Caitlin sits in her room, crying so hard her whole body shakes. So many thoughts run through her head. Mostly just no, repeated over and over. Until her mom knocks on the door and asks, “What’s wrong? Caitlin?”
On the other side of town, Shaunda sits in class. Her eyes are red, but no one really notices. She keeps her head down and tries to focus on her exam, but her mind is awhirl. When her shoulders start to shake, her professor comes over, puts a hand on hers, and quietly asks, “Is something wrong? Can I help you?”
A third girl, Phoebe, looks at her best friend as they walk through the park. She asks the big question, the one that is running through each girl’s mind: “How do I tell my mom I’m pregnant?”
Look at Your Options
We know an unexpected pregnancy can be really tough news to get. The shock and fear can be paralyzing, and you may not know where to turn, or who you can talk to at first. Despite what you may be thinking, you are not alone.
Our compassionate, unbiased client advocates are here for you and can help you plan what to say when talking with your mom. They will guide you through a decision-making tool to help you decide which option is right for you.
At Avail NYC, we want to make sure you are informed on each of these choices so you are able to make the best possible decision for you. They can also help you plan how to talk to your mom.
Put Together a Plan
Timing can be important, especially when you have difficult news to share. Plan to tell your mom at a time when she’s not busy with important things, and when there will be plenty of time to talk. If she’s on deadline for a work project or about to rush out the door, that might not be the opportune time. Also, have a backup time, just in case something comes up.
When you do sit down to talk, being direct is usually the best choice. Talking all around a subject when one person doesn’t know what’s at the heart of it can be frustrating, and that won’t help you. Just as you were surprised, expect your mom will be, too. Give her some time to move past that and calm herself. Then, continue the conversation.
She will probably ask what you plan to do, or she may give you her opinion on what she wants you to do. Think about how you want to respond to both of those situations, so you will be prepared. You can probably guess some of the other questions she will ask, too. They likely won’t make for a fun conversation, but spending some time thinking about what she might ask, and what your answer will be, will help you feel more prepared.
Make an appointment to visit Avail. We are here to help you in a non-judgmental environment that is focused on providing the support and information you need. All services are free of charge to our clients.
Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.