Unexpected Pregnancy Advice for Men: What to Do Next

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Finding out about an unexpected pregnancy can be overwhelming. You may feel shocked, anxious, uncertain, or even hopeful—but no matter what emotions you’re experiencing, know that you don’t have to figure this out alone.

At Avail NYC, we understand that men have a role in this experience, and their feelings and concerns matter too. There are real, practical ways to step into this moment with clarity and confidence. 

Whether you’re looking for guidance on how to support a partner, process emotions, or take next steps, the right tools and support can make a difference. If you’re feeling unsure about what to do next, read on to explore practical ways for you and your partner to navigate this moment.

1. First Steps: Processing the News

Take a Breath

Hearing the news of an unexpected pregnancy can feel overwhelming. The mind may start racing with "what-ifs" or worst-case scenarios, but pausing to process before reacting can help bring clarity. 

Taking a deep breath and giving yourself space to think before responding can help you respond thoughtfully rather than react out of fear or uncertainty. 

For additional tips on staying grounded, check out more unintended pregnancy tips for men.

Find a Trusted Space to Talk

Sorting through emotions and concerns is easier with the right support. Talking to a trusted friend, mentor, or advocate at Avail can provide perspective. Having an objective space to process thoughts and explore next steps without pressure or judgment can be invaluable.

Avail provides free, confidential conversations with male advocates who understand what it’s like to face this situation. Your advocate will walk with you through this experience, answer questions, and provide support in a confidential and compassionate environment.

There’s no need to figure everything out on your own. Schedule a time to talk with an advocate to regain control and find clarity for your next steps.

Track Your Thoughts

Taking time to track your thoughts helps clear your mind and reduce confusion. People often feel disoriented after learning unexpected news. Grab a pen and paper or your phone and map out what you are thinking about. 

If you’re not sure where to start or what to say, consider the following questions: 

• What are the biggest concerns right now?
• What practical steps would help bring peace of mind?
• What kind of support is needed—both for self and for the partner?

Putting thoughts on paper can create clarity and reduce stress, making the next steps feel more manageable.

2. How to Have a Conversation with Your Partner

Healthy communication is one of the most powerful tools in this moment. Taking time to listen well and responding with care can help both you and your partner feel heard and supported.

Start with Listening

Before jumping into problem-solving, take time to listen to your partner’s thoughts and emotions. Many women in this situation feel a wide range of emotions, and knowing they are supported can be reassuring.

A few ways to create a safe space for conversation:

• Use open-ended questions like, “How are you feeling about everything?”
• Show engagement by saying, “I want to understand what’s on your mind.”
• Reflect her words back to her: “It sounds like you’re feeling [emotion]. I hear you.”
  

Avoid Reactive Responses

Sometimes our initial response is not always our best response. While it's normal to feel a rush of negative emotions during a tense situation, staying calm and choosing our responses carefully can often lead to better outcomes in our relationships. If frustration or fear rises, taking a moment to regain a sense of calm before responding can help prevent misunderstandings or unnecessary conflict.

If you’re struggling to communicate clearly, an advocate can help you prepare for these conversations and offer guidance on how to express yourself in a way that strengthens your relationship. Men can also meet with someone on their own or together with their partner.

Taking time to process your thoughts before making decisions can bring clarity. Connect with a male advocate at Avail to explore your next steps in a safe space.

3. Understanding Your Role & Next Steps

No matter where you are in life, an unexpected pregnancy can bring up a lot of big questions. Where do you go from here? How do you support your partner? What comes next?

Get the Right Information

Having accurate information can bring peace of mind and help you make thoughtful, informed next steps. It’s important to find trusted resources that can help you and your partner explore your options without pressure.

Avail NYC offers free, confidential support for both men and women facing an unexpected pregnancy. Meeting with a male advocate can help you think through practical questions and develop a plan that aligns with your values and goals.

Make a Plan Together

Big decisions can feel less overwhelming when they’re broken into smaller, more manageable steps. If communication is open, discussing topics like the following can help both partners feel more secure: 

• Finances and budgeting
• Emotional support systems
• Personal goals and responsibilities

Having a clear plan can help both of you feel more equipped to move forward with confidence.

4. Practical Ways to Support Your Partner

Being supportive does not mean having all the answers—it means showing up and taking action where you can. Here are a few practical ways to support your partner through this time:

• Offer to Accompany Her to Appointments (If She’s Comfortable): Even if she prefers to go alone, offering to be present shows commitment and care.
• Help with Everyday Responsibilities: Pregnancy can be physically and emotionally exhausting. Helping with everyday tasks like groceries, errands, or household chores can relieve some of the stress.
• Keep the Conversation Open: This usually isn’t a one-time conversation. Checking in regularly and offering ongoing support shows reliability and commitment.

Every situation is different, and an advocate can help you find the best ways to offer meaningful support. Schedule a free conversation with an advocate at Avail to help you prepare and process.

5. Taking Care of Your Well-Being

Many men feel pressure to stay strong, but suppressing emotions can lead to stress and anxiety. It is possible to stay strong without being weighed down by what you are feeling. Allowing yourself to feel is not a sign of weakness. It is the best way to remain strong when others need you.

Acknowledge Your Own Feelings

Whatever you’re feeling—uncertainty, fear, or even hope—it’s okay. Those are real and valid emotions. Recognizing your emotions is the first step toward managing them in a healthy way.

Find Support

You don’t have to carry this alone. Talking to someone who understands—whether a friend, mentor, or advocate—can help you process your emotions and find the clarity you need.

Avail NYC provides confidential support for men, so you have a safe space to talk and think through your next steps.

6. Remember that You’re Not Alone

No matter what this journey looks like for you, you are not alone. There is support, guidance, and a way forward. If you want a space to talk, process your emotions, or figure out your next steps, Avail NYC is here for you. You can meet with a male advocate for free and confidential support—whether in person or online.

Click below to schedule a conversation with an advocate today.



Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

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