Reclaiming Self-Worth in a World of Expectations

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

In today’s fast-paced and achievement-driven world, it can seem like personal and professional success is just out of reach. We are constantly reminded of the many expectations society has for us. Whether explicitly said, implied, or simply presented on social media or TV screens, there they are.

Impossible Expectations

Society expects us to be a career-driven, ladder-climbing go-getter with a high paying job and large, powerful network. But society also demands that we have a vibrant social life, a loving relationship and children, and time to grow ourselves. We must always be nice and pleasant, but not pushovers. We have to stand firm on our boundaries but also not come off as dismissive and closed off. We can’t mess up–whatever that may mean. 

The mental, emotional, and even physical toll of these conflicting and unattainable expectations can leave us feeling like we’re falling short in one area or another, failing, exhausted, and inadequate.

The Conditional Worth Trap

Without even realizing it, these pressures offer a warped mirror that distorts our sense of self-worth, inherent value, and core identity. This makes it easy to fall into a habit of criticizing ourselves and pushing ourselves to do, be, or accomplish more. Our worthiness has now become conditional and this is deeply problematic. 



We have forgotten that we did not create ourselves, and that we are limited creatures. Take a moment to think about the creation that you are. The way you breathe without thinking about it, the way your eyes are uniquely colored and patterned, the way that you can relate to others and build friendship. The creation that we are is rather breathtaking.

Remembering Truth

In a world so consumed with shifting expectations and ideas, remembering that there is an unwavering standard of truth is essential. This truth is not based on societal pressures or personal opinions. Our perspectives of ourselves do not define us.



We have forgotten that we did not create ourselves, and that we are limited creatures. Take a moment to think about the creation that you are. The way you breathe without thinking about it, the way your eyes are uniquely colored and patterned, the way that you can relate to others and build friendship. The creation that we are is rather breathtaking. 

We are always changing and growing. The person we were five seconds ago no longer exists. As scary as that may sound, it is actually a beautiful thing. Releasing ourselves from our pasts gives us the opportunity to focus on growth and reminds us that our value is unchanging and comes from within.

Rooting Self-Worth in Reality

It’s important to pause and reflect. Ask yourself, what is beneath your desire to be great in this world? Processing and answering this question can help you define your worth and value regardless of your situations. When you don’t meet a deadline, let someone down, or don’t land the job, remember that you still have value. When you cross your own boundary you have been working so hard to keep–you still have worth. 

Our purpose in this life is profoundly foundational, but the task we are given can change daily. If our purpose and our worth were conditional, we would not be able to adjust to life’s challenging seasons or the duties of the day. Maybe today you are simply being asked to be a good friend. Maybe you're simply being asked to be a loving mother, father, daughter, or son. 

Unchanging Value

But if you find yourself losing your temper, not demonstrating the most loving behavior–you still have worth. Really. The way we show love and dignity is unique to us, but never forget that you are far more magnificent than mere emotions. 

Your inherent value and root of your worth is a firm, foundational truth. You are not able to change that, regardless of your situation. Your value has simply just been there since the beginning.

You Don’t Have to Do it Alone

The constant demands and pressures around us can warp our view of our worth, value, and identity. If you are navigating an unexpected pregnancy or a past abortion experience, know that you do not have to journey alone. 

Avail NYC’s team of highly trained and compassionate Personal Advocates are here to listen and support you through every step, free of charge. When challenges arise, your advocate can encourage you and help you remember your inherent value and worth. Your advocate can also equip you with tools and resources that fit your experience, empowering you to envision a hopeful future and reclaim your story.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

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