Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.
If your girlfriend is pregnant, it can be challenging to know how to be a support to her while navigating your own thoughts and feelings about the pregnancy. An unexpected pregnancy is a lot to process, for everyone involved. Many men may think they shouldn’t have feelings surrounding an unexpected pregnancy, but it’s actually normal for men to feel fearful, overwhelmed, and anxious about the decisions ahead.
It is important to try to understand your partner and create a safe space in this process.
You might not know what your girlfriend needs in an unexpected pregnancy which may lead you to feel like you should back off and let her decide on her own. Even if you are not sure what she needs, stay present. Remind your girlfriend that you are there for her and commit to supporting her through this process. Actively listen to her fears and concerns.
An abortion decision is an intimate decision between you and your partner; here are a few practical ways for you to create a supportive environment and safe space for your partner as you navigate through an unexpected pregnancy.
Women may choose to have an abortion for a variety of reasons. She may feel that it is not the right time for her to have a child because of practical reasons like financial concerns and her desire to reach specific goals. She may fear sharing the news of a pregnancy with family or friends because of a potentially negative response. Another reason she may consider abortion is that she doesn’t feel safe with or supported in the relationship.
Share
your feelings with her vulnerably without dumping your anxiety on your partner. Take time to think through your feelings for yourself and let your partner know you want to talk. Be cautious not to delay sharing your feelings and support. Listen and speak in a respectful manner, not making her feel pressure or judgment from you.
Many men feel that being supportive is best displayed by saying a derivative of the following: “I’ll support you no matter what you choose”, however, this doesn't provide support nor take a posture of responsibility. This would probably be a frustrating interaction for your girlfriend. Similarly, saying, “It’s your choice, I’ll support whatever you decide”, puts the full weight and responsibility on your partner, making her feel even more alone.
Being supportive, especially if you don’t want your girlfriend to choose abortion, looks like addressing your girlfriend’s concerns and taking accountability and initiative in the areas you are responsible. This looks like actively validating your girlfriend’s concerns and addressing them.
Here are ways you can be supportive in your girlfriend’s fears and concerns.
There are many resources available to support women and men in the decision-making process. It can be helpful to speak with someone who has made the decision you are considering. At Avail NYC, you can speak confidentially with male client advocates about your options.
Making a decision about an unexpected pregnancy is significant and considering all the “what ifs” in each option can be overwhelming. Carrying a pregnancy to term or going through an abortion will most immediately affect your partner physically. Make a safe space for your partner to share her feelings with you. If she is feeling pressure from you (towards either decision), she may not feel comfortable to honestly process her feelings with you. Think through what you want to share with her and avoid being manipulative. Do not shame her for considering an abortion, but listen patiently.
If you're still struggling with what to say, Avail NYC has trained, unbiased client advocates who are here to help in a supportive, non-jugmental space. You can meet with a male client advocate individually or with your partner. We are here to support you and her in this journey.
Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.
ABOUT AVAIL
Avail NYC provides free, compassionate support for women and men navigating unexpected pregnancies or seeking support after an abortion. Our trained Personal Advocates offer a safe, confidential space online or in-person to process emotions and explore options. Equipping clients with personalized coping strategies and resources, we empower them to move forward with confidence at their own pace. Avail NYC is not a medical provider. To learn more or meet with a personal advocate, visit Avail NYC.
Our office is conveniently located at 115 W 45th St, 4th floor, New York, NY 10036. To see directions and hours, please read more about our location.
For your online appointment, please check your email for the link to join the appointment via Zoom. This link was sent when you scheduled the appointment and is included in your appointment reminders. If you can’t find it, don’t hesitate to contact us, and we’ll resend the information quickly.
You can always cancel or reschedule your appointment if you need to. Simply select “Manage Appointments” via our online booking system or contact us directly to move your appointment to a time that better fits your schedule.
If you miss your appointment, there’s no need to worry. We understand that things can come up unexpectedly. Simply reschedule at your earliest convenience through our online system or by reaching out to us.
Absolutely, you are welcome to bring someone with you for support during your appointment. We aim to make you as comfortable as possible, and having your partner or a supportive friend or family member by your side can be part of that. Just add a note when you make the appointment and we will have a male or female advocate there to support them.
Our personal advocates are highly trained, trauma-informed professionals who have been trained on counseling techniques, confidentiality, and sensitivity to diverse needs, and how to help others make a decision.
We're here to make sure you feel fully supported. We do encourage you to work with one advocate, but if you feel you need to make a change at any time, learn more about our team of qualified personal advocates or just reach out to us.
A safe place for confident decisions.
115 W. 45th St., 4th Floor
NY, NY 10036
Text us: 234-201-0532 or Call us: 212-689-1705
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