How to Prepare for a Doctor’s Visit During an Unplanned Pregnancy

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

An unexpected pregnancy can bring a lot of emotions, especially when you are trying to keep up with everything else happening in life. For some, the thought of a doctor’s appointment might feel overwhelming. You may be wondering what to expect, what to ask, or how to make sure your voice is heard.

If any of that feels familiar, you are not alone. You do not have to have it all figured out before you walk through the door. There are simple ways to help you feel more grounded, prepared, and supported before, during, and after your appointment.

Here are a few gentle steps to help you approach this time with care for yourself.

Write Down What You Want to Ask

When life already feels full, it can be difficult to organize your thoughts in the moment. Writing down your questions ahead of time can help you feel more prepared and confident when you walk into your appointment.

If you are not sure where to begin, try asking yourself:

• What do I want to understand about my pregnancy before making a decision?
• What worries are on my mind?
• What would help me feel more informed or at ease?

There are no wrong questions. Whether you are asking about your health, your options, or what to expect physically in the coming weeks, your questions deserve to be heard.

If it feels difficult to sort through your thoughts, you can talk with a personal advocate at Avail. Our team of personal advocates are here to help you explore your questions in a safe, supportive space, free of judgment or pressure.

Know That You Can Guide the Conversation

A doctor’s visit might feel like something you just have to get through, but your voice matters. You are allowed to ask questions, express your concerns, and ask for information in a way that makes sense to you.



If you are wondering where to begin, here are a few questions you might ask:

• What options do I have moving forward?
• Are there timelines or state laws I should be aware of for any of my options?
• What physical changes should I expect in the coming weeks?
• Where can I find additional information about my options?

You can also ask the doctor to slow down, repeat information, or explain things differently if something is unclear. If speaking up feels difficult, practicing beforehand with someone you trust can help. An Avail advocate can walk through these conversations with you, helping you find the language that feels right for you. 

Consider Bringing Someone You Trust

Bringing a friend, partner, or family member to your appointment can offer comfort and reassurance. Having someone with you might make it easier to remember what was said, ask a question you hadn’t thought of, or simply feel more at ease in the room.

If you would rather go on your own, that is completely okay. This is your appointment, and you get to decide what feels best for you.



Afterward, if you want space to process what was shared or how you are feeling, you do not have to do that alone. Whether you meet with an advocate in person at our Midtown Manhattan office or virtually over Zoom, support is available to help you reflect and consider your next steps when you are ready.

You Don’t Have to Decide Everything Right Away

Sometimes an appointment can feel fast, and it might seem like you are expected to make decisions on the spot. But unless there is an urgent medical reason, you are allowed to take time before making any decisions about your next steps.

To advocate for the time and space you need, you can say things like:

• “I need to think about this before making a decision.”
• “I am not ready to decide today.”
• “Can you provide resources so I can learn more on my own?”



Taking time does not mean you are avoiding the situation. It means you are giving yourself room to reflect and choose a path that feels aligned with your values, priorities, and goals.

Give Yourself Time to Process Afterward

After your appointment, you might notice a mix of complex emotions. Maybe you feel relieved, or maybe you feel confused, frustrated, or unsure. You might even find yourself thinking of new questions once you have some time and space. All of that is okay.

If you can, give yourself a little room to reflect. That might mean writing down your thoughts, taking a quiet walk, or reaching out to someone you trust. You might ask yourself:

• What feels clear after the appointment?
• What is still confusing or unsettled?
• What kind of support would help me feel more confident?

You do not have to process all of this on your own. An advocate at Avail can help you reflect on what came up during your appointment and explore what next steps feel right to you.

You Are Not Alone in This

An unintended pregnancy can feel heavy, especially when you are trying to keep up with everything else in life. If you are feeling the weight of it all, know that you are not alone.

You are the one who gets to decide what comes next. Even when things feel complicated or unclear, your voice still matters and you are still in control. Taking time to reflect, ask questions, or say your thoughts out loud can help bring a sense of clarity and direction.

At Avail, we offer a space where you can slow down and think things through. Whether you are preparing for an appointment, processing what was shared, or simply trying to figure out your next step, an advocate can walk with you. We are here to listen and help you explore what feels right for you, in a way that honors your values and priorities.

You can meet with a personal advocate in person at our Midtown Manhattan office or connect virtually from wherever you are. However you choose to meet, support is free, confidential, and always judgment-free. When you are ready, we are here to listen and support you.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

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