avail-nyc

How to Forgive Your Partner After an Abortion

Mon, 15 Dec 2025 16:26:45 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Relationships have always been full of complexity and nuance. At their best, they offer a space of mutual exploration, where you and your partner learn from one another and work toward unity.

One of the most revealing parts of any relationship is how you walk through difficult moments together. For some couples, one of those moments may be navigating the emotional aftermath of an abortion .

This experience can feel deeply personal and, at times, overwhelming—especially when forgiveness becomes part of the healing process. You might find yourself trying to make sense of your emotions, unsure how to process what has happened. Perhaps you are still in the relationship and working through forgiveness with your partner. Or maybe the relationship has ended, and now you are left wondering how to move forward on your own.

You may be asking, How do I forgive them? Can I find peace after this? What does healing even look like?

Whatever you are experiencing, know that your feelings are valid. Forgiveness is never easy, but it’s often a necessary and meaningful part of finding peace.

What forgiveness really means

By definition, forgiveness is a choice to let go of resentment, anger, and the desire to punish or get revenge on someone who has hurt you. It does not mean forgetting what happened, condoning the behavior, or even reconciling the relationship.

Forgiveness means acknowledging both the hurt and the harm—and still choosing to release its hold on you.

Many people struggle to forgive , believing that the forgiveness means excusing someone’s actions or pretending that what happened was okay. In reality, it is the opposite. Forgiveness says, What happened affected me deeply, but I am choosing to let go of the weight it carries so that I can begin to heal. That choice is yours to make, when you are ready.

Forgiveness is not a single moment. It is not a neat before-and-after experience. It often unfolds in (sometimes surprising) layers. You might find yourself forgiving one part of the story, only to have new emotions surface weeks or months later. This does not mean you are doing it wrong. It simply means you are human.

Forgiveness is part of healing, not pretending

Many people hesitate to forgive because they fear it means giving up their sense of justice, dignity, or self-respect.

But forgiveness is not about pretending the past did not happen. It is not about minimizing your pain, forgetting what was said or done, or rushing yourself to move on. Forgiveness is about refusing to let the past control your present.

In many ways, forgiveness is an act of self-protection. Anger and hurt can take up emotional, mental, and even physical energy, leaving you depleted. Letting go doesn’t excuse the pain; it simply keeps the pain from defining you.

And forgiveness does not have to lead you back to the relationship. You can forgive someone and still decide that distance, boundaries, or closure is what is healthiest for you. In that sense, forgiveness becomes a way to reclaim your peace. Forgiveness gives you your power back.

Sometimes the person you need to forgive is yourself

Forgiveness does not always involve someone else. Sometimes, the hardest part is offering it to yourself.

You may be carrying regret about what you said or didn’t say. You may wish you had made a different decision or handled things another way. You might be holding onto guilt for choices you made or for simply being in a situation you never expected to face.

Self-forgiveness can be the hardest kind, because we often hold ourselves to impossible standards. But healing cannot fully take root without extending compassion inward too.

There may be a quiet moment when you look in the mirror and whisper, I did the best I could with what I knew at the time. That simple acknowledgment can be more healing than anything someone else could say.

For many, self-forgiveness is a form of grace that becomes the doorway to emotional freedom.

Forgiveness takes time

You might be thinking, But how do I acknowledge what happened and still forgive?

The honest answer is that it takes time. Forgiveness is not a quick decision or a straight path. It often comes in waves, and it rarely happens all at once.

One thing we always remind people in our after-abortion meet up is this: grief has no timeline. It is natural to feel pressure to move on or wonder how long healing should take. But the process of forgiveness looks different for everyone. Some days you may feel open and ready to let go. Other days, not at all. Both are part of the journey.

The encouragement is always to give yourself grace. That word, grace, becomes something we return to again and again. It is a reminder that healing has no deadline.

Forgiveness often begins with one honest conversation. Maybe there is a moment when you finally sit down with your partner after weeks of quiet distance. You say, with a trembling voice, “I am hurt, and I do not know how to talk about it.” Your partner does not try to fix it or defend themselves. They simply listen. That moment does not make everything better, but it becomes a first small step toward emotional release.

Another evening, grief may rise unexpectedly. Maybe on the train ride home, or in the shower, or during a quiet moment before bed. Instead of pushing the emotion away, you let yourself cry. No blame. No guilt. Just truth. That too is part of forgiveness.

These moments remind you that forgiveness does not mean shutting down your emotions. It means letting them move through you, so they do not harden into resentment.

Forgiveness in relationship

You might stumble across a moment when you see your partner grieving quietly in their own way. Maybe they are putting away a baby item, replaying conversations, or breaking down in tears when they think no one is watching.

Suddenly, the situation no longer feels like your pain versus theirs. You realize that both of you were overwhelmed, scared, and doing the best you could at the time. That awareness does not erase the hurt, but it can soften the space around it.

Do not be afraid to name what you need. In some relationships, healing begins when someone gently says, I want to walk toward forgiveness, but I need emotional consistency from you. Your partner may respond by checking in more often, asking how you are feeling, or simply being present in ways they were not before.

These small shifts do not make everything better, but they help rebuild trust . They make forgiveness feel possible rather than pressured.

Forgiveness when the relationship has ended

If the relationship has ended, forgiveness might take a different shape. You may still be carrying unanswered questions or emotions that feel unresolved. Even without ongoing connection, there can still be space for healing and release.

Sometimes, forgiveness looks like having a calm conversation months later. You say, “I do not hold anger toward you anymore, but I am choosing a path that brings me peace.” That moment can mark the beginning of a new chapter. One that does not require reconciliation to be meaningful.

Forgiveness becomes a gift you give yourself, not a reward for the other person. And in the quiet that follows, make sure you are also forgiving yourself.

It might also mean choosing to move forward quietly, without ever having that final conversation. You carry the lessons, the grief, and the growth with you. And you let go. Not because it was easy, but because you are ready.

Forgiveness does not erase the story. It simply allows you to stop carrying its heaviest parts.

Support is available

Whether you are navigating forgiveness with a partner, seeking closure on your own, or simply trying to process the weight of your experience, you do not have to go through it alone.

Avail offers compassionate, confidential support for women and men through one-on-one conversations with trained care experts. You can connect over Zoom or by text, in a space that is respectful and focused on what matters to you.

Whether you are feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or simply unsure where to begin, you are welcome here. There is no expectation to have the right words or the right answers. Just a place to start.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

About the Author

Leah is a bilingual client care expert at Avail , fluent in English and Spanish. She holds a master’s degree in social work and brings a compassionate, grounded presence to her work. Leah values creating a calm, supportive space where individuals feel safe to share openly and know they are respected, understood, and cared for.

Is My Girlfriend Pregnant? Signs to Look For and What to Say

Sat, 15 Nov 2025 20:22:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

If you’re asking yourself, “Is my girlfriend pregnant?” you’re not alone. It’s a big question, and it can bring up a lot of feelings: uncertainty, concern, even fear. Maybe you’ve noticed some changes in your girlfriend. Maybe she seems quiet or off but hasn’t said much. Or perhaps you asked her directly and she brushed it off, but you still feel unsure.

It’s okay to have questions. And it’s okay not to have all the answers right away.

While the only way to confirm a pregnancy is through a medical test, it can be helpful to understand some early signs that may point in that direction. Paying attention to these signs can give you a clearer picture and help you figure out how to show up with care and support.

Common signs your girlfriend might be pregnant

Early pregnancy causes shifts in hormones like human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) that can lead to noticeable physical and emotional changes. However, every woman's experience is different. Some people have noticeable symptoms, while others don’t feel much change at all. Let's explore some early signals that could suggest pregnancy.

Missed period

This sign might not be as obvious as it sounds. Sometimes women experience implantation bleeding in early pregnancy, which they mistakenly count as a period. However, implantation bleeding is usually lighter and shorter than a normal period.

A missed period is one of the more common signs people notice. That said, early pregnancy can sometimes cause light spotting (called implantation bleeding ), which might be mistaken for a period. If your girlfriend mentions a shorter or lighter period than usual, it may be worth gently checking in.

You might also consider, with her permission, tracking her cycle together. This can be a helpful way to stay connected and informed, especially if you're both feeling unsure.

Nausea or upset stomach

If she’s eating less than usual or complaining about her stomach feeling off, especially without signs of illness, it’s understandable to wonder if it could be related to pregnancy. Some people call it “morning sickness,” but it can happen any time of day.

Feeling unusually tired

If your partner is mentioning that she’s feeling exhausted or seems more drained, it may be worth checking in with her about why her energy levels may be different than usual. There are many reasons someone might feel tired, but if it seems out of the ordinary, this could be one of them.

According to the Cleveland Clinic , there are many reasons why pregnancy causes fatigue. Pregnancy causes a woman’s body to begin enormous changes: the mental and emotional load often rises, blood sugar decreases, hormone levels shift, and her body makes more blood to bring nutrients to sustain the pregnancy.

Sensitivity to smells or foods

Have you noticed her suddenly disliking foods she used to enjoy? Or reacting strongly to smells like perfume or food? That shift could be linked to changes in hormones early in pregnancy.

Breast tenderness

Sore or swollen breasts can be a sign your girlfriend’s pregnant, or they can be signs she is about to get her period. However, these signs are often amplified in pregnancy since hormones cause her body to retain more fluid leading to more swelling and tenderness.

If your girlfriend mentions her breasts are feeling sore or swollen, it could be related to her menstrual cycle or possibly pregnancy. Again, it’s not a sure sign, but it’s something to keep in mind if you’re trying to piece things together.

Start with a conversation

This might feel like unfamiliar territory, but the most helpful thing you can do right now is talk with her. If she hasn’t brought it up, she might be feeling scared, overwhelmed, or unsure what to say.

Start gently. Let her know what you’re noticing and that you care about what she’s going through. If she is pregnant, or even just wondering if she might be, it can be a lot to carry alone. Your calm presence and commitment matters more than having all the answers.

Try something like: "Hey, I’ve noticed you haven’t been feeling like yourself lately. I just want you to know I’m here if there’s anything on your mind or if you’re going through something big. We're a team.”

Sometimes just saying you’re there is the first step toward an honest, healing conversation.

You don't have to figure this out alone

At Avail, you and your girlfriend can connect with a trained care expert who will listen, offer space to talk through what you’re noticing, and help you both find the next steps that feel right. Our support is:

Free
Confidential
Available by Zoom or text
Focused on your well-being and values

We won’t pressure you or make decisions for you. Instead, we provide a safe space to talk things through, get information and resources, and explore next steps so you can move forward with clarity and confidence.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

What to Do When You Find Out You’re Pregnant

Sat, 25 Oct 2025 16:33:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Maybe you just saw the result or maybe you’re still trying to take it in. An unintended pregnancy can bring a wave of complex questions and feelings that shift from moment to moment. Whether you’re feeling everything at once or nothing at all, your reaction matters.

If you’re thinking, “I’m pregnant, now what?” or wondering what to do next, you’re not alone in that question. Many people feel unsure at the start of this journey. There’s no one right way to move forward, and you don’t have to rush into anything right now.

There’s space for you here, and there are gentle next steps that can help you move forward with clarity and care.

Step 1: Give yourself a moment

When you first find out you’re pregnant, everything can feel urgent. You may feel pressure to act quickly or make a decision immediately. But the truth is, slowing down can actually be more helpful .

Even a short pause can create space to think more clearly and gently process what you’re experiencing. Let your body catch up with your mind. Notice where you’re holding tension, and gently release it. Unclench your jaw. Relax your shoulders. Take a deep breath.

You don’t need to have it all figured out today. You can take this one step at a time.

Step 2: Know that you have options

An unexpected pregnancy can make it feel like your choices are limited, but you still have options .

Some people find it helpful to explore what parenting, abortion, or adoption might look like in their specific situation. Others begin by talking through their emotions before looking at practical details. However you choose to begin, you don’t have to do it on your own.

At Avail, we offer confidential, one-on-one support over Zoom or text. Our care experts are here to listen and help you think through your values, your goals, and what matters most to you.

There’s no pressure to decide anything in the moment. You can explore your thoughts and take whatever time you need to feel grounded in your decision.

Step 3: Talk to someone you trust

Saying the words out loud can be a powerful step. But it’s not always easy to know who to talk to or what to say . If there’s someone in your life who makes you feel safe and supported, consider starting there.

But if you’re not ready to talk with a friend or family member, that’s okay too. Support doesn’t have to come from someone close to you to be meaningful. You can reach out to an experienced, compassionate care expert who will meet you without judgment or agenda.

Having space to share what you’re carrying can help you feel a little less alone as you begin to take the next steps after finding out you're pregnant.

Step 4: Reflect on what matters to you

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to making decisions about a pregnancy. That’s why it can help to take a quiet moment to check in with yourself.

Here are a few questions that might help you begin:

What do I need emotionally and practically right now?
What are the values that guide my decisions ?
What are my hopes, concerns, or fears?
What would help me feel more supported?

You don’t have to have clear answers right now. Identifying what feels true for you is a process, and it can be an important part of finding clarity and peace.

Step 5: Choose one small next step

When you’re wondering what to do when you find out you’re pregnant, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by everything at once. That’s why it helps to focus on just one next step .

Take a moment to reflect on what you need. That can help guide your next step.

If you’re feeling alone, then it might be reaching out for support. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure, it might help to write down your thoughts or talk with someone who will listen. Or if you just need to clear your mind before thinking of anything else, it might be something as simple as getting rest or taking a walk to reconnect with yourself.

Even small steps can lead to clarity over time. And you don’t have to take them alone.

You are not alone

This may not be the moment you expected, but even in the uncertainty, there is space for care, support, and hope.

Avail exists to offer a safe space to process what you're experiencing. Whether you are exploring your options, looking for emotional support, or simply need someone to talk to, we are here to listen.

You can reach out at any point in your journey. We’re here to walk with you. There’s no pressure and no agenda. Our confidential support honors your story and your pace.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Pregnant Early in a Relationship? Here's What to Know

Sat, 20 Sep 2025 15:28:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Finding out you are pregnant can bring up a lot of emotions, especially if it happens early in a relationship. Maybe things are still new. Maybe you care about your partner but are unsure what kind of future you see together. Or maybe you just started dating and did not expect to be having a baby so soon in the relationship.

If you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy in a new relationship, it 's understandable that you might feel unsure about what to do next. At Avail , we talk with people every day who are navigating moments just like this. You’re not alone , and you don’t have to navigate this on your own.

It's okay to feel uncertain

Getting pregnant early in a relationship can raise a lot of questions. You may not know how your partner will respond or what kind of support you can expect. You may not even know yet how you feel about the pregnancy yourself. Everything might suddenly feel more complicated.

Some people find themselves asking big questions like:

How will this affect our relationship?
What if we're not ready for a baby?
Should we think about co-parenting or consider other paths?
How do I even talk to my partner about an unplanned pregnancy?

It is normal to have mixed emotions. There is no right or wrong way to feel. You get to move at your own pace and take the time you need to figure out what matters most to you.

How unplanned pregnancy can affect your relationship

When pregnancy happens early on, it can bring big questions about the future. For some couples, it opens the door to deeper conversations and closeness. For others, it may reveal differences in goals or values.

You might wonder if staying together is the right thing, or if you are being asked to make a long-term decision before you are ready. Choosing between co-parenting and getting married, or exploring other options, can feel overwhelming without support.

No matter where your relationship stands, it is okay to want space to process before making big decisions.

You are not alone

Unplanned pregnancies happen more often than many people realize. Research indicates that half of all pregnancies in the United States each year are unintended. That means millions of people find themselves in situations similar to yours.

And while this might feel like the end of the road, it really isn't. Many people who experience an unexpected pregnancy early in a relationship go on to build lives filled with connection, purpose, and growth. You are allowed to imagine a hopeful future. It's still within your reach, regardless of what you choose.

You have options

Whatever your situation, this is still your story. And you have options.

You may be thinking about parenting, co-parenting, adoption, or abortion. These are deeply personal choices, and it is okay to take your time exploring them.

Free and confidential support is available. You can connect with a trained care expert by Zoom or text today. Their role is not to tell you what to do, but to listen, offer space, and walk with you as you figure out what is best for you.

No pressure. No judgment. Just care.

How to tell your partner you're unexpectedly pregnant

If you are wondering how to tell your partner you are pregnant, especially when the relationship is new or uncertain, you are not the only one.

This can feel like a vulnerable conversation. Here are a few things that may help:

Find a time when you both feel calm and undistracted
Share honestly, even if you are not sure what comes next
Let them know what you need, whether it is space, support, or simply a listening ear
Reach out for help if the conversation feels too heavy to hold alone

You do not have to figure it all out in one conversation. Starting with honesty and care can make room for whatever comes next.

Support for your situation, at your pace

Whether you are pregnant early in a relationship, wondering about co-parenting versus getting married, or simply unsure what to do next, you are not alone in this.

Avail offers a calm, confidential space to think things through. You can meet with a care expert over Zoom or text. We are here to support you, not pressure you, and to walk with you toward whatever next step feels right.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Caroline’s Story: Welcomed, Heard, and Supported at Avail

Sat, 02 Aug 2025 21:12:27 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

*Names changed for confidentiality.

When Caroline first walked into Avail NYC’s office in Midtown Manhattan, she didn’t know what to expect. Introduced to Avail by a former boss in 2012, she was quickly drawn in by the mission and the warmth she felt from the very beginning. “I kind of fell in love with it,” she says, her voice lighting up at the memory.

A Safe Haven for Everyone

For Caroline, one thing stands out about Avail: everyone is welcome.

“I think what's so important to me about what Avail NYC is doing—and what I always share with people—is that it is a completely safe space for both men and women alike. I always emphasize that because I think so many people are like, ‘Oh, well, you know, it's only for women,’ and I'm like, ‘No, no, Avail NYC is not. Men are welcome, too.’”

Avail’s commitment to being truly inclusive is felt from the moment someone steps through the door or connects with a personal advocate online. It doesn’t matter what you believe or where you come from. “It's apolitical, and regardless of what religious background you have, you’re welcome,” Caroline says.

Peace in Every Detail

Reflecting on her first visit to Avail’s office, Caroline remembers a deep sense of peace.

“Just the fact that the women that walk into the Avail space feel completely comfortable to be themselves was something that resonated with me when I was in the first Avail NYC office almost eight years ago. The physical space itself felt really peaceful—everything from the decor, to the choice of paintings on the wall, to the type of chair; it's just very peaceful.”

At Avail, every detail is intentional. From our friendly staff, to the tea and candy waiting for you in the waiting room, to the care shown in every conversation. It’s all designed to make each person feel safe, supported, and valued. As Caroline puts it, “You feel seen. You feel heard.”

Why I Give and Why I Stay Involved

Caroline’s love for Avail goes deeper than admiration. She’s chosen to support Avail year after year, putting her belief into action.

“Personally, I believe that every person is important. I cannot say that if I don't back it up. I want people to know that I put my money where my mouth is and it's not just talk, that I actually do really care about the women and men who find themselves in this place.”

Her hope is that others, too, will experience the unique care and support that Avail provides, whether they’re facing an unintended pregnancy, processing an abortion experience, or simply in need of a safe, nonjudgmental space to talk.

A Lasting Impact

For Caroline, Avail is more than a resource. It’s a safe haven. It’s a place where people are empowered to make confident decisions, where everyone is treated with dignity, and where no one has to feel alone. Her story is just one example of the lasting impact that compassion, presence, and intentional care can make in the lives of women and men in New York City and beyond.

If you or someone you know could benefit from a confidential, judgment-free conversation, Avail NYC is here to listen and walk with you. Connect with a personal advocate today, or learn more about our support services for an unintended pregnancy and after-abortion support .

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

*Names changed for confidentiality.

How to Prepare for a Doctor’s Visit During an Unplanned Pregnancy

Sat, 26 Jul 2025 12:15:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

An unexpected pregnancy can bring a lot of emotions, especially when you are trying to keep up with everything else happening in life. For some, the thought of a doctor’s appointment might feel overwhelming. You may be wondering what to expect, what to ask, or how to make sure your voice is heard.

If any of that feels familiar, you are not alone. You do not have to have it all figured out before you walk through the door. There are simple ways to help you feel more grounded, prepared, and supported before, during, and after your appointment.

Here are a few gentle steps to help you approach this time with care for yourself.

Write Down What You Want to Ask

When life already feels full, it can be difficult to organize your thoughts in the moment. Writing down your questions ahead of time can help you feel more prepared and confident when you walk into your appointment.

If you are not sure where to begin, try asking yourself:

What do I want to understand about my pregnancy before making a decision?
What worries are on my mind?
What would help me feel more informed or at ease?

There are no wrong questions. Whether you are asking about your health, your options, or what to expect physically in the coming weeks, your questions deserve to be heard.

If it feels difficult to sort through your thoughts, you can talk with a personal advocate at Avail . Our team of personal advocates are here to help you explore your questions in a safe, supportive space, free of judgment or pressure.

Know That You Can Guide the Conversation

A doctor’s visit might feel like something you just have to get through, but your voice matters. You are allowed to ask questions, express your concerns, and ask for information in a way that makes sense to you.

If you are wondering where to begin, here are a few questions you might ask:

What options do I have moving forward?
Are there timelines or state laws I should be aware of for any of my options?
What physical changes should I expect in the coming weeks?
Where can I find additional information about my options?

You can also ask the doctor to slow down, repeat information, or explain things differently if something is unclear. If speaking up feels difficult, practicing beforehand with someone you trust can help. An Avail advocate can walk through these conversations with you, helping you find the language that feels right for you.

Consider Bringing Someone You Trust

Bringing a friend, partner, or family member to your appointment can offer comfort and reassurance. Having someone with you might make it easier to remember what was said, ask a question you hadn’t thought of, or simply feel more at ease in the room.

If you would rather go on your own, that is completely okay. This is your appointment, and you get to decide what feels best for you.

Afterward, if you want space to process what was shared or how you are feeling, you do not have to do that alone. Whether you meet with an advocate in person at our Midtown Manhattan office or virtually over Zoom, support is available to help you reflect and consider your next steps when you are ready.

You Don’t Have to Decide Everything Right Away

Sometimes an appointment can feel fast, and it might seem like you are expected to make decisions on the spot. But unless there is an urgent medical reason, you are allowed to take time before making any decisions about your next steps.

To advocate for the time and space you need, you can say things like:

“I need to think about this before making a decision.”
“I am not ready to decide today.”
“Can you provide resources so I can learn more on my own?”

Taking time does not mean you are avoiding the situation. It means you are giving yourself room to reflect and choose a path that feels aligned with your values , priorities, and goals.

Give Yourself Time to Process Afterward

After your appointment, you might notice a mix of complex emotions. Maybe you feel relieved, or maybe you feel confused, frustrated, or unsure. You might even find yourself thinking of new questions once you have some time and space. All of that is okay.

If you can, give yourself a little room to reflect. That might mean writing down your thoughts, taking a quiet walk, or reaching out to someone you trust. You might ask yourself:

What feels clear after the appointment?
What is still confusing or unsettled?
What kind of support would help me feel more confident?

You do not have to process all of this on your own. An advocate at Avail can help you reflect on what came up during your appointment and explore what next steps feel right to you.

You Are Not Alone in This

An unintended pregnancy can feel heavy, especially when you are trying to keep up with everything else in life. If you are feeling the weight of it all, know that you are not alone.

You are the one who gets to decide what comes next. Even when things feel complicated or unclear, your voice still matters and you are still in control. Taking time to reflect, ask questions, or say your thoughts out loud can help bring a sense of clarity and direction.

At Avail, we offer a space where you can slow down and think things through. Whether you are preparing for an appointment, processing what was shared, or simply trying to figure out your next step, an advocate can walk with you. We are here to listen and help you explore what feels right for you, in a way that honors your values and priorities.

You can meet with a personal advocate in person at our Midtown Manhattan office or connect virtually from wherever you are. However you choose to meet, support is free, confidential, and always judgment-free. When you are ready, we are here to listen and support you.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Are You Ready to Be a Parent?

Sat, 19 Jul 2025 21:01:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

“Am I ready to be a parent?” This is a big question that can bring up a wide range of emotions.

You might feel hopeful one moment and overwhelmed the next. Or maybe you are mostly unsure, trying to make sense of what this moment means for your future. If you are asking this question, you may be facing an unintended pregnancy or navigating a big life decision. Either way, it is okay if your heart feels full of questions.

You are not alone in wondering what comes next. At Avail , we talk with people every day who are exploring this same question. There is no single way to feel and no perfect formula for figuring it out, but there is space to think things through with honesty, support, and compassion.

This conversation begins with you. You get to move at your own pace, and you do not have to sort it all out at once.

Will you be able to provide for your baby’s needs?

People often talk about parenting as something you should be fully prepared for before it begins. Maybe you have heard that you need to have everything figured out: a steady job, a supportive relationship, and a certain level of financial security.

While those things can be helpful, they are not the only way to measure readiness.

The truth is, most people do not feel completely “ready” at the start. You might still be figuring out who you are and what you want, have questions about your future, or wonder if you are equipped for something this important. That is a common place to be, and it shows that you are thinking deeply about what matters.

Being ready does not always mean having every answer. Sometimes it means being willing to ask the questions and being open to what life may have in store for you. It often requires courage and a desire to grow, even when the path ahead feels uncertain.

If you are taking time to reflect on this decision, you are already moving forward with thoughtfulness. You do not need to be fearless to take the next step. You just need space to listen to yourself and support to help you explore what comes next.

Things to think about when considering parenting

This question may feel big, especially if you're carrying it alone. You might have moments of clarity followed by waves of uncertainty, and that is okay.

Sometimes it helps to take a step back and reflect on a few areas of life that parenting can touch. You do not need to have everything figured out. This is just a starting point to help you notice what is already present and what kind of support might be helpful moving forward.

Emotional support

Do you have someone you can talk to openly?
Have you had space to process how you are feeling about this pregnancy without fear of judgment?
What kind of emotional support would be most meaningful to you?

Parenting often brings up deep emotions. You do not have to carry those feelings alone. Even one safe, caring relationship can make a difference.

Relationships

How do you feel about the support—or lack thereof—from a partner, friend, or family member?
Are there people in your life who could walk alongside you if you choose to parent?
If support feels limited, you can build your support system. What communities or resources you could explore?

No relationship is perfect, but feeling supported and seen by even one person can help you feel more steady as you make decisions.

Finances and stability

Have you considered how parenting might affect your financial situation?
What steps could you take to receive support from programs or services that offer help to people raising children?

Many often wonder how this decision would shape their day-to-day lives. Stability is something many people build over time, often with support. You do not have to solve everything all at once.

Housing and environment

Are you in a living space where you would feel safe parenting?
If not, are there steps you could take—or resources to help you take them—to improve that environment?

Sometimes the environment around you can feel like a barrier. You are not alone in that feeling, and there are ways forward, even if the next step feels small.

Personal values and goals

What is important to you right now?
What values guide the decisions you make?
When you think about parenting, how does it fit with what matters most to you?

You carry meaningful hopes for your life, whether they are clearly defined or still unfolding. Taking time to reflect on your values can gently bring clarity as you think through what matters and what kind of future you want to build.

Choosing to parent does not mean letting go of the things that matter to you. It may shape the way you move toward your goals or shift the timing of certain plans, but your values and dreams are still part of the picture. Some people find that parenting brings new meaning to what they already care about, and others take time to discover how their values grow or change in this new season.

You do not need to have it all mapped out. Simply paying attention to what matters to you is a valuable place to begin.

What fear might be trying to tell you

Fear can show up quickly when you are facing a big decision. That is normal. It does not mean you are not ready or that something is wrong. Often, fear is trying to point you toward something you need: support, reassurance, or space to slow down and think things through.

Here are a few common fears people have when they are considering parenting. If any of these feel familiar, you are not alone.

Fear does not disqualify you. In many ways, it reveals how much this decision matters. Paying attention to those feelings with gentleness can help you understand what you need and what you are capable of.

What support could look like

You do not have to figure this out alone. Support can take many different forms, and it often starts with something small. A conversation. A check-in. A place where you can be honest about how you are really doing.

Here are a few examples of what support might look like:

A trusted friend who listens without trying to fix things
A family member who shows up in consistent, caring ways
A local group, online space, or spiritual community where you feel seen
Help with practical needs like childcare, transportation, or housing
A care expert who helps you think through your options with compassion and without pressure

Whatever support looks like for you, it is okay to need it. Everyone deserves to feel held and encouraged, especially when making a decision this personal.

At Avail, we offer free, confidential one-on-one support . You can talk with a trained care expert in a safe space that centers your voice, your values, and your pace. Whether you are leaning toward parenting or still exploring your options, we are here to listen and walk with you.

Get confidential support today.

When the path looks different than you planned

Sometimes life takes a turn you did not see coming. If this pregnancy was not part of your plan, you might be feeling a mix of complex emotions. Grief. Confusion. Fear. Even numbness. That is a common and valid response.

You may find yourself imagining the future you thought you would have and wondering what happens to those hopes now. That kind of shift can feel heavy, and you do not have to rush through it.

It is possible to feel unsure and still move forward. You can hold space for your losses and still make room for new possibilities. You can want clarity and still feel afraid. These experiences do not cancel each other out. They are part of being human.

You do not have to make a lifelong decision in one moment. You are allowed to pause. You are allowed to take one small step at a time and to make space for the questions that keep coming up along the way.

You get to decide what is right for you

No one else knows your story the way you do. No one else has lived your experiences or felt the weight of your choices. Whatever you are feeling right now, your voice matters. Your needs matter. You matter.

There is no perfect path and no timeline you have to follow. This is your decision. It belongs to you.

You may feel pressure from others or from yourself to figure everything out quickly, but you are allowed to move at your own pace . You can take time to reflect, to ask questions, and to consider what aligns with your values and hopes for the future.

If you would find it helpful to talk with someone, you can explore your options in a safe space. One-on-one support is available over Zoom or by text with a trained care expert who will listen with compassion and without judgment. You do not have to make this decision alone.

Moving forward, one step at a time

Whatever you are feeling right now, it is okay to take things slowly. You do not have to rush this decision or have everything figured out today. Taking time to reflect and ask honest questions is a meaningful, honorable step forward.

If it would help to talk with someone, support is here for you. You can connect with a trained care expert in a confidential space where you can share openly, explore your thoughts, and take things at your own pace. These one-on-one conversations happen over Zoom or by text, depending on what feels most comfortable for you.

There is no pressure, no agenda, and no judgment. Just a safe place to be heard and supported.

Parenting may feel like a big possibility, or one of many paths you are still exploring. However this season looks for you, your voice matters. You are not alone as you move forward, one step at a time.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

What to Expect After an Abortion: Physical, Emotional, and Mental Recovery

Mon, 07 Jul 2025 14:56:39 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Abortion is a deeply personal experience, and many people find themselves wondering what to expect in the days and weeks that follow. The experience can affect your body, your emotions, and your thoughts in ways that may not be easy to predict.

Whether you are in the early stages of recovery or still making sense of it all, you deserve care, support, and space to move forward at your own pace. You are not alone, and you do not have to process your experience by yourself.

Physical Recovery After an Abortion Experience

After an abortion, your body goes through a period of physical recovery. This can look different for each person and may be influenced by the type of procedure and other personal factors. Healing does not always follow a set timeline, and some people may need more time to recover than they expected.

According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) , it is common to experience bleeding and cramping for several days or even a few weeks after the procedure. You may also feel tired or physically sensitive as your body adjusts.

Most people are advised to rest, stay hydrated, and avoid strenuous activity for a short period of time. However, if you experience heavy bleeding, a fever, or severe pain, it is important to contact a medical provider right away.

Avail is not a medical provider and does not offer medical care, but we encourage you to talk with a healthcare professional about any physical symptoms or questions you may hav e.

Why a Follow-Up Appointment Matters

Many healthcare providers offer a follow-up appointment one to two weeks after an abortion. This visit allows a doctor to check that your body is healing well and to address any concerns you might have.

During this visit, a doctor might confirm that the abortion is complete and check for any signs of infection or complications. They may ask about your symptoms —such as cramping, bleeding, or pain—and offer guidance based on how your body is responding. In some cases, they may also provide information about your reproductive health and what to expect in the weeks ahead.

This kind of care can be an important part of protecting your overall well-being.

Finding Support for Your Follow-Up Appointment

If you have insurance, platforms like ZocDoc can help you find an in-network provider. If you are not sure how to begin, an Avail advocate can help you navigate your options and connect you with trusted referrals.

