My Partner Is Unexpectedly Pregnant: What Now?

As a popular commercial once said, “having a baby changes everything.” Even planned pregnancies can generate a flood of emotions for those going through the process for the first time, and if you weren’t expecting a child so soon, you may be wondering what to do. Read on for a few ways you can help support your partner through this rollercoaster ride, as well as tips on how you can both learn more about the options available to you.

Supporting Your Partner

There are a few small but powerful things you can do to provide your partner or spouse with moral support during this time in your lives.

First, you’ll want to set aside any urge you may have to force your partner into making a decision. When a pregnant woman feels pressured by her partner, she may either wind up resentful or worried that going against these wishes will end the relationship. Neither of these outcomes are ideal.

You’ll also want to tend to your partner’s physical needs as much as you can. Although every pregnancy is different, many women experience some strong symptoms during the first trimester, from fatigue to food cravings (and aversions) to nausea and vomiting. By taking on the lion’s share of household duties, like cleaning, cooking, and caring for pets, you’ll provide your partner with the freedom to relax and focus on her own physical and emotional health during this period.

It’s crucial to take care of your own needs during this time, as well. It can be hard to “fill another’s cup,” so to speak, when your own is empty, so practicing self-care—whether this is a commitment to daily exercise or meditation, or talking out your feelings with a non-judgmental friend—can leave you refreshed and re-invigorated to once again be your partner’s rock.

Exploring Your Options

Although you’re not the one physically carrying the pregnancy, which can often leave you feeling as though your wishes and desires are on the back burner, having “buy in” from both partners is key to maintaining a strong relationship going forward. It’s important for you to give some thought to the options available, even when you’re committed to letting your partner guide the way.

Going through an unplanned pregnancy can be an anxiety-inducing process for all involved, and this stress may be amplified for partners who sometimes may feel they have little say in whatever decision is made. By talking through your feelings with one of Avail NYC‘s male client advocates, you’ll be in a much better position to be the best partner possible. Contact us to make an appointment with an advocate today.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider. 

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