She’s Pregnant. It’s Mine. What Should I Do?

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Discovering that your partner is pregnant can be an overwhelming experience for any man. The news may trigger a range of emotions, ranging from joy and excitement to fear and uncertainty. Suddenly, you find yourself at a crossroads, torn between two different futures: one without parenthood and one with the responsibilities of raising a child. It's important to process these feelings and make informed decisions so that you can move forward with confidence. Here's a guide to help you navigate this emotional journey and find support along the way.

Understanding Your Emotions

When faced with an unplanned pregnancy, it's crucial to recognize and accept the range of emotions you may experience. It's common to feel scared, anxious, or even resistant to the idea of becoming a parent. Give yourself permission to feel it all and take the time you need to process these emotions. 

When you feel ready to have a conversation with your partner, discuss your thoughts and feelings openly with them, and listen to theirs too. Honest and compassionate communication will strengthen your relationship and help you make decisions that align with both of your desires and needs.

Exploring the Options

Once you have processed the pregnancy, it’s important to explore all available options. Take time to carefully consider the potential outcomes that come with both not being a parent and embracing fatherhood. Envision the scenarios vividly, weighing the pros and cons of each. As you imagine each situation, remember to make it personal; take into account your values, goals, relationships, and the kind of future you want for yourself. Determining whether or not you’re ready to be a parent may feel overwhelming, but you have the time to make a confident decision. 

On one hand, choosing not to be a father may offer certain freedoms and opportunities for personal growth. It allows you to maintain your current lifestyle, focus on your career, pursue personal interests, and have more time and resources for yourself. However, it's important to recognize the possible impacts of this decision. Think of how it might affect your relationship with your partner, your family dynamics, and the emotional impact abortion has on men and women.

On the other hand, embracing fatherhood brings a unique set of responsibilities, challenges, and rewards. It involves actively participating in the upbringing of a child, nurturing their growth, and building a meaningful connection. It can bring immense joy, love, and a sense of purpose. But it also requires dedication, sacrifice, and a commitment to providing for the child. You will need to take time to decide whether you are ready for the lifestyle changes, financial obligations, and emotional investment that fatherhood demands.

It may be helpful to have open and honest discussions with your partner, considering their thoughts and desires as well. This allows you and your partner to establish trust, make space for vulnerability, and open the door for empathy and understanding. Talking with your partner may also help the relationship flourish, allowing you both to understand how the other may be feeling. Remember, you both have a voice. A good decision is one you both feel comfortable with and prepared for. 

You Don’t Have to Face it Alone

If you're a man facing the news of an unplanned pregnancy, you don’t have to face it alone. Schedule an in-person or online appointment with a male advocate at Avail NYC who specializes in helping men walk through situations just like yours.

They can offer unbiased guidance, help you explore your emotions, and walk you through decision-making tools based on your unique situation. Although they are not medical professionals or people who give medical advice, they can provide information about legal rights, responsibilities, and resources available to you as a prospective parent.

Your personal advocate can also connect you with a support group specifically designed for men in similar situations. Connecting with others who have faced or are facing an unexpected pregnancy can be comforting and helpful. These groups provide a safe space to share experiences, seek guidance, and gain valuable insights from those in the same shoes.

Remember, you have the power to shape your future and can find a way forward that feels right for you. 

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

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