While Avail is not a medical provider and does not offer or refer for abortions, we can help you explore your support options and connect you with general healthcare resources that align with your needs. If you are feeling overwhelmed or unsure about how to move forward, meeting with an advocate can also offer emotional support as you prepare for your appointment, helping you think through your questions, concerns, or next steps.

Support is available to help you care for your health with confidence and clarity.

Processing Emotions After an Abortion Experience

Emotional responses after an abortion can vary widely and may shift over time. You might feel confident that you made the best decision for yourself and still carry feelings that are difficult to name or understand. Some people begin to process their experience right away, while others notice feelings surfacing weeks or even months later. However you are feeling, you are not alone, and you do not have to navigate it by yourself.

At Avail, we offer free, confidential emotional support in a compassionate, judgment-free setting. You are welcome to choose the type of support that feels right for you:

One-on-one appointments with a trained advocate who will listen with care and help you process what you are feeling
Joining a post-abortion support group , which is a small peer-based gathering led by an advocate

We offer separate groups for women and men, creating space to reflect, share, and feel supported by others who may understand what you are going through.

You are welcome at any point in your journey, whether you just had an abortion or are still processing one that happened years ago. There is no timeline for healing, and no pressure to be in any specific place emotionally.

Simple Ways to Care for Yourself

Healing is not just physical. It also includes tending to your emotional and mental well-being. For many people, small daily choices can gently support the recovery process and create a sense of care in a time that may feel heavy.

If you are not sure where to begin, you are not alone. Our guide to Practicing Self-Care After an Abortion offers practical and compassionate ideas to help you care for yourself in this season.

You might consider:

Taking time to rest without pressure to be productive
Creating a calming space that helps you feel safe and grounded
Moving your body in a way that feels good, whether through stretching, walking, or simply stepping outside
Limiting social media or setting boundaries with information that feels overwhelming
Scheduling time to check in with your trusted support system so that you don’t isolate
Writing down your thoughts or reflections to better understand what you are feeling

There is no formula for self-care. What matters is finding what helps you feel supported and gives you space to care for yourself.

Understanding Unexpected Feelings After Abortion

It is not always easy to know how you will feel after an abortion . Even when your decision felt clear, emotions can surface in ways you did not expect. Some people feel unsettled or surprised by what comes up, while others find it difficult to put their experience into words. If you are noticing feelings that are confusing or unfamiliar, you are not alone.

There is space to talk about what you are carrying, even if you are not sure how to begin. You do not need to have everything figured out to reach out for support. You can meet with an advocate at Avail who will listen with care and walk with you as you process what this experience has meant for you.

How to Take Your Next Steps With Support

Sometimes, knowing where to start can be the hardest part. You might wonder if your feelings are big enough to talk about or if it is too late to get support. The truth is that you do not need to have it all figured out before you reach out. You just need a place to begin.

At Avail , we tailor our support to meet you where you are. That might mean helping you process what happened, connecting you to a doctor for follow-up care, or simply sitting with you as you take your next step. There is no expectation or timeline, only space to reflect, heal, and be heard.

You are not a problem to be fixed. You are a person with a story, and your next chapter matters.

Free Emotional Support is Available at Avail

You do not have to carry this alone. Whether you are looking for a safe space to talk or want to connect with others who understand, Avail is here for you.

We offer:

One-on-one appointments with trained advocates who listen with compassion and without judgment
Post-abortion meetups , where you can join others in a small group setting to reflect, share, and support one another
Referrals to trusted care providers if you need additional medical or professional support

Every conversation is led with care, and every service is confidential and free. No insurance, no cost. Ever.

If you are ready to talk, or even just curious about what support might look like, we invite you to take that first step. You are not alone, and support is available when you are ready.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Can You Stay in School While Pregnant?

Sat, 05 Jul 2025 19:25:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Finding out you are pregnant while still in school can bring a mix of emotions. You might feel overwhelmed, uncertain, or simply in need of space to think. If you are wondering whether it is possible to stay in school while pregnant, know that you are not alone in asking that question.

At Avail, we’ve walked with many students who are navigating this season and sorting through what matters most to them. We believe you have the ability to make thoughtful decisions that reflect your values and your future goals. Continuing your education is possible, and you do not have to figure everything out by yourself.

No matter where you live or what your school situation looks like, support is available. There are real options that can help you care for your well-being, continue your education, and move forward in a way that reflects your values.

How to Stay in High School While Pregnant

If you are in high school and pregnant, you still have the right to finish your education and access support that helps you succeed. Whether you plan to parent, explore adoption, or are still figuring things out, there are programs in place to help you finish school and take care of your well-being at the same time.

If You Live in New York City

In New York City, the Department of Education offers several options for pregnant and parenting students:

Stay at your current school: You can remain enrolled and ask for support based on what you need. A guidance counselor can help you adjust your schedule, connect with a mentor, or access tutoring.
Use LYFE (Living for the Young Family through Education) : This program provides free, high-quality child care for your child while you attend school. LYFE sites are located across all five boroughs and offer support from social workers, counselors, and academic specialists.
Explore high school alternatives: If your current school does not feel like the right fit, NYC Referral Centers can guide you to flexible programs such as Pathways to Graduation or Young Adult Borough Centers (YABCs).

These programs are designed to work with your life, so you can complete high school while caring for yourself and your future.

If You Live Outside of New York City

Every state has different programs, but you still have legal rights as a pregnant student. Start by talking to a school counselor or trusted teacher.

Ask what support is available in your district. You may be able to:

Access on-campus child care or connections to local providers
Receive tutoring and academic support services
Enroll in alternative or online education programs with flexible schedules
Connect with a school social worker who can guide you to local resources

You have a future worth building, and there are people who want to help you succeed. If you are not sure where to begin or what questions to ask, a personal advocate at Avail can help you think through your options. You do not have to navigate this alone.

Can You Go to College While Pregnant?

Many students continue their education while pregnant, and some even begin college during or after pregnancy. Your path may look different than you expected, but that does not mean you have to give up on your goals.

With the right support, it is possible to continue moving forward in a way that works for you. Every person’s experience is unique, and only you can decide what pace or approach feels manageable for your life.

Benefits of Flexibility in College

College often offers more flexibility than high school. You may be able to create a class schedule that fits your energy, health, and personal responsibilities.

Some options you might explore include:

Taking classes part time instead of full time
Choosing online or hybrid courses
Building in breaks between classes for rest, meals, or appointments
Avoiding courses with strong smells or physical activity that could be uncomfortable later in pregnancy

Many colleges also have a student services office or disability support center that can help you request accommodations if you need them during your pregnancy.

Tips for Navigating College While Pregnant

You do not have to figure this out on your own, but here are a few ideas that might help:

Talk with your professors early. Sharing what you need ahead of time can help set expectations and open up options for flexibility.
Be thoughtful with your schedule. Allow for downtime when you can. Rest is an important part of caring for yourself and your baby if you plan to parent.
Pay attention to logistics. If your classes are spread across a large campus, you might want to plan for extra travel time or ask about accessibility resources.

Continuing your education while pregnant is possible. Your college journey might look different than you imagined, but that does not mean it cannot be meaningful and successful.

Finding Financial Support While in School and Pregnant

If you are thinking about continuing school while pregnant, the cost of education and childcare might feel overwhelming. Finances are a real concern for many students, especially when parenting is part of the picture. The good news is that support is available, and you do not have to navigate it all on your own.

Applying for Financial Aid

If you have not already, consider completing the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA®) . This form is the first step in finding out whether you qualify for:

Grants that you do not have to repay
Low-interest student loans
Work-study jobs that allow you to earn money while attending school

Some colleges also offer additional financial support for student parents, including emergency funds or scholarships. Your school’s financial aid office can help you understand your options. If your circumstances have changed because of pregnancy or parenting, ask about a special circumstances review to reassess your financial aid .

Childcare Support for Student Parents

If you are planning to parent, access to reliable childcare can be essential. In New York City, eligible families can apply for free or low-cost childcare through the Administration for Children’s Services (ACS) . Some colleges also provide on-campus childcare or can connect you with local resources.

If you live outside of NYC, start by checking with your school’s student services office or your local Department of Social Services . There may be programs in your area that provide financial assistance or affordable childcare options for student parents.

At Avail, we understand that finances can feel like one of many concerns right now. If you want someone to help you think through your options or connect with local resources, connect with an advocate .

Building a Support System

You are not meant to navigate this alone. Having people around you who listen, encourage you, and offer support can make a meaningful difference. Whether you are in high school, college, or somewhere in between, the right support system can help you feel less isolated and more equipped to take your next steps.

Your support system might include:

A trusted teacher, professor, or school counselor
Friends or family members who listen without judgment
A mentor or community leader you respect
A personal advocate who can help you process your emotions and explore your options

It is okay if your support circle feels small right now. Even having one person to talk to can provide relief and perspective. And if you are looking for a space to reflect with someone who understands, Avail offers free, confidential support in person or virtually. You can talk with an advocate who is there to listen and help you find the resources that fit your needs, without pressure or expectation.

You do not have to figure this out by yourself. Support is available, and you deserve care that honors your voice and your values.

If You Are Not Sure What to Do Next

Pregnancy can bring up a lot of questions, and school might be just one part of what you are thinking about. You deserve the time and space to reflect before making any decisions about what comes next.

You might start by asking yourself:

What matters most to me right now?
What kind of support do I need?
What do I hope for in my future?

Some people find it helpful to journal their thoughts or talk with someone they trust. Others need quiet space to think things through before speaking with anyone. There is no right or wrong way to process what you are feeling.

If you want a safe place to talk things out or explore your next steps, support is available. Talk with an advocate today .

You Are Not Alone

No matter where you are in your education or what decisions you are considering, you do not have to navigate this season by yourself. Being pregnant while in school can bring uncertainty, but it does not define your future. There is support available to help you think through your next steps in a way that reflects who you are and what matters most to you.

If you want a space to reflect, ask questions, or simply talk with someone who will listen without judgment, support is here. You deserve care that meets you where you are and helps you move forward with clarity and confidence.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

7 Tips for Men Facing an Unplanned Pregnancy

Sat, 28 Jun 2025 19:38:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

An unexpected pregnancy and past abortion journey are complex experiences. Truthfully, they affect both men and women deeply. Whether or not you’re in a relationship with your partner, you still need time and space to process on your own. You may be feeling pressure from your partner or those around you. Let's pause and look at the whole situation, piece by piece, to understand it better.

Acknowledge the big “if”

If you’re wondering, “What if she’s pregnant?,” know that you’re not alone. It's a valid question and a possibility, but it's best not to jump to conclusions. Check in with your partner to see how she’s feeling.

Maybe you didn’t take the usual precautions when you were last intimate, and now you’re second guessing. Or maybe she’s been acting a bit unlike herself lately. Either way, it’s important to research the key signs of pregnancy , and then have an honest conversation together.

Establish clear communication

Clear communication is vital to reducing stress and setting expectations in any relationship—platonic, romantic, sexual, or otherwise. Try to be as honest as possible with your partner about your emotions, values, and desires.

Make sure you’ve both had time to process on your own before taking any next steps . Consider writing down or even making a note on your phone to sort out your thoughts and plan what you’d like to communicate with your partner. This can help both of you feel more confident as you approach what could be a difficult conversation.

Know your values

Get clear on your values. Whether or not we’re aware of it, our core beliefs inform the way we see the world and the decisions we make. It’s important to reflect and consider what values are driving you through your current situation.

Ask yourself, “What are my core values? How do they align with my actions? How can I better integrate your values into your decision making, long-term goals, and daily practices?”

Reflecting on the bigger picture and larger context is always important. Not sure how to start? Connect with a care expert on your own or together as a couple. We have science-backed tools to help you on your journey.

Consider the future of your relationship

Deciding on the future of your relationship might be a crucial concern right now. Maybe you’re not exclusive or committed to this person, or maybe you’ve been in a relationship, but you’re not confident about a future together.

If you’ve faced a lot of issues lately, consider whether those issues are long-term or short-term. Are they based on temporary circumstances or persistent character traits? Do you see a way forward if those issues could be resolved? Are you safe ?

Remember to take her feelings into account too; she might be feeling more overwhelmed than you are. How can you offer her the best support , no matter what your relationship status is?

Explore the financial commitment

You may be thinking a lot about the financial burden associated with your situation, but thankfully, you're not in this by yourself. From medical costs and essential supplies to emotional support, our network offers a variety of free resources to assist both you and your partner.

As you explore your options, we're here to guide you every step of the way. Or if you’re simply looking for resources, we're ready to connect you with one of our partnering organizations.

Process a past abortion experience

If your partner has had an abortion , and you’re looking for a place to process. Abortion experiences are complex, and can cause a wide range of emotions for both partners. It’s perfectly normal to experience a variety of shifting emotions around it, both good and bad, even many years later. Whatever you’re feeling, we’re here to listen.

Make an appointment with one of our trained personal advocates for a confidential space to process your emotions, or consider joining one of our support groups to hear from others who’ve walked through it.

Continue to process

Looking for more resources? Choose what’s best for you based on on your situation:

My partner is pregnant, or may be pregnant, and I'm not sure what to do .
My partner is pregnant, and I want to know more about parenting or adoption .
My partner had an abortion, and I want to process .
I want to know how to build a healthy relationship .

Each of these aspects can be difficult and even overwhelming to process. Talking with someone you trust is a great way to evaluate how you're feeling and what you value. If you'd like, you can also talk with one of our trained male care experts , who are here to listen to you without judgment or pressure.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Finding Healing and Support in a Post-Abortion Support Group

Sat, 21 Jun 2025 12:00:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

No two people experience an abortion in the same way. Some move forward quickly, while others find themselves carrying emotions or questions they didn’t expect —days, months, or even years later.

You may be navigating emotions that feel confusing or unexpected. Or you might be trying to make sense of how this experience is sitting with you now.

Wherever you are, you are not alone.

When you're ready to reflect on your experience, you deserve a space that feels safe and supportive. Hope Meetups at Avail are small, confidential groups where you can explore your thoughts, connect with others, and take steps toward clarity and peace in your own time and in your own way.

What is a Hope Meetup?

A Hope Meetup is a small, facilitated support group for women and men who have experienced abortion. There are separate groups for women and for men, so each person can reflect and connect in a space that feels comfortable and relevant to their experience.

Each group is led by a trained personal advocate who offers calm, compassionate guidance. They are there to listen, not to judge. Their role is to create a safe and supportive space where your story and your questions are welcome.

Hope Meetups are designed to help you:

Take time to reflect on your experience
Explore your thoughts and emotions without pressure
Connect with others who may relate to what you are feeling
Begin to identify what healing or growth might look like for you

Some people attend one Meetup and find it helpful, while others return for multiple sessions over time. There is no set timeline for processing, and there is never any pressure to share. You are free to speak, listen, or simply take it in.

Everything shared in a Hope Meetup is confidential. The group is designed to be a space where you feel safe, respected, and supported in whatever stage of your journey you are in. Hope Meetups are available whenever you need support, and you are welcome just as you are.

Support for Women and Men

Abortion experiences can affect both women and men in personal and sometimes unexpected ways. Whether you were navigating it alone, felt left out of the decision, made the decision with your partner, or are simply trying to understand what this experience means to you, your emotions are real and worth exploring.

Avail offers Hope Meetups for both women and men. These groups are held separately so that each space can feel personal, safe, and supportive for each unique experience.

Our men's group creates space for honest conversation, emotional reflection, and thoughtful guidance. It is a place where men can ask questions, talk openly, and consider how they want to move forward—whether they are processing their own emotions or looking for ways to support a partner. Some come feeling differently than their partner or unsure of what they feel at all, but want space to understand their role. Wherever you are coming from and whatever you are feeling, you are welcome here.

No matter what your story looks like, both the women’s and men’s groups offer the same foundation: a place to reflect, connect, and take the next step in your own time.

The Benefits of a Post-Abortion Support Group

A Safe Space to Reflect

Talking about an abortion experience can feel difficult. Maybe you have kept your feelings private, or maybe you have shared with someone but still feel alone in what you are carrying. A Hope Meetup offers space where you do not have to hold those thoughts by yourself.

In this group, there is no expectation to explain or justify your experience. You are free to share as much or as little as you want. Every story is unique, and every response is valid. Some people find comfort in speaking. Others prefer to listen and reflect.

However you choose to participate, you will be met with kindness, respect, and understanding.

Tools for Emotional Well-Being

Some emotions are easy to name, while others may feel tangled, distant, or hard to describe. In a support group, you have space to recognize and name what is coming up for you and explore it in a way that feels manageable.

Through guided conversations and reflection, you may begin to:

Name emotions that feel difficult to express
Learn self-care practices that support your well-being
Work through thoughts that may feel confusing or heavy
Gain perspective on how to move forward with greater peace

These tools are meant to meet you where you are. There is no rush and no pressure. You are free to move at your own pace.

Connecting with Others Who Understand

One of the most powerful parts of a support group is realizing that you are not alone . Many people feel isolated in their emotions until they hear someone else speak words that reflect their own experience.

Whether you choose to share your thoughts or simply listen, there is comfort in being with others who understand. A Hope Meetup offers the chance to feel seen, supported, and encouraged by people who are walking a similar path.

Steps Toward Growth and Restoration

Healing is a process of reflection, growth, and care. It often begins by creating space to explore your experience and what it means to you now. Over time, that space can help you move forward with greater peace, strength, and clarity.

In our Hope Meetups , conversations are shaped around themes that support emotional well-being and personal growth. Some of the topics include:

Understanding and processing grief
Recognizing and challenging negative self-talk
Learning healthy ways to cope with emotions
Exploring self-worth and identity
Processing relationship changes after an abortion

These conversations are meant to offer clarity and encouragement. Wherever you are in your journey, you are free to take the next step when you are ready.

How to Join a Hope Meetup

Hope Meetups are free and take place online through Zoom, so you can join from wherever you feel most comfortable.

To get started, visit AvailNYC.org to explore upcoming sessions. If you would like one-on-one support before joining a group, you are welcome to schedule a private appointment with a personal advocate . We are here to support you in whatever way feels right for you.

You Are Not Alone

If you are struggling with emotions after an abortion experience, support is available. You do not have to figure it all out on your own.

A post-abortion support group can provide encouragement, clarity, and a path toward healing. Whether you are looking for a place to share or simply want to listen, Hope Meetups at Avail offer a space where you can begin moving forward with confidence and peace.

Hope Meetups at Avail provide a space where you can explore healing at your own pace. Whether you are ready to share your story or prefer to listen, you will be welcomed and supported every step of the way.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

How to Make a Confident Decision About an Unplanned Pregnancy

Sat, 14 Jun 2025 19:39:48 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

When life changes quickly, it can feel like the ground beneath you has shifted. If you recently found out you are pregnant and were not expecting it, you may be wondering what to do next or how to even begin thinking about your options. Whatever you are feeling, take a moment to remember this: you are not alone.

At Avail , we offer free and confidential support for women and men navigating an unexpected pregnancy. Whether you need space to process, a quiet moment to reflect, or someone to listen, we are here to walk with you.

You do not need to figure everything out all at once. Simply reading, breathing, and showing up for yourself today is a meaningful place to begin.

You Can Take the Time You Need

When you are facing an unexpected pregnancy , it can feel like you have to make a decision right away. That pressure might come from your own thoughts or from people around you. It is common to feel a sense of urgency, but that does not mean you have to rush your next steps.

Taking time to pause and reflect can help you catch your breath. It’s not about avoiding what’s happening, but about giving yourself space to think more clearly. A quiet walk, writing down your thoughts, or sitting in a peaceful space can help you feel more steady and remind you that it is okay to move at your own pace.

Slowing down creates space to listen to yourself and take the next step that feels right for you. If you are curious about how slowing down can support your decision-making, you can read more in Why Slowing Down Can Actually Change Everything .

Your Voice and Values Matter

When you are making a difficult decision, one of the most supportive things you can do is focus on what matters most to you. That might sound simple, but when emotions run strong, it can feel hard to reconnect with your values or hear your own voice clearly.

Here are a few questions to gently reflect on:

What do I hope my life reflects five years from now?
What kind of support would help me feel more steady and clear?
Who in my life listens with care and gives me space to think freely?

You do not have to figure it all out right away. If those questions feel hard to answer, you are not alone. We are here to listen and support you as you think things through, one step at a time. Talk with an advocate today .

Exploring Your Options Without Pressure

Deciding what to do next can feel overwhelming. You may be thinking about different options —like parenting, abortion, or adoption—and trying to understand what each one could mean for your life. These are deeply personal choices, and it is normal for them to feel complicated. You do not have to have everything figured out right away.

Our team of expert advocates at Avail is not here to tell you what to choose. We offer a safe, confidential space where you can talk openly, ask questions, and take the time you need to think things through. Our role is to support you as you explore your options and decide what feels right for you.

You will also have access to tools and resources to guide your reflection and decision-making. Some are designed to help you process your thoughts and connect with your values. Others offer practical information based on what you are considering. Everything we offer is tailored to your unique situation, so you can move forward with a greater sense of clarity and confidence.

What to Do When You Feel Stuck

Sometimes it’s hard to know what to do when you feel stuck . When everything feels uncertain, even small, everyday decisions can feel overwhelming. But you don’t have to sort it all out at once. Starting with just one or two simple steps can help you move forward.

Ask yourself: What are two things I need right now?

That might be a break from your phone, a quiet place to sit, or a moment to check in with someone you trust. It could also mean creating a little space from voices that are adding pressure or confusion. Whatever you choose, let it be something that feels right for you.

These small steps are not insignificant. Taking care of yourself in simple ways can bring a sense of steadiness, even when things feel uncertain. You may not have all the answers right now, but you are still moving forward. Support is available to walk with you as you take the next step.

Making Space for Grief and Growth

Grief is something many people experience when facing an unexpected pregnancy, even before a decision is made. You may be grieving the life you thought you would have, the sense of control you felt, or the uncertainty that change can bring.

It can take many forms, and it doesn’t always come with clear reasons or timing. You don’t need to explain it or push it away. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s okay to give it some room.

Clients sometimes tell us they feel a sense of relief when they’re given space to freely name what they’re carrying. Grief doesn’t need to be fixed or rushed away. It can be part of how we process change , and part of how we stay connected to what matters most.

With time, some people begin to notice moments of insight or resilience they didn’t expect. However it unfolds for you, you don’t have to face it alone.

Confidence Doesn’t Require Certainty

You may not feel completely sure about what to do next. That’s okay. It can be difficult to feel confident when faced with a big decision. But moving forward with confidence doesn’t always mean having every answer. Sometimes it simply means taking a step that reflects your core values and the time you’ve taken to think things through.

Some decisions come together over time. They may start with a conversation, a question, or even a quiet moment of reflection. The more space you create to process, the clearer things can become.

If you’re looking for support as you sort through your next steps, Avail is here for you . You can meet with an advocate to talk through what’s on your mind, ask questions, weigh your options, or just take some time to think out loud. There’s no pressure. Just support that’s tailored to what you need.

What to Expect When You Meet With an Advocate

Whether you're exploring your options or just want to learn more about the kind of support we offer, here’s what a typical appointment can include:

A calm, private space. You can meet with an advocate in person at our Midtown Manhattan office or connect through a secure virtual session. Both settings are completely confidential.
A conversation that’s centered on you. You'll have the opportunity to talk with a trained personal advocate. They’re there to listen, ask thoughtful questions, and offer tools that can help you process your thoughts and explore your options.
Support without pressure. There’s no script or agenda. The conversation can focus on what’s most important to you — whether that’s information, clarity, or simply being able to talk things through.

Reaching out can feel like a big step. You don’t have to have it all figured out to begin the conversation. Sometimes, just having a quiet space to think things through with someone who’s fully present can make a meaningful difference.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Not Ready to Be Pregnant? Explore Your Options

Sat, 07 Jun 2025 15:12:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Finding out you're pregnant at a time that feels difficult or unexpected can bring a whirlwind of emotions. You might be feeling overwhelmed, uncertain, or even numb—and all of that is valid. Whether this came as a complete shock or you had a feeling before you saw the test result, it’s okay to not have all the answers right now.

At Avail , we offer a calm and supportive space where you can pause, process what you're feeling, and consider your next steps without pressure. You don’t have to carry this alone. Support is here. Whatever you're feeling, and wherever you are in your journey, you are not alone.

Unplanned Pregnancy Options

When you're facing an unexpected pregnancy , it can be hard to know where to begin. You might have a sense of what you feel is best, or you may still be sorting through a mix of thoughts and emotions. Giving yourself time to explore each option and consider what it could mean for your life can help you move forward with greater clarity and confidence.

Avail is here to walk with you as you consider your next steps.

Parenthood

Parenting may feel like a big step, especially if the timing or circumstances aren’t what you expected. You might be wondering how you would manage, or what kind of support would be available to you.

You don’t have to figure that out alone. Our team of trained advocates at Avail can help you explore what parenting might look like in your situation and talk through the emotions, questions, and practical details that come with it. We also offer connections to local resources and ongoing support in New York City and around the country, so you don’t have to navigate this on your own.

Whether you're single or partnered, just exploring this path can be a meaningful way to discover what’s possible.

Adoption

Adoption allows you to make a thoughtful plan for your child’s future if parenting doesn’t feel like the best choice for you. It gives you the opportunity to create a plan that reflects your hopes and vision for your child's future, while setting boundaries and expectations that feel comfortable to you.

Adoption is different from foster care. While foster care is often arranged by the state and may be temporary, adoption is a permanent legal process that places a child with a family of your choosing. As the birth parent, you can decide what level of contact you’d like to have, if any. Some people choose ongoing updates or visits, while others prefer more privacy. What matters most is what feels right to you.

If you're curious about how adoption works or what choices you would have along the way, you can talk it through with someone who will listen and support you at Avail. You can also read more in our blog, I'm Pregnant and Considering Adoption , which answers common questions and shares what this process can look like.

Abortion

Some people consider abortion when they feel overwhelmed, unsupported, or unsure about continuing a pregnancy. Others may feel clear that they are not ready to parent right now. Whatever your situation, abortion is a personal decision, and it’s okay to have mixed emotions as you think it through.

There are different types of abortion , and your options may depend on how far along the pregnancy is and where you live . If you're exploring this path, it may be helpful to understand what’s involved, what questions to ask, and what you might experience afterward. You don’t have to make this decision alone. Talking with someone in a safe and confidential space can help you find clarity and peace about what feels right for you.

If you’ve already had an abortion and are experiencing emotions you didn’t expect, you are not alone. At Avail, we offer one-on-one support as well as a peer-based meetup where you can connect with others who are processing similar experiences. Whether it’s days, months, or even years later, we’re here to walk with you.

You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone

No matter what you're considering—parenting, adoption, or abortion—this is your story, and you deserve the space to make a decision that reflects your values, your needs, and your hopes for the future.

If you're feeling uncertain or overwhelmed, you don’t have to sort through everything on your own. Our highly trained Avail advocates are here to offer personalized, one-on-one support in a safe, confidential, and judgment-free setting. We’ll listen with care, help you process what you're feeling, talk through your options, and connect you with support that’s tailored to your specific needs and situation.

Whether you already know what you want to do or are still exploring what’s possible, we’ll meet you with compassion and respect right where you are. You are not alone. Support is available.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

What to Expect from Support at Avail

Sat, 31 May 2025 12:15:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Reaching out for support can feel like a big step, especially when you are carrying something personal, emotional, or uncertain. You might be wondering what kind of space you are walking into, what you will be asked to share, or whether you will feel truly heard.

At Avail , we understand how vulnerable this moment can be. That is why everything we do is designed to help you feel safe, supported, and in control of your own experience.

Whether you are navigating an unexpected pregnancy or processing an abortion experience , we are here to walk with you. You do not have to do this alone.

Choosing the Right Appointment for You

We support both women and men, and we offer appointments in both English and Spanish.

Some people come to talk through a pregnancy decision. Others come to reflect on an abortion experience. And some are not quite sure what they need, but know they want support. That’s okay too.

You can choose the appointment format that feels most comfortable to you. Meet with an advocate in person at our Midtown Manhattan office, schedule a video session on Zoom, or start a confidential conversation over text. Every appointment is one-on-one and centered on your needs.

Scheduling Your Appointment

Booking is simple and secure. We ask for a few basic details, including your name, email, and phone number, so we can confirm your appointment and send reminders. Your information is kept completely private. We never share it, and we will only contact you about your appointment.

Once you choose a time that fits your schedule, we will match you with a trained advocate who will walk with you through whatever you are facing. Every advocate at Avail is compassionate, respectful, and ready to listen without judgment.

Before Your Appointment

You do not need to prepare anything ahead of time. Your advocate will meet you exactly where you are, whether you are feeling overwhelmed, unsure, emotional, or simply curious about what support looks like. All you need to do is show up.

If you are feeling nervous before your appointment, know that many people feel the same way. Taking a first step toward support can bring up all kinds of emotions. Be proud of the courage you have already shown. Giving yourself the space to talk and reflect is a sign of strength.

Here are a few things that may help you feel more at ease:

Take care of yourself. Give yourself the space and time you need to rest, hydrate, and breathe. Grabbing a snack or going for a short walk can help release some of the tension you might be carrying. A little self-care can go a long way in helping you feel more grounded.
Decide who, if anyone, you want by your side. Some people prefer to come alone. Others bring a partner, friend, or family member. If you are bringing a partner and would like support for them as well, we can provide a male or female advocate to meet with them separately.

This time is for you. You are in control of what you share and how you show up. We are here to walk with you every step of the way.

What to Expect on the Day of Your Appointment

Whether you are meeting in person, over video, or through text, your comfort is our priority. From the moment your appointment begins, your only job is to show up as you are.

Before your appointment, you may receive a text reminder with a brief intake form. Completing it in advance can help your advocate prepare to support you well. If you are not able to fill it out beforehand, your advocate will walk through everything with you during your session.

If you come to our Midtown Manhattan office , you will be welcomed into a peaceful, private space. After a brief check-in, you will be offered tea or water and given time to settle in before you begin.

If your appointment is online, you can join from any space that feels quiet and safe. Some people call from their living room, their car, or while taking a walk. You are welcome to leave your camera off if that helps you feel more comfortable.

Texting appointments are another option if that feels like the best fit for you. Whatever format you choose, we will meet you with the same care and respect.

Connecting with Others Who Understand

During the Conversation

Your appointment will last 45 minutes, and you will be able to share with your advocate what you prefer to talk about.

Most conversations begin with a few gentle questions, such as “How are you feeling today?” or “What brought you to Avail?” From there, your advocate will follow your lead. Some people share openly. Others ask a few questions or need support to make sense of what they are feeling. Whatever you need, this space is for you.

Your advocate is trained to offer both emotional and practical support. Whether you are considering parenting, abortion, or adoption, or reflecting on a past abortion experience, they will help you explore your thoughts in a way that honors your values and priorities. Our priority is making sure you know you are not alone.

We serve both women and men. If you are a man seeking support—for yourself or as a partner—we can match you with a male advocate who understands what you may be carrying. Your story matters, and you are welcome here.

After Your Appointment

Taking time to talk with someone takes courage. Whether you leave your appointment feeling lighter, still processing, or unsure of what comes next, know that all of those feelings are valid.

Before you go, your advocate may offer a few suggestions for next steps. You might choose to schedule another appointment, take some time to reflect, or explore other resources. Everything is up to you.

If continued support feels helpful, we offer one-on-one follow-up appointments and ongoing after-abortion support. Your advocate can also connect you with trusted community resources based on your needs and situation.

This conversation is one part of your journey, not the whole story. You are welcome to return anytime, and we will be here when you are ready.

What Makes Avail Different

Avail is a safe place for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion experience. We are not a medical provider, and we are not political. We offer compassionate, confidential care in a space that is free from pressure and full of support.

Our advocates are trained to listen with empathy, honor your values, and walk with you at your pace. You are never expected to have the answers. We are here to help you explore your thoughts and feelings with clarity and confidence.

We believe your story matters. We believe you have the strength to face this moment with courage. And we believe that you should never have to face this alone.

Every appointment is free, and everything you share is kept private. Whether you come once or return for continued care, you are always welcome her e.

Let's Begin Together

Whatever brings you to Avail, we’re here to listen and support you. You can take things one step at a time, and you don’t have to navigate this on your own.

If you’re looking for a calm, supportive space to talk, we’re here when you’re ready.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Need a Free Ultrasound? What You Should Know First

Sat, 24 May 2025 00:07:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Searching for a free ultrasound often happens during a moment filled with big questions and strong emotions. If you are feeling unsure, overwhelmed, or simply trying to understand your next step, it is okay to pause. You are not alone, and support is available.

Many people searching for a free or low-cost ultrasound are also facing an unexpected pregnancy and wondering what to do next. You may be gathering information, sorting through your options, or looking for someone safe to talk with. You do not have to carry that on your own.

