Am I Too Old to be a First Time Parent?

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) indicates that the number of women having a baby in their 40s is double what it once was in this country. How late is too late, though?

Advances in healthcare and healthier lifestyles have made having a pregnancy at a later stage in life safer. Of course, having a baby after the age of 35 can come with some risks, but advanced maternal age has specific considerations and requires some precautions. So, what should you know if you ask, “Am I too old to become a parent?”

Am I Too Old to Become a Parent?

This is undoubtedly a question most parents ask at a certain age, whether they are considering pregnancy or find themselves with an unexpected one. Why is age even a consideration when it comes to pregnancy?

One reason is eggs. A woman is born with all the eggs she will have during her lifetime. They don’t replenish. What that means is as you age, so do your eggs. Older eggs may have a higher risk of abnormalities or complications.

Sperm doesn’t “age” the same way eggs do, but men have lower hormone levels as they grow older. Specifically, they experience reduced testosterone which can impact sperm quality, according to a 2019 Rutgers University study.

Neither means a couple can not have a successful pregnancy as they grow older. It just means there are some risks to keep in mind.

Risks for Older Women

There are, of course, some risks for women who want to get pregnant or are expecting after age 35. They include:

Infertility – Your chances of having a baby decrease as you get older, and the number of eggs you carry drops.

Increased risk of miscarriage – Women over the age of 32 also experiences age-related chronic conditions that could put them at risks, such as high blood pressure and diabetes.

Risk of chromosomal anomalies – The quality of the eggs declines with the years, too. That is one reason older women are at higher risk of having a child with Down syndrome or another chromosomal issue.

Twins – Hormonal changes in women over age 35 can mean releasing more than one age per menstrual cycle. That means more than one egg can get fertilized per ovulation cycle.

Pregnancy complications – Women over age 35 may encounter pregnancy complications that put their lives or babies at risks, such as gestational diabetes or preeclampsia. They may also experience premature labor and give birth to babies with lower birth weights.

Cesarean section – The older the mother is, the greater the chance she will need a Cesarean section delivery.

Some of these risks are more manageable than others, but it is critical that potential parents keep up with their doctor’s visits to detect the signs of trouble as early as possible. If needed, Avail NYC can provide referrals to trusted third-party medical providers for low to no-cost services.

Get Emotional Support

It is natural to face a wide variety of emotions when pregnant over 35 . Shock is a common reaction, for example. However, now is not the time to bury concerns and feelings about the pregnancy but to face them head-on. 

Start with the shock. It is important to understand that even if you knew this was a possibility, confirmation can make it feel surreal. Once you acknowledge and accept the shock, you can start working through your doubts more honestly. 

What concerns you about the idea of being a parent at an older age? Some common concerns include:

• Work-life balance
• Being able to continue your career
• Financial challenges, such as childcare
• Lifestyle changes 

Now, consider what else might be giving you doubt? Are you concerned about how your family will react, for instance? Mapping out these doubts helps you address them.

Next, find someone you can talk to, it should be someone that you trust such as your partner, your doctor, a family member, or a close friend. It’s important to find someone you can talk with that won’t judge you or your feelings. If you still find yourself needing unbiased, non-judgmental support, our client advocates can help you walk through decision making tools based on your unique situation. 

What to Ask Your Doctor

When it comes to getting pregnant, age is a consideration and the key is finding the support you need to make a choice that best suits your life and health. That means, first and foremost, talking with a medical professional and asking the right questions.

For example, “Am I otherwise healthy enough to have a baby?” – Age is not the only factor that can affect pregnancy. History of diabetes, for instance, can have an impact. So can conditions such as endometriosis, high blood pressure, and cancer. 

Also, “Do I need extra testing to determine my risk of complications?” – This might mean genetic testing before pregnancy or testing to measure the development of the fetus and the health of the mother.

Maybe “What can I do to reduce my risk of pregnancy complications because I am older?” – You also want to know what steps you should take to lower the risk of complications, such as managing other medical conditions and taking folic acid. Your healthcare provider may also have specific instructions for you about diet and exercise.

A healthcare provider can work with you to manage your health while you wait for your baby.

While there may be doubts, it is possible to experience a healthy pregnancy even if you are a bit older. 

Think You Could Be Pregnant?

As a woman gets older, hormone changes can cause symptoms that might be confusing. At Avail NYC, we offer free medical grade pregnancy tests that can give you clarity. You can also talk with one of our trained client advocates who can walk you through decision making tools to help you process what pregnancy at a later stage in life would look like and provide you with resources to make your decision. 

If you still have questions about the possibility of a pregnancy, schedule an appointment today. 

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.