8 Tips to Process an Accidental Pregnancy

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Pregnancies are not always planned. If you are not expecting a positive result on that pregnancy test, but you get one, your first reaction might be one of shock. For some, it might be panic. But, despite all that fear and uncertainty, there are things you can do to process this new information and learn more about your choices.

Are Accidental Pregnancies Common?

Accidental pregnancy is common and probably happens more than you think. In fact, almost half of pregnancies do come as a surprise. It could happen because birth control failed or maybe wasn't used consistently. Not all birth control is 100 percent, either. Even if you do everything right, you might still get pregnant.

How to Process an Accidental Pregnancy

An unplanned pregnancy is a shock. It comes with a bunch of unknowns, like can I stay in school? Will I be able to work? So take a few days to allow yourself time to get over the initial shock and process the information.

Give yourself those days to feel the wide range of emotions that are coming your way, too. You might be scared, joyful, angry at yourself, or angry at your partner. These are perfectly normal responses to finding out you are pregnant. Once that intensity subsides, you’ll have a clearer head. Don’t wait a long time, but a few days will give you a chance to take a breath before moving forward.

Deal With Your Self-Doubt

Every stage of processing this information will be infiltrated with this sense of self-doubt. Visualize some time in your life when you have overcome the odds or made yourself proud. This will help you remind yourself that you can handle challenges when they come your way.

Use Visualization to Help You Make Choices

Also, as you work through the different options, try to visualize yourself there. For example, if you decide to keep your baby, what will that life look like for you both? Can you see yourself nursing your baby? How about playing in the park

with an older version or navigating the grocery store with a newborn.

Consider Your Readiness

There will come a time when you will have to consider how ready you are to be a parent. Don’t just think in financial terms, either. Where are you at in your life? Can you make the changes necessary to support a child? What resources are available to you to make that happen?

Consider your emotional readiness, too. How is your mental health? Were you suffering from depression before you found out you were pregnant? Do you easily get overwhelmed?

Don’t Panic. Make a Plan.

Panic may be the first feeling you experience, but making a plan will probably help you calm down.

Start With a Confirmation

Before you do any more worrying, you must get confirmation of your pregnancy. Although home pregnancy tests have a solid accuracy rate, there are many variables. Also, some tests are more sensitive than others. That’s why it is critical that you get a lab-quality pregnancy test to confirm the results.

If the lab test also shows that you are pregnant, the next step is to get an ultrasound. An ultrasound provides valuable information about your pregnancy. For example, it will tell you how far along your pregnancy is and where it is located.

A pregnancy outside the uterus, called an ectopic pregnancy, is nonviable and life-threatening for the mother.

The information provided via ultrasound will help you decide what your next steps are and how to take them.

Think About Your Options

One thing that is scary about an accidental pregnancy is the unknown, but there are options. You just might not know what they are at the moment. After confirming your pregnancy, the next step is to think about what you want to do next.

Your choices are not limited to whether you want to keep the baby or not. The more information you have, the more informed your decision will be. For example, what social services are available to you right now? What happens if you have the baby and give it up for adoption?

The unknown is always scary, so shine some light on what comes next. That may mean talking to a caring advocate who can help you process the information you have clearly or just listen to your concerns. Everybody’s situation is unique, so talking to someone will help you better understand your choices.

Develop a Support System

One of the scariest things for a woman is the idea of going through a pregnancy alone. Instead of isolating yourself and your feelings, talk to someone you can trust. Many women have gone through what you are experiencing and will know how you are feeling. Talking to someone that can understand your fears will help you make choices that will affect the rest of your life.

Choose the person in your life that you confide in wisely, though. Pick someone you know will not judge you and that you trust implicitly to keep your secret until you want more people to know.

If you are not ready to talk to family or don’t have a close friend you want to confide in, there are support groups full of women who will understand. There are even online groups that you can use just to share your feelings and get some support.

Now Take Some Time to Make Your Decision

Now that you have dealt with the emotions, have tools in place to master self-doubt, and have discussed your options for this pregnancy, take a minute to make your choice. This is a decision that will be with you one way or another for the rest of your life. It’s not something you should rush into or make alone.

Whatever you decide, Avail NYC can help. We can offer you a lab-quality pregnancy test, for instance. Our medical referral program enables you to get a free to low cost ultrasound, too.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.