While Avail does not provide ultrasounds or medical care, we offer free, confidential one-on-one support over Zoom and text. Our trained care experts can walk with you as you consider your next steps and, if helpful, point you toward trusted third-party medical providers in your area who may offer free or low-cost ultrasounds.

Why you might consider an ultrasound

After a positive pregnancy test from a medical provider or at home, an ultrasound is often one of the next steps a doctor may recommend. An ultrasound can help determine how far along a pregnancy is and whether it is developing in the uterus. In some cases, it may also identify concerns that need follow up care from a licensed medical professional.

Beyond medical information, many people find that having clearer answers helps ease some of the mental weight they are carrying. When everything feels uncertain, even a small amount of clarity can make the situation feel more manageable.

According to the Cleveland Clinic, ultrasounds are commonly performed around seven to eight weeks from the last menstrual period. A medical provider can explain what the results mean and what options may be available based on that information.

How to find a free or low-cost ultrasound near you

Free or low-cost ultrasounds are sometimes available through:

Community health centers
Pregnancy resource centers
Hospital-based programs or public health clinics
Local nonprofits that offer reproductive health services

Availability can vary based on location, gestational age, and whether a medical provider recommends the scan. If you are searching online for a free ultrasound near you, be sure to check whether the provider offers licensed medical care and whether results will be shared with you during your visit.

You deserve clear information and care that respects your values and needs.

How Avail can support you

No matter where you live, you can meet with one of our care experts from anywhere in the country. Our appointments are offered via Zoom or text, giving you a safe, confidential space to talk through what you are feeling and what matters most to you.

Our care experts are trained to listen without judgment. They do not offer medical services or ultrasounds, but they can help you reflect on your options, connect with resources, and feel less alone in the process.

If you are looking for a free or low-cost ultrasound, we can help you think through what to look for in a provider and what kinds of questions you may want to ask during your appointment.

You can share as much or as little as you are comfortable with. There is no pressure, only support.

What to expect when you talk with a care expert

Reaching out for support can feel like a big step, especially if you are not sure what to expect. At Avail, every conversation is built on trust, privacy, and compassion.

When you connect with a care expert over Zoom or text, here is what you can expect:

A safe, judgment-free space. You are welcome to share as much or as little as you like. There is no pressure, no agenda, and no expectation to have everything figured out.
Someone who listens first. Our care experts are trained to listen with empathy and respond with kindness. You will never be rushed or talked over.
Support that centers you. You get to set the pace. Whether you want to process emotions, talk through practical options, or just ask questions, we are here to walk with you.
Confidential conversations. What you share stays private. Our care is always free and centered on your values and emotional well-being.

You do not have to face this alone. Whether you are exploring options, looking for a free ultrasound, or simply need someone to talk to, we are here to support you. Talking with a care expert can bring clarity, calm, and connection during a time that may feel overwhelming. Wherever you are in your journey, Avail is a safe place to pause, reflect, and take your next step with confidence.

You are not alone

An unexpected pregnancy can bring up more questions than answers. You may feel unsure, conflicted, or overwhelmed. That is okay. Big decisions do not have to be made all at once.

You deserve time, space, and support to consider what is best for you. Having someone walk with you can help bring a sense of steadiness in the middle of uncertainty.

Whether you are looking for a free ultrasound or simply need someone to talk to, Avail is here for you.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Arianna's Story: From Silent Shame to Finding Support

Sat, 17 May 2025 19:44:15 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

*Names changed for confidentiality.

Arianna was working hard and pursuing her master’s degree when she found out she was pregnant. In that moment, she remembers feeling both pride and shame.

“My family would have been so disappointed to know I was pregnant,” Arianna explains. “I'm the one my aunts will call to have me talk with my younger cousins when they are off track.”

She worried that if her family knew, they would stop looking up to her. She was used to being the one others turned to—now, she wasn’t sure who she could turn to herself.

A Long Wait and a Heavy Room

At eleven weeks, Arianna decided to have an abortion. She found a Planned Parenthood nearby and arrived at 8 a.m., only to find the waiting room packed.

“It made me feel like, ‘This is normal, I'm dramatizing my feelings.’”

But as the day went on, the experience felt anything but normal.

“Finally, I was placed into another room in a hospital gown with other women. I could feel the despair in the room. I started talking with the woman next to me who was fourteen weeks pregnant and crying. It was upsetting."

“After the abortion, I just remember holding my stomach and feeling empty."

After leaving, Arianna went to a nearby park and walked in circles for hours, crying.

“I stood in front of the swing set and thought about what life would have looked like with a child. I felt like I'd rewritten my own future, but I didn't want to burden any family or friends by telling them about my abortion.”

The Silence Afterward

For a month, Arianna didn’t tell anyone about her abortion except her boyfriend. But the weight of silence became too heavy.

“I was so scared to tell my family due to fear, but now I was just filled with shame."

She also realized she had nowhere to process what she was feeling. Her relationship felt strained. She resented her boyfriend for not voicing an opinion, and she felt emotionally stuck.

Finding a Place to Process

That’s when Arianna found Avail and met with an advocate. Through that relationship, she began to open up and process her experience.

With support, she started to reflect on her emotions and look toward the future with new strength and perspective.

You Don't Have to Carry This Alone

At Avail, we understand that emotions after an abortion experience can be complicated. You may feel grief, relief, uncertainty, or a mix of many things—and no matter what you’re feeling, you don’t have to face it alone.

We offer free, confidential support in a judgment-free environment. You can talk with a personal advocate one-on-one or join a small group of women or men navigating similar journeys through our weekly Meet-Ups .

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

*Names changed for confidentiality

8 Ways to Support a Friend Through an Unplanned Pregnancy

Sat, 10 May 2025 18:46:21 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

When someone close to you shares that she’s pregnant and it wasn’t planned, it can feel like the moment stands still. You may be caught off guard, unsure of what to say, or how to show up.

In that moment, your presence matters more than your words. You don’t need to have the perfect thing to say. Just being there with a listening heart can be one of the most powerful gifts you can offer.

Start with Listening, Not Fixing

Sometimes we jump into problem-solving mode because we want to help. But this isn’t a problem to solve. It’s a deeply personal experience she’s living through that comes with a mix of complex emotions.

Instead of offering quick answers, focus on genuinely listening. Listening with compassion shows her that she’s not alone and doesn’t have to have everything figured out right away.

You can offer gentle, open-ended questions to create space for her voice:

“How are you feeling right now?”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“It’s okay to feel however you’re feeling.”

These phrases let her take the lead. She might want to talk, or she might just need someone to sit beside her. Either way, your presence matters.

Avoid Comparisons and Assumptions

Even if you’ve walked through something similar, her experience is unique. It’s natural to want to share your own story in an effort to connect, but sometimes that can unintentionally make her feel like there’s a “right” or expected way to respond.

What she needs most is space to name what she’s feeling without comparison, pressure, or expectation.

If she’s unsure how to begin, it’s okay to ask something like, “How are you feeling about everything right now?” or “What’s been going through your mind since you found out?”

Sometimes just being asked opens the door. Saying things like “That makes sense” or “It sounds like this feels really heavy” can show her that you’re really listening. As she processes out loud, your steady presence can help her begin to move through the initial shock toward something more grounded and clear.

Be Mindful of Your Reactions

It’s natural to feel surprised, worried, or even emotional yourself. But she needs to feel safe, not responsible for your response. If you’re unsure how she feels, it’s okay to pause and ask gently, “Do you want to talk about what this means for you?”

Try to hold off on any strong reactions until you have a better sense of how she’s processing the news . Your calm presence can create a sense of stability when she might feel like the ground has shifted.

Offer Practical Support, but Let Her Lead

If she’s unsure what to do next, there are meaningful ways you can support her without taking over. You can offer to go with her to an appointment, look up information, or just sit with her while she figures out what to do next.

Instead of saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” try something more specific:

“Would it help if I looked up local doctors with you?”
“I can come with you to the appointment, if you’d like.”
“Would it help to talk with someone trained to support you?”

Avail’s advocates are available for free, confidential conversations if she wants a safe place to process.

Ask What Support Feels Like to Her

One of the most meaningful things you can do is ask her what kind of support feels right. You don’t have to guess. Just saying, “What would help right now?” or “How can I be here for you today?” creates space for her to name what she needs, even if the answer is small or uncertain.

She might not know yet, and that’s okay. Or she might surprise you with something simple, like wanting to sit quietly or talk about something completely unrelated. When you ask, you’re reminding her that her voice still matters and that she doesn’t have to carry everything alone.

Respect Her Privacy

This is her story to share. Don’t tell anyone else unless she asks you to. If she’s feeling anxious about telling others, you can offer to be there with her when she shares the news. But always let her take the lead.

Even casual conversations about her situation should be off-limits unless she’s given you permission. Your respect for her privacy builds trust and lets her know she’s safe with you.

Help Her Slow Down and Process

In moments of uncertainty, it’s common to feel rushed to make a decision. But slowing down can create space to think clearly . You can gently encourage her to take the time she needs to reflect on her feelings, values, and hopes for the future.

Let her know that whatever she’s feeling is valid. Emotions don’t have to be sorted out right away. What matters is that she has room to process, not pressure to decide.

This guide to exploring options might help if she’s feeling overwhelmed.

Know That Support Isn’t Just One Conversation

Support doesn’t begin and end with the first time she shares the news. This may be something she continues to process for days, weeks, or longer. What she feels today might shift tomorrow.

Let her know you’re still there by checking in now and then. A quick message, a gentle question, or just showing up without a big agenda can go a long way. You don’t need to bring up the pregnancy every time. Simply being someone who stays close, even as things change, can mean more than you realize.

The Best Support Comes from Being Present

You don’t need to have all the answers. You don’t have to say the perfect thing. The most powerful thing you can do is be present and available. Check in on her. Offer to sit with her. Let her know she’s not alone.

And if she’s open to it, help her connect with someone who can support her further. Talking with a personal advocate can help her take the next step in a way that feels right to her.

Support is Available for Both of You

You do not have to have the perfect words or know all the answers to be a good friend and supporter. What matters most is that she feels supported and not alone. And if you are feeling unsure yourself, it is okay to seek support too.

Avail is here for both of you. Our trained advocates offer a safe and confidential space to talk, ask questions, and explore next steps. Whether your friend is ready to reach out or you want guidance on how to continue supporting her, help is available.

This is not something you have to figure out on your own. You can connect with an advocate and take the next step. Wherever you are in this process, we are ready to walk with you.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

At Home Pregnancy Tests: Accuracy, Timing, and Confidence

Sat, 03 May 2025 14:49:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

If you think you might be pregnant, you're probably looking for answers that feel clear and reliable. For many people, taking a home pregnancy test is the first step. But it can also come with questions. Which test should you choose? When should you take it? And how accurate are home pregnancy tests, really?

If that’s where your mind is right now, you’re not alone. This guide will walk you through how at-home pregnancy tests work, when they tend to be most accurate, and what to keep in mind as you take this next step.

At Avail, we support women and men navigating an unintended pregnancy or processing a past abortion experience. We are not a medical provider, but we are here to offer free, confidential emotional support.

How home pregnancy tests work

Home pregnancy tests are designed to detect a hormone called human chorionic gonadotropin , or hCG. Your body begins to produce hCG after a fertilized egg attaches to the lining of the uterus. According to healthdirect , this usually happens about six to twelve days after ovulation.

As hCG builds up in your system, it becomes easier for a test to detect. Most home pregnancy tests use a urine sample to check for this hormone. If hCG is present at a detectable level, the test will show a positive result.

This is why the timing of your test matters so much. The more time that has passed since a missed period, the more accurate the result is likely to be.

How accurate are at home pregnancy tests?

This is one of the most common questions people ask, and for good reason. When used as directed and taken after a missed period, most at home pregnancy tests are very accurate . But there are a few important things that can affect the result.

Factors that can influence accuracy:

How early you take the test
Whether your urine is diluted or concentrated
If the test is expired
How closely you follow the instructions

If you test too early, your body may not have built up enough hCG for the test to detect. This can sometimes lead to a negative result even if you are pregnant. That is why waiting until after a missed period is often recommended.

When should you take a pregnancy test?

If you are wondering when to test, you are not alone. According to the Cleveland Clinic, the most accurate time to take a home pregnancy test is usually after a missed period . Some brands offer early result tests that may work a few days sooner, but these tests may be less reliable that early on.

A few possible benefits of testing early:

You may feel more prepared to think through your next steps
You could have time to reach out for support or information
You might be able to adjust your lifestyle choices more quickly with your doctor’s input

Things to keep in mind:

A test taken early may not detect enough hCG yet, which could lead to a false negative.
A negative result might not be accurate if hCG levels are still low
Testing early may increase the need for repeat tests
Early positives can sometimes reflect a chemical pregnancy

If you test early and the result is negative but your period still does not come, it is okay to wait a few days and try again.

Choosing the best at home pregnancy test

There are a lot of options out there, and you do not have to overthink it. The best at home pregnancy test is one that feels easy for you to use, is within date, and matches what you need.

Here are a few things you might want to consider:

Sensitivity

Some tests are designed to detect lower levels of hCG and may give results a few days before a missed period. These are often labeled as early result tests.

Digital versus manual

Manual tests use lines or symbols. If those feel hard to read, you might prefer a digital test that simply says pregnant or not pregnant. Both types can be accurate when used correctly.

Cost

Affordable tests can still work very well, especially if you wait until after your missed period. In fact, waiting a few extra days often increases accuracy more than choosing a higher priced test.

Common questions about pregnancy test accuracy

Searching for early pregnancy testing information

If you have searched for things like early pregnancy tests or how accurate are at home pregnancy tests, you are not alone. These kinds of questions are incredibly common, especially if you are feeling unsure or overwhelmed. No matter where you live, the basics of how these tests work remain the same.

What matters most is understanding your timing, following the directions carefully, and giving yourself space to breathe through whatever this moment brings.

Support you can access from anywhere

Taking a pregnancy test or even deciding when to take one can bring up a lot of emotions. You might be feeling anxious, hopeful, uncertain, or all of the above. Whatever you are experiencing, it is valid. And you do not have to figure it out on your own.

At Avail, our trained care experts offer confidential emotional support through Zoom and text. You can connect from wherever you are. Whether you want to process what you are feeling, talk through your next steps, or simply hear a calm voice on the other end, we are here.

You are allowed to take this one step at a time. There is support available for you, and your voice matters. Start your journey with support.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Writing Your Way to Healing

Sat, 26 Apr 2025 12:15:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Journaling can be a gentle and powerful way to process emotions, especially after experiencing something complex and deeply personal. In times of reflection, writing can offer a private space to explore your thoughts without fear of judgment.

When you put words on paper, you create distance between yourself and your emotions, allowing you to step back and gain perspective. This process can bring clarity, help you recognize patterns in your healing, and remind you of your own resilience.

There is no right or wrong way to journal. What matters most is giving yourself the freedom to be honest and open.

Why Journaling Can Be a Healing Tool

Writing is more than an act of expression. It can provide relief, create a sense of order, and help you process experiences that may feel overwhelming. Research suggests that journaling can lower stress, ease anxiety, and support emotional healing.

You do not need to be a skilled writer to benefit from journaling. The words do not have to be perfect, and the sentences do not need to be structured in a particular way.

Journaling may help you:

Create a safe and private space to express emotions.
Make overwhelming feelings feel more manageable.
Keep a record of thoughts that reveal patterns of healing and growth.
Reduce stress by giving emotions a place to be seen and acknowledged.

If you’ve never journaled before, you don’t have to start with a long entry. Even a single sentence or a few words can be meaningful.

How to Start Journaling

If you are unsure where to start, remember that there is no perfect way to journal. The best approach is the one that feels most natural to you.

Choose a Format That Feels Comfortable

Some people enjoy writing in a traditional notebook, while others prefer typing on a computer or using a journaling app. You might like making bullet points of your reflections or feelings, free-writing for unfiltered thoughts, or guided prompts when you need direction.

Whatever you choose, let it be a space that feels like yours.

Find a Space That Feels Safe

Journaling is most helpful when done in a quiet and comfortable setting. Some people prefer to write in the morning to set an intention for the day, while others like to reflect at night before bed. You can journal as often or as little as you need. There are no rules, only what feels right for you.

Be Honest With Yourself

Your journal is for you. There is no need to edit or filter what you write. Some days, emotions may feel messy or complicated, but putting them on paper can bring a sense of relief. Healing does not require perfection—just a willingness to acknowledge your emotions and give them space to exist.

Journaling Prompts to Support Healing

If you are unsure what to write about, prompts can provide direction. Consider starting with one of these questions:

What emotions have I been feeling lately, and how are they affecting me?
If I could write a letter to my past self, what would I say?
What are some things I want to let go of, and how can I begin that process?
How have I changed or grown since my abortion experience?
What are three things I am grateful for today?

You do not need to answer every question. Simply choose the one that resonates with you in the moment.

Navigating Common Challenges in Journaling

Journaling is not always easy. There may be days when you do not know what to write, and that is okay. If you feel stuck, start small. A single sentence, a list of emotions, or even a reflection on how your day is going can help your thoughts begin to flow.

If writing brings up strong emotions, take your time. There is no need to force yourself to process everything at once. Writing for just a few minutes or setting a small goal can help make journaling feel more manageable.

If consistency feels challenging, remember that there is no required schedule. Some people write every day, while others journal only when they feel the need. Even occasional journaling can be meaningful. If writing does not feel helpful, consider other creative ways to express yourself, such as voice recordings or drawing. The most important thing is to find what works for you.

You Are Not Alone

The process of healing doesn't always go as we expect, and there is no set timeline. Some days may feel lighter, while others bring more questions. Journaling can help you reflect, but healing also happens in connection with others. Talking with a trusted friend, mentor, or advocate at Avail can bring reassurance and comfort. Simply knowing that someone is there to listen can make a difference.

If certain emotions feel too heavy to process alone, that is okay. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Healing does not mean carrying everything by yourself. Whether through writing, talking, or taking small steps toward self-care, you are moving forward. You do not have to walk this path alone. Support is available, and you are worthy of care and understanding.

When You Are Ready to Talk, Avail Is Here

Journaling can be a meaningful way to process your thoughts, but sometimes speaking with someone who understands can be even more helpful. At Avail, compassionate advocates are here to listen and support you, whether online or in person.

You don't have to go through this alone.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

What to Expect from a Texting Appointment at Avail

Sat, 19 Apr 2025 12:15:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Reaching out for support can feel like a big step. Maybe you’re thinking about reaching out, but you're not ready to talk out loud just yet.

At Avail , you don’t have to figure everything out before starting a conversation. If you're looking for a private, low-pressure way to connect, a texting appointment might be the right place to begin.

In this post, we’ll walk through what a texting appointment is, how it works, and what to expect when you’re ready to take that next step.

What Is a Texting Appointment?

A texting appointment is a scheduled, one-on-one conversation with a trained personal advocate at Avail. It happens over text, at a time you choose.

When your appointment begins, your advocate will reach out by text to start the conversation. You’ll be texting with a real person—not a chatbot or automated system. Your personal advocate is trained to listen with care, offer support, and be present with you as you process what you're going through.

Your conversation is completely confidential and judgment-free. There’s no pressure to share more than you’re comfortable with. While your advocate will stay present throughout your scheduled time, you’re welcome to take a few moments to reflect or pause before replying. The pace is yours to set.

Why Choose to Text?

There are many reasons someone might choose to text instead of talk. You may not have a private space for a virtual meeting. You might find it easier to write than to speak. Or you could still be sorting through your thoughts and not sure where to begin.

Texting can give you space to reflect, take a breath, and express yourself in your own words. However you arrive here, know that texting can be a gentle way to start. You’re in control of what you share and when you share it.

What Happens During the Appointment?

Your texting appointment will last up to 30 minutes. When it begins, your personal advocate will reach out by text to start the conversation.

Throughout your appointment, your advocate will be there to listen, offer support, and help you think through whatever feels most important right now. There’s no script to follow and no expectation to have everything figured out. You can share what’s on your mind, ask questions, or simply use the space to process your thoughts.

Advocates are not medical experts. Advocates are, however, experts at providing emotional and practical support through this part of your journey.

Texting appointments happen during Avail’s regular business hours. Your advocate will stay with you for the full 30 minutes, even if there’s a pause in the conversation. You don’t have to rush. You can take a moment, gather your thoughts, and use the time in the way that feels most helpful to you.

What Can We Talk About?

You can use your texting appointment to talk about whatever’s on your mind. Some people come in with questions. Others just need someone to listen. There’s no pressure to have a plan or to say everything perfectly. This is your space to begin sorting through what matters most to you.

Here are a few things you might choose to talk about:

Exploring your options. If you’re facing an unexpected pregnancy and trying to figure out your next steps, your advocate can help you explore your options at your own pace. You don’t have to make any decisions during the appointment—this is simply a space to ask questions and process what you’re feeling.
Processing a past abortion experience. Maybe it’s something you haven’t talked about before, or something that’s been coming up again lately. You can share as much or as little as you want. Your advocate is there to walk with you, not to judge you.
Talking through emotions. You might be feeling overwhelmed, confused, numb, or unsure of what to feel. That’s okay. You don’t need to have clarity before you reach out. Naming what’s going on can be hard, and your advocate is there to help you make sense of it, one step at a time.

Whatever you bring to the conversation, your advocate will meet you with care, confidentiality, and respect. You’re not alone in this.

How to Schedule a Time to Text

Setting up a texting appointment is simple and 100% free. You can choose a time that works best for you, and we’ll take care of the rest.

When you're ready, here’s how to begin:

Click the “Schedule a Time to Text” button below.
Pick a time during our regular business hours.
Fill out a short form so your advocate knows how to reach you.

At the time of your appointment, your advocate will text you to begin the conversation. You don’t need to start the conversation or prepare anything in advance. You can bring whatever is on your mind. We’ll take it one step at a time.

Still Have Questions?

If you're thinking about scheduling but still have a few questions, you're not alone. Here are a few things people often wonder before booking a texting appointment.

If you’re wondering about something we haven’t covered here, you’re welcome to bring it with you to your appointment. Your advocate will meet you with care, answer your questions, and support you wherever you are in your process.

You Don’t Have to Go Through This Alone

At Avail , we understand how personal this moment can be. Whether you’re facing a decision, reflecting on a past experience, or simply trying to process your thoughts, you don’t have to do it alone.

Our trained advocates are here to offer support that’s confidential, compassionate, and completely judgment-free. A texting appointment is one way to begin that connection in a space that feels safe and manageable.

You can take this step in your own way, at your own pace. Texting gives you the freedom to start the conversation in a way that feels right for you.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Who Should I Talk to About My Unexpected Pregnancy?

Sat, 12 Apr 2025 15:31:35 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Finding out you’re pregnant—especially when you weren’t expecting it—can bring up a mix of emotions. You might feel overwhelmed, numb, uncertain, or unsure what to feel at all. Whatever you're feeling right now, know that you're not alone and you don’t have to figure everything out all at once.

One of the first questions many people ask themselves is: Who can I talk to about this?

You may not feel ready to share what you're going through. Or you may want to talk, but not know who feels safe. You might even be somewhere in between. All of these responses are completely valid. There’s no “right” way to react or feel. Give yourself permission to take your time to process and do what feels right for you.

Here are a few things to consider when choosing someone to talk to.

Someone Who Will Really Listen

When you’re processing something like an unexpected pregnancy, you need someone who will listen with care . A good listener doesn’t rush to give advice or speak over your experience. They give you space to feel, think, and take the conversation at your own pace.

They’re present with you, even in silence. They don’t need you to have all the answers, and they don’t expect your emotions to show up a certain way. Whether you're tearful, quiet, or still sorting out what you're feeling, they stay with you.

No one is a perfect listener, but try thinking back to conversations you've had with this person before. Do they usually listen without judgment? Do you feel heard and understood, even when you’re unsure of what to say? That’s a good sign they may be someone you can trust to talk to now.

Someone Who Knows You and Honors Your Values

In moments of uncertainty, it can help to reconnect with what matters most to you: your values, your goals, your sense of who you are. When everything feels unclear, your values can become an anchor—something steady to return to.

The right person won’t try to convince you of what they think is best. They won’t push you toward someone else’s idea of who you should be or do. Instead, they’ll make space for you to reflect on what feels true and meaningful for your life.

Have you talked with this person before about your hopes for the future or the things you care most about? Have they encouraged you when you’ve made choices that reflect your integrity, even when it was hard? That kind of support can make a real difference.

If you're still figuring out what your values are in this moment—or how to let them guide you—this blog on letting your values lead the way offers thoughtful questions and gentle encouragement to help you listen inward and move forward with clarity.

Someone Who Can Be Trusted With Your Story

Your experience is deeply personal, and it’s important to choose someone who can hold it with care . Not everyone knows how to do that.

Before opening up, think about how this person handles private conversations. Do they respect other people’s boundaries? Do they speak kindly about people who aren’t present? If they often share information that was told in confidence, they may not be the safest person to talk to right now.

You deserve support from someone who will honor your privacy and your trust.

Why Talking It Through Can Help

When you speak something out loud, it can often bring clarity. You might find that you already have a sense of what you want, but saying it helps it come into focus. Or you might realize you need more time to think, and that’s okay too.

Talking through an unexpected pregnancy isn’t about finding a perfect solution, it’s about making room for your voice. A supportive conversation can help you explore your thoughts, name what matters to you, and consider your next steps.

Even one safe conversation can make a meaningful difference.

If You're Not Sure Who to Talk To

If you’re having trouble thinking of someone who feels safe—or if you’d just like more support—you can always talk with a personal advocate at Avail .

Personal advocates are trained in compassionate, judgment-free listening. They won’t tell you what to do or rush you through your decision. Instead, they’ll walk with you as you process your emotions, reflect on your options, and figure out what’s next.

You can meet in-person at our Midtown Manhattan office or online via Zoom, and every conversation is confidential and free.

You don’t have to have everything figured out to talk with someone. You just need a place to begin.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

How Soon After Sex Can You Get Pregnant? What You Should Know

Sat, 05 Apr 2025 18:06:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

If you’ve recently had unprotected sex or something unexpected happened, it’s normal to feel a wave of emotions: worry, confusion, or even a quiet sense of uncertainty. You might be asking yourself, Could I be pregnant? or How soon would I even know?

Whatever you're feeling or wondering, you are not alone. And you don’t have to figure this out on your own.

At Avail , we offer a safe, confidential space to pause and find clarity. While we are not a medical provider, we can walk with you as you take the next step.

Pregnancy Doesn’t Happen All at Once

Many people think pregnancy happens right after sex. But the truth is, it takes time. Several things have to happen in your body before a pregnancy can begin. Understanding that process can help ease some of the pressure you may be feeling right now.

Here’s a simple overview of the key steps.

Step 1: Ovulation

Ovulation is when the body releases an egg from one of the ovaries. This usually happens once during each menstrual cycle. For many people, it takes place around the middle of their cycle, but the exact timing can vary from month to month. Things like stress, illness, or changes in routine can shift when ovulation happens.

According to the Mayo Clinic , the egg is available for fertilization for only 12 to 24 hours after it is released. However, sperm can live in the body for up to five days. That means even if sex happened a few days before ovulation, pregnancy may still be possible if sperm are still present when the egg arrives.

Step 2: Fertilization

Fertilization happens when one sperm joins with the egg. This usually takes place in a fallopian tube. It is a key step, but it does not mean a pregnancy has started yet.

The fertilized egg still needs to make its way to the uterus and attach to the uterine lining. That step is called implantation.

Step 3: Implantation

Implantation is when the fertilized egg connects with the lining of the uterus and begins to grow. This is the point when the body starts producing human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) , the hormone that pregnancy tests look for.

According to the Cleveland Clinic , implantation usually happens about six to ten days after ovulation. That’s why pregnancy tests are not always accurate right away. The body needs time before the hormone can be detected.

When Should You Take a Pregnancy Test?

If you’re wondering when to take a pregnancy test , the most helpful thing to know is that timing matters. Pregnancy tests work by detecting a hormone called hCG, which the body only begins to produce after a fertilized egg has implanted in the uterus. This step takes time. That’s why even if fertilization has happened, a test taken too early may not give you an accurate result.

For the most accurate result, wait until at least the first day of your missed period. If your cycle is irregular or you are unsure when your period is due, waiting at least one week after sex is often a good starting point.

Not Sure What You Need Right Now?

Maybe you're thinking ahead. Or maybe you're just trying to make it through today. Either way, it's okay to not have everything figured out.

You don’t have to make a decision right away. You don’t have to feel a certain way. You’re allowed to take this one step at a time.

Our team at Avail is here to offer a quiet space to think, to feel, or just to take a breath. You can talk with someone who will listen without judgment, support you without pressure, and help you explore what matters to you.

What We Offer at Avail NYC

At Avail, you can expect:

A confidential appointment with a trained Personal Advocate who is here to listen and support you
Referrals to trusted medical providers , if you want follow-up care or next steps

We don’t offer medical services, diagnoses, or advice. But we do offer time, space, and support for whatever you’re navigating.

You Are Not Alone

You are allowed to feel uncertain. You are allowed to ask questions. And you are allowed to take one small step at a time.

We’re here to walk with you, whatever your next step may be. Schedule your free appointment today.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

I Can’t Be Pregnant Right Now: What Are My Options?

Fri, 28 Mar 2025 18:55:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

"I was supposed to get my period last week, but it didn’t come. I figured it might be late, but now it’s been over a week, and I’m feeling anxious. I can’t be pregnant right now—what do I do now?"

If you’re wondering what to do next, you’re not alone. Many people experience a wide range of complicated, intense emotions when facing a possible pregnancy. You may be asking yourself what this means for your future, how it could affect your life, or who you can talk to about it.

No matter what you’re feeling right now, you are not alone. There is time and space to pause, process, and move forward in a way that feels right for you.

Step One: Pause & Check-in with Yourself

Right now, you might feel pressure to figure everything out immediately. Big decisions can feel overwhelming, especially when emotions are running high. But taking a moment to pause , breathe, and gather your thoughts can help bring clarity.

Ways to Find Calm in This Moment

Try deep breathing. Inhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds, exhale for four seconds, and repeat.
Write down your thoughts. Getting them out of your head and onto paper can help untangle emotions.
Move your body. A short walk, stretching, or listening to music can shift your focus.
Give yourself space. Stepping away from outside noise, even for a few minutes, can help you reconnect with what you need.

You don’t have to figure everything out right now. Taking a moment for yourself can bring the insight and reassurance you need to take your next step.

Step Two: Take a Pregnancy Test

If your period is late or your body feels different, it’s a good idea to take a early-detection pregnancy test . Testing can help bring clarity in a moment that may feel uncertain or overwhelming. You can take your time, choose a moment that feels right, and do it in a place where you feel safe.

Home tests are often easy to find at pharmacies and grocery stores, and they’re often a helpful first step. If your result is positive, following up with a healthcare provider can give you confirmation and space to ask any medical questions you may have.

Whether you’ve already taken a test or are thinking about taking one soon, you don’t have to process this alone. Speaking with a care expert at Avail can help you sort through your thoughts, name what you’re feeling, and consider what comes next.

Step Three: Explore Your Options

If your test is positive, you have options . There’s no need to make any big decisions today, and you don’t have to face this on your own. Your thoughts and feelings are valid, and you deserve the time and space to think through what’s best for you.

It’s okay to feel unsure or overwhelmed. Carving out even a few moments to slow down and reflect can help you connect with what’s most important to you. You might be thinking about your values , your relationships, your future, or simply how to make sense of what you're feeling right now.

At Avail, you’ll find a supportive space to talk things through with someone who listens. Our care experts are trained to help you explore your options without pressure or judgment.

This moment doesn’t define you. You are more than this decision, and support is available as you take the next step that feels right for you.

Step Four: Connect with a Care Expert at Avail

An unintended pregnancy can bring up a wide range of intense, complex, and changing emotions. But you don’t have to face them all on your own.

Having a safe space to talk can make a meaningful difference. Our care experts are here to listen with compassion and to walk with you at your pace. Whether you’re sorting through your emotions, asking questions, looking for resources, or simply needing someone to be present with you, we are here.

You don’t have to sort through this moment on your own. Support at Avail is always private and compassionate. You can meet with a care expert over Zoom or talk with us through text.

Step Five: Take Your Next Steps with Confidence

Feeling uncertain doesn’t mean you’re stuck. Clarity comes with time, and small steps can help you move forward with confidence. You’re not expected to have everything figured out today, and support is available as you process what comes next.

