Top 5 Self Care Tips After Abortion

If you’ve had an abortion, you may be feeling many emotions—or you may not be feeling much at all. Abortion experiences can differ widely from person to person, so whatever you’re experiencing is normal and valid. It might be helpful to ask yourself, “Have my emotions, my motivation, or my energy level changed in any way?” Regardless of how you feel about the  termination, it's a big moment in your life. As with any other life-changing situation, it's a good idea to process your emotions as they arise. It's important not to rush the process, because every woman's journey is different; however, it's also important not to bury or ignore emotions. If you want to begin processing your abortion, here are a few tips.

Your Emotions May Be Complicated or Contradictory and That's OK

The first part of processing anything is noting which emotions you feel. Consider setting aside some time in a place you feel safe and carefully examine what you feel. Write down every emotion you can identify, even if they seem to contradict one another. One post-abortion counselor describes the difficulty of post-abortion emotions this way: “Imagine dealing with thoughts like, ‘what made me so relieved also made me sadder than I’ve ever been and what made me sadder than I’ve ever been actually gave me relief.’” If you feel similarly, take heart that you are not alone in these feelings.

You may not be able to name every emotion. You can look through lists of emotions for help, or you can journal or create art about feelings you can’t perfectly describe.

Either way, it's important to realize that each emotion is valid and part of the healing process. You might want to say each one out loud so that you can acknowledge its presence without judgment. For example, just let yourself say, “I’m feeling angry, and I'm feeling relieved.” This is an important first step toward processing and healing.

Journal to Aid Processing Your Abortion

Many studies show journaling to be helpful for processing all kinds of emotions and experiences. You might want to buy a special notebook that is just for processing the abortion. This journal  can be a way of reminding yourself that you matter and are worthy of attention. You can record your story or write about the emotions you’re feeling. Your journal is a judgement-free space where you can say things you don't feel comfortable saying anywhere else. It can also be a place where you plan what you tell other people about your abortion experience. 

Plus, journalling doesn't have to look like writing in a notebook—you could create a note on your phone so you can jot down your thoughts anywhere or a document on a computer if typing is easier for you. You could speak what you're feeling out loud if you’re in the house by yourself or on a walk. You can even use other forms of art to express your experience and emotions, like painting, scrapbooking, songwriting, or choreographing a dance.

Practice Self Care to Affirm Your Body

Our bodies and minds are deeply connected, so strengthening one often helps the other. Abortion is a deeply physical experience so it makes sense that taking care of your body is a necessary part of processing it. 

Studies show that post abortion exercise can help with recovering from a loss, which many women say they feel after having an abortion. Exercise also increases endorphins, the hormones that help us feel good. If you’ve just had an abortion, make sure to take things slow at first and do gentle movements. Be honest with your doctor about the abortion so you can get personalized advice about when you can start more intense workouts, as your recovery time depends on the stage and type of abortion.

As time passes after your abortion, treating your body with love and care is an important part of processing your experience. Consider swimming, dancing (whether a fun class or alone in your room), biking, long walks, self-massaging, or hands-on activities like cooking a fancy recipe, sewing, nature crafts, or fine arts.

Do Something That Gives You a Sense of Closure

Some women feel the need for a sense of closure after an abortion. This can happen immediately after the abortion or weeks, months, or years later. There are different things you can do to find closure. Some people suggest allowing yourself to have a day of grieving, perhaps on the anniversary of your abortion. Others find comfort and healing in creating different rituals or mementos that honor their story.

You may not feel a need for a sense of closure, and some of these activities may actually feel unhelpful to you. This is valid and normal—everyone's journey and desires are different, especially in this deeply personal situation. Think about what it is you want and need from this process and don’t be afraid if it takes time to discover what that is.

Talk to Someone

Perhaps the most important tip on this list is to talk to someone about your experience in a completely safe, non-judgmental space. Multiple doctors, counselors, and and women who have had abortions encourage some kind of post-abortion counseling. This could be with a licensed therapist or a trusted friend. Because this is such a sensitive topic, think carefully about whom you talk to. 

If you aren't sure if there is someone in your life whom you feel comfortable talking to, consider coming to Avail NYC for our free programs. This is what we are here for: to provide a compassionate, confidential place for women to find clarity and healing after their abortion experience, no matter what they are feeling. We offer free, one-on-one sessions with expert client advocates who have their own abortion experiences and can listen to your story and provide helpful tools to process it and move forward  with freedom and hope. At Avail NYC, you can also join a weekly support group with women who have had similar experiences. We are here for you, whatever your needs.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.