What’s “Normal” After an Abortion?

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

If you’ve recently considered or have had an abortion, it’s common to want to know what may be standard after the experience. Yet it’s important to remember that what is “normal” is subjective and varies. Because each person is unique and has their own background and circumstances, people often feel a wide range of emotions. 

Understanding the Emotional Spectrum

The range of emotions that someone may experience after an abortion is wide. Some may experience relief and a sense of empowerment, affirming their decision based on their current life circumstances. Others might face a complex mix of sadness, guilt, grief, or confusion, struggling with the emotional weight of their choice. Still some may feel a conflicting mix, reflecting the weight of the decision even if they feel it is the best one for them.

These emotions may change over time as each person processes and learns to reclaim their story. However, understanding that your emotional response is unique and valid regardless of where you’re at in your experience is essential. Each emotion is a natural and personal response to a significant life event, and deserves to be acknowledged and processed.

The Process of Grieving and Healing

Grief is a natural response for many people after an abortion. This grief can take many forms – from tears to deep contemplation to numbness. Some may find comfort in talking about their feelings with trusted individuals, while others might prefer journaling or engaging in reflection. 

Healing is a journey that is unique to each person and doesn’t follow a set timeline. Give yourself permission to process your emotions in a way that feels right for you. This may involve exploring various coping mechanisms with a personal advocate or seeking professional support to navigate your feelings.

Resilience and Strength

Reflecting on your personal history of resilience and courage can be a source of empowerment. 

In the middle of hard times, it can be difficult to remember your strength, but you are capable. Think back to times when you faced something challenging, made difficult decisions, or overcame obstacles. Each of these memories are proof of your strength, your bravery, and your ability to do hard things. 

Confronting Internal and External Tensions

As you process these emotions, you may face feelings of judgment or criticism, both from yourself and others. Cultural norms and expectations from family members, friends, and even society can weigh heavily, causing feelings of guilt or shame. While these opinions may feel powerful, they don’t reflect the complexity of your situation  and are not a statement about who you are. 

It’s important to confront these feelings, recognizing them as a common part of the experience. You don't have to regret your abortion to need emotional support. Sorting through your unresolved feelings—the good, the bad, and the complicated—is the first step toward reclaiming your story, and we're here to help. 

Avail NYC is proud to offer a support group for women who have had an abortion experience and want to meet others with similar stories. We also provide one-on-one appointments with advocates who are trained in reflective listening, self-care tools to help you process your experience with confidence, and in-person support groups to connect you with other New Yorkers who understand what you’re going through. Talk with an advocate and get connected.

The Impact of Personal Beliefs and Values

Personal beliefs and values also play a big role in how people process an abortion experience. 

Often, people may feel an internal conflict or tension, especially if the decision to have an abortion challenges their deeply held values or life plans. This conflict can manifest as self-doubt, guilt, or questions about what they truly believe. 

Practicing self-reflection can be a crucial step in navigating these emotions. Working to understand and reconcile your personal beliefs with your decision can lead to a greater sense of peace and acceptance, but it’s a process that may require time and patience.

Dynamics of Relationships and Communication

After an abortion experience, people often find that it also affects how they relate with others as well. Relationships with a partner, family members, and friends may look different as perspectives and realities shift. 

Prioritizing open and honest communication about your thoughts and feelings is crucial. If you find it challenging to share your emotions or face difficulties in your relationships due to an abortion experience, consider talking with an advocate. They are trained to listen to your needs and goals, and help you develop strategies for effective and compassionate communication. 

You're Not Alone

Remember, the idea of what’s “normal” following an abortion includes a wide range of emotions and experiences. Each is influenced by personal circumstances and values, making it different for everyone. 

This journey involves processing many complex emotions, giving yourself space for grief, finding strength from past moments of bravery, facing internal and external pressures, and committing to honest communication in relationships. This journey may be uniquely yours, with a timeline and process that fits you and your circumstances.

As you work toward reclaiming your story, remember that you are not alone. Support, understanding, and compassionate guidance are available. Avail NYC offers a safe space with personal advocates who understand the complexities of the emotions and experiences after an abortion experience. 

If you’re seeking someone to talk to, a person who can offer support and understanding without judgment, consider reaching out to Avail NYC. We are here to listen, provide support, and help you navigate your path towards healing and peace.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

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