Talking through your thoughts with someone who listens can provide the space you need to process without pressure. If you have questions, you can take your time exploring your options in a way that feels right for you.

You don’t have to navigate this alone. Compassionate support, practical resources, and a safe space to process are available. Schedule time to connect with a care expert , completely free.

You Are Not Alone

No matter what you’re facing, you don’t have to go through it alone. Avail is a confidential, judgment-free space where you can process your emotions, ask questions, and explore your options with support.

You are not a burden. Your voice matters. And your next step can start here.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

How to Set Healthy Boundaries with Confidence During an Unexpected Pregnancy

Sat, 22 Mar 2025 12:15:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

An unplanned pregnancy can bring many emotions and questions. In the midst of it all, it can be difficult to find space to think clearly. You may feel the weight of others’ opinions, or you may simply need time to process your own thoughts.

If that sounds familiar, take a moment to take a deep breath. You are not alone.

In times of uncertainty, it’s okay to step back and create space for yourself. Setting boundaries is not about shutting people out. It is about making room to think, reflect, and decide what’s best for you.

At Avail , we provide a safe, confidential space where you can process your emotions and explore your options without judgment or pressure. You deserve support that truly honors your voice.

What Are Boundaries, and Why Do They Matter?

Boundaries help protect your emotional, mental, and physical well-being. They allow you to create space for what is most important to you, giving you the freedom to think clearly and make choices that reflect your needs and values .

A boundary can be as simple as deciding when and how you engage in conversations about your pregnancy. It can mean taking time before responding to outside opinions or choosing who you feel comfortable sharing with. Boundaries help you protect your emotional space so that you can process your thoughts in a way that feels right for you.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, know that you do not have to figure this out alone. You have the right to take the time and space you need , and we are here to support you along the way.

Common Challenges to Setting Boundaries During an Unintended Pregnancy

Setting boundaries can feel difficult, especially in moments of uncertainty . You may be facing outside opinions or personal expectations that make it hard to step back and find clarity. If you are struggling with this, you are not alone.

There are many reasons why setting boundaries might feel difficult. You may relate to some of these challenges:

Unsolicited Advice. Friends, family, or even acquaintances may assume they know what is best for you. Even when they mean well, their opinions may feel overwhelming, especially if they do not reflect what you need at this moment.
Pressure from a Partner. Your partner may have strong feelings and want to share their perspective. Even when they mean well, their urgency and input may feel overwhelming. If you need time to process, boundaries can help you create space for your own thoughts while keeping communication open .
Cultural or Religious Expectations. The values you were raised with may shape how you see this pregnancy. You may also feel pressure to meet the expectations of your family or community, even if they do not align with your personal feelings.
Workplace and Social Boundaries. You may not be ready to share with coworkers or friends, and that is okay. Deciding what to share and with whom is entirely up to you.
Internal Struggles. Guilt, fear, or self-doubt can make it hard to set boundaries. You may question whether it is okay to ask for space, but taking time to process your emotions is not selfish. It is necessary for making a decision that feels right for you.

If any of these challenges feel familiar, know that you are not alone. Many people find setting boundaries difficult. With time and practice, small steps toward protecting your emotional well-being can make a meaningful difference.

If you're feeling unsure about where to start, talking with an advocate can provide clarity and support as you take the next step.

Practical Boundaries for Emotional Well-Being

Communicating your needs may feel uncomfortable at first, but it is an important part of caring for yourself. Boundaries do not have to be harsh or confrontational. They are a way to create space for your thoughts and emotions when you need it most.

Here are some ways to set boundaries in real-life situations.

With Family and Friends. If their advice feels overwhelming, you might say, "I appreciate your concern, but I need time to process this in my own way."
With a Partner. If you need space to think, you might say, "I need time to understand my feelings before we talk about next steps."
With Healthcare Providers. If you want information without feeling pressured, you might say, "I would like to explore all my options in a way that feels best for me."
With Social Media and Public Conversations. You may choose to keep your experience private or limit what you share. You are not obligated to explain your journey or decision to anyone.

Expressing your needs is not always easy. Setting boundaries is a skill that takes time and practice, but the more you do it, the more confident you may feel. Even small steps can help you create the space you need.

You do not have to navigate this alone. Talk with an advocate at Avail for support as you process your emotions and find the words to communicate what feels right for you.

Overcoming Guilt and Fear in Setting Boundaries

It is not always easy to set boundaries , especially if you are not used to doing it. You may feel conflicted or worry about how others will respond. Guilt or discomfort can come up, but those feelings do not mean you are doing something wrong.

You might wonder, "Am I being selfish for asking for space?" or "What if someone gets upset when I set a boundary?"

With time, setting boundaries can become a source of clarity and confidence. Giving yourself space to process can help you feel more at peace and more in tune with what is right for you.

If you're struggling to express what you need, talking with an advocate can help. They can provide support as you process your emotions and find the words to communicate what feels right for you.

Finding Support While Honoring Your Boundaries

Not everyone may understand or respect your boundaries, which can make setting them feel even harder. However, you do not have to justify your choices to anyone who makes you feel pressured or unheard.

Surrounding yourself with the right support can make all the difference.

Look for people who:

Listen without pushing their own opinions
Offer support without judgment
Help you find clarity rather than confusion

If you’re looking for a safe space to talk and reflect, a trained advocate can help you process your emotions and explore your options. Support is available.

You Deserve to Be Heard

Your emotions and your voice matter. No one else can make this decision for you, and no one should make you feel pressured or unheard. Setting boundaries allows you to create the space you need to make the best choice for yourself.

You do not have to navigate this alone. Avail is here to provide a space where you can pause, breathe, and find clarity.

Talk with an Advocate Today

If you need a safe space to talk, schedule a free, confidential appointment with an advocate today. You do not have to have everything figured out to take the next step. You just need a place to begin, and support is available when you are ready.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Unexpected Pregnancy Advice for Men: What to Do Next

Sat, 15 Mar 2025 12:15:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Finding out about an unexpected pregnancy can be overwhelming. You may feel shocked, anxious, uncertain, or even hopeful—but no matter what emotions you’re experiencing, know that you don’t have to figure this out alone.

At Avail NYC , we understand that men have a role in this experience, and their feelings and concerns matter too. There are real, practical ways to step into this moment with clarity and confidence.

Whether you’re looking for guidance on how to support a partner, process emotions, or take next steps, the right tools and support can make a difference. If you’re feeling unsure about what to do next, read on to explore practical ways for you and your partner to navigate this moment.

1. First Steps: Processing the News

Take a Breath

Hearing the news of an unexpected pregnancy can feel overwhelming. The mind may start racing with "what-ifs" or worst-case scenarios, but pausing to process before reacting can help bring clarity.

Taking a deep breath and giving yourself space to think before responding can help you respond thoughtfully rather than react out of fear or uncertainty.

For additional tips on staying grounded, check out more unintended pregnancy tips for men .

Find a Trusted Space to Talk

Sorting through emotions and concerns is easier with the right support. Talking to a trusted friend, mentor, or advocate at Avail can provide perspective. Having an objective space to process thoughts and explore next steps without pressure or judgment can be invaluable.

Avail provides free, confidential conversations with male advocates who understand what it’s like to face this situation. Your advocate will walk with you through this experience, answer questions, and provide support in a confidential and compassionate environment.

There’s no need to figure everything out on your own. Schedule a time to talk with an advocate to regain control and find clarity for your next steps.

Track Your Thoughts

Taking time to track your thoughts helps clear your mind and reduce confusion. People often feel disoriented after learning unexpected news. Grab a pen and paper or your phone and map out what you are thinking about.

If you’re not sure where to start or what to say, consider the following questions:

What are the biggest concerns right now?
What practical steps would help bring peace of mind?
What kind of support is needed—both for self and for the partner?

Putting thoughts on paper can create clarity and reduce stress , making the next steps feel more manageable.

2. How to Have a Conversation with Your Partner

Healthy communication is one of the most powerful tools in this moment. Taking time to listen well and responding with care can help both you and your partner feel heard and supported.

Start with Listening

Before jumping into problem-solving, take time to listen to your partner’s thoughts and emotions. Many women in this situation feel a wide range of emotions, and knowing they are supported can be reassuring.

A few ways to create a safe space for conversation:

Use open-ended questions like, “How are you feeling about everything?”
Show engagement by saying, “I want to understand what’s on your mind.”
Reflect her words back to her: “It sounds like you’re feeling [emotion]. I hear you.”

Avoid Reactive Responses

Sometimes our initial response is not always our best response. While it's normal to feel a rush of negative emotions during a tense situation, staying calm and choosing our responses carefully can often lead to better outcomes in our relationships. If frustration or fear rises, taking a moment to regain a sense of calm before responding can help prevent misunderstandings or unnecessary conflict .

If you’re struggling to communicate clearly, an advocate can help you prepare for these conversations and offer guidance on how to express yourself in a way that strengthens your relationship. Men can also meet with someone on their own or together with their partner.

Taking time to process your thoughts before making decisions can bring clarity. Connect with a male advocate at Avail to explore your next steps in a safe space.

3. Understanding Your Role & Next Steps

No matter where you are in life, an unexpected pregnancy can bring up a lot of big questions. Where do you go from here? How do you support your partner? What comes next?

Get the Right Information

Having accurate information can bring peace of mind and help you make thoughtful, informed next steps. It’s important to find trusted resources that can help you and your partner explore your options without pressure.

Avail NYC offers free, confidential support for both men and women facing an unexpected pregnancy. Meeting with a male advocate can help you think through practical questions and develop a plan that aligns with your values and goals .

Make a Plan Together

Big decisions can feel less overwhelming when they’re broken into smaller, more manageable steps . If communication is open, discussing topics like the following can help both partners feel more secure:

Finances and budgeting
Emotional support systems
Personal goals and responsibilities

Having a clear plan can help both of you feel more equipped to move forward with confidence.

4. Practical Ways to Support Your Partner

Being supportive does not mean having all the answers—it means showing up and taking action where you can. Here are a few practical ways to support your partner through this time:

Offer to Accompany Her to Appointments (If She’s Comfortable): Even if she prefers to go alone, offering to be present shows commitment and care.
Help with Everyday Responsibilities: Pregnancy can be physically and emotionally exhausting. Helping with everyday tasks like groceries, errands, or household chores can relieve some of the stress.
Keep the Conversation Open: This usually isn’t a one-time conversation. Checking in regularly and offering ongoing support shows reliability and commitment.

Every situation is different, and an advocate can help you find the best ways to offer meaningful support. Schedule a free conversation with an advocate at Avail to help you prepare and process.

5. Taking Care of Your Well-Being

Many men feel pressure to stay strong, but suppressing emotions can lead to stress and anxiety. It is possible to stay strong without being weighed down by what you are feeling. Allowing yourself to feel is not a sign of weakness. It is the best way to remain strong when others need you.

Acknowledge Your Own Feelings

Whatever you’re feeling—uncertainty, fear, or even hope—it’s okay. Those are real and valid emotions. Recognizing your emotions is the first step toward managing them in a healthy way.

Find Support

You don’t have to carry this alone. Talking to someone who understands—whether a friend, mentor, or advocate—can help you process your emotions and find the clarity you need.

Avail NYC provides confidential support for men , so you have a safe space to talk and think through your next steps.

6. Remember that You’re Not Alone

No matter what this journey looks like for you, you are not alone. There is support, guidance, and a way forward. If you want a space to talk, process your emotions, or figure out your next steps, Avail NYC is here for you. You can meet with a male advocate for free and confidential support—whether in person or online.

Click below to schedule a conversation with an advocate today.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Consejos para hombres sobre embarazos inesperados: Qué hacer a continuación

Sat, 15 Mar 2025 12:15:00 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Descubrir un embarazo inesperado puede ser abrumador. Puede sentirse conmocionado, ansioso, inseguro o incluso esperanzado, pero independientemente de las emociones que experimente, sepa que no tiene que resolverlo solo.

En Avail NYC , entendemos que los hombres tienen un papel en esta experiencia, y que sus sentimientos y preocupaciones también importan. Hay formas reales y prácticas de afrontar este momento con claridad y confianza.

Tanto si busca orientación sobre cómo apoyar a un socio, proceso emociones o dar los siguientes pasos, las herramientas y el apoyo adecuados pueden marcar la diferencia. Si no está seguro de qué hacer a continuación, siga leyendo para explorar formas prácticas de que usted y su pareja superen este momento.

1. Primeros pasos: procesar las noticias

Respire

Recibir la noticia de un embarazo inesperado puede resultar abrumador. La mente puede empezar a pensar en los "y si..." o en los peores escenarios, pero hacer una pausa para procesar la situación antes de reaccionar puede ayudar a aclarar las cosas.

Respirar hondo y darse espacio para pensar antes de responder puede ayudarle a reaccionar de forma reflexiva en lugar de hacerlo por miedo o incertidumbre.

Para obtener más consejos sobre cómo mantener los pies en la tierra, consulta más embarazos no deseados consejos sobre para hombre .

Encuentre un espacio de confianza para hablar

Resolver las emociones y preocupaciones es más fácil con el apoyo adecuado. Hablar con un amigo de confianza, un mentor o un asesor en Avail puede aportar perspectiva. Disponer de un espacio objetivo para procesar los pensamientos y explorar los siguientes pasos sin presiones ni presiones.

juicio puede ser inestimable.

Avail ofrece conversaciones gratuitas y confidenciales con asesores masculinos que entender lo que supone enfrentarse a esta situación. Su asesor le acompañará en esta experiencia, responderá a sus preguntas y le proporcionará apoyo en un entorno confidencial y compasivo.

No es necesario que lo resuelva todo usted solo. Concierte una cita para hablar con un asesor para recuperar el control y encontrar claridad para sus próximos pasos.

Siga sus pensamientos

Tomarse tiempo para ordenar los pensamientos ayuda a despejar la mente y a reducir la confusión. La gente suele sentirse desorientada tras recibir una noticia inesperada. Coge papel y bolígrafo o el móvil y haz un mapa de tus pensamientos.

Si no sabes por dónde empezar o qué decir, plantéate las siguientes preguntas:

¿Cuáles son las mayores preocupaciones en este momento?
¿Qué medidas prácticas le aportarían ?
¿Qué tipo de apoyo se necesita, tanto para uno mismo como para la pareja?

Poner los pensamientos por escrito puede crear claridad y reducir el estrés , haciendo que los siguientes pasos parezcan más manejables.

2. Cómo mantener una conversación con su pareja

La comunicación sana es una de las herramientas más poderosas en este momento. Dedicar tiempo a escuchar bien y responder con atención puede ayudar a que tanto tú como tu pareja os sintáis escuchados y apoyados.

Empezar escuchando

Antes de lanzarse a resolver el problema, tómese su tiempo para escuchar los pensamientos y emociones de su pareja. Muchas mujeres en esta situación sienten una amplia gama de emociones, y

saber que cuentan con apoyo puede ser tranquilizador.

Algunas formas de crear un espacio seguro para la conversación:

Utiliza preguntas abiertas como: "¿Cómo te sientes con respecto a todo?ˮ.
Demuestre su compromiso diciendo: "Quiero entender lo que piensas".
Refleja sus palabras hacia ella: "Parece que estás sintiendo [emoción]. Te escucho.

Evitar respuestas reactivas

A veces, nuestra respuesta inicial no es siempre la mejor. Aunque es normal sentir un torrente de emociones negativas durante una situación tensa, mantener la calma y elegir cuidadosamente nuestras respuestas a menudo puede conducir a mejores resultados en nuestrorelaciones. Si surge la frustración o el miedo, tomarse un momento para recuperar la calma antes de responder puede ayudar a evitar malentendidos o conflictos innecesarios .

Si tiene dificultades para comunicarse con claridad, un asesor puede ayudarle a prepararse para estas conversaciones y ofrecerle orientación sobre cómo expresarse de forma que refuerza su relación. Los hombres también pueden reunirse con alguien solos o junto con su pareja.

Tomarse tiempo para procesar los pensamientos antes de tomar decisiones puede aportar claridad. Conecta con un asesor masculino de Avail para explorar tus próximos pasos en un espacio seguro.

3. Comprender tu papel y próximos pasos

No importa en qué momento de tu vida te encuentres, un embarazo inesperado puede plantearte muchas preguntas importantes. ¿Qué hacer a partir de ahora? ¿Cómo apoyas a tu pareja? ¿Qué viene después?

Obtenga la información adecuada

Disponer de información precisa puede aportarle tranquilidad y ayudarle a tomar decisiones próximos meditados e informados. Es importante encontrar recursos de confianza que puedan ayudarle a usted y a su pareja a explorar sus opciones sin presiones.

Avail NYC ofrece apoyo gratuito y confidencial tanto a hombres como a mujeres que se enfrentan a un embarazo inesperado. Reunirte con un asesor masculino puede ayudarte a reflexionar sobre cuestiones prácticas y a desarrollar un plan que se ajuste a tus valores y objetivos .

Planificar juntos

Las decisiones importantes pueden parecer menos abrumadoras cuando se dividen en pasos más pequeños y manejables . Si la comunicación es abierta, hablar de temas como los siguientes puede ayudar a ambos miembros de la pareja a sentirse más seguros:

Finanzas y presupuestos
Sistemas de apoyo emocional
Objetivos y responsabilidades personales

Tener un plan claro puede ayudar a ambos a sentirse más preparados para avanzar con confianza.

4. Formas prácticas de apoyar a su pareja

Apoyar no significa tener todas las respuestas, sino aparecer y actuar en la medida de lo posible.

He aquí algunas formas prácticas de apoyar a tu pareja en estos momentos:

Ofrézcase a acompañarla a las citas (si se siente cómoda): Aunque ella prefiera ir sola, ofrecerse a acompañarla demuestra compromiso y cariño.
Ayuda con las responsabilidades cotidianas: El embarazo puede ser física y emocionalmente agotador. Ayudar con las tareas cotidianas, como la compra, los recados o las tareas domésticas, puede aliviar parte del estrés.
Mantenga abierta la conversación: Normalmente no se trata de una conversación puntual. Comprobarlo con regularidad y ofrecer apoyo continuo demuestra fiabilidad y compromiso.

Cada situación es diferente, y un asesor puede ayudarle a encontrar la mejor manera de ofrecer un apoyo significativo. Programa una conversación gratuita con un asesor de Avail para que te ayude a prepararte y procesar.

5. Cuidar su bienestar

Muchos hombres se sienten presionados para mantenerse fuertes, pero reprimir las emociones puede provocar estrés y ansiedad. Es posible mantenerse fuerte sin dejarse agobiar por lo que se siente. Permitirse sentir no es un signo de debilidad. Es la mejor manera de permanecer fuerte cuando los demás te necesitan.

Reconozca sus sentimientos

Sienta lo que sienta-incertidumbre, miedo o incluso esperanza-está bien. Son emociones reales y válidas. Reconocer tus emociones es el primer paso para gestionarlas de forma saludable.

Buscar apoyo

No tiene por qué cargar con esto usted solo. Hablar con alguien que te entienda, ya sea un amigo, un mentor o un asesor, puede ayudarte a procesar tus emociones y a encontrar la claridad que necesitas.

Avail NYC ofrece apoyo confidencial a los hombres , para que dispongas de un espacio seguro en el que hablar y pensar sobre tus próximos pasos.

6. Recuerda que no estás sola

No estás sola, sea cual sea tu situación en este viaje. Hay apoyo, orientación y un camino a seguir. Si quieres un espacio para hablar, procesar tus emociones, o averiguar tus próximos pasos, Avail NYC está aquí para ti. Puedes reunirte con un asesor masculino para recibir apoyo gratuito y confidencial, ya sea en persona o en línea.

Haga clic a continuación para programar una conversación con un asesor hoy mismo.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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Navigating Blame-Shifting in Relationships

Sat, 01 Mar 2025 15:26:42 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Everyone deserves healthy relationships built on mutual respect, emotional safety, and a desire for mutual understanding.

This blog explores the destructive dynamics of blame-shifting, highlights its relevance to these situations, and offers tools to help you protect your emotional well-being, gain clarity, and seek the support you need and deserve.

What is Blame-Shifting?

Blame-shifting is a manipulative tactic that undermines emotional intimacy and safety in a relationship.

Have you ever attempted to raise a reasonable complaint, concern, or hurt, and suddenly, your partner twisted the conversation around, making you the one at fault? The offender’s motivation is to avoid accountability and responsibility by deflecting blame onto the innocent person. It often involves lying, denying, and manipulating the truth to maintain control and power. Essentially, it’s “blaming the victim.”

Blame-shifting distorts the truth and blocks the victim’s voice, making victims doubt themselves while they are placed on the hot seat, feeling they need to defend themselves. In circumstances like an unexpected pregnancy or a past abortion , blame-shifting can be especially painful.

For example:

A partner may blame you for the emotional or financial strain caused by an unplanned pregnancy in an attempt to reduce or remove the offender’s responsibility in the situation.
They might accuse you of selfishness or insensitivity for past decisions, rewriting your story to focus on your supposed shortcomings while the offender avoids accountability for their behavior.

Manipulation and unkindness, such as blame-shifting, can erode foundations of trust and care, leaving you confused, invalidated, overwhelmed, powerless, and stuck in a cycle of self-doubt and emotional distress .

Blame-shifting can be devastating, particularly for women navigating complex and deeply personal challenges like an unexpected pregnancy or the emotional aftermath of a past abortion experience. These moments can bring vulnerability, and when a partner responds with unkindness or manipulation, it compounds the difficulty.

DARVO: A Common Pattern

Blame-shifting often follows the DARVO pattern :

Deny: The abuser denies any wrongdoing.
Attack: They shift blame to the victim, accusing them of causing the problem.
Reverse Victim and Offender: The abuser reframes themselves as the victim while casting the actual victim as the offender.

For example, when confronted about harmful behavior, an abuser might say:

“I wouldn’t have done that if you weren’t always criticizing me.”

This tactic manipulates the victim and can also confuse outsiders, such as therapists, friends, or family, who, if uneducated on abusive dynamics, may mistakenly side with the abuser.

The Purpose of Blame-Shifting

Blame-shifting serves to:

Maintain control: The abuser keeps you in a downgraded position where you feel responsible for “fixing” the relationship.
Avoid accountability: Deflecting blame allows the abuser to avoid their part in conflicts.
Cause confusion: Repeated blame-shifting undermines your sense of reality, leaving you unsure of what’s true.

Recognizing Blame-Shifting

Blame-shifting is rarely a standalone behavior. It often overlaps with other covert tactics, such as:

1. Deflection

The abuser changes the topic or brings up irrelevant issues, often redirecting the conversation to the victim’s supposed faults. For example:

“What about the time you embarrassed me in front of my friends?”

2. Projection

The abuser accuses the victim of the very behavior the offender is guilty of. For instance:

“You’re always so angry,” while they ignore their own contributing actions and contempt towards you or rage.

3. Gaslighting

The abuser rewrites the narrative, causing the victim to doubt their memory or perspective. Gaslighting might include false accusations or twisting events to make the victim seem responsible for things they aren’t responsible for.

4. Scapegoating

The abuser misrepresents the victim’s actions or motives to others, such as family or friends, creating a smear campaign to isolate and discredit the victim.

The Emotional Toll of Blame-Shifting

Blame-shifting undermines the victim’s sense of self, leading to:

Self-doubt and cognitive dissonance: Victims may gaslight themselves, believing the abuser might be right despite knowing otherwise. They often feel confused, doubt their perceptions, and are unsure of their reality.
Emotional distress: Anxiety, depression, mood swings, and difficulty regulating emotions are common effects. The constant blame can lead to mental health struggles.
Isolation: Feelings of guilt and shame may discourage victims from seeking help, leaving them feeling alone and defeated.

When blame-shifting occurs repeatedly, victims may develop Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD) or Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) due to ongoing psychological harm. And if victims reach out for help and are dismissed or disbelieved, the trauma is exacerbated. This is called Double Abuse® , which adds another layer of harm to an already painful situation.

Steps to Respond to Blame-Shifting

If you are facing an unexpected pregnancy, support is available. Whether you’re considering an adoption or just wanting to explore and weigh your options, talking with a personal advocate at Avail NYC can offer clarity, resources, and connections for your next steps. Get support today.

1. Trust Your Instincts

Reclaim your reality. Pay attention to your physical reactions when blame-shifting occurs. Your body will give you signals even if your mind is slow to catch up, such as a pit in your stomach or a racing heart.

2. Recognize the Behavior

Spend some time familiarizing yourself with blame-shifting tactics such as DARVO, deflection, and projection. Learning in advance to recognize these covert behaviors will help you regulate your emotions and process what happened accurately to your situation. Not understanding these behaviors will leave you feeling blindsided, confused, and easily manipulated.

3. Document Incidents

Journal what was said to keep a record of incidents. This will help you maintain clarity and counter false narratives. Documenting how it made you feel in your body is also helpful, as it can provide clarity and validation.

4. Set Boundaries

If your physical safety is not a concern, define what you will and won’t tolerate, and communicate your boundaries assertively. For example:

“I will not engage in conversations where I am being unfairly blamed.”

If boundaries are repeatedly crossed, limiting or ending contact may be necessary to protect your emotional safety.

5. Avoid Explaining, Projection, or Denial

Trying to explain these concepts to an abuser is usually unproductive. Focus on protecting your well-being, educating yourself, and finding self-love instead of seeking validation from someone unwilling to take accountability. Making the mistake of seeking to be soothed by the same person harming your relationship doesn’t make good sense.

6. Seek Help and Support

Sharing your experiences with a trusted friend, counselor, or support group can help you process your emotions and gain perspective.

For professional help, seek a therapist or counselor who is well-trained in emotional and psychological abuse, especially related to pregnancy and abortion. Interview them before you hire them. Click here for more information on How to Choose a Therapist .

Build a support network of trusted friends, family, or support groups who understand and validate the victim’s experiences.

Finding Hope and Healing

Connect with Avail NYC and utilize their resources:

Personal Advocate: Avail NYC offers personal advocates who provide confidential, compassionate support tailored to each individual’s unique situation. 100% free.
Navigating Relationships: Avail NYC can help navigate relationships, offering guidance and resources to deal with blame-shifting and other challenges.
Referral to Partners: Avail NYC can refer individuals to a network of partners , like The MEND Project, for specialized support.

You are not alone!

A personal advocate at Avail NYC can help you navigate your situation and refer you to trusted partners like us at The MEND Project. The MEND Project offers resources and courses to help victims gain clarity and understand the painful relationship dynamics they are experiencing, recognize manipulative behaviors, and begin the healing process.

Talk to Your Advocate About Tools for Healing

If you're processing a difficult relationship or past experiences, you're not alone. Your advocate is here to walk with you and provide insight into helpful tools that can support your healing.

Consider asking them about the following resources from The MEND Project:

Downloadable Guides: Ask your advocate about the Terms + Definitions , Pillars of Abuse , What is Original Abuse? , and What is Double Abuse? handouts. These resources can help you better understand the dynamics of relational harm and healing.
Self-Paced Course: Explore The MEND Project’s self-guided course to deepen your understanding at your own pace.

You deserve relationships built on respect and emotional safety . Healing is possible with the right tools, support, and a compassionate advocate by your side.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

About the Author

Annette Oltmans is a philanthropist and human rights advocate dedicated to addressing covert emotional abuse. Her personal experiences and extensive research led her to found The MEND Project in 2016.

She developed training models now used by therapists, churches, and organizations nationwide. Annette serves on the boards of Pepperdine University’s Boone Center for the Family and Northrise University and has been published in AACC, Teen Vogue, and more.

Why Slowing Down Can Actually Change Everything

Sat, 15 Feb 2025 13:15:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

When faced with an unexpected pregnancy , your mind may be racing with thoughts. Pressure—whether from yourself or others—can make it feel like you have to decide immediately. But in reality, slowing down is one of the most important things you can do. It gives you space to process emotions, gather information, and make a choice that truly aligns with what you want.

In moments of uncertainty, pausing can feel completely counterintuitive. But making a decision while feeling rushed or overwhelmed can lead to second-guessing or unresolved feelings later. By taking intentional time to reflect, you allow yourself to gain clarity and confidence in the path you choose.

How Stress Affects Decision-Making

When you are under stress, your brain reacts instinctively. It enters fight-or-flight mode, designed to help you respond quickly to perceived danger. In these moments, your brain’s fear center , the amygdala, takes control. This can make you feel anxious, restless, or unable to think clearly.

Research shows that stress-based decisions are often more impulsive and emotionally driven. The brain has two primary decision-making systems . The first is fast, instinctual, and emotional, which is helpful in immediate danger but not ideal for complex choices. The second system is slower and more logical, allowing for deeper reflection. When people feel pressure to decide quickly, they are more likely to react emotionally rather than think through their options.

Why Slowing Down Leads to Better Choices

Slowing down helps shift your brain from reacting to reflecting. When you pause, the logical part of your brain , the prefrontal cortex, has time to engage. This allows you to see your options more clearly, weigh the long-term impact of your choice, and make a decision that aligns with what you truly want.

Taking even a short pause can reduce stress, improve confidence, and prevent regret . Rushed choices often lead to second-guessing because they do not fully incorporate personal values or long-term implications. By giving yourself time to breathe and process, you create space for clarity, calm, and confidence in your decision.

The Pressure to Decide Quickly

If you’ve only recently found out you’re pregnant, you may feel an intense urgency to make a decision right away.

Sometimes that urgency comes from external pressures: a partner’s opinion, family expectations, or even cultural messages about what you “should” do. Other times, the pressure comes from within, driven by the desire to regain a sense of control or wanting to revert to what life was like before the pregnancy.

Wanting to move past discomfort quickly is completely natural, but avoiding emotions doesn’t bring lasting relief. Instead of pushing through the decision in survival mode, consider what it would feel like to slow down. What questions would you ask yourself? What clarity might emerge if you gave yourself just a little more time and space?

The Permission to Pause

Slowing down does not mean delaying indefinitely. It means creating intentional time to process, gather information, and move forward with confidence.

If possible, consider:

Taking a personal day or setting aside quiet moments in your routine.
Spending time alone in a peaceful space, away from distractions.
Journaling your thoughts to process them in a more structured way.
Talking with an advocate or trusted friend who can provide support.
Scheduling a medical appointment to gather necessary information.

When you intentionally create space to process, you give yourself the opportunity to hear your own voice clearly. Looking back, you will want to know that you made a decision that truly aligned with what you wanted, not one shaped by pressure or fear.

The Body and Mind Connection

When emotions feel overwhelming, sitting still can be difficult. Moving your body can help regulate your nervous system, making it easier to transition from feeling reactive to feeling grounded in your choices.

Consider trying one of these grounding activities :

Take a walk outside and focus on the sights, sounds, and feel of your surroundings.
Stretch or practice deep breathing to release tension in your body.
Exercise or practice self-care to release stress.
Listen to music and allow yourself to fully engage in the rhythm and melody.

Movement connects your mind and body , helping you shift from feeling stuck in uncertainty to feeling more in control. As your nervous system settles, your thoughts may become more organized, and your emotions may feel less overwhelming.

The Power in Pausing

Giving yourself space to slow down doesn’t mean you’re indecisive or avoiding reality. It means you are honoring yourself by processing your emotions and taking the time you deserve to make a choice that aligns with your values .

This decision is not just about the next few weeks or months. Think about your future and what truly matters to you. Taking time to pause allows you to see your options fully and consider the situation from all angles. It gives you the space to ask, "What do I truly want?” rather than “What do I feel pressured to do?”

The more intentional you are in this process, the more confident you will feel moving forward. You are worth the time it takes to make a decision that reflects who you are and what you value.

Avail: The Place to Find Support

You don’t have to navigate this decision alone. Having a supportive, judgment-free space to talk through your emotions can make all the difference.

Avail NYC proudly offers a safe place where you can process your thoughts, gain clarity, and explore your options without pressure. Our trained advocates are here to listen, support you, and walk with you as you consider your next steps.

Taking time to slow down is a gift you give yourself. It’s a way to honor your emotions, recognize your needs, and ensure that you’re making a decision you feel confident about. No matter where you are on this journey, we’re here for you.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Cómo cuidarse después de un aborto

Sat, 08 Feb 2025 21:57:06 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

La recuperación después de un aborto es un proceso profundamente personal. No hay dos experiencias iguales, y las emociones que surgen después pueden ser complejas. Puede sentir alivio, tristeza, dolor, incertidumbre o incluso entumecimiento. Sea lo que sea lo que sienta, sepa que sus emociones son válidas y que no tiene que procesarlas sola.

Dedicar tiempo a cuidarse a uno mismo es una parte importante de la curación. El cuidado personal no consiste solo en sentirse cómodo. Se trata de darse espacio para procesar, reflexionar y recuperarse.

