She Told You She’s Pregnant. Now What?

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Life can surprise you when you least expect it. Maybe you’re winding down after a long day, or you’re running errands when she reaches out and says, “I’m pregnant.”

It’s natural to feel a rush of emotions like surprise or uncertainty, especially if you’re unsure of how to respond. Many men find themselves navigating unfamiliar territory in moments like this, and that’s okay.

Taking the First Steps

An unexpected pregnancy can bring up big questions and complex feelings for both of you. While you process your own emotions, you might also be wondering how to support her. It’s not always easy to balance these needs, but you don’t have to navigate them alone.

At Avail NYC, our trained advocates provide a safe and confidential space where you can share your thoughts, explore options, and find ways to move forward. Whether you’re looking for guidance, emotional support, or simply a listening ear, you can talk to a male advocate who will walk alongside you during this time.

Here are four practical steps to move forward with clarity and care.

4 Ways to Support Her and Yourself Throughout an Unexpected Pregnancy

Here are four practical steps to move forward with clarity and care.

1. Listen First, Without Judgment

One of the most meaningful ways to support her is to actively listen. She may feel overwhelmed, and having a safe space to share her thoughts can make all the difference.



When you listen, focus on what she’s saying without thinking about how to respond immediately. Nod, make eye contact, and ask clarifying questions like, “How are you feeling about this?” or “What’s been on your mind the most?”

Although your voice matters too, avoid the urge to give advice right away. Sometimes, just being present and offering your full attention is enough to help her feel supported and understood. Your role is not to fix everything but to be someone she can rely on.

2. Process Your Own Emotions

It’s okay to feel a wide range and intense mix of emotions about the situation. Whether you’re worried, confused, or even hopeful, giving yourself space to process your thoughts and feelings can bring clarity.

Try setting aside time to reflect. Writing in a journal or even keeping a note on your phone can help you organize your thoughts and identify what’s most important to you. Ask yourself:

• What are my initial reactions, and why do I feel this way?
• What concerns me most about this situation?
• What are my hopes for how we move forward together?

Talking with someone outside the situation can also help. A trusted friend, family member, or Avail advocate can provide perspective and guidance as you process what this news means for you and your future.

Remember, understanding your feelings will allow you to approach her with empathy and confidence, which strengthens your ability to navigate this journey together.

3. Offer Practical Support

Support can take many forms, and finding what works best for both of you is key. While emotional reassurance is important, tangible actions can also help ease stress and strengthen your partnership during this time.

If you’re looking for ways to offer practical support, here are some ideas to consider:

• Helping with daily tasks: You might offer to run errands, cook meals, or handle chores to create space for her to focus on her well-being.
• Attending appointments together: Joining her for doctor’s visits or support meetings, such as at Avail NYC, can be a way to show solidarity. It’s important to communicate openly and ensure you’re both comfortable with this.
• Checking in regularly: Simply asking how she’s feeling or what she needs can open the door for meaningful conversations. Even a small gesture, like a message saying, “I’m here if you need me,” can make a difference.

These actions are not about taking on everything but about showing that you’re present and willing to share this journey together. By working as a team and finding ways to support one another, you can create a sense of partnership that helps you both navigate the path ahead.

4. Provide Reassurance

When emotions run high, it’s important to remain a source of calm. Let her know she can share her fears, worries, or even moments of excitement with you without judgment, even if you disagree with each other.

Instead of jumping to problem-solving, remind her that you’re in this together. Saying things like, “I’m here for you no matter what,” or “We’ll work through this as a team,” can help her feel supported on the journey.

In addition, create a space where she feels emotionally safe. This might mean listening without reacting or validating her feelings, even if they’re different from your own. By focusing on her emotional well-being, you help her feel more confident in navigating what’s ahead.

Support for Both of You

Facing an unexpected pregnancy can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. This is a new journey. Take things one step at a time, allowing space for questions, reflection, and meaningful conversations.

Avail provides a safe, judgment-free environment where you can openly share your thoughts and feelings. Our male advocates tailor sessions to your unique situation, offering personalized guidance to help you sort through your emotions, communicate effectively with your partner, and make decisions that reflect your values.

Whether you need emotional support, practical tools for decision-making, or simply someone to listen, we are here to guide you. Our goal is to empower you to approach this journey with confidence and clarity.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.