates are trained in compassionate, judgment-free listening. They won’t tell you what to do or rush you through your decision. Instead, they’ll walk with you as you process your emotions, reflect on your options, and figure out what’s next.

You can meet in-person at our Midtown Manhattan office or online via Zoom, and every conversation is confidential and free.

You don’t have to have everything figured out to talk with someone. You just need a place to begin.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.