Cuidarse a uno mismo de manera significativa e intencionada puede ayudarle a sentirse más centrado y apoyado a medida que avanza. Si no está seguro de por dónde empezar, hable con un asesor de Avail y considere estas formas sencillas pero significativas de cuidarse en esta temporada.

Cree un espacio seguro y reconfortante

El espacio que te rodea puede tener un gran impacto en cómo te sientes . Cuando tu entorno está desordenado o es caótico, tus emociones pueden sentirse igual.

Algunos cambios sencillos pueden ayudar a aportar una sensación de calma y estabilidad.

Suaviza la iluminación de tu hogar.
Añade una manta acogedora a tu sillón favorito.
Enciende una vela con un aroma que te reconforte.

Si ciertos objetos o recuerdos te resultan abrumadores, no pasa nada si los guardas por ahora. Te mereces un espacio que te haga sentir en paz y seguro.

Pasar tiempo al aire libre también puede ayudar. Un corto paseo por la naturaleza, sentarse en un parque tranquilo o simplemente abrir una ventana puede ayudarte a recuperar la calma y la claridad. Incluso si no te apetece hacer mucho, rodearte de un espacio reconfortante puede ser una forma suave de apoyarte.

Priorizar el descanso sin sentir culpa

El descanso es una parte esencial de la curación , pero puede ser difícil permitirse bajar el ritmo. Puede que sienta la mente llena o que las responsabilidades diarias hagan que parezca imposible hacer una pausa. Aun así, elegir descansar es una de las cosas más amables que puede hacer por usted mismo.

Si has estado luchando con el sueño , crear una rutina nocturna sencilla puede ayudarte. Dejar el teléfono a un lado antes de acostarte, escuchar música suave o leer algo relajante puede facilitar la relajación. Si tus pensamientos te abruman, escribirlos en un diario puede ayudarte a tranquilizarte.

El descanso no consiste solo en dormir. También se trata de permitirse momentos de quietud y respiraciones profundas. Tómese el tiempo para descansar de la manera que le parezca más adecuada . Si necesita un día para tomar distancia, sin presiones ni expectativas, está bien que se lo tome.

La curación ocurre a su manera y a su propio ritmo. No hay que apresurarse.

Escribir un diario como una forma suave de procesar

Escribir puede ser una forma útil de procesar emociones . A veces, los pensamientos se enredan en nuestra mente, lo que dificulta comprender plenamente lo que estamos experimentando. Llevar un diario te brinda un espacio privado para explorar tus pensamientos sin juicios.

No es necesario que escribas oraciones completas o que todo suene perfecto. Si no estás seguro de por dónde empezar, considera estas indicaciones:

¿Qué emociones me han estado surgiendo últimamente?
¿Qué necesito escuchar ahora mismo?
¿Cómo puedo mostrarme amabilidad hoy?

No hay una forma correcta o incorrecta de escribir un diario. Escribe lo que quieras, tanto o tan poco como quieras. El simple hecho de poner tus pensamientos en papel puede ofrecerte alivio y comprensión de ti mismo.

Sea consciente de lo que consume

Las cosas que vemos, leemos y escuchamos pueden moldear nuestras emociones más de lo que creemos. Si ciertas películas, artículos o conversaciones te abruman, date permiso para dar un paso atrás.

Las redes sociales pueden ser especialmente desafiantes. Si desplazarse por ellas le deja agotado o le provoca, considere la posibilidad de tomarse un descanso o dejar de seguir las cuentas que ya no le animan. En su lugar, busque mensajes y contenidos que le ayuden a sentirse apoyado.

Ser consciente de lo que consume también incluye las conversaciones en las que participa. Si las palabras de alguien le parecen despectivas o poco amables, cuídese estableciendo límites saludables . Su historia es suya y merece protección.

Muévete de una manera que te haga sentir bien

El movimiento puede ser una forma de reconectar con tu cuerpo y liberar tensión, pero no tiene por qué ser intenso ni estructurado. Escucha a tu cuerpo y haz lo que te parezca adecuado.

Un corto paseo al aire libre, estirarse por la mañana o incluso balancearse al son de una música suave puede ayudar a liberar endorfinas que mejoran el estado de ánimo. Si tu cuerpo se siente cansado, respétalo. El movimiento reparador consiste en nutrir, no en presionar.

Si prefieres el movimiento creativo, considera la posibilidad de probar la danza, el yoga u otra forma de expresión que te permita sentirte presente. Mover el cuerpo, aunque sea mínimamente, puede marcar una gran diferencia .

Háblate a ti mismo con amabilidad

La forma en que hablas contigo mismo es importante. Puede ser fácil ser duro contigo mismo, reproducir elecciones pasadas o sentir que deberías estar más avanzado en tu curación. Pero la curación no consiste en seguir un cronograma. Se trata de permitirte a ti mismo la gracia.

Si te encuentras en un remolino de pensamientos negativos, intenta cambiarlos por algo más amable . En lugar de pensar: «Ya debería haber superado esto», recuérdate a ti mismo: «La curación lleva tiempo y se me permite ir a mi propio ritmo». En lugar de decir: «No soy lo suficientemente fuerte», díte a ti mismo: «Ya he dado valientes pasos adelante y seguiré creciendo».

Tú no te defines por tus momentos más difíciles . Mereces amor, cuidado y compasión. Intenta ser tan amable contigo mismo como lo serías con un amigo cercano.

Encuentre asistencia en Avail NYC

No importa en qué punto de tu proceso de sanación te encuentres, debes saber que no tienes que resolverlo todo por tu cuenta. Aunque puede parecer difícil pedir ayuda, hablar con alguien que te entienda puede ser increíblemente significativo.

Avail NYC existe para proporcionar un lugar compasivo y confidencial para que mujeres y hombres encuentren claridad y sanación después de su experiencia de aborto, sin importar cómo se sientan. Ya sea que prefiera una conversación individual con un asesor o el sentido de comunidad que se encuentra en nuestro grupo semanal de apoyo después del aborto , el apoyo está disponible.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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Practicing Self-Care After an Abortion

Sat, 08 Feb 2025 13:15:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Healing after an abortion is a deeply personal journey. No two experiences are the same, and the emotions that follow can be complex. You may feel relief, sadness, grief, uncertainty, or even numbness. Whatever you are feeling, know that your emotions are valid, and you do not have to process them alone.

Taking time to care for yourself is an important part of healing. Self-care is not just about comfort. It is about giving yourself space to process, reflect, and restore.

Caring for yourself in meaningful, intentional ways can help you feel more grounded and supported as you move forward. If you are unsure where to begin, talk with an Avail advocate and consider these simple but meaningful ways to care for yourself in this season.

Create a Safe and Comforting Space

Your space around you can have a powerful impact on how you feel . When your environment is cluttered or chaotic, your emotions may feel the same way.

Simple changes can help bring a sense of calm and stability.

Soften the lighting in your home.
Add a cozy blanket to your favorite chair.
Light a candle with a scent that brings comfort.

If certain objects or reminders feel overwhelming, it is okay to put them away for now. You deserve a space that feels peaceful and safe.

Spending time outside can also help. A short walk in nature, sitting in a quiet park, or just opening a window can help restore your sense of calm and clarity. Even if you don’t feel like doing much, surrounding yourself with a comforting space can be a gentle way to support yourself.

Prioritize Rest Without Guilt

Rest is an essential part of healing , yet it can be difficult to allow yourself to slow down. Your mind may feel full, or daily responsibilities may make it seem impossible to pause. Even so, choosing to rest is one of the kindest things you can do for yourself.

If you have been struggling with sleep , creating a simple nighttime routine may help. Setting your phone aside before bed, listening to soft music, or reading something calming can make it easier to unwind. If your thoughts feel overwhelming, writing them down in a journal may help ease your mind.

Rest is not only about sleep. It is also about allowing yourself moments of stillness and deep breaths. Take time to rest in a way that feels right for you . If you need a day to step back, without pressure or expectations, it is okay to take that time.

Healing happens in its own way and at its own pace. You do not have to rush it.

Journaling as a Gentle Way to Process

Writing can be a helpful way to process emotions . Sometimes, thoughts feel tangled in our minds, making it difficult to fully grasp what we are experiencing. Journaling gives you a private space to explore your thoughts without judgment.

You don’t need to write in full sentences or make everything sound perfect. If you’re unsure where to start, consider these prompts:

What emotions have been coming up for me lately?
What do I need to hear right now?
What is one way I can show myself kindness today?

There is no right or wrong way to journal. Write as little or as much as you want. The simple act of putting your thoughts on paper can offer relief and self-understanding.

Be Mindful of What You Consume

The things we watch, read, and listen to can shape our emotions more than we realize. If certain movies, articles, or conversations feel overwhelming, give yourself permission to take a step back.

Social media can be particularly challenging. If scrolling leaves you feeling drained or triggered, consider taking a break or unfollowing accounts that no longer encourage you. Instead, seek out messages and content that help you feel supported.

Being mindful of what you consume also includes the conversations you engage in. If someone’s words feel dismissive or unkind, practice self-care by setting healthy boundaries . Your story is your own and worthy of protection.

Move in a Way That Feels Good for You

Movement can be a way to reconnect with your body and release tension, but it does not have to be intense or structured. Listen to your body and do what feels right for you.

A short walk outside, stretching in the morning, or even swaying to soft music can help release mood-boosting endorphins. If your body feels tired, honor that. Restorative movement is about nourishment, not pressure.

If you prefer creative movement, consider trying out dance, yoga, or another form of expression that allows you to feel present. Moving your body, even in the smallest ways, can make a big difference .

Speak to Yourself with Kindness

The way you talk to yourself matters. It can be easy to be hard on yourself, to replay past choices, or to feel like you should be further along in your healing. But healing is not about following a timeline. It is about allowing yourself grace.

If you catch yourself in a swirl of negative thoughts, try shifting them to something kinder . Instead of thinking, "I should be over this by now," remind yourself, "Healing takes time, and I am allowed to go at my own pace." Instead of saying, "I am not strong enough," tell yourself, "I have already taken brave steps forward, and I will continue to grow."

You are not defined by your hardest moments . You are worthy of love, care, and compassion. Aim to be as gentle with yourself as you would be with a close friend.

Find Support at Avail NYC

No matter where you are in your healing journey, know that you do not have to figure it all out on your own. While it may feel difficult to reach out, talking with someone who understands can be incredibly meaningful.

Avail NYC exists to provide a compassionate, confidential place for women and men to find clarity and healing after their abortion experience, no matter what they are feeling.

Whether you prefer a one-on-one conversation with an advocate or the sense of community found in our weekly post-abortion support group , support is available.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Navigating Tough Choices with Confidence

Sat, 01 Feb 2025 13:30:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Life can be unpredictable, bringing moments that leave us feeling uncertain about what to do next. Whether it’s navigating an unexpected career change, relationship struggles, or an unintended pregnancy , making a decision in the middle of uncertainty can feel overwhelming. You may feel pressure to act quickly, or you might find yourself stuck, unsure of where to turn.

But even in the middle of uncertainty, you are not alone. Every choice you make can be an opportunity to learn more about yourself and what matters most to you. With the right support and space to process your thoughts, you can move forward with confidence.

At Avail NYC , we believe in walking alongside you as you navigate an unplanned pregnancy. We provide a safe and judgment-free space where you can reflect, gather information, and explore your options with clarity and support.

1. Take Time to Process Your Emotions

When you are facing a tough decision, emotions like fear, stress, or guilt can feel overwhelming. It may be tempting to push them aside and focus on problem-solving right away, but taking time to acknowledge what you are feeling can help bring clarity.

Give yourself the space and the grace you need to process what’s happening. Try journaling your thoughts, reflecting quietly, or talking with a trusted friend.

If the emotions feel too big to process alone or if you’re not sure how to start, talk to an advocate at Avail . Our team of trained advocates offer a confidential and compassionate space where you can share your feelings freely.

When you take the time to recognize what you are experiencing, you create space to make decisions that come from a place of clarity rather than fear.

2. Clarify Your Values and Priorities

Every decision is shaped by what matters most to you. Identifying your core values can help you feel more confident as you weigh your options.

If you are unsure where to begin, think about moments in your life when you felt at peace with a decision. What guided that choice? You might also consider the people and things you hold dear. What about them do you appreciate? What qualities do you admire in others? Reflecting on these questions can help you recognize what is most important as you make your decision.

Your values serve as a guide, helping you make a choice that aligns with who you are and what you want for your future.

3. Gather Information Without Feeling Overwhelmed

Knowledge can empower you to make confident choices, but too much information at once can feel confusing. If you find yourself searching for answers and feeling more uncertain than before, take a step back and focus on what matters most.

Talking with a trusted, expert advocate can help you sort through information in a way that feels manageable and clear. Rather than sorting through endless information on your own, you can receive judgment-free support and resources tailored to your unique situation.

Rather than searching for every possible detail, focus on finding trustworthy sources that give you the essentials. Gathering balanced, accurate information allows you to move forward feeling informed rather than overwhelmed.

4. Lean on Supportive People Who Listen Without Judgment

Big decisions can feel isolating, but you don’t have to navigate them alone. Having trusted support can provide reassurance and help you process your thoughts with clarity.

Choose to connect with people who will listen with compassion and encourage you as you make your decision. This could be a friend, family member, mentor, or a personal advocate at Avail . We offer a confidential space where you can talk through your options and emotions without pressure or judgment.

Support is not about someone else deciding for you. It is about having a space where you feel heard, respected, and valued. You have the wisdom to make the choice that is right for you, and the right support can help you find clarity and confidence along the way.

5. Imagine Possible Outcomes

Visualization can be a powerful tool when making decisions. Try imagining yourself in each possible scenario and ask yourself:

What excites or concerns me about this choice?
How does this decision align with my long-term goals?
Which option best reflects my values?
What might life look like one year from now based on this decision?

Thinking through these questions can help you connect with what feels right. While the future is unpredictable, visualizing different paths can give you confidence in the direction you choose.

6. Release the Pressure to Make the “Perfect” Decision

Every choice comes with unknowns. It is easy to feel pressure to find the “right” or “perfect” answer, but real life rarely works that way. Instead of seeking perfection, focus on making the best decision you can with the information and support you have today.

Even if challenges arise along the way, remind yourself of your resilience . You have already overcome difficult situations in the past, and you have the strength to navigate this moment, too.

What defines you is not the decision itself but how you grow from it. No matter what path you choose, you are not alone.

7. Take Small Steps Forward

Once you have made a decision, taking small, manageable steps can help you move forward with confidence. If you are feeling unsure about where to begin, start by taking just the next best step:

Schedule an appointment to talk with an advocate .
Write down a plan for what you need next.
Reach out to someone you trust for support.
Gather any resources that may be helpful for your next steps.

Breaking big decisions into smaller steps makes the process feel less overwhelming. Each step you take is a sign of progress, no matter how small. Our blog, Taking Small Steps Forward, One Day at a Time , explores how small, intentional choices can create lasting change and help you build confidence as you navigate your next steps. Celebrate those steps as you move toward a future that reflects your values and priorities.

You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

Making difficult decisions takes courage, but you do not have to do it alone. Avail NYC offers support, guidance, and a confidential space where you can explore your options with clarity and confidence.

If you are feeling uncertain, you do not have to carry the weight of this decision by yourself. Whether you need one-on-one support, trustworthy resources, or simply a listening ear, we are here to walk alongside you.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Navegar por decisiones difíciles con confianza

Sat, 01 Feb 2025 13:15:00 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

La vida puede ser impredecible y traer momentos que nos hacen sentir inseguros sobre qué hacer a continuación. Ya sea que se trate de un cambio inesperado de carrera, dificultades en una relación o un embarazo no deseado , tomar una decisión en medio de la incertidumbre puede resultar abrumador. Es posible que sienta la presión de actuar rápidamente o que se sienta estancado, sin saber a dónde acudir.

Pero incluso en medio de la incertidumbre, no estás sola. Cada elección que hagas puede ser una oportunidad para aprender más sobre ti misma y sobre lo que más te importa. Con el apoyo adecuado y el espacio para procesar tus pensamientos, puedes avanzar con confianza.

En Avail NYC , creemos en caminar a tu lado mientras atraviesas un embarazo no planificado. Proporcionamos un espacio seguro y libre de juicios donde puedes reflexionar, recopilar información y explorar tus opciones con claridad y apoyo.

1. Tómate tiempo para procesar tus emociones

Cuando se enfrenta a una decisión difícil, las emociones como el miedo, el estrés o la culpa pueden resultar abrumadoras. Puede ser tentador dejarlas de lado y centrarse inmediatamente en la resolución del problema, pero tomarse un tiempo para reconocer lo que está sintiendo puede ayudarle a aclararse.

Dese el espacio y la gracia que necesita para procesar lo que está sucediendo. Intente escribir sus pensamientos en un diario, reflexionar en silencio o hablar con un amigo de confianza.

Si las emociones son demasiado fuertes para procesarlas solo o si no está seguro de cómo empezar, hable con un asesor de Avail . Nuestro equipo de asesores capacitados ofrece un espacio confidencial y compasivo donde puede compartir sus sentimientos libremente.

Cuando te tomas el tiempo para reconocer lo que estás experimentando, creas un espacio para tomar decisiones que provienen de un lugar de claridad en lugar de miedo.

2. Aclare sus valores y prioridades

Cada decisión está determinada por lo que más le importa. Identificar sus valores fundamentales puede ayudarle a sentirse más seguro al sopesar sus opciones.

Si no está seguro de por dónde empezar, piense en momentos de su vida en los que se sintió en paz con una decisión. ¿Qué le guió en esa elección? También puede pensar en las personas y las cosas que aprecia. ¿Qué es lo que aprecia de ellas? ¿Qué cualidades admira en los demás? Reflexionar sobre estas preguntas puede ayudarle a reconocer lo que es más importante a la hora de tomar una decisión.

Tus valores te sirven de guía, ayudándote a tomar una decisión que se alinee con quién eres y lo que quieres para tu futuro.

3. Recopile información sin sentirse abrumado

El conocimiento puede empoderarle para tomar decisiones con confianza, pero demasiada información a la vez puede resultar confusa. Si se encuentra buscando respuestas y se siente más inseguro que antes, dé un paso atrás y concéntrese en lo que más importa.

Hablar con un defensor experto de confianza puede ayudarte a clasificar la información de una manera que te resulte manejable y clara. En lugar de clasificar por tu cuenta una cantidad interminable de información, puedes recibir apoyo sin juicios y recursos adaptados a tu situación particular.

En lugar de buscar todos los detalles posibles, concéntrate en encontrar fuentes fiables que te proporcionen lo esencial. Recopilar información equilibrada y precisa te permite avanzar sintiéndote informado en lugar de abrumado.

4. Apóyate en personas comprensivas que escuchen sin juicios

Las decisiones importantes pueden hacerte sentir aislado, pero no tienes que tomarlas solo. Contar con apoyo de confianza puede brindarte tranquilidad y ayudarte a procesar tus pensamientos con claridad.

Elige conectarte con personas que te escuchen con compasión y te animen a medida que tomas tu decisión. Puede ser un amigo, un familiar, un mentor o un representante personal de Avail . Ofrecemos un espacio confidencial donde puedes hablar sobre tus opciones y emociones sin presión ni juicios.

El apoyo no consiste en que otra persona decida por ti. Se trata de tener un espacio donde te sientas escuchado, respetado y valorado. Tienes la sabiduría para tomar la decisión correcta para ti, y el apoyo adecuado puede ayudarte a encontrar claridad y confianza en el camino.

5. Imagina posibles resultados

La visualización puede ser una herramienta poderosa a la hora de tomar decisiones. Intenta imaginarte en cada escenario posible y pregúntate:

¿Qué me emociona o me preocupa de esta elección?
¿Cómo se alinea esta decisión con mis objetivos a largo plazo?
¿Qué opción refleja mejor mis valores?
¿Cómo podría ser la vida dentro de un año a partir de ahora en función de esta decisión?

Pensar en estas preguntas puede ayudarte a conectar con lo que sientes que es correcto. Aunque el futuro es impredecible, visualizar diferentes caminos puede darte confianza en la dirección que elijas.

6. Libérese de la presión para tomar la decisión «perfecta»

Toda elección conlleva incógnitas. Es fácil sentir la presión de encontrar la respuesta «correcta» o «perfecta», pero la vida real rara vez funciona así. En lugar de buscar la perfección, concéntrese en tomar la mejor decisión posible con la información y el apoyo de los que dispone hoy.

Incluso si surgen desafíos en el camino, recuerde su capacidad de recuperación . Ya ha superado situaciones difíciles en el pasado y también tiene la fuerza para afrontar este momento.

Lo que te define no es la decisión en sí, sino cómo creces a partir de ella. No importa el camino que elijas, no estás solo.

7. Avance poco a poco

Una vez que haya tomado una decisión, dar pasos pequeños y manejables puede ayudarle a avanzar con confianza. Si no está seguro de por dónde empezar, comience por dar el siguiente mejor paso:

Programe una cita para hablar con un asesor .
Escriba un plan de lo que necesita a continuación.
Pida ayuda a alguien de confianza.
Reúna todos los recursos que puedan ser útiles para sus próximos pasos.

Dividir las grandes decisiones en pasos más pequeños hace que el proceso resulte menos abrumador. Cada paso que das es una señal de progreso, por pequeño que sea. Celebra esos pasos a medida que avanzas hacia un futuro que refleje tus valores y prioridades.

No tienes que hacerlo solo

Tomar decisiones difíciles requiere valor, pero no tienes que hacerlo solo. Avail NYC ofrece apoyo, orientación y un espacio confidencial donde puedes explorar tus opciones con claridad y confianza.

Si te sientes inseguro, no tienes que cargar con el peso de esta decisión tú solo. Ya sea que necesites apoyo personalizado, recursos confiables o simplemente alguien que te escuche, estamos aquí para acompañarte.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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She Told You She’s Pregnant. Now What?

Sat, 25 Jan 2025 21:15:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Life can surprise you when you least expect it. Maybe you’re winding down after a long day, or you’re running errands when she reaches out and says, “I’m pregnant.”

It’s natural to feel a rush of emotions like surprise or uncertainty, especially if you’re unsure of how to respond. Many men find themselves navigating unfamiliar territory in moments like this, and that’s okay.

Taking the First Steps

An unexpected pregnancy can bring up big questions and complex feelings for both of you. While you process your own emotions, you might also be wondering how to support her. It’s not always easy to balance these needs, but you don’t have to navigate them alone.

At Avail NYC , our trained advocates provide a safe and confidential space where you can share your thoughts, explore options, and find ways to move forward. Whether you’re looking for guidance, emotional support, or simply a listening ear, you can talk to a male advocate who will walk alongside you during this time.

Here are four practical steps to move forward with clarity and care.

4 Ways to Support Her and Yourself Throughout an Unexpected Pregnancy

Here are four practical steps to move forward with clarity and care.

1. Listen First, Without Judgment

One of the most meaningful ways to support her is to actively listen . She may feel overwhelmed, and having a safe space to share her thoughts can make all the difference.

When you listen, focus on what she’s saying without thinking about how to respond immediately. Nod, make eye contact, and ask clarifying questions like, “How are you feeling about this?” or “What’s been on your mind the most?”

Although your voice matters too, avoid the urge to give advice right away. Sometimes, just being present and offering your full attention is enough to help her feel supported and understood. Your role is not to fix everything but to be someone she can rely on.

2. Process Your Own Emotions

It’s okay to feel a wide range and intense mix of emotions about the situation. Whether you’re worried, confused, or even hopeful, giving yourself space to process your thoughts and feelings can bring clarity.

Try setting aside time to reflect. Writing in a journal or even keeping a note on your phone can help you organize your thoughts and identify what’s most important to you . Ask yourself:

What are my initial reactions, and why do I feel this way?
What concerns me most about this situation?
What are my hopes for how we move forward together?

Talking with someone outside the situation can also help. A trusted friend, family member, or Avail advocate can provide perspective and guidance as you process what this news means for you and your future.

Remember, understanding your feelings will allow you to approach her with empathy and confidence, which strengthens your ability to navigate this journey together.

3. Offer Practical Support

Support can take many forms, and finding what works best for both of you is key. While emotional reassurance is important, tangible actions can also help ease stress and strengthen your partnership during this time.

If you’re looking for ways to offer practical support, here are some ideas to consider:

Helping with daily tasks: You might offer to run errands, cook meals, or handle chores to create space for her to focus on her well-being.
Attending appointments together: Joining her for doctor’s visits or support meetings, such as at Avail NYC, can be a way to show solidarity. It’s important to communicate openly and ensure you’re both comfortable with this.
Checking in regularly: Simply asking how she’s feeling or what she needs can open the door for meaningful conversations. Even a small gesture, like a message saying, “I’m here if you need me,” can make a difference.

These actions are not about taking on everything but about showing that you’re present and willing to share this journey together. By working as a team and finding ways to support one another, you can create a sense of partnership that helps you both navigate the path ahead.

4. Provide Reassurance

When emotions run high, it’s important to remain a source of calm. Let her know she can share her fears, worries, or even moments of excitement with you without judgment, even if you disagree with each other.

Instead of jumping to problem-solving, remind her that you’re in this together. Saying things like, “I’m here for you no matter what,” or “We’ll work through this as a team,” can help her feel supported on the journey.

In addition, create a space where she feels emotionally safe . This might mean listening without reacting or validating her feelings, even if they’re different from your own. By focusing on her emotional well-being, you help her feel more confident in navigating what’s ahead.

Support for Both of You

Facing an unexpected pregnancy can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. This is a new journey. Take things one step at a time, allowing space for questions, reflection, and meaningful conversations.

Avail provides a safe, judgment-free environment where you can openly share your thoughts and feelings. Our male advocates tailor sessions to your unique situation, offering personalized guidance to help you sort through your emotions, communicate effectively with your partner, and make decisions that reflect your values.

Whether you need emotional support, practical tools for decision-making, or simply someone to listen, we are here to guide you. Our goal is to empower you to approach this journey with confidence and clarity.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

How to Share News of an Unintended Pregnancy

Fri, 17 Jan 2025 16:30:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Facing an unexpected pregnancy can bring up a range of emotions. It’s natural to feel a mix of reactions, and you might not know how to process everything all at once.

Sharing the news with those closest to you can feel daunting, filled with anxiety and uncertainty. Here are some steps to help you navigate these conversations with confidence and care.

Spend Time with Your Own Emotions First

Before sharing the news, give yourself time to reflect.

Allow yourself the space and the grace to experience the many emotions you’re experiencing. This life change is big, and brings physical, emotional, and mental changes with it. Yet, taking time to process your feelings will help you approach others with clarity.

Consider journaling as a way to explore your emotions. Writing down your thoughts can provide insight into what you’re feeling and help you better give voice to your needs when you’re ready to share.

Consider Who You Want to Tell

Think about the people in your life who are your biggest supporters.

On a piece of paper, make a list of people you trust most. Think of those who have stood by you during difficult times. Next to their names, write down how they have supported you in the past and how you might need their help now.

Remember, the people you choose to share this with will have their own reactions and emotions to process. They may need time to respond and their initial reaction may not be their long-term perspective, so patience and understanding are key.

If you’re unsure of where to begin, think about starting with someone who has always been a good listener or who has shown compassion in challenging moments.

If you feel as if you don’t know who to tell or don’t want to share with your network, talk with an advocate at Avail NYC. Advocates are trained to provide a listening ear and compassionate support. They can help you process your feelings, consider your options, and prepare for conversations with others. You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Having someone to talk to can make all the difference.

Prepare for the Conversation

When you're ready to talk, choose a time and place where you can have a private, distraction-free conversation.

Begin by sharing how you feel, and let them know how they can support you. If you’re unsure of what to say, practicing in advance or writing down key points can help you feel more confident.

Try framing the conversation with phrases like, “I’m sharing this because I value your support” or “I want to talk about something important, and I’d like your help.” Setting a positive and open tone can encourage a constructive response.

Take a Moment to Breathe

It’s natural to feel overwhelmed or nervous. Whether your thoughts are racing or you feel like a pendulum swinging between emotions, remember that these feelings are common.

Be patient with your own emotions. Pausing to take a deep breath can help ground you and bring focus to your next steps.

In moments of heightened anxiety, practice your favorite mindfulness technique. Paying attention to your breathing–even for a few moments–can help calm your mind and steady your emotions.

Offer Yourself Grace

When going through any big life event, it’s important to show yourself kindness throughout the process. Remind yourself that your journey is unique, and you are doing the best you can.

Think about the fear or negative emotion that holds you most. Then, think about a truth that combats that and write it down. For example, if you’re struggling with uncertainty, you could write, “I am strong and capable.” Put this note somewhere you’ll see it often to remind yourself of this truth.

Support is Available

At Avail NYC , we understand how challenging this journey can be. Our personal advocates are here to provide a safe, confidential space to talk through your experiences and questions.

If you’re unsure about how to share the news or navigate this season, we’re here to help. Schedule your free appointment today to connect with a personal advocate who will walk alongside you as you find clarity and confidence in your next steps.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

How to Build a Strong Support System

Sat, 11 Jan 2025 13:15:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Facing life’s challenges can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through them alone. Finding a network of people who truly listen, encourage, and uplift, can make all the difference.

Whether you’re working through an unintended pregnancy, processing a past abortion experience, or managing daily life, having others by your side can transform how you navigate these moments.

The journey to building a meaningful support system begins with a single, courageous step.

Start by Identifying Your Needs

Building a strong support system begins with understanding the kind of care and connection you might need the most.

Take a moment to reflect on what would bring you the greatest comfort or help:

Do you want someone to listen and offer emotional reassurance, or do you need practical guidance?
Are you looking for advice, encouragement, or a safe space to share your thoughts?
Do you need support in navigating specific challenges, such as managing stress or making a difficult decision?

For example, if you’re navigating an unexpected pregnancy and want someone to talk to, you might find comfort in meeting with an advocate at Avail. Knowing what you need is the first step to finding the people and resources that can help you move forward with confidence.

Reach Out to Existing Connections

Building a support system often starts with the people already in your life. Think about family members, friends, or colleagues you trust and feel safe with.

Reaching out may feel daunting, but even a small step, like sharing your thoughts or asking for help, can open the door to meaningful connection. Strengthening these relationships through intentional gestures like quick phone calls, coffee meet-ups, or thoughtful texts to check in can go a long way.

If you feel like you don’t have anyone to turn to, know that you’re not alone. Consider reaching out to a trusted community resource, such as Avail , where you can find a safe, compassionate space to talk and explore the kind of support you need.

Take Steps to Expand Your Circle

Sometimes the people in your current network may not fully meet your needs. That’s normal, especially as we grow and experience new things. Taking this step can feel unfamiliar, but it often leads to meaningful relationships with people who truly understand and support you.

To get connected, consider:

Joining Community Groups : Look for local organizations, volunteer opportunities, or meetups that align with your interests. Whether it’s a book club, a faith-based group, or a class, these settings create natural opportunities to meet others who share your passions and values.
Seeking Professional Support : Therapists, life coaches, or support groups (like Avail’s after-abortion meetup ) tailored to specific challenges can provide expert guidance and a deeper level of understanding. Professional support can also be especially helpful if you’re navigating complex emotions or life changes.
Leveraging Online Communities : Digital spaces can connect you with people who share similar experiences, even if they live far away. Forums, social media groups, or virtual events can offer a sense of belonging and access to valuable advice.

Expanding your network takes courage, but it can also bring incredible growth and support into your life. Just take it one step at a time.

Establish Boundaries and Roles

No two people in your circle will fill the exact same role, and that’s okay. Some may be wonderful at providing emotional support, while others excel at offering practical advice. Recognizing these strengths prevents placing unrealistic expectations on any one person and allows your relationships to thrive.

Healthy boundaries are just as important as the roles people play in your support system. Clear communication about your needs and limits creates balance and fosters mutual respect.

It’s also important to respect the boundaries of others around you. Understanding that they have their own limitations doesn’t make their care for you any less. It simply reflects the natural give-and-take of a healthy relationship. Establishing these boundaries can make your connections stronger and more meaningful.

Cultivate Trust and Open Communication

Trust is the foundation of any strong support system. Building it starts with being honest about your feelings and struggles, but only to the extent you feel comfortable. Know that you never have to share anything you’re not ready to discuss, and it’s okay to take your time.

Active listening is just as important as sharing. Offering your full attention and showing empathy can make a world of difference. Trust grows when both giving and receiving support are rooted in understanding and compassion.

