Who Should I Share My Story With?

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Sometimes, moments come that shape us in big ways. These experiences challenge and change us, and can cause us to doubt and isolate ourselves. For some, facing an unexpected pregnancy or navigating the emotional aftermath of an abortion experience can often be one of these pivotal moments. 



When you’re feeling a whirlwind of emotions, thoughts, and decisions, you might ask yourself, “Who should I trust with my story?” If you find it hard to answer, you’re not alone. Nearly everyone can think of a time when their trust has been betrayed. But, you deserve to share your story with confidence. 

Understanding Your Own Needs

Before deciding with whom to share your story, take a moment to reflect. What are you hoping to gain from the exchange? Understanding, empathy, advice, or just a shoulder to lean on? 

Recognizing your needs is the first step in identifying the right person to confide in. Sharing your story should primarily be a means for finding support and healing, rather than pleasing someone else.

Identifying Supportive People in Your Life

Think about the people who surround you. Who has consistently been supportive? Who listens without judgment? This could be a close friend, a family member, or even your partner. 

These individuals often create a safe space for vulnerability, offering the empathy and understanding needed during such a sensitive time. Think about those who have shared hard things with you in the past. They may be more likely to appreciate the trust you're placing in them by sharing your story.

Knowing Who to Trust With Your Story

As you think about who to share your story with, it’s important to make sure that you can trust them. 

Dr. Henry Cloud is a leading expert on trust, and recently published his insights in his book, Trust: Knowing When to Give It, When to Withhold It, How to Earn It, and How to Fix It When It Gets Broken. He writes out his five main pillars of trust, ultimately concluding that someone who is trustworthy has prioritized understanding, a good intent, the skills needed to accomplish the task, integrity, and a track record of being able to be trusted.

Empathy, consistency, confidentiality, non-judgmental support, and wisdom are key traits to look for. As you think about sharing your story, ask yourself if you’ve observed these qualities in their behavior. You may want to consider protecting your story from those who exhibit red flags, such as a tendency to gossip or judge. 

Trust is built over time, and it's crucial to choose someone who has demonstrated these qualities consistently.

Preparing to Share Your Story

After you choose a person to share your story with, it’s important to prepare. Approaching the conversation about your experience is a big step and how you do so can impact your emotional well-being. 

A simple statement that expresses your need to share something personal is often a good place to start. This will set the tone for a respectful and attentive dialogue. Be clear about what you need from the listener, whether it's advice, silence, or empathy. Consider something as simple as, “I’d like to share something really personal with you. Do you have time right now to just listen?”

As you prepare, know that listeners might experience and show a range of reactions. It's okay to stop the conversation if it becomes too much or if the response is not what you expected.

Taking Care of Yourself Throughout the Process

Throughout your sharing process, caring for yourself should be your first priority. Seek out activities and practices that nourish your soul and mind. Many practice self care by engaging in creative outlets, spending time in nature, or practicing mindfulness and meditation. 

Remember, seeking help and support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Allow yourself the space to feel, heal, and grow at your own pace. It's a journey that does not have a fixed timeline.

The Power of Sharing Your Story

Opening up about personal experiences can be incredibly powerful. It not only helps in your own healing process but can also encourage others to share their stories, reducing stigma and fostering a supportive community. 

By sharing, you add another chapter to a larger story that can inspire change, both within yourself and in the world around you. Your story has the unique power to touch lives in ways you might not have expected, providing comfort to others who feel isolated in their experiences.

Considering Professional and Community Support

Sometimes, the support we need goes beyond our immediate circle. Professional counselors or therapists, especially those specialized in reproductive health, can offer invaluable guidance and a non-biased ear. 

Additionally, support groups—both in-person and online—connect you with other women and men facing similar situations, offering a sense of community and understanding. 

These spaces are designed to be safe havens for sharing your experiences. You’ll be understood and free to share without having to explain yourself.

You’re Not Alone

Choosing who to share your story with is a deeply personal decision, influenced by your emotional needs, the trustworthiness of those around you, and the type of support you need. If you’re facing an unexpected pregnancy or want support after an abortion, talk with an Avail NYC Personal Advocate. 

Each advocate is trained to help you talk through who to trust and how to share your story, if you feel like you’re ready for that step. Equipped to help you take a look at your friends, family members, and partner, or connect you to a professional, your advocate can help you find the right person who will respect your story and offer the understanding and empathy you deserve. 

Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Avail NYC is a safe space waiting to support you, every step of the way. Sharing your story is a choice that only you can make, and one that is a big step toward embracing yourself. By carefully thinking through who to trust with your experiences, you ensure that this step is both empowering and healing, opening the door to a community of support and understanding.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

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