Arianna's Story: From Silent Shame to Finding Support
Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.
*Names changed for confidentiality.
Arianna was working hard and pursuing her master’s degree when she found out she was pregnant. In that moment, she remembers feeling both pride and shame.
“My family would have been so disappointed to know I was pregnant,” Arianna explains. “I'm the one my aunts will call to have me talk with my younger cousins when they are off track.”
She worried that if her family knew, they would stop looking up to her. She was used to being the one others turned to—now, she wasn’t sure who she could turn to herself.
A Long Wait and a Heavy Room
At eleven weeks, Arianna decided to have an abortion. She found a Planned Parenthood nearby and arrived at 8 a.m., only to find the waiting room packed.
“It made me feel like, ‘This is normal, I'm dramatizing my feelings.’”
But as the day went on, the experience felt anything but normal.
“Finally, I was placed into another room in a hospital gown with other women. I could feel the despair in the room. I started talking with the woman next to me who was fourteen weeks pregnant and crying. It was upsetting."
“After the abortion, I just remember holding my stomach and feeling empty."
After leaving, Arianna went to a nearby park and walked in circles for hours, crying.
“I stood in front of the swing set and thought about what life would have looked like with a child. I felt like I'd rewritten my own future, but I didn't want to burden any family or friends by telling them about my abortion.”
The Silence Afterward
For a month, Arianna didn’t tell anyone about her abortion except her boyfriend. But the weight of silence became too heavy.
“I was so scared to tell my family due to fear, but now I was just filled with shame."
She also realized she had nowhere to process what she was feeling. Her relationship felt strained. She resented her boyfriend for not voicing an opinion, and she felt emotionally stuck.
Finding a Place to Process
That’s when Arianna found Avail and met with an advocate. Through that relationship, she began to open up and process her experience.
With support, she started to reflect on her emotions and look toward the future with new strength and perspective.
You Don't Have to Carry This Alone
At Avail, we understand that emotions after an abortion experience can be complicated. You may feel grief, relief, uncertainty, or a mix of many things—and no matter what you’re feeling, you don’t have to face it alone.
We offer free, confidential support in a judgment-free environment. You can talk with a personal advocate one-on-one or join a small group of women or men navigating similar journeys through our weekly Meet-Ups.
Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.
*Names changed for confidentiality
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ABOUT AVAIL
Avail NYC provides free, compassionate support for women and men navigating unexpected pregnancies or seeking support after an abortion. Our trained Personal Advocates offer a safe, confidential space online or in-person to process emotions and explore options. Equipping clients with personalized coping strategies and resources, we empower them to move forward with confidence at their own pace. Avail NYC is not a medical provider. To learn more or meet with a personal advocate, visit Avail NYC.