Maintain and Nurture Your Support System

Creating a support system is just the beginning; maintaining it requires ongoing care and attention. Show gratitude for the people who stand by you, whether through a heartfelt thank-you, a quick message, or simply being there when they need you. Celebrating their milestones and offering your support in return strengthens the bonds that make these relationships meaningful.

As life evolves, so do your needs and relationships. Regularly take time to reflect on your support circle and consider how you feel. It’s natural to let go of connections that no longer align with your journey or to seek out new ones that better meet your current needs. Nurturing your support system is a continual process that ensures you have the encouragement and care you need to thrive.

Avail NYC is Here to Support You

Building a support system takes time, intention, and effort, but you don’t have to do it alone. At Avail NYC , we understand the power of compassionate support and are committed to being a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion.

Our team of expert advocates is here to walk alongside you. With personalized care and a judgment-free space, we aim to empower you to make confident decisions, cultivate healthy relationships, and pursue resilience.

If you’re ready to take the first step, reach out to us today. Together, we can help you find the strength and community you need to thrive.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Cómo crear un sólido sistema de apoyo

Sat, 11 Jan 2025 13:15:00 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Afrontar los retos de la vida puede resultar aislante, pero no tienes por qué hacerlo solo. Encontrar una red de personas que realmente te escuchen, te animen y te levanten el ánimo puede marcar la diferencia.

Tanto si estás superando un embarazo no deseado, procesando una experiencia de aborto pasada o gestionando la vida diaria, tener a otras personas a tu lado puede transformar tu forma de afrontar estos momentos.

El camino hacia la creación de un sistema de apoyo significativo comienza con un solo paso valiente.

Empieza por identificar tus necesidades

La creación de un sistema de apoyo sólido empieza por conocer el tipo de atención y conexión que más necesitas.

Tómese un momento para reflexionar sobre lo que le aportaría mayor consuelo o ayuda:

¿Quiere que alguien le escuche y le tranquilice emocionalmente, o necesita orientación práctica?
¿Buscas consejo, ánimo o un espacio seguro para compartir tus pensamientos?
¿Necesitas apoyo para afrontar retos concretos, como controlar el estrés o tomar una decisión difícil?

Por ejemplo, si estás afrontando un embarazo inesperado y quieres hablar con alguien, quizá te reconforte reunirte con un defensor de Avail. Saber lo que necesitas es el primer paso para encontrar a las personas y los recursos que pueden ayudarte a avanzar con confianza.

Acude a tus contactos

La creación de un sistema de apoyo suele empezar con las personas que ya forman parte de tu vida. Piense en familiares, amigos o colegas en los que confía y con los que se siente seguro.

Tender la mano puede parecer desalentador, pero incluso un pequeño paso, como compartir tus pensamientos o pedir ayuda, puede abrir la puerta a una conexión significativa. Fortalecer estas relaciones a través de gestos intencionados, como llamadas telefónicas rápidas, Encuentros para tomar un café, o mensajes de texto reflexivos para comprobar que todo va bien, puede llegar muy lejos.

Si sientes que no tienes a nadie a quien acudir, debes saber que no estás sola. Considera la posibilidad de acudir a un recurso comunitario de confianza, como Avail , donde puedes encontrar un espacio seguro y compasivo para hablar y explorar el tipo de apoyo que necesitas.

Tome medidas para ampliar su círculo

A veces, es posible que las personas de tu red actual no satisfagan plenamente tus necesidades. Es normal, sobre todo a medida que crecemos y experimentamos cosas nuevas. Dar este paso puede parecer desconocido, pero a menudo conduce a relaciones significativas con personas que realmente te comprenden y te apoyan.

Para conectarte, considera la posibilidad de

Unirse a grupos comunitarios : Busca organizaciones locales, oportunidades de voluntariado o reuniones que coincidan con tus intereses. Ya sea un club de lectura, un grupo religioso o una clase, estos entornos crean oportunidades naturales para conocer a otras personas que comparten tus pasiones y valores.
Buscar apoyo profesional : Los terapeutas, los asesores de vida o los grupos de apoyo (como el de Avail ) adaptados a problemas específicos pueden proporcionar orientación experta y un nivel de comprensión más profundo. El apoyo profesional también puede ser especialmente útil si estás atravesando emociones complejas o cambios vitales.
Aprovechar las comunidades en línea : Los espacios digitales pueden ponerte en contacto con personas que comparten experiencias similares, aunque vivan lejos. Los foros, los grupos en redes sociales o los eventos virtuales pueden ofrecer un sentimiento de pertenencia y acceso a valiosos consejos.

Ampliar tu red de contactos requiere valor, pero también puede aportar un crecimiento y un apoyo increíbles a tu vida. Ve paso a paso.

Establezca límites y funciones

No hay dos personas en tu círculo que desempeñen exactamente el mismo papel, y eso está bien. A algunos se les da de maravilla proporcionar apoyo emocional, mientras que otros destacan ofreciendo consejos prácticos. Reconocer estos puntos fuertes evita poner expectativas poco realistas en una sola persona y permite que tus relaciones prosperen.

Los límites saludables son tan importantes como los papeles que desempeñan las personas en tu sistema de apoyo. Una comunicación clara sobre tus necesidades y límites crea equilibrio y fomenta el respeto mutuo.

También es importante respetar los límites de los demás. Entender que tienen sus propias limitaciones no significa que se preocupen menos por ti. Simplemente refleja el toma y daca natural de una relación sana. Establecer estos límites puede hacer que tus relaciones sean más fuertes y significativas.

Cultivar la confianza y la comunicación abierta

La confianza es la base de todo sistema de apoyo sólido. Para construirla, empieza por ser sincero sobre tus sentimientos y luchas, pero sólo en la medida en que te sientas cómodo. Sepa que nunca tiene que compartir nada que no esté preparado para discutir, y que no pasa nada por tomarse su tiempo.

Escuchar activamente es tan importante como compartir. Ofrecer toda tu atención y mostrar empatía puede marcar la diferencia. La confianza crece cuando tanto el apoyo que se da como el que se recibe se basan en la comprensión y la compasión.

Mantenga y alimente su sistema de apoyo

Crear un sistema de apoyo es sólo el principio; mantenerlo requiere cuidado y atención constantes. Demuestre su gratitud a las personas que le apoyan, ya sea mediante un sincero agradecimiento, un mensaje rápido o simplemente estando ahí cuando le necesitan. Celebrar sus logros y ofrecer tu apoyo a cambio refuerza los vínculos que hacen que estas relaciones sean significativas.

A medida que la vida evoluciona, también lo hacen tus necesidades y tus relaciones. Tómate regularmente tiempo para reflexionar sobre tu círculo de apoyo y reflexiona sobre cómo te sientes. Es natural dejar atrás las relaciones que ya no se ajustan a tu trayectoria o buscar otras nuevas que satisfagan mejor tus necesidades actuales. Alimentar tu sistema de apoyo es un proceso continuo que te garantiza el estímulo y la atención que necesitas para prosperar.

Avail NYC está aquí para apoyarte

Crear un sistema de apoyo requiere tiempo, intención y esfuerzo, pero no tienes por qué hacerlo solo. En Avail NYC entendemos el poder del apoyo compasivo y nos comprometemos a ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que se enfrentan a un embarazo inesperado o que buscan apoyo tras un aborto.

Nuestro equipo de expertos defensores está aquí para acompañarte. Con una atención personalizada y un espacio libre de juicios, nuestro objetivo es capacitarte para que tomes decisiones con confianza, cultives relaciones sanas y busques la resiliencia.

Si estás preparada para dar el primer paso, ponte en contacto con nosotros hoy mismo. Juntos, podemos ayudarte a encontrar la fuerza y la comunidad que necesitas para prosperar.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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Pequeños pasos adelante, día a día

Sat, 04 Jan 2025 20:14:08 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Intentar hacer algo por primera vez puede ser intimidante y abrumador. Del mismo modo que te has enfrentado a retos en el pasado, dar pequeños pasos intencionados puede ayudarte también en esta temporada. Aunque esta situación te parezca diferente, debes saber que eres más fuerte de lo que crees.

No tienes por qué enfrentarte sola a un embarazo inesperado. Cuando el camino no esté claro, tómate un momento para respirar. No pasa nada por sentir incertidumbre o incluso miedo. También está bien ir paso a paso.

Este blog te ofrece ánimos y herramientas prácticas para ayudarte a avanzar a tu propio ritmo. No tienes que resolverlo todo de golpe. El viaje comienza con un solo paso.

Paso 1: Tómate tiempo para hacer una pausa

Si tu mente va a toda velocidad y sientes que tienes que actuar deprisa, hacer una pausa puede resultar contraproducente. Pero permitirse hacer una pausa, respirar y vivir el momento es una de las mejores cosas que puede hacer. Tomarse un momento para ir más despacio permite liberar la ansiedad y la tensión y volver a centrarse en lo más importante.

Una forma sencilla de hacer una pausa es practicar la técnica de atención plena STOP :

S: Stop. Estés haciendo lo que estés haciendo, detente un momento.
T: Respira. Inhala esperanza, exhala estrés.
O: Observa. ¿Qué estás experimentando en este momento?
P: Procede. Continúa avanzando intencionadamente.

Ir más despacio no significa ignorar la situación. Tomarse un tiempo para parar le ayuda a reconectar con su entorno, procesar sus sentimientos y encontrar claridad. Al hacer una pausa intencionada, creas espacio para avanzar con determinación y confianza.

Paso 2: Céntrate en lo que puedes controlar

Cuando la vida resulta abrumadora, es fácil obsesionarse con lo desconocido y con los «y si...». Es natural sentirse paralizado por todo lo que aún no sabes. Pero el progreso empieza con los pasos más pequeños, aunque parezcan inciertos. Centrarte en lo que está bajo tu control puede ayudarte a recuperar la sensación de estabilidad.

Pregúntate: ¿Qué puedo hacer hoy? Puede ser algo tan sencillo como tomar un tentempié, anotar tus pensamientos o llamar a alguien de confianza.

Sea lo que sea lo que decidas hacer, recuerda que el progreso no requiere grandes saltos. A veces, los pasos pequeños e intencionados pueden ser la forma más eficaz de ganar fuerza y claridad.

Si necesita hablar con alguien, los representantes personales de Avail están aquí para escucharle. Tanto si prefieres enviar un mensaje de texto, chatear por vídeo o reunirte en persona en nuestra oficina de Nueva York , estamos preparados para ayudarte de la forma que más te convenga.

Paso 3: Crear un sistema de apoyo

No tienes por qué recorrer este camino solo. Contar con el apoyo de un amigo íntimo, un familiar o una organización de confianza como Avail puede marcar la diferencia.

Si te sientes abrumado, no pasa nada. Incluso anotar una lista de personas o recursos de apoyo puede recordarte que no estás sola. Esta «lista de contactos de apoyo» podría incluir:

Un amigo con el que puedas desahogarte
Un familiar que siempre te escuche sin juicios de valor
Una organización como Avail, donde defensores formados pueden ayudarte a Explore sus opciones y proporcionarte apoyo emocional.

Cuando estés preparado, acércate. Envía un mensaje de texto o llama a Avail NYC para hablar con un defensor formado que pueda escucharte y ayudarte a explorar los siguientes pasos.

Paso 4: Desglosar la gran decisión

Una gran decisión puede parecer desalentadora, pero dividirla en pequeños pasos puede ayudarte a sentirte más seguro de tener el control. No pasa nada si la decisión te parece demasiado grande para abordarla de una vez. Nadie lo resuelve todo en un solo momento.

Empieza simplemente escribiendo la decisión a la que te enfrentas. A continuación, haz una lista de lo que ya sabes. A continuación, escribe tus preguntas e identifica lo que aún necesitas aprender. Si no estás seguro, busca información en Internet o ponte en contacto con una persona de apoyo para hablar sobre el tema. Por último, haz una pequeña acción para recabar información.

No tienes que tomar todas las decisiones a la vez. Permítete trabajar para dar el mejor paso y confía en que la claridad llegará a medida que avances.

Paso 5: Celebre cada victoria

Los avances suelen producirse en pequeños pasos constantes, y cada uno de ellos es importante. Tanto si se trata de hacer una llamada de teléfono, escribir tus pensamientos o simplemente superar un día difícil, merece la pena celebrar estos momentos de progreso.

Considera la posibilidad de llevar un «Diario de pequeñas victorias». Al final de cada día, anota una cosa que te haya hecho avanzar. Puede ser una conversación significativa, completar una tarea que has estado posponiendo o incluso tomarte un merecido momento de descanso. Con el tiempo, ver tus victorias por escrito puede recordarte tu resistencia y lo lejos que has llegado.

Celebrar tu progreso no sólo consiste en reconocer tus acciones, sino también en honrar tu valor y tu fortaleza a medida que atraviesas esta etapa de la vida.

Hay apoyo disponible

A medida que vayas dando pequeños pasos, recuerda que no tienes que resolverlo tú solo. En Avail NYC , nuestros defensores formados están preparados para escucharte y ayudarte a explorar tus opciones.

Tanto si quieres explorar tus opciones como si quieres hablar con alguien sobre cómo dar la noticia del embarazo a tu pareja, madre, hermana o amiga, nuestros defensores formados de Avail están aquí para acompañarte. Juntos podemos ir día a día.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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Taking Small Steps Forward, One Day at a Time

Sat, 04 Jan 2025 13:15:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Trying to navigate anything for the first time can be intimidating and overwhelming. Just as you’ve faced challenges before, taking small, intentional steps can help you navigate this season too. Even if this situation feels different, know that you are stronger than you might feel.

You don’t have to face an unexpected pregnancy alone. When the path ahead feels unclear, take a moment to breathe. It’s okay to feel uncertain or even scared. It’s also okay to take things one step at a time.

This blog offers encouragement and practical tools to help you move forward at your own pace. You don’t have to figure everything out all at once. The journey begins with just one step.

Step 1: Take Time to Pause

If your mind is racing and it feels like you’ve got to act fast, it can feel counterintuitive to pause. But, giving yourself permission to pause, breathe, and just be in the moment is one of the best things you can do. Taking a moment to slow down allows you to release the anxiety and tension and refocus on what’s most important.

One simple way to pause is to practice the STOP mindfulness technique :

S: Stop. Whatever you’re doing, pause for a moment.
T: Take a breath. Inhale hope, exhale stress.
O: Observe. What are you experiencing right now?
P: Proceed. Continue to move forward intentionally.

Slowing down doesn’t mean ignoring the situation. Taking time to STOP helps you reconnect with your surroundings, process your feelings, and find clarity. By pausing intentionally, you create space to move forward with purpose and confidence.

Step 2: Focus on What You Can Control

When life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to fixate on the unknowns and the what-if’s. It’s natural to feel paralyzed by everything you don’t know yet. But progress starts with the smallest steps, even if they feel uncertain. Shifting your focus to what’s within your control can help you regain a sense of stability.

Ask yourself, What’s one thing I can do today? It could be something as simple as grabbing a snack, jotting down your thoughts, or calling someone you trust. Whatever you choose to do, remember that progress doesn’t require giant leaps. Sometimes small, intentional steps can be the most effective ways to grow in strength and clarity.

If you need someone to talk to, Avail’s personal advocates are here to listen. Whether you prefer texting, meeting over Zoom, or meeting in person at our NYC office, we’re ready to support you in the way that feels right for you.

Step 3: Build a Support System

You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Having support from a close friend, family member, or trusted organization like Avail can make all the difference.

If reaching out feels overwhelming, that’s okay. Even jotting down a list of supportive people or resources can remind you that you’re not alone in this. This “support contact list” might include:

A friend you can vent your emotion to
A family member who always listens without judgment
An organization like Avail, where trained advocates can help you explore your options and provide emotional support

When you’re ready, reach out. Text or call Avail NYC to speak with a trained advocate who can listen and help you explore next steps.

Step 4: Break Down the Big Decision

A big decision can feel daunting, but breaking it into smaller steps can help you feel more confident in control. It’s okay if your decision feels too big to tackle all at once. No one solves everything in a single moment.

Start by simply writing down the decision you’re facing. Then, make a list of what you already know. Next, write down your questions and identify what you still need to learn. If you’re not sure, try doing some searching online or reaching out to a support person to talk it through. Finally, take one small action to gather some information.

You don’t have to make every decision at once. Just give yourself permission to work on taking the best next step, and trust that clarity will come as you move forward.

Step 5: Celebrate Every Victory

Progress often comes in small, consistent steps, and every one of them matters. Whether it is making a phone call, writing down your thoughts, or simply getting through a tough day, these moments of progress are worth celebrating.

Consider keeping a “Small Wins Journal.” At the end of each day, jot down one thing you did that moved you forward. It could be a meaningful conversation, completing a task you’ve been putting off, or even taking a well-deserved moment to rest. Over time, seeing your victories in writing can remind you of your resilience and just how far you have come.

Celebrating your progress is not only about recognizing your actions—it is also about honoring your courage and strength as you navigate this season of life.

Support is Available

As you take small steps forward, remember that you don’t have to figure this out on your own. At Avail NYC , our trained advocates are ready to listen and help you explore your options.

Whether you want to explore your options or want someone to talk to about how to break the news about the pregnancy to your partner, mom, sister, or friend, our trained advocates are here to walk with you.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

How to Make a Quick Pregnancy Decision

Sat, 12 Oct 2024 17:29:52 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Finding out you’re pregnant can be overwhelming, especially if you weren’t expecting it. In moments like this, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the pressure to make a quick decision.

But even when time feels short, it’s possible to take thoughtful steps toward a choice that aligns with your core values and circumstances. And you don’t have to navigate this on your own. There are compassionate resources available to help guide and support you through every step.

In this post, we’ll walk through how to make a quick pregnancy decision without feeling rushed or pressured. By focusing on your priorities, weighing your options, and getting the right support, you can regain control and move forward with confidence.

Clarify Your Immediate Concerns

The first step in making any decision is figuring out what’s most important to you right now. With an unexpected pregnancy, you might have what feels like a million things running through your mind—your health, future plans, emotions , and even how others will respond.

Taking a moment to reflect on these concerns can help you feel more grounded. Ask yourself:

What am I concerned about the most?
How do I feel about this pregnancy? What emotions are surfacing?
Am I worried about how others will react? Whose reactions matter most? How much do their opinions influence my decision?
What do I need in this moment to feel more in control? Information, time, or someone to talk to?

Pregnancy decisions can sometimes feel urgent due to time-sensitive medical factors, but it’s important to remember that your well-being comes first . Give yourself permission to do what you need to do to regain control before moving forward. Once you identify your top concerns, you’ll have a renewed sense of peace and confidence.

Weigh Your Options

When you need to make a quick decision, it helps to clearly understand your choices. For an unexpected pregnancy, there are typically three main paths: parenting, adoption, or abortion. Each option comes with its own set of responsibilities and emotional effects, so it’s important to get the facts before deciding what’s right for you.

Our expert advocates at Avail are here to support you in exploring your options without judgment or pressure. Whether you meet in-person or online , our advocates provide a safe and completely confidential space where you can share how you feel about each path, whether it’s parenting, adoption, or abortion.

As you talk through your thoughts, they’ll listen and ask questions to help clarify your feelings. While the decision is entirely yours, having someone to listen and support you through the process can help you feel more confident and capable as you move forward.

Trust Your Values

Experiencing something unanticipated can leave you feeling uncertain about your next steps. When you’re trying to determine the way forward, rely on what’s most important to you for direction.

Think about your core values —what truly matters to you deep down? Prioritizing these values will help guide your decision and bring clarity, even when the situation feels overwhelming. As you think through what’s most important to you, consider these questions:

What values shape my life and decisions? What are my top 10?
How can I let these values guide me as I move forward?
How do I feel about each option , and which one aligns with my beliefs?

By focusing on what feels most authentic to you, you can move forward knowing that your decision aligns with who you are and what you stand for. This process provides peace of mind, even in challenging circumstances or future reflections.

Talk to Someone You Trust

Navigating a big decision is difficult, and you don’t have to do it alone. Sharing your thoughts with someone you trust can relieve some of the emotional burden and help you process your feelings. Talking with someone – whether it's a friend, family member, or counselor – can provide another perspective and help you feel supported.

If you’re not sure who to talk to or worry about being judged or pressured, Avail’s advocates are here for you. Our trained advocates provide a confidential, non-judgmental space where you can explore your thoughts and feelings openly. They’ll listen, can help you process your thoughts, weigh your options, and offer resources tailored to your situation. You don’t have to do it on your own. Having someone to walk alongside you can make a big difference.

Connect with Support for Next Steps

Once you’ve taken time to reflect on your concerns, consider your options, and prioritize your values, the next step is to plan how to move forward. This might mean gathering more information, scheduling a doctor’s appointment, or just giving yourself more time to think.

No matter where you are in the process, having someone to guide you through the next steps can help you feel more confident and less overwhelmed. Avail NYC is here to provide support as you move forward. An advocate can connect you with resources that fit your personal situation or simply listen. We’ll work alongside you to make sure you have the emotional and practical support you need.

You Don’t Have to Decide Alone

Facing an unexpected pregnancy is a big moment in life, but it’s one you don’t have to face alone. At Avail , we believe that with the right support, you can move forward in a way that feels right for you. Our team is here to listen, provide support, and walk with you through every step of the journey.

If you’re feeling unsure or overwhelmed, book an appointment to talk with an advocate . They can help you process your thoughts, talk through your options, and give you the tools to move forward confidently. Schedule a confidential consultation today and get the support you need.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

7 Ways to Honor Your Story

Sun, 28 Jul 2024 00:15:54 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Everyone has a story of struggle and strength that is waiting to be acknowledged and honored in its own time. As you navigate through life's unexpected twists, whether facing an unplanned pregnancy or reflecting on an abortion experience, it's important to recognize the depth and validity of your emotions.

Your experiences and mix of feelings are unique, deeply personal, and worthy of respect and care. That’s why it’s important to honor your story and those moments of vulnerability, courage, and resilience. It is not just an act of courage but a step towards growth and healing.

As we move forward, know that your experience is unique, but you are not alone. There are many common ties that connect the many diverse stories of women and men who have faced an unexpected pregnancy and/or have had an abortion experience. There is strength in honoring your story and honoring the stories of others, and comfort in understanding support. This is a journey about honoring yourself and your experience and the strength you’ve already shown along the way.

1: Acknowledge Your Feelings

The first step in honoring your story is acknowledging your feelings. Give yourself permission to experience the full range of emotions as they come, from confusion and grief to relief and joy. These feelings are valid, no matter how conflicting or fleeting they may seem.

It's normal to experience a whirlwind of emotions, and recognizing what you’re feeling is the first step toward better understanding yourself and your journey. Allow yourself to think about and accept your emotional state and the way it evolves.

When you take the time to think through how you are feeling and process them, you create space for self-compassion and self-awareness. Let yourself freely explore what you’re feeling without judgment. This process is about naming and validating your emotions, and recognizing how those feelings shape your experience.

2: Reflect on Your Experience

Self-reflection is a redeeming practice that allows you to look back on your experiences with a lens of compassion and understanding. By reflecting, you give yourself the opportunity to process your emotions, understand the decisions you've made, and recognize the impact of this journey on your life.

Many studies show journaling to be helpful for processing all kinds of emotions and experiences. While traditional journaling with a notebook and pen is effective, you can tailor it to fit what you need. If physically writing isn’t restful, try typing a private note on your phone or vocalizing your thoughts on a walk or alone in your room.

However you decide to practice self-reflection, remember to focus on finding the strength in your vulnerability and the growth that comes from the challenges you’ve faced. Finding clarity and peace in your story, recognizing the lessons learned, and remembering the resilience that has brought you to this moment all honor the story you’ve lived.

3: Celebrate Your Resilience

Sometimes when difficult situations arise, people doubt whether they showcased strength. But, honoring your story means looking back on your experience and celebrating the strength and bravery you embodied as you navigated the challenges of an unexpected pregnancy or an abortion experience. Recognizing that you've overcome and continued to move forward despite the hardships builds your self-confidence for future challenges and points to your natural ability to persevere.

This celebration can be a personal affirmation of your strength, a moment of gratitude for the journey, or a symbol that represents your resilience. It's essential to honor yourself for the courage it takes to face difficult situations and to recognize the growth. Celebrating your resilience is a testament to your ability to overcome and to find hope and strength in the midst of challenges.

4: Memorialize Your Journey

Honoring your story may also look like commemorating the journey and the emotions involved. While some prefer not to commemorate their journey, others find comfort in remembering their experience. Both perspectives are valid, and you should listen to what your own needs and desires are. Choosing not to memorialize does not mean that you do not or cannot honor your story. However, if you feel that you want to memorialize your experience, consider honoring it by creating something lasting and meaningful.

This could be through writing, art, planting a garden, or any other form of expression that resonates with you. Memorializing isn't about forgetting or moving on; it's about acknowledging and commemorating your journey as a key part of what has made you who you are today. It can serve as a reminder of where you've been, the strength you've found, and the growth you've experienced. This act of remembrance can be a powerful step in processing and embracing the journey ahead.

5: Prioritize Self-Care

Self-care is a vital part of honoring your story. Practicing self-care involves taking the time to nurture your body, mind, and spirit in ways that bring you peace, comfort, and strength.

This could involve activities that you enjoy, practices that promote relaxation, or simply allowing yourself time to rest and recover. By prioritizing self-care, you practice recognizing your own worth and the importance of your well-being. It's a reminder that your health, both physical and emotional, is foundational for flourishing.

As you care for yourself, you honor your story by affirming your value and taking an active role in your restoration.

6: Share If and When You’re Ready

Choosing to share your story is a deeply personal decision and one that should be made on your terms. Sharing can be a powerful tool as you process and can offer a sense of connection. Realizing that you’re not alone can provide comfort, foster understanding, and create a community of support.

But, it's important to share only if and when you’re ready. If it feels like you have to tell someone, remember that this is your experience and that you are in control of who you share it with. There is no timeline you have to follow. You can share your story if and when you’re ready in a way that feels safe and right for you.

Whether it's with a close friend, a support group, or through creative expression, sharing your journey should be empowering, not overwhelming. Honor your story by finding your voice and using it in a way that supports your journey.

7: Seek Support

Seeking support is a courageous step in honoring your story and navigating your journey toward living empowered. Reaching out for support is not a sign of weakness. It is proof of your strength and commitment to well-being. When you recognize when you need help and are open to receiving it, you can find new strength and confidence.

Support can come in many forms, from friends and family to professional counseling and support groups. At Avail NYC, our trained experts offer compassionate, non-judgmental support in a safe space for you to share as much or as little as you want to. For those who need support after an abortion or those facing an unexpected pregnancy, our personal advocates are here to listen, provide resources, and walk with you through every step of your journey. You don't have to do this chapter of your story alone.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

How to Tell My Boyfriend I’m Pregnant

Sat, 20 Jul 2024 00:42:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider

Facing an unintended pregnancy can stir up a mix of emotions. When you're wondering how to tell your boyfriend you're pregnant, it can feel overwhelming. If the news was unexpected for you, it might feel even harder to think about sharing it with someone else. Maybe you’ve seen videos of joyful announcements, but your situation feels different. Maybe you’re unsure how he’ll react or worried that you won’t feel supported.

No matter what you’re feeling right now, you are not alone. You can take your time, gather support, and approach this conversation in a way that honors your needs.

Choose the right moment

Blurted confessions like “I’m pregnant” might happen in movies, but oftentimes, real conversations need care and space. If you’re wondering how to tell your boyfriend you’re unexpectedly pregnant , it is okay to plan ahead.

Try to find a time when you both feel calm and present. If either of you is rushing out the door or distracted by stress, the conversation may feel harder than it needs to. Choose a time when you can talk without interruption, ideally in a private setting that feels safe to you.

If your first plan doesn’t work out, that is okay. You can try again when the moment feels right. This is your story. You can take it one step at a time.

Ground yourself in support

When you're thinking about how to tell your boyfriend you're pregnant, one of the most helpful things you can do is surround yourself with support. If you’re not sure how he will respond, it may feel safer to talk things through with someone else first.

At Avail, our trained care experts are here to listen and help you explore your options with compassion. Whether you are hoping for support from your partner or worried you might face this alone, talking with someone can help you feel more grounded and clear about what matters most to you.

You do not have to navigate this on your own. Every decision you make deserves to come from a place of strength and clarity.

Explore your options with care

Before you talk with your partner about the pregnancy, you may want to take a moment to understand your own thoughts and questions. What matters most to you right now? What are you hoping for? What are you unsure about?

If you are still processing the news yourself, that is okay. There is no one right way to feel. Some people want to talk through their options before having a conversation with their partner. Others need time alone to reflect first.

You can connect with a trained care expert over Zoom or by text to explore each of your options in a space that is private and pressure-free. This support is focused on your needs and your goals. Whatever your situation looks like, you are not alone. You have time to reflect and ask questions, and you have support every step of the way.

You are not alone in this moment

Telling your boyfriend you're pregnant may feel like a turning point. Whether you're ready to have that conversation today or still figuring out what you want to say, you do not have to rush. There is space for your voice, your feelings, and your process.

Avail offers one-on-one support over Zoom and by text. You can connect from anywhere. Our care experts will walk alongside you as you explore your options and figure out next steps that reflect your values and your life.

You are not alone. Let’s take this next step together.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider

Navigating Relationship Resentment After an Abortion

Sat, 13 Jul 2024 12:00:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Nina's Story

Nina looked at her hands, they wouldn’t stop shaking, no matter how she told herself to “pull it together.” Her head hurt. John was talking but the words weren’t landing. The voice in her head was screaming “Your life is over. We’re pregnant.” The timing was all wrong. This... was... not... the plan!

John felt weak. “Pregnant... Jeeze!” The word was bouncing around his brain like a grenade just seconds before exploding. “Don’t be a jerk”, his heart scolded. “But we aren’t ready for this. I can’t believe this is happening.” He sighed deeply, “I just can’t be a dad, this wasn’t how things were supposed to go. I thought she was on birth control, she’s so careless!”

Nina tuned back in to see John wearing the carpet thin pacing back and forth across their tiny apartment. Her thoughts all over, “I always wanted to be a mother and have a family, I really love John, I’m so afraid, I am not ready for this. What do I really want and what does John really want? I don't want saddle him with an unwanted kid. Why didn't he use a condom? How could he be so reckless with our future?”

Suddenly John paused his endless pacing and came over to Nina. With his eyes focused on her, she looked up hopeful and pleading that he would tell her it would all be ok. That maybe they could be good parents or that he’d be there for the abortion to take care of her. All the while silently telegraphing... “please just tell me what to do”. John began “you know I love you right, and even though this wasn't the plan...

Whatever YOU decide... I'll support you.”

The dam broke and the tears came despite her will. Everything faded to black, hope retreated, and

Nina’s heart whispered, “You're on your own girl.”

You're Not Alone

A study published in the CMA journal in 1974 found that of the 1500 participants, 56% of the pregnancies were unplanned. Fast forward to 2023, and according to the US Department of Health and Human Services “Nearly half of pregnancies in the United States are unintended and unintended pregnancy is linked to many negative outcomes for both the woman and the infant.”

But what about relationships? How do you navigate the profound mixed emotions that range from “connection through shared grief or relief” to “eroding trust and bitterness” that often collide when facing an unintended pregnancy? The impact of an unexpected pregnancy and abortion can vary from person to person and look quite different from one relationship to the next.

Make Room for Reactions

When the weight of an unexpected pregnancy settles there are a host of reactions and responses people experience. They are generally divided along emotive and logical or practical distinctions. For example:

The Emotional:

Fear and dread
Grief and sadness
Guilt and shame
Relief or ambivalence
Peace or contentment
Happiness and excitement

The Logical or Practical:

Socio-economic constraints
Geographical or housing status
Age, stage of life, maturity
Pre-existing children or previous pregnancy losses
Historical desires or discussions around family and future
External connections, family and/or social support available
Religious, societal and cultural pressures
Health/trajectory of the relationship pre-pregnancy
Physical Health or disease burden
Psychological preparedness and capacity

This is a lot to process through on your own. So, let’s imagine two people independently navigating this complicated web and then needing to find points of intersection and compromise. Now do this gracefully. During a time fraught with emotional levity, stress and the potential for life-changing impact. It should be no wonder that communication struggles, alignment disintegrates, and offenses present easily.

Post-Abortion Resentment

At Avail, one common concern we encounter with clients post abortion is partner resentment.

Merriam Webster defines resentment as a feeling of inordinate displeasure or persistent ill will towards something regarded as wrong, an insult or injury. The impact of abortion can be incredibly significant for couples. Some couples get through the experience with resilience and mutual support while others may face emotional challenges and lasting relational difficulties.

