Do Relationships Change During an Unexpected Pregnancy?
Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.
Once those two lines unexpectedly appear on a pregnancy test, it can feel like you’re suddenly reevaluating almost everything in your relationship. You’re not alone. Unexpected pregnancies are never easy, but they are common in the United States. In fact,
an estimated 46%, or 2.6 million, pregnancies each year are unintended. You and your partner will face new challenges after finding out you’re unexpectedly pregnant, but by identifying those changes, setting a plan, learning how to communicate, and finding support, you and your partner can get through this.
Men and Women Sometimes React Differently
Guys tend to immediately jump to solving problems. That sometimes comes in handy, but when you and your partner are facing an unexpected pregnancy, it’s best to slow down, take a breath, and listen.
Meanwhile, women tend to need extra support as they process their many feelings surrounding the pregnancy. This change is likely impacting her from all angles;
physically, emotionally, and even mentally.
Pause, Evaluate, and Think
An unexpected pregnancy is a deeply personal experience and understanding your wants, needs, and feelings about it can be harder than you thought. First, take some time to really explore your key concerns like:
Try to let your thoughts flow without judgment. Your thoughts, feelings, and concerns don’t reflect on you as a person, or in any way reflect how you may be in the future relationship or as a parent. Take time to fully process what you’re thinking and feeling before making any decisions.
If you’d like additional support in the decision-making process or simply want to talk to someone who is unbiased during this difficult time,
Avail NYC can provide support and guidance. Our
highly trained client advocates can discuss all of your options with you in a judgment-free environment, helping you weigh the pros and cons, and connect you to other resources like child care, low-cost OB/GYN referrals, and much more, if necessary.
Let the Communication Flow
Communicating with your partner is essential as you walk through the next steps of processing what this means for you, your future, and your relationship. Here are some tips on communicating well with your partner in the midst of this difficult time:
- Listen: Being willing to really hear and seek to understand one another is vital (even if you don’t understand at first). Practice putting away distractions (like your phone) and ask your partner questions about their thoughts and feelings about the pregnancy.
- Empathy: As you listen to understand what your partner is feeling, respond with empathy. Remind them that they are not alone in the journey and that you both are going to work through this together. Share responsibility and be vulnerable about your feelings. You and your partner may feel differently about certain things and that's okay. Empathy shows that you are trying to understand where the other person is coming from. Be cautious not to try to “fix” what your partner is feeling, rather experience those feelings with them.
- Patience: Be patient with each other as you process your emotions. Sometimes it’s difficult to describe how you are thinking or feeling. Understand that these things can come over time, and your thoughts and feelings may fluctuate. Be patient as you give each other time, recognizing that this is a major unexpected event.
- Be Present: Remember that communication is non-verbal, too. Often, being consistently physically present with someone is most meaningful in hard times. Being present with your partner and reminding them you are there for them through your actions provides invaluable support.
Finding Support to Flourish
Every healthy relationship is built on the foundation of trust. Trust comes from honesty and vulnerability, and from demonstrating your commitment through your actions. An unexpected pregnancy will put that trust to the test.
Your partner wants to know that you’re
for
them. That you have their back and you will be there, no matter what. By taking the time to listen, understand your own emotions, and communicate honestly, you can give your partner the support they need.
If your partner or family isn’t providing you with the support you need, you may want to talk to an unbiased advocate.
Avail NYC provides women and men facing unexpected pregnancies with free one-on-one appointments with compassionate advocates who can help you talk through whatever may be on your mind in a judgment-free environment.
If you’re pregnant (or think you’re pregnant) and aren’t sure where to turn, contact us today. We have virtual and in-person appointments available.
Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Avail NYC provides free, compassionate support for women and men navigating unexpected pregnancies or seeking support after an abortion. Our trained Personal Advocates offer a safe, confidential space online or in-person to process emotions and explore options. Equipping clients with personalized coping strategies and resources, we empower them to move forward with confidence at their own pace. Avail NYC is not a medical provider. To learn more or meet with a personal advocate, visit Avail NYC.
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