Take John and Nina above, it's clear that they both are processing independently of each other internally. They are going through a host of different emotions and thoughts. However, neither is being particularly transparent with the other. Perhaps it’s because they're not even sure what they really feel yet. Maybe they're afraid of what the other will say if they are truly honest about their desires. Or it could be that historically in their relationship, hard conversations were simply avoided. However, when under significant emotional stress it is very difficult to step outside of what you are experiencing.

Highly charged moments leave us vulnerable. They increase the likelihood of taking offense to dissenting opinions, and conflict can result in feeling misunderstood, silenced, wounded, or even violated. Which can make it more difficult to express empathy for your partner, to offer grace and forgiveness, or to provide room for that person to process in the way that serves them best. Particularly when you’re hurting or really need them. This creates the perfect soil from which offenses are planted and resentments can grow.

Challenges that can lead to post abortion resentment in relationships are:

Communication: Poor or underdeveloped communication skills
Incongruence: Differences in views on abortion or family planning
Contradictory emotions: Experiencing both joy and fear, panic and regret, or relief and grief at the same time
Alienation: Lack of desired support or engagement from your partner
Capacity: Different levels, skills, or coping strategies for managing stress and navigating difficult circumstances

Resentment's Toxic Impact

Resentment can have a profound and often corrosive effect on relationships. It generally stems from unaddressed grievances, unmet expectations or unresolved conflicts and can lead to severe, pervasive, and negative outcomes for the couple.

Devolving Communication: Harboring resentment for your partner can create resistance to sharing, passivity or engaging in negative or cutting patterns of speaking.
Lack of Empathy: Resentment destroys empathy. There is something about resentment that dehumanizes the other. It can make it more difficult to see their pain or perspective and assume the worst.
Withdrawal: Resentment can cause emotional withdrawal or distance. It can lead to your partner no longer feeling safe emotionally and sometimes physically. Emotional intimacy stagnates and connection suffers.
Erosion of Trust: Trust is a firm foundation from which healthy relationships thrive. Resentment picks away at the confidence you may have had in your partner. Making it hard to feel secure and eroding trust.
Increased Conflict: Unresolved resentment can cause even more conflict and escalate their intensity. Small issues become magnified by underlying bitterness and your relationship becomes a battleground.

Facing Resentment

“Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.” - Brené Brown

Resentment festers when the truth is deferred. It can be difficult to have hard conversations. It can be scary to expose yourself to someone and be vulnerable. Nonetheless, it is imperative for the health of your relationship that resentment is addressed. Resentment can lead to rumination and holding of offenses. It is important that you work to understand each other and resolve issues collaboratively.

Tips for healing from resentment:

Make time and room for healthy discourse
Acknowledge and name your truth and emotions
Express your pain without assigning blame
Listen to understand not respond
Allow time to process and analyze shared feelings
Lead with love and kindness
Own your part – especially when you’re not the best version of yourself
Work towards forgiving your partner and ask for forgiveness
Community support where appropriate – a mentor, a healthy couple, support groups or religious leader
Consider professional support if needed – therapy, couples counseling

From Well-Intentioned to Resentment

Like Nina and John, men and women manage stress, feel emotions and grieve differently. They process trauma and challenges through very unique lenses. As a result, an unexpected pregnancy can illuminate or bring these differences to the forefront. When a man finds out his partner is pregnant there are a host of thoughts and emotions experienced.

Obviously, these are dependent on the person. Nonetheless, far too often we hear men offer the well-intentioned, well-meaning line “whatever you decide, I'll support you,” believing that they're being helpful. That they are honoring the autonomy and individuality of their partner. That this is the socially acceptable and expected response.

Conversely, we hear countless women say that this does not feel supportive at all. That they would appreciate a firm opinion even if it differs from their own. Women have reported feeling that this answer absolves their partner of the weight of the decision. That they instead would love some direction, reassurance or clarity in their partner’s stance, beliefs, and actual desires. Many of our couples’ post-abortion, had they dared to be more transparent, may have made different decisions or had far less resentment afterwards.

This reflects how easy it is for resentments to take root, perception vs reality, beliefs vs needs, alienation vs honesty. A well-meaning gesture, a sideways look, an off comment or “whatever you decide”, could lay the foundation for misunderstanding and resentment. However, when we dare to be brave and get really real and raw with each other, we begin the weighty and worthy challenge of being in relationship with each other. There is no shortcut, “healing is hard work” and “the only way out is through.”

Support is Available

If you're facing resentments in your relationship create a safe space where your partner can share their truth and you can share yours. Listen well as you honor the courage to heal the wounds between you and if needed enlist the support of wise counsel. The silence of resentment speaks volumes and creates wounds that require the balm of trust and forgiveness.

Talking with a Personal Advocate at Avail can help, too. Processing a past abortion experience can help you navigate. If you and your partner are comfortable, consider joining the appointment together - just let your advocate know. Compassionate, non-judgmental support is available.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

About the Author

Dèitra (Dee) R. holds a Master’s degree in Counseling and is known for her deep empathy and commitment to caring for others. Her experience and genuine warmth reflect her belief that every person deserves to be met with understanding and respect.

How to Cope with Anxiety During Pregnancy

Sat, 29 Jun 2024 14:49:27 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Discovering an unexpected pregnancy can bring a wave of sudden emotions. If you find yourself feeling anxious, overwhelmed, scared, or nervous, know that you are not alone. Many women experience similar feelings, and there are strategies and resources available to help you manage and overcome anxiety during this unexpected time of life. Together, let’s explore practical tips and insights for coping with anxiety during pregnancy.

What is Anxiety?

At its core, anxiety is a natural response to something or someone you consider a threat. People experience anxiety differently, but often express feeling tension, stress, worry, nervousness, or fear as well as physical changes like increased blood pressure or rapid heart rate.

While fear is fleeting, anxiety tends to stick around. The American Psychological Association (APA) differentiates the two , writing, “Anxiety is considered a future-oriented, long-acting response broadly focused on a diffuse threat, whereas fear is an appropriate, present-oriented, and short-lived response to a clearly identifiable and specific threat.” Both fear and anxiety are very real and valid responses. However, if you are experiencing high levels of stress or prolonged anxiety, consider reaching out to a mental health professional to discuss professional diagnosis and management.

Anxiety’s Impact on Body and Mind

Everyone’s experience with anxiety is unique, and anxiety can show itself through a wide range of physical and emotional symptoms.

Physically, anxiety may mimic or magnify signs of early pregnancy . Anxiety often brings high blood pressure and high heart rate, adding to the feeling of constant tiredness. Anxiety can also cause sleeping troubles or insomnia, leaving you restless and low on energy. Headaches and fatigue are also common side effects that may intensify early pregnancy symptoms.

Emotionally, anxiety can bring a sense of panic, uneasiness, or even doom. Feeling overwhelmed or tense is also common. Anxiety can also bring about disinterest or difficulty focusing on daily experiences. If unmanaged, the emotional strain can also impact relationships, causing feelings of isolation and loneliness.

While anxiety can take a toll, it is not something to be feared. Practicing coping strategies can offer daily relief, and talking with a mental health professional can help you find a plan for managing anxiety long-term.

Acknowledging Your Emotions

The first step in managing anxiety during an unexpected pregnancy is to recognize and accept what you’re feeling. While processing emotions may be natural to some, it may be intimidating or confusing for many others.

Consider following these simple steps to begin processing your emotions:

Give yourself the time, space, and permission to feel.
As feelings begin to rise, let yourself feel each emotion.
Try to identify and name each emotion you’re experiencing.

When you can recognize what you’re feeling, you regain control and can develop a plan for managing each specific emotion.

Identifying Your Anxiety Triggers

Understanding what triggers your anxiety is the next key step in managing it. Triggers are people, places, or experiences that cause or intensify feelings of anxiety. Anxiety triggers are unique to each person. However, common triggers for those facing an unexpected pregnancy often include health concerns, relationship changes, and financial stability.

To recognize a trigger, practice reflective journaling . Think of a time you’ve felt suddenly panicked or anxious. Ask questions like: Who was there? Where were you? What was going on directly before? What were you feeling?

By identifying your own anxiety triggers, you can become more aware and prepared to manage the emotions that arise.

Discover Your Coping Strategies

It’s important to note that professional support can offer valuable guidance and work with you to develop coping strategies tailored to your needs and experience.

Yet, there are many effective techniques that you can do yourself. When pregnant, it’s important that you’re comfortable, and tailor each routine to your current situation. Engaging in self-care during your unexpected pregnancy is critical, and can help ease both physical and emotional symptoms of anxiety.

Other coping techniques include:

Deep breathing
Meditation
Regular exercise
Maintaining a balanced diet

Everyone’s experience with anxiety and their most effective coping techniques are unique. Avoid putting pressure on yourself, and explore what fits you and your needs best.

Find Support

Building a strong support system is essential. Research shows that feeling a sense of support can help settle anxiety over time.

Whether you find community in connecting with family or joining a support group, communicate openly and honestly about your feelings and needs. As you spend time with these safe and supportive people, reflect on your emotions. Are you feeling happier? Safer? More peaceful?

Exploring Your Options

Sometimes it can be tempting to avoid something that feels intimidating. However, learning more about your options for an unexpected pregnancy can help alleviate anxiety and uncertainty.

Avail NYC offers confidential conversations for working through your three options with a Personal Advocate . In each conversation , you can share your feelings, process your situation, and work through pros and cons of each option. The goal of each conversation is to leave you feeling empowered with resources and confidence to take the best next steps for you. Support is available.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Finding Support as a Single Parent

Fri, 14 Jun 2024 12:00:40 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Names changed for privacy reasons.

Facing an unexpected pregnancy can be a daunting experience. These fears may be multiplied if you are experiencing an unexpected pregnancy as a single parent. You may feel like this is something you have to figure out on your own, but it doesn’t have to be.

When a client comes to Avail, they get connected to a network of resources that fit their specific situation. Safe Families for Children (SFFC) is an organization that helps connect parents who feel overwhelmed and isolated to trained volunteers–called Family Friends–who support parents in their journey and connect them to a family-like community.

Joslyn’s Story

In February of 2022, Josyln, a 23 year-old single mother facing an unexpected pregnancy, was referred to SFFC by her personal advocate at Avail . With a high school diploma and limited resources, Joslyn was looking for connection, community, and security.

Joslyn was matched with Lauren, a Family Friend. As both Joslyn and Lauren committed to their friendship, the young mom began to see the benefits of her new community. During their time together, they exchanged countless texts and calls, met for family dinners, and bonded over their love of art and photography. Lauren encouraged Joslyn as she secured stable housing, pursued her realtor’s license, and navigated the ups-and-downs of an unexpected pregnancy.

At the end of their time together, Joslyn had accomplished her personal goals, connected on a deeper level with Lauren, and entered motherhood with a new sense of community and confidence. If you are a mom experiencing an unexpected pregnancy like Joslyn was, you may have some questions and concerns about how you can enter single parenthood confidently.

How Can I Receive Emotional Support During and After My Pregnancy if I Don’t Have Support People?

If you don’t have supportive family or friends in the city, the idea of navigating an unexpected pregnancy by yourself may feel scary. This is a time when you will experience a variety of changes. Your body, relationships, job situation and more may look and feel different. It’s natural to want to have someone to talk to about the many, often overwhelming emotions that may come up during this transition.

You don’t have to do it alone. At Safe Families, we want all parents to know they can have a sense of hope, support, and belonging as they navigate unique challenges. Part of our program is matching parents with Family Friends - carefully selected volunteers who want to do life with you. You’ll connect with them on a weekly basis for up to 6 months (or longer, as needed).

Family Friends will prioritize weekly calls to hear how you’re feeling, as well as in person meet-ups so you can connect face to face. Emotional support may look like weekly calls to process your feelings, or knowing you have someone to shoot a text to when things get hard. Or maybe you need tangible support like setting up a nursery space, cleaning the house, or getting childcare for a job interview.

Your Family Friend’s main goal is for you, the mother, to feel seen, supported, and cared for as you navigate an unexpected pregnancy. Every Family Friend relationship looks different, and is unique to your family and your needs.

What If I Don’t Feel Ready to be a Parent?

If you have made the decision that you want to be a parent, but don’t feel “ready,” you are not alone. An article published by BMC reported that less than 44% of parents felt confident in their parenting abilities prior to the birth of their first child. It’s important to remember that being a single parent doesn’t have to mean parenting by yourself.

At Avail, clients can process their unexpected pregnancy and their feelings about being a parent with personal advocates . Trained and experienced, personal advocates are dedicated to listening to your story, helping you process your emotions and situation, and offering helpful next steps that fit your goals. If motherhood is something you want to explore, you and your partner may be to Equip , a program for parents experiencing unexpected pregnancy.

Additionally, part of the Family Friend program at Safe Families is connecting to what we like to call a “Circle of Support.” Once you’re matched with your Family Friends, you will also connect with a Family Coach who will work with you to set goals for your time with SFFC. Attending parenting classes, finding online resources, accessing affordable counseling resources, or getting connected to local parenting groups are all realistic goals you can work towards.

Whether you’re getting support from a Personal Advocate at Avail or your Family Friend and Family Coach at SFFC, you don’t have to walk your journey alone. We will be there to help you accomplish the goals that you want to achieve. It’s our hope that your circle of support will widen as you accomplish your goals and learn more about being a parent!

I’m Worried About My Financial Situation as a Single Parent. Can I Get Help?

Yes! We understand that material support is an essential part of supporting our families. That’s why the Circle of Support is such an integral part of your place in SFFC. By being connected, you have someone you can talk to about any necessities that you may need help with.

When a need arises, we reach out to churches and community-based organizations in our network and ask for their support in filling these needs. Diapers, formula, grocery assistance, strollers, baby clothes, and children’s books are all normal asks for new parents. While we’re not always able to meet every need, we try to make sure that every parent has access to the essentials.

In addition to providing for material needs, we want parents to feel educated and empowered to make the right choices for their family. Our Parent Engagement Team hosts workshops that assist with financial literacy, help you navigate government resources, and provide additional support as you accomplish your financial goals!

Help is Available

Single parenthood is undeniably difficult. But navigating the challenges of unexpected pregnancy can be easier with a Friend by your side. Learn more about Safe Families for Children or reach out to a Personal Advocate today.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Names changed for privacy reasons.

About the Author

At Safe Families for Children , we are honored to connect with parents all across New York City. Through our partnerships with Avail and other amazing organizations, we have experienced first-hand the resiliency of mothers experiencing unexpected pregnancy, and the benefits of connecting mothers to other members of their community. Our hope is to empower parents to live out the truth that they are the experts of their children by providing support, growing social connections, and connecting them with resources.

Reclaiming Self-Worth in a World of Expectations

Sun, 12 May 2024 12:30:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

In today’s fast-paced and achievement-driven world, it can seem like personal and professional success is just out of reach. We are constantly reminded of the many expectations society has for us. Whether explicitly said, implied, or simply presented on social media or TV screens, there they are.

Impossible Expectations

Society expects us to be a career-driven, ladder-climbing go-getter with a high paying job and large, powerful network. But society also demands that we have a vibrant social life, a loving relationship and children, and time to grow ourselves. We must always be nice and pleasant, but not pushovers. We have to stand firm on our boundaries but also not come off as dismissive and closed off. We can’t mess up–whatever that may mean.

The mental, emotional, and even physical toll of these conflicting and unattainable expectations can leave us feeling like we’re falling short in one area or another, failing, exhausted, and inadequate.

The Conditional Worth Trap

Without even realizing it, these pressures offer a warped mirror that distorts our sense of self-worth, inherent value, and core identity. This makes it easy to fall into a habit of criticizing ourselves and pushing ourselves to do, be, or accomplish more. Our worthiness has now become conditional and this is deeply problematic.

We have forgotten that we did not create ourselves, and that we are limited creatures. Take a moment to think about the creation that you are. The way you breathe without thinking about it, the way your eyes are uniquely colored and patterned, the way that you can relate to others and build friendship. The creation that we are is rather breathtaking.

Remembering Truth

In a world so consumed with shifting expectations and ideas, remembering that there is an unwavering standard of truth is essential. This truth is not based on societal pressures or personal opinions. Our perspectives of ourselves do not define us.

We are always changing and growing. The person we were five seconds ago no longer exists. As scary as that may sound, it is actually a beautiful thing. Releasing ourselves from our pasts gives us the opportunity to focus on growth and reminds us that our value is unchanging and comes from within.

Rooting Self-Worth in Reality

It’s important to pause and reflect. Ask yourself, what is beneath your desire to be great in this world? Processing and answering this question can help you define your worth and value regardless of your situations. When you don’t meet a deadline, let someone down, or don’t land the job, remember that you still have value. When you cross your own boundary you have been working so hard to keep–you still have worth.

Our purpose in this life is profoundly foundational, but the task we are given can change daily. If our purpose and our worth were conditional, we would not be able to adjust to life’s challenging seasons or the duties of the day. Maybe today you are simply being asked to be a good friend. Maybe you're simply being asked to be a loving mother, father, daughter, or son.

Unchanging Value

But if you find yourself losing your temper, not demonstrating the most loving behavior–you still have worth. Really. The way we show love and dignity is unique to us, but never forget that you are far more magnificent than mere emotions.

Your inherent value and root of your worth is a firm, foundational truth. You are not able to change that, regardless of your situation. Your value has simply just been there since the beginning.

You Don’t Have to Do it Alone

The constant demands and pressures around us can warp our view of our worth, value, and identity. If you are navigating an unexpected pregnancy or a past abortion experience, know that you do not have to journey alone.

Avail NYC ’s team of highly trained and compassionate Personal Advocates are here to listen and support you through every step, free of charge. When challenges arise, your advocate can encourage you and help you remember your inherent value and worth. Your advocate can also equip you with tools and resources that fit your experience, empowering you to envision a hopeful future and reclaim your story.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

I’m Pregnant and Considering Adoption

Sun, 05 May 2024 15:36:54 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Facing an unexpected pregnancy can come with many challenges. For many, one of the biggest may be understanding all the options thoroughly and accurately. Women can often feel alone and unsure of where to turn to find unbiased truth and fact-based information, rather than personal opinion.

If you are pregnant and considering adoption, you might be in a “fact-finding” phase. A time of simply wanting to understand more about adoption before deciding your next steps with the pregnancy. You’re on the right track! You’re showing great strength in being willing to learn and not rush into any decision. This is indeed an important choice that deserves a thoughtful approach.

Myth vs. Reality

First, let’s work through some common myths so that you have a better understanding of what adoption is and are prepared for conversations with well-intentioned friends and family members who might hold these perspectives.

Myth 1: Adoption equals foster care

One common misconception about adoption is that it is the same as foster care . In foster care, a child could move from one home to another without the consent of the birth mother. The goal of foster care is temporary placement into a foster home and eventual reunification with biological family.

However, this is not the goal of adoption. Adoption is a legal, permanent placement into a family that does not change. Adoption aims to offer the child a nurturing environment and stability, and gives you the power to choose a loving home.

Myth 2: Adoption means abandoning your child

Another misconception is that adoption is selfish, essentially abandoning a child. This is why some women say they couldn’t consider the option; they feel that their child would someday hate them for the choice.

This view often stems from a lack of understanding of the adoption process. When people think of adoption, they often think of a closed adoption , one in which the birth parents do not know or have contact with the child. However, an open adoption–a kind of adoption in which the biological parents and the adoptive families share information about the child and have an option of contact–is a possibility. Adoption can be structured in a wide variety of ways to make sure both parties are comfortable with the process.

A woman who is considering adoption is making a plan for her child, not abandoning or being flippant about any responsibility. In fact, most women who choose adoption are making that choice from a place of selfLESSness rather than selfishness. They are choosing parents for their child, when they would often rather parent themselves… but they determine that trying to do it themselves may not be in the best interest of their child.

Choice is empowering

This leads us to talk about how modern adoption is largely driven by an expectant mother’s choice. As these women move forward with adoption, they select the family to raise their child, determine what their time in the hospital after birth will look like, and how open they want to be with the adoptive family and child.

Recognizing this choice is empowering. For those who would typically see their options as only parenting or abortion, a better understanding allows them to see adoption, a third option, through a more accurate lens.

The role of the expectant father

Expectant fathers can also play a significant role in the adoption process. If you are considering adoption and your partner wants to support you in your decision, there are many ways to get involved. Learning the truths offers a solid understanding of the path ahead. If you are comfortable, you may ask him to participate in the process of choosing a family as well. As you determine your own preferences, know that he may work through his own openness plan, which could include receiving email updates, photos, and having visits.

Regardless of the relationship between the two biological parents, each can participate in their child’s life, both now and in the future.

Weighing your options

If you’re not sure of your next steps but exploring your options , consider making a pro and con list. While adoption may not be the right choice for every woman, it could be a beautiful way to show love without having to be the one parenting. You will have your own specific circumstances, but some of the pros to adoption can look like:

Bright Futures Ahead: My child can go on to have a full life with a family, developing into a unique individual.
Financial Freedom: The future financial responsibility for this child will be upheld by the adoptive family.
Uninterrupted Goals: I will be able to continue my educational and professional goals.
Future Relationship: I can still have a relationship with my child, and they will know that I made this choice out of love.
Control of Future Family: I will get to choose the family that I want to raise my child.

However, as with all options for an unexpected pregnancy, there are challenges. Some realistic cons might be:

Emotional Toll: This will be a hard decision, and I know I will go through a grieving process, even if I believe it is in the best interest of my child.
Distant Parenting: I will miss witnessing the milestones of this child's life in the typical way of parenting.
Outside Opinions: Others may not understand my choice. However, I can't control the opinions of people in my life.

Support after an adoption

Regardless of your decision, we know there is no easy option. If you choose to work with an adoption agency and create an adoption plan, ask your agency about available post-adoption counseling and support. Having that support can be incredibly important for you in the following weeks, months, and years.

Give yourself permission to accept the amount of support you need at the time, and know that it may evolve over time. You may need more regular support at the beginning, and only occasional connection later on, but having someone who understands the reality of your grief can help you to process it in a healthy way.

You don't have to face this alone

If you are facing an unexpected pregnancy, support is available. Whether you’re considering an adoption or just wanting to explore and weigh your options, talking with care expert at Avail can offer clarity, resources, and connections for your next steps. Get support today.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

About the Author

Kristin McCool serves as the National Pregnancy Counseling Manager with Lifeline Children’s Services . Lifeline provides options counseling to women around the country who are in unexpected pregnancies, helping them through the adoption planning process if they so desire. Lifeline also serves potential adoptive families considering both domestic and international adoption and provides post-adoption support to birth families as well as adoptive families.

Making a Decision? Let Your Values Lead the Way

Fri, 05 Apr 2024 12:31:57 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Throughout life, we often find ourselves at crossroads, facing decisions that could significantly change our path forward. If you find yourself facing an unexpected pregnancy, you know that it could qualify as one of these big choices. During these times, the many outside pressures and inner turmoil can cloud our judgment, making it difficult to see the way forward.

This is where the power of value-based decision-making shines the brightest. It provides clarity that can act as a light in the darkness. When we prioritize our own values, we can make sure that the choices we make fit with our core beliefs and long-term goals.

What is Value-Based Decision Making?

In short, value-based decision making is the process of making choices that line up with your beliefs and goals so that your decisions reflect what’s most meaningful to you.

It's a process that respects our individuality, acknowledging that each person's values are as unique as their fingerprint. These values, whether they center on family, integrity, compassion, or personal growth, serve as a guidepost for making decisions that feel right on a fundamental level.

Does it Really Work?

According to psychologists and decision-making experts, aligning decisions with our values leads to more fulfilling outcomes and less regret . These benefits stem from choices that are a reflection of who we are, and ensure that our decisions aren’t based on a moment’s emotions or external pressures.

In their workbook , Dr. Barbara Markway–a clinical psychologist–and Celia Ampel write, “Values are the principles that give our lives meaning and allow us to persevere through adversity.” They show us that your values can act as your compass, especially when your best next steps aren’t always clear.

Identifying Your Core Values

The first step in value-based decision making is identifying your core beliefs and values. This reflective process involves peeling back the layers of societal expectations, pressures you feel from friends and family, and personal experiences to uncover what truly matters to you.

To determine your values, think back to the times in your life when you've felt the most fulfilled, proud, or at peace. What were you doing? Who were you with? What values were being honored in those moments? Take a look at this list and ask yourself the following questions:

What accomplishments or acts in my life have made me feel fulfilled? Why?
When life’s been hard, what principles do I refuse to compromise?
When do I feel the most connected and true to myself?
What values do I admire most about my close friends and family?

Prioritizing What’s Most Important

After making your list of values, the next step is prioritization. It's natural to feel that many values are important to you, but figuring out which beliefs are most important to you helps clarify which values are truly non-negotiable. Try making a list of your top 10 in order of what’s most valuable to you. If you feel stuck between two, ask yourself: If I had to choose, which one would I lean towards more?

This doesn’t mean that values that are lower on the list are less important. It just helps you better understand yourself and which of your values play the biggest roles when you make decisions.

The Role of Values in Facing Unexpected Pregnancy

In moments like facing an unexpected pregnancy, your values can help cut through the confusion and offer a clear direction based on what truly matters to you. By grounding your decision in your values, you create a foundation of inner peace and certainty, regardless of the external noise.

Overcoming External Pressures and Doubts

Sometimes the noise we hear on the outside is from voices we recognize, and other times it’s a felt pressure from a bigger system. External pressures can come from anywhere or anyone, including society, family, coworkers, friends, or even our doctors and nurses. Even our inner critic can introduce doubts and pressures that can sway us from making a decision we can be confident in.

The key is to recognize these influences for what they are: external inputs and fears that should not outweigh your own values and beliefs. When you listen to your own voice and stay true to what’s important to you, you’ll move forward knowing your next steps are right for you.

The Role of Support Systems

When navigating life’s difficult decisions, support systems of friends, family, or organizations like Avail NYC , play a crucial role. Instead of another voice that adds pressure and uncertainty, they offer understanding, compassion, and validation. Avail’s Personal Advocates are experts in walking with you through your journey and helping you explore your values, options, and how they might align.

You’re Not Alone

If you're standing at a crossroads facing an unexpected pregnancy, remember, you're not alone. Avail exists to support you, offering guidance and resources that honor your values and choices. We are committed to helping you find and center on your voice, and take next steps that feel right for you. Reach out today to explore how we can empower you to make the best decision for you.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Practicing Self-Care During an Unexpected Pregnancy

Fri, 22 Mar 2024 17:37:50 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Discovering an unexpected pregnancy can be a complicated life event that can suddenly bring up a rush or emotions. During this time, it's important to prioritize your mental, emotional, and physical health. When you choose to care for yourself, you allow yourself a healthy way to cope, space to process, and strength to take next steps. Let’s explore practical guidance and strategies for self-care during this chapter of your life.

Acknowledging and Understanding Your Emotions

It's entirely normal to experience a sudden whirlwind of thoughts and feelings after the news of an unexpected pregnancy. Whether you're feeling overwhelmed, excited, or a complex mix of emotions, noticing and naming these feelings is crucial. Give yourself permission to have these feelings without judgment.

There are healthy and unhealthy ways to experience your emotions. Some find it tempting to let themselves over-indulge their emotions, letting their feelings dictate the truths they hold and the next steps they take. Others push down their emotions entirely, building up the emotions despite repressing their feelings in order to ‘get through’ their situation. Although both are common responses, we encourage you to instead find a healthy way to experience your emotions.

When you let yourself experience each emotion, truly connect with what you’re feeling. Give yourself the time and space to feel and process the emotion, but remember that you are in control of your feelings. If you find yourself spiraling or losing control of your emotions, find a way to restore calm. Practicing grounding techniques or engaging in prayer can be helpful when regaining control.

Engaging in Mindfulness and Relaxation

Managing your stress levels is a critical part of caring for yourself. When you allow your brain to process and put off some of the stress, you’ll find yourself better able to process, happier, and more hopeful.

To reduce stress, consider trying meditation or deep-breathing exercises . Activities like reading, lighting a candle, listening to calming music, or even just sitting comfortably with your eyes closed can also serve as therapeutic processes for releasing the stresses of daily life.

Prioritizing Physical Health

Practicing physical self-care is just as important as caring for your mental and emotional load. An unexpected pregnancy can bring many physical changes, and each deserves careful attention as you decide your next steps. Avail NYC is not a medical provider, but we can offer referrals for free or low-cost OB/GYN appointments. Regular consultations with a trusted healthcare provider are highly recommended. Caring for yourself physically can also look like eating a nutritious diet, staying active, and getting enough sleep every night.

Finding a Safe Support Person

When life takes a new turn, having someone to lean on can make all the difference. Think of friends, family members, and other loved ones who respect your feelings without judgment or pressure and can provide the encouragement you need. Who do you feel comfortable sharing your news with?

If no one comes to mind, know that you don’t have to walk through an unexpected pregnancy alone. Avail’s professionally-trained, compassionate team of personal advocates are here to help you navigate the journey ahead. Whether you need a listening ear, someone to process your feelings with, or guidance on next steps that feel right for you, our advocates are available. Our community of connections and wide network of resources can offer personal and tangible support for each step.

Empowering Yourself Through Education

Some may find comfort in understanding what to expect during pregnancy and exploring options. Online sites such as the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) or the Mayo Clinic often offer comprehensive information, but personalized support surrounding pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting can be found at Equip . Learning about the journey ahead can empower you to process and prepare for each twist and turn and allow you to take next steps with confidence.

Planning and Prioritizing

If planning reduces stress and helps you regain a sense of control, it can certainly qualify as a way to practice self-care. When it comes to an unexpected pregnancy, planning means reevaluating immediate and future plans so that you can set a healthy foundation for a confident future. This can include adjusting financial budgets, shifting career goals, and reflecting on personal relationships. Determining your most important beliefs and values can help you organize these new priorities and maintain a sense of control over your life. When you let your core values lead the way , what matters most to you becomes clear and paves the way for your next steps.

Establishing Boundaries

Setting clear and healthy boundaries is often a helpful step for many when caring for their emotional and mental health. To set a boundary , start by communicating your needs and your limits to those around you. Sharing what you need and what you’re able to do helps others understand you and gives you an atmosphere of support.

The boundaries you set should be whatever feels right for you. For many, boundaries might involve asking for space, defining the kind of support you find helpful, asking others to refrain from sharing unsolicited opinions or advice, or distancing yourself from negative relationships .

Celebrating Each Step

Every moment spent processing, every step forward, and every small victory on your journey deserves recognition and celebration. This could be as small as spending 2 minutes processing or as big as attending a prenatal appointment. These moments are valid, and showcase your resilience. Remember that celebrating each of these steps reflects your immense strength and bravery.

Choosing to celebrate the small victories comes with a host of benefits . You’ll feel a sense of accomplishment and your mood will be boosted. If you choose to keep a journal, you can look back on each entry and see the strength you’ve shown the obstacles you’ve overcome. This can give you a sense of hope, motivation, and resilience as you move forward.

Connecting with Avail NYC for Personalized Support

As you navigate the challenges and changes that come with an unexpected pregnancy, remember that you don’t have to face it alone. Avail NYC’s team of compassionate and trained Personal Advocates is here to walk alongside you every step of the way. Whether you need a private conversation to explore your options, referrals to resources that fit your situation, or just someone to listen without judgment, Avail NYC is here to help you take the best next steps for you with confidence.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Communicating When Your Partner Disagrees

Sat, 09 Mar 2024 12:30:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

We all know that relationships can be tricky, and one of the biggest challenges is how to respond in a healthy way when our partner has an opinion that differs from ours . It’s easy to become defensive or start arguing, but there are healthier ways to handle these situations.

When facing an unexpected pregnancy in a relationship, communication becomes not just a tool but a bridge between conflicting perspectives. Communication offers a means to navigate through the waves of emotions and thoughts, and a pathway to understanding and support.

Recognizing the Disagreements

Sometimes, disagreements can start because of differences in personal values, envisioned life paths, and coping abilities.

Each person in a relationship will benefit from reflecting on where their perspective stems from. Consider asking yourself, how tightly am I holding on to the life I’ve imagined for myself? Am I making a decision because of what I’ve wanted in the past, or am I open to exploring my options now? What do I value most? Why?

Once you and your partner have both thought about these questions privately, make a note of your answers and find a time to talk again. When the other person shares, simply listen. Recognizing these differences is the first step towards healthy communication.

Balancing Emotions and Logic

When disagreements get out of hand, it is often because of the imbalance between being both emotional and rational . Both emotions and logic deserve to be involved in disagreements, but they serve different purposes.

When we incorporate emotions in disagreements, it allows us to understand and empathize with our partner's feelings. Meanwhile, using logic or rationality helps us engage with their thoughts and reasoning.

The Role of Coping

Each partner's ability to cope with the situation – whether they feel overwhelmed, stable, or somewhere in between – plays a key role in how well they’re able to find this balance and what’s needed from the other partner.

Someone feeling overwhelmed or confused may have a greater need for a supportive and understanding approach. Yet someone who might take a more explorer-like or stable stance may benefit from open and honest communication that respects their need for information and support in decision-making.

Both are deeply personal and valid responses to a big life event, and makes navigating a conversation with care very important.

Building Bridges Through Communication

Effective communication during a disagreement involves several key strategies:

Listening Actively: Beyond hearing the words your partner says, try to understand the emotions and thoughts behind them. Active listening involves acknowledging their feelings, asking open-ended questions, and summarizing their points to show that you truly understand their perspective. Consider asking questions like, “I’m hearing you say _____. Am I understanding you correctly?” and listen to the response.
Expressing Your Feelings and Thoughts Clearly: When you share, try to use "I" statements to express your own feelings and thoughts. This small change in how you share can help avoid placing blame or making assumptions about your partner's intentions. Often, this encourages a more empathetic response and reduces defensive reactions.
Seeking Common Ground: Finding common values or goals can help both partners feel more connected and open to compromise. Focusing on working together to find a solution that respects both partners' needs and concerns will lead to the best outcome.
Emphasizing Empathy and Support: Especially in situations of unexpected pregnancy, showing empathy towards each other's feelings and fears is key. Regardless of the decision ahead, knowing that you share mutual support and understanding can make a big difference in how both partners act and react.
Using Conflict as an Opportunity for Growth: When you’re in the middle of a disagreement, it can be easy to focus on the differences. Instead, try to reframe your perspective and see the disagreement as an opportunity to understand each other better and strengthen the relationship. By navigating through these challenges together, partners can develop deeper trust and resilience.

The Role of External Support

Oftentimes, it’s important for each partner to have their own support network as well as one that they can both come to for neutral guidance.

Friends, family, or professionals can often be useful support people, but may be inaccessible for others. The personal advocates at Avail NYC are available for everyone, free of cost.

Each partner can come separately to process or you both may choose to talk with an advocate together. Whether you want to process an unexpected pregnancy or work toward a healthy relationship , there is a space for you.

Remember, the goal of communication in the face of disagreement is not to win an argument but to find a path forward that honors both partners' feelings, needs, and values. It requires patience, empathy, and a willingness to listen and adapt. By fostering a supportive and understanding environment, partners can navigate even the most challenging disagreements with dignity and respect.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

I’m Pregnant but Not Ready to be a Mom

Sat, 24 Feb 2024 20:46:44 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

An unexpected pregnancy can rank as one of the biggest life-changing experiences someone can face. For some, the timing doesn’t feel right .

If you’re having thoughts like, "I'm pregnant, but I don’t want to be a mom," or “I’m pregnant, but I’m not ready to be a mom,” you’re not alone . Feelings like this can come with a complex mix of emotions, ranging from disbelief and confusion to guilt and isolation. Whatever you’re feeling, know that there is hope. Let’s explore how you can navigate this chapter with compassion and healthy processing.

Embracing Your Emotions

The initial realization of an unexpected pregnancy can bring on a flood of emotions. Give yourself permission to feel these emotions. When you allow yourself to fully experience these feelings, you actually do yourself a favor . Rather than suppressing your emotions, bringing them in and processing them gives you the opportunity to overcome and release those feelings.

Whatever you’re feeling – fear, anger, sadness, shame, or even a sense of relief in acknowledging your true feelings – these emotions are valid and understandable responses to a big discovery. Your feelings don’t define your character or dictate the path you must choose.

Instead, this time of letting yourself feel is an opportunity for reflection. Think about what you want, what you fear, and what your core values are that guide your life. Make sure that the values you label as most important are truly yours, and not those of your social circle or society. When you know what guides you, you’ll be better equipped to make a decision that you can stand by confidently.

Finding Safe Support People

Once you’ve processed your emotions, it’s important to have support. Sometimes it can be hard to know who to trust , but think of people – whether friends, family members, or professional counselors – who can provide support and guidance without judgment.

If you’re not sure who to talk to or feel isolated, you don’t have to do this alone. The personal advocates at Avail NYC are trained, compassionate experts who can help you think through who to talk to for support and offer their own unbiased support through every step.

A safe space where you can openly express your thoughts and emotions without pressure is invaluable.

Considering Your Options with Care

When unexpectedly pregnant, slowing down and stepping back to assess what's best for you, both now and in the future is essential. Whether considering parenting, adoption, or abortion, each path carries its own set of emotional and practical challenges.

Thoroughly research each option to make an informed decision that resonates with your personal beliefs and goals. For those leaning towards abortion, consider taking time to understand the procedure, pills , aftermath , safety , and importance of aligning the decision with your personal values.

Making an Informed and Personal Decision

Avail NYC is committed to helping you make a decision that you can feel confident in. We understand that making a decision is complex, and often difficult. It requires careful consideration of your immediate emotions and long-term goals. Allow yourself the time to weigh the pros and cons of each option, considering their potential impacts on your life and the lives of others. It's okay to experience doubt or change your mind; the goal is to make sure that your decision feels right for you.

Talking with an advocate who is trained to help present each option without judgment or pressure, listen to your thoughts and feelings, offer helpful resources and connections, and work through challenges can offer a stable foundation for you to build from. You choose what you feel best aligns with your values and goals.

Please note that Avail NYC is not a medical provider, and that you should contact a medical professional for all medical information and advice.

Looking to the Future

Facing the reality of not wanting or not being ready to be a mom during an unexpected pregnancy is undeniably challenging. It may leave you feeling like you’re standing at a crossroads, not sure of which path to take.

Yet, by acknowledging your emotions, seeking out support, exploring your options, and making an informed decision, you can navigate this chapter with grace and peace of mind. It's an opportunity to grow and gain clarity. Whatever path you choose, know that it's possible to move forward with resilience and hope .

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Who Should I Share My Story With?

Sat, 17 Feb 2024 21:44:01 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Sometimes, moments come that shape us in big ways. These experiences challenge and change us, and can cause us to doubt and isolate ourselves. For some, facing an unexpected pregnancy or navigating the emotional aftermath of an abortion experience can often be one of these pivotal moments.

When you’re feeling a whirlwind of emotions, thoughts, and decisions, you might ask yourself, “Who should I trust with my story?” If you find it hard to answer, you’re not alone. Nearly everyone can think of a time when their trust has been betrayed. But, you deserve to share your story with confidence.

Understanding Your Own Needs

Before deciding with whom to share your story, take a moment to reflect. What are you hoping to gain from the exchange? Understanding, empathy, advice, or just a shoulder to lean on?

Recognizing your needs is the first step in identifying the right person to confide in. Sharing your story should primarily be a means for finding support and healing, rather than pleasing someone else.

Identifying Supportive People in Your Life

Think about the people who surround you. Who has consistently been supportive? Who listens without judgment? This could be a close friend, a family member, or even your partner.

These individuals often create a safe space for vulnerability, offering the empathy and understanding needed during such a sensitive time. Think about those who have shared hard things with you in the past. They may be more likely to appreciate the trust you're placing in them by sharing your story.

Knowing Who to Trust With Your Story

As you think about who to share your story with, it’s important to make sure that you can trust them .

Dr. Henry Cloud is a leading expert on trust, and recently published his insights in his book, Trust: Knowing When to Give It, When to Withhold It, How to Earn It, and How to Fix It When It Gets Broken. He writes out his five main pillars of trust , ultimately concluding that someone who is trustworthy has prioritized understanding, a good intent, the skills needed to accomplish the task, integrity, and a track record of being able to be trusted.

Empathy, consistency, confidentiality, non-judgmental support, and wisdom are key traits to look for. As you think about sharing your story, ask yourself if you’ve observed these qualities in their behavior. You may want to consider protecting your story from those who exhibit red flags, such as a tendency to gossip or judge.

Trust is built over time, and it's crucial to choose someone who has demonstrated these qualities consistently.

Preparing to Share Your Story

After you choose a person to share your story with, it’s important to prepare. Approaching the conversation about your experience is a big step and how you do so can impact your emotional well-being.

A simple statement that expresses your need to share something personal is often a good place to start. This will set the tone for a respectful and attentive dialogue. Be clear about what you need from the listener, whether it's advice, silence, or empathy. Consider something as simple as, “I’d like to share something really personal with you. Do you have time right now to just listen?”

As you prepare, know that listeners might experience and show a range of reactions. It's okay to stop the conversation if it becomes too much or if the response is not what you expected.

Taking Care of Yourself Throughout the Process

Throughout your sharing process, caring for yourself should be your first priority. Seek out activities and practices that nourish your soul and mind. Many practice self care by engaging in creative outlets, spending time in nature, or practicing mindfulness and meditation.

Remember, seeking help and support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Allow yourself the space to feel, heal, and grow at your own pace. It's a journey that does not have a fixed timeline.

The Power of Sharing Your Story

Opening up about personal experiences can be incredibly powerful. It not only helps in your own healing process but can also encourage others to share their stories, reducing stigma and fostering a supportive community.

By sharing, you add another chapter to a larger story that can inspire change, both within yourself and in the world around you. Your story has the unique power to touch lives in ways you might not have expected, providing comfort to others who feel isolated in their experiences.

Considering Professional and Community Support

Sometimes, the support we need goes beyond our immediate circle. Professional counselors or therapists, especially those specialized in reproductive health, can offer invaluable guidance and a non-biased ear.

Additionally, support groups—both in-person and online —connect you with other women and men facing similar situations, offering a sense of community and understanding.

These spaces are designed to be safe havens for sharing your experiences. You’ll be understood and free to share without having to explain yourself.

You’re Not Alone

Choosing who to share your story with is a deeply personal decision, influenced by your emotional needs, the trustworthiness of those around you, and the type of support you need. If you’re facing an unexpected pregnancy or want support after an abortion, talk with an Avail NYC Personal Advocate.

Each advocate is trained to help you talk through who to trust and how to share your story, if you feel like you’re ready for that step. Equipped to help you take a look at your friends, family members, and partner, or connect you to a professional, your advocate can help you find the right person who will respect your story and offer the understanding and empathy you deserve.

Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Avail NYC is a safe space waiting to support you, every step of the way. Sharing your story is a choice that only you can make, and one that is a big step toward embracing yourself. By carefully thinking through who to trust with your experiences, you ensure that this step is both empowering and healing, opening the door to a community of support and understanding.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

How to Cope with an Abortion and Find Support in NYC

Mon, 15 Jan 2024 13:45:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

An abortion experience can be incredibly complex, filled with a wide range of emotions and unique circumstances. While it may seem like most people feel relief after an abortion, the reality is that people experience a lot of complex feelings.

Some of these feelings may arise immediately, while others may surface days, weeks or even years later. There is no “right” way to feel after an abortion - your emotions are valid, even if they are unexpected or don’t match what you think you “should” feel.

Society often silences post-abortion distress, portraying abortion as a clear-cut decision with minimal emotional impact. But the truth is that abortion affects people differently. This experience deserves thoughtful processing and care, not judgment or dismissal.

If you are struggling to make sense of your emotions after an abortion, know that you are not alone. This article provides an overview of common post-abortion feelings, suggestions for self-care, and resources like Avail NYC that can support you through the processing of this complex experience.

Normalizing Complex Emotions

It's normal to experience a wide range of emotions after an abortion. Some common feelings include relief, sadness, anger, guilt, or emptiness. Your emotions may seem confusing or even contradictory. Give yourself permission to feel everything without having to immediately understand.

Remember that your feelings are valid, whatever they may be. You are not alone. Many people struggle to process their abortion experience and the associated emotions. Give yourself permission to feel whatever comes up, without judgment or shame. Emotions are neither "good" nor "bad." They simply exist.

Seeking to understand, accept, and care for yourself as you work through this challenging experience is an act of courage and self-compassion. Be patient, take things one day at a time, and know that you have the inner resources to find meaning and integration.

Grief and Loss

It's common to grieve after an abortion . Abortion can bring up many complex emotions and a sense of loss. Even if you felt like abortion was the right decision for you at the time, you may still experience grief and a feeling of emptiness. Grief is a natural response to loss - and with abortion there can be many losses to grieve, whether it's the loss of potential, a vision for the future, or hopes and dreams connected to pregnancy and parenthood.

The grief may come in waves or hit all at once. You may struggle with feelings of regret, guilt, anger or profound sadness. Know that these feelings are normal, even years after the abortion.

Don't judge or berate yourself. Be gentle, patient and grant yourself grace as you process the grief. Find people who will listen without judgment and offer real support. Consider joining a support group or seeing a counselor to help work through the grief in a productive way. There are many who understand what you're going through. You don't need to walk this road alone.

Shame and Stigma

When abortion is discussed, it’s often in broad, impersonal terms about rights and laws. But for the person experiencing it, abortion can be a deeply personal and emotional experience.

There’s often stigma and taboo around abortion in society. Whether people debate it openly or consider it unspeakable, the stigma may make people feel judged or condemned. This can also add to feelings of shame for someone already struggling with complex emotions.

Many women and men choose to keep their abortion private due to fear of social side effects. They may worry what loved ones or community members will think if they find out. However, this secrecy and isolation can intensify feelings of shame and make healing more difficult. It takes courage to open up about one's experience, but sharing with trusted, non-judgmental listeners can help to release shame.

No one should have to face stigma or condemnation for making a difficult personal decision. Abortion may stir up strong emotions, but shaming only causes more hurt. When stories are told without fear or judgment, stigma, or condemnation, compassion and connections flourish. This allows for authentic healing.

Seeking Support

If you’ve had an abortion experience, know that you don't have to process it alone . Seeking support can help you work through the complex feelings that may arise.

One of the most important things is to identify supportive people in your life who will listen without judgment. Confide in someone you trust: a friend, family member, partner, mentor, mental health professional, or faith leader. Find communities, in-person or online, of others who have had similar experiences.

Connecting with people who understand can provide much-needed comfort and reassurance. You don't need to hide your story or pretend to "move on." Give yourself permission to authentically grieve if needed.

Lean on your support system during the more difficult times. Talk about what happened, how you feel, what you're struggling with, or what you need. Let them reassure and encourage you. Though it may seem hard at first, vocalizing your thoughts and feelings can be very cathartic. You may be surprised by the amount of care expressed.

You have people rooting for you - don't forget to reach out. Sharing your experience with loved ones can help lighten the emotional load and nurture your healing process. You don't need to walk this path alone.

Self-Care

The grieving process after an abortion can be emotionally and physically taxing. That's why self-care is crucial during this time. Here are some self-care practices to help you process the grief:

J ournaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you work through the grief. Journal about your emotions, questions, doubts, etc.
Exercise: Physical activity releases endorphins which can boost your mood. Take a walk, do some yoga, lift weights - find movement that makes you feel good.
Get outdoors: Spending time in nature can be calming and therapeutic. Take a hike, go to the beach, walk through a park or garden. Breathe in the fresh air.
Pamper Yourself: Do something nourishing just for you - take a bubble bath, get a massage, cook a nice meal. You deserve some special care.
Limit media consumption: Take a break from nonstop news and social media. Overexposure can heighten anxiety.
Connect with supportive people: Share your feelings with trusted friends and family who will listen without judgment.
Consider counseling: Speaking with a therapist can help facilitate the healing process.
Get enough rest: Grief can be exhausting. Make sure you're allowing your body the sleep it needs.

With patience and self-compassion, you can move through the grief. Take it one day at a time.

Finding Meaning and Hope

A common struggle after abortion is finding meaning in the experience. Women and men can feel conflicted because society often portrays abortion as an inherently negative event. However, many later say that the experience contributes to their sense of purpose, meaning and personal growth.

Seeking a greater purpose is an important part of processing complex emotions like grief. Reflecting on your abortion experience can help uncover positive insights. For example, the abortion may have given you a deeper appreciation of life's fragility and preciousness. Or it may have clarified your personal values and goals.

With time and self-compassion, most people feel their abortion experience gave them more wisdom, strength and resilience. Though the emotions can be challenging, meaning and personal growth helps with processing grief. Reframing your abortion as an important life event can help restore hope and empowerment.

Many people experience renewed hope and meaning after processing their abortion experience. Though the grief may feel overwhelming at first, know that you can get through this difficult time. With the right support and tools for self-care, the pain will lessen, and you can move forward with more wisdom and compassion.

You Don’t Have to Do it Alone

Avail NYC provides free, confidential emotional support and guidance to women and men who've had an abortion experience. Our caring network understands the complex emotions that can come with these experiences.

Avail NYC's services include:

Judgment-free emotional support and counseling with trained Advocates who have been through their own journey of loss and renewal. We're here to listen without an agenda.
Support groups that allow you to share experiences and insights in a safe, understanding environment. There's comfort in knowing you're not alone.
Referrals to professional mental health services, with sliding scale fees available, helping you access the additional care you may need.
Practical resources to process your experience and the range of emotions that may accompany it. Regain a sense of hope, purpose, and confidence.

If you or a loved one are carrying feelings of grief, guilt, anxiety, or depression after an unexpected pregnancy, Avail NYC is here. Reach out any time to talk to an advocate completely confidentially. The first step is making the call.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

¿Qué es lo “normal” después de un aborto?

Tue, 19 Dec 2023 20:35:24 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Si recientemente ha pensado en abortar o ha abortado, es normal que quiera saber qué puede ocurrir después del procedimiento. Sin embargo, es importante recordar que lo “normal” es subjetivo y varía. Cada persona es especial y tiene su propio pasado y sus propias circunstancias, por lo que las emociones que experimentan suelen ser muy diversas.

Comprender el espectro emocional

El abanico de emociones que una persona puede experimentar después de un aborto es muy amplio. Hay quienes experimentan alivio y una sensación de empoderamiento, porque toman la decisión en función de sus circunstancias de vida actuales. Otras personas pueden enfrentarse a una combinación compleja de tristeza, culpa, dolor o confusión y tienen que lidiar con el peso emocional de su elección. Incluso puede que algunos experimenten una sensación contradictoria, que les haga sentirse mal por el peso de la decisión, aunque piensen que es lo mejor para ellos.

Estas emociones pueden cambiar con el tiempo a medida que cada persona procesa y aprende a reconstruir su historia. Sin embargo, es fundamental que entienda que su respuesta emocional es singular y válida, independientemente de su situación. Cada emoción es una respuesta natural y personal a un acontecimiento de vida significativo y merece ser reconocida y procesada.

El proceso de duelo y curación

El duelo es una respuesta natural que experimentan muchas personas después de un aborto. Este duelo puede adoptar muchas formas , desde las lágrimas hasta una reflexión profunda, pasando por el aturdimiento. Para algunos, es reconfortante hablar de sus sentimientos con personas de confianza, mientras que otros prefieren escribir en un diario o reflexionar.

Sanar es un proceso particular para cada persona y no sigue un orden cronológico fijo. Permítase procesar sus emociones de un modo que considere adecuado para usted. Esto puede significar explorar diversos mecanismos de afrontamiento con un asesor personal o buscar apoyo profesional para hacer frente a sus sentimientos.

Resiliencia y fortaleza

Reflexionar sobre su historia personal de resiliencia y valentía puede ser una fuente de empoderamiento.

En tiempos difíciles, puede ser difícil reconocer su fortaleza, pero usted es capaz de hacerlo. Recuerde momentos en los que se enfrentó a un reto, tomó decisiones difíciles o superó obstáculos. Cada uno de estos recuerdos es una prueba de su fortaleza, su valentía y su capacidad para hacer cosas difíciles.

Afrontar las presiones internas y externas

Mientras procesa estas emociones, puede que tenga que enfrentarse a sentimientos de juicio o críticas, tanto propios como ajenos. Las normas culturales y las expectativas de sus familiares, amigos e incluso de la sociedad pueden tener un gran peso y causar sentimientos de culpa o vergüenza. Aunque estas opiniones pueden parecer muy fuertes, no reflejan la complejidad de su situación y no definen quién es usted.

Es importante afrontar estos sentimientos, reconociéndolos como un componente normal del proceso. No tiene que arrepentirse de su aborto para necesitar apoyo emocional. Ordenar sus sentimientos no resueltos, los buenos, los malos y los complicados, es el primer paso para recuperar su historia y estamos aquí para ayudar.

Avail NYC tiene el orgullo de ofrecer un grupo de apoyo para mujeres que han abortado y quieren conocer a otras personas con historias similares. También damos citas individuales con asesores capacitados en escucha reflexiva, herramientas de autocuidado para que pueda procesar su experiencia con confianza y grupos de apoyo presenciales para que pueda conocer a otros neoyorquinos que comprenden por lo que está pasando. Hable con un asesor y conéctese.

El impacto de las creencias y los valores personales

Las creencias y los valores personales también influyen mucho en la forma en que las personas procesan un aborto.

Muchas veces, las personas pueden tener conflictos o presiones internos, sobre todo si la decisión de abortar se contradice con sus valores más arraigados o con sus proyectos de vida. Este conflicto puede presentarse en forma de dudas, sentimientos de culpa o cuestionamientos sobre sus verdaderas creencias.

La introspección puede ser un paso crucial para manejar estas emociones. Tratar de entender y conciliar sus creencias personales con su decisión puede darle una gran sensación de paz y aceptación, pero es un proceso que requiere tiempo y paciencia.

Dinámica de las relaciones y la comunicación

Muchas veces, un aborto también afecta las relaciones interpersonales. La relación con una pareja, los familiares y los amigos puede cambiar a medida que cambian las perspectivas y las realidades.

Es crucial priorizar la comunicación abierta y honesta sobre sus pensamientos y sentimientos. Si le resulta difícil hablar de sus emociones o tiene dificultades en sus relaciones como consecuencia de un aborto, tenga en cuenta la opción de hablar con un asesor . Están capacitados para escuchar sus necesidades y objetivos y contribuir al desarrollo de estrategias para lograr una comunicación eficaz y compasiva.

No está sola

No olvide que el concepto de lo que se considera “normal” tras un aborto incluye un amplio abanico de emociones y experiencias. Las circunstancias y los valores personales influyen en cada caso, por lo que cada persona tiene una experiencia diferente.

Este viaje implica procesar muchas emociones complejas, darse espacio para el duelo, encontrar la fuerza en momentos de valentía del pasado, enfrentarse a presiones internas y externas, y comprometerse a mantener una comunicación honesta en las relaciones. Este viaje puede ser solo suyo, con tiempos y procesos que se adapten a usted y a sus circunstancias.

Mientras trabaja para reconstruir su historia, recuerde que no está sola. Podemos ofrecerle apoyo, comprensión y orientación compasiva. Avail NYC ofrece un espacio seguro con asesores personales que comprenden la complejidad de las emociones y experiencias tras un aborto.

Si busca a alguien con quien hablar, una persona que pueda ofrecerle apoyo y comprensión sin prejuicios, tenga en cuenta la posibilidad de comunicarse con Avail NYC. Estamos aquí para escucharla, darle apoyo y ayudarla a recorrer su camino hacia la curación y la paz.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

What’s “Normal” After an Abortion?

Tue, 19 Dec 2023 17:34:27 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

If you’ve recently considered or have had an abortion, it’s common to want to know what may be standard after the experience. Yet it’s important to remember that what is “normal” is subjective and varies. Because each person is unique and has their own background and circumstances, people often feel a wide range of emotions.

Understanding the Emotional Spectrum

The range of emotions that someone may experience after an abortion is wide. Some may experience relief and a sense of empowerment, affirming their decision based on their current life circumstances. Others might face a complex mix of sadness, guilt, grief, or confusion, struggling with the emotional weight of their choice. Still some may feel a conflicting mix, reflecting the weight of the decision even if they feel it is the best one for them.

These emotions may change over time as each person processes and learns to reclaim their story. However, understanding that your emotional response is unique and valid regardless of where you’re at in your experience is essential. Each emotion is a natural and personal response to a significant life event, and deserves to be acknowledged and processed.

The Process of Grieving and Healing

Grief is a natural response for many people after an abortion. This grief can take many forms – from tears to deep contemplation to numbness. Some may find comfort in talking about their feelings with trusted individuals, while others might prefer journaling or engaging in reflection.

Healing is a journey that is unique to each person and doesn’t follow a set timeline. Give yourself permission to process your emotions in a way that feels right for you. This may involve exploring various coping mechanisms with a personal advocate or seeking professional support to navigate your feelings.

Resilience and Strength

Reflecting on your personal history of resilience and courage can be a source of empowerment.

In the middle of hard times, it can be difficult to remember your strength, but you are capable. Think back to times when you faced something challenging, made difficult decisions, or overcame obstacles. Each of these memories are proof of your strength, your bravery, and your ability to do hard things.

Confronting Internal and External Tensions

As you process these emotions, you may face feelings of judgment or criticism, both from yourself and others. Cultural norms and expectations from family members, friends, and even society can weigh heavily, causing feelings of guilt or shame. While these opinions may feel powerful, they don’t reflect the complexity of your situation and are not a statement about who you are.

It’s important to confront these feelings, recognizing them as a common part of the experience. You don't have to regret your abortion to need emotional support. Sorting through your unresolved feelings—the good, the bad, and the complicated—is the first step toward reclaiming your story, and we're here to help.

Avail NYC is proud to offer a support group for women who have had an abortion experience and want to meet others with similar stories. We also provide one-on-one appointments with advocates who are trained in reflective listening, self-care tools to help you process your experience with confidence, and in-person support groups to connect you with other New Yorkers who understand what you’re going through. Talk with an advocate and get connected.

The Impact of Personal Beliefs and Values

Personal beliefs and values also play a big role in how people process an abortion experience.

Often, people may feel an internal conflict or tension, especially if the decision to have an abortion challenges their deeply held values or life plans. This conflict can manifest as self-doubt, guilt, or questions about what they truly believe.

Practicing self-reflection can be a crucial step in navigating these emotions. Working to understand and reconcile your personal beliefs with your decision can lead to a greater sense of peace and acceptance, but it’s a process that may require time and patience.

Dynamics of Relationships and Communication

After an abortion experience, people often find that it also affects how they relate with others as well. Relationships with a partner, family members, and friends may look different as perspectives and realities shift.

Prioritizing open and honest communication about your thoughts and feelings is crucial. If you find it challenging to share your emotions or face difficulties in your relationships due to an abortion experience, consider talking with an advocate . They are trained to listen to your needs and goals, and help you develop strategies for effective and compassionate communication.

You're Not Alone

Remember, the idea of what’s “normal” following an abortion includes a wide range of emotions and experiences. Each is influenced by personal circumstances and values, making it different for everyone.

This journey involves processing many complex emotions, giving yourself space for grief, finding strength from past moments of bravery, facing internal and external pressures, and committing to honest communication in relationships. This journey may be uniquely yours, with a timeline and process that fits you and your circumstances.

As you work toward reclaiming your story, remember that you are not alone. Support, understanding, and compassionate guidance are available. Avail NYC offers a safe space with personal advocates who understand the complexities of the emotions and experiences after an abortion experience.

If you’re seeking someone to talk to, a person who can offer support and understanding without judgment, consider reaching out to Avail NYC. We are here to listen, provide support, and help you navigate your path towards healing and peace.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Recognizing Relationship Red Flags

Wed, 29 Nov 2023 21:50:24 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

We develop relationships and connections throughout our lives with family members, friends, co-workers, and romantic partners. Because of this, it’s important to understand the differences between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy relationship. Sometimes, these differences can be hard to notice in our own relationships, especially when emotions are involved.

For women and men facing a past or present unexpected pregnancy, it’s especially important to foster a healthy relationship with your partner so that you both can process and heal in a safe environment.

In this article, we'll explore what makes up healthy relationships, helping you recognize their positive traits. We'll also examine the signs of an unhealthy or unsafe relationship, empowering you with the knowledge to ensure your safety and happiness. As you navigate the journey ahead of you, you’re not alone. Our personal advocates are here to offer resources and support every step of the way.

What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like?

Although everyone has their own idea of what a good, healthy relationship looks like, there are important foundations for everyone. A healthy relationship is a partnership based on shared trust, mutual respect, open and honest communication, and equality. Both you and your partner should feel valued, supported, and safe.

In a healthy relationship, each person chooses to join and stay in the relationship together. Although connected, it’s critical to avoid codependency, or prioritizing the needs of the other person above your own. The relationship should allow each person room to grow, pursue their own passions, and find fulfillment.

While no one is perfect all the time, healthy relationships strive for improvement and are places where mistakes can be talked about and forgiven. The disagreement can be overcome by communication and mutual commitment to connection, ultimately prioritizing listening and understanding to reestablish a sense of safety and understanding.

How Do I Know If My Relationship is Healthy?

In any relationship, it’s important to take time to pause and reflect on its strengths and weaknesses. To think about the health of your relationship , ask yourself the following questions and note your instinctual answers.

How do you feel when you’re with your partner?
Does my partner respect my boundaries ?
Do we communicate openly and honestly?
Is there mutual support and encouragement?
Can I be authentic myself?

It can be easy to try to justify the answers you’d like to give. It’s not easy to admit when a relationship is not healthy or allowing you to thrive, and it may take time. As difficult as this can be, being honest with ourselves about the answers to these kinds of questions is for our good.

Healthy relationships bring respect, encouragement, and a sense of security. If your answers don’t reflect this, you may be experiencing an unhealthy or unsafe relationship.

What Does an Unhealthy Relationship Look Like?

Unhealthy relationships are often characterized by control, disrespect, and manipulation. There are many kinds of abuse , including but not limited to: emotional, mental, sexual, spiritual, and physical.

However, not all unhealthy relationships look the same. A relationship does not need to have physical signs of abuse in order to be unsafe. Yet there are some signs of an unsafe or abusive relationship that often appear in unhealthy and unsafe relationships. These may include:

Constant criticism
Isolation from loved ones
Lack of personal freedom
Intimidation, threats, and fearing your partner

If you are experiencing any of these, it’s important to consider your safety and well-being. No one deserves mistreatment or abuse. You are worthy of respect and peace.

What Do I Do if I’m in an Unsafe Relationship?

Even when you know the signs, it can be difficult to admit the reality of an unsafe or unhealthy relationship.

If you’re in an unhealthy relationship, you may be feeling scared, confused, and unsure of what steps to take next. You might even know that the relationship is unsafe, but not be ready to take action . You are not alone in this. Taking time to recognize red flags and patterns and develop a plan to restore your well-being is a common response. In order to do this, consider the following steps:

Reflect on Your Relationship: Take a moment to think about your relationship and the unique circumstances that surround it. What are you hoping to change? Why? Having a goal will allow you to stay determined and centered.
Gather a Support System: Reach out to trusted friends, family, or professionals who can provide emotional support and guidance throughout the process. You don't have to go through this alone.
Seek Professional Help: Healing from an unhealthy relationship takes time and support. Consider talking to a mental health professional. If you’ve faced an unexpected pregnancy now or in the past, scheduling a time to talk with a personal advocate will also be helpful. Processing your emotions and your experience in a safe space can help you find peace and confidence moving forward.

What Resources Are Available?

Remember, you don't have to face this alone. Avail NYC’s personal advocates exist to support you and offer resources for every aspect of your life as you face an unexpected pregnancy or after an abortion experience.

There are various resources available to support you on your journey. If you are a New Yorker looking for resources, consider exploring local organizations like NYC Hope . These establishments specialize in unhealthy, unsafe, or abusive relationships that can offer counseling, emergency shelters, legal aid, and assistance with restraining orders. The New York State Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NYSCADV) also offers a wide range of resources for you where you live.

Other organizations like One Love may also serve as a helpful resource if you find yourself in an unsafe relationship. Hotlines such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline or the Crisis Text Line offer many different ways to reach out for help and can offer resources available near you.

However, our dedicated and compassionate advocates offer unique in-person or online support. Our goal is to listen without judgment, offer resources, and support you through your experience.

In any relationship, your well-being matters. Understanding the difference between healthy and unhealthy patterns is the first step towards prioritizing your happiness and safety. If you're concerned about your relationship, remember that guidance is one call or conversation away. If you’re facing an unexpected pregnancy or coping with an abortion experience, talk with an advocate for holistic support.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Señales de que su novia podría estar embarazada

Mon, 14 Aug 2023 16:00:00 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

¿Muestra su novia algunos síntomas que lo hacen preguntarse si podría estar embarazada? Aunque ella le quita importancia, usted aún no está seguro. Es comprensible que esta incógnita despierte en usted una serie de emociones fuertes. Sería prudente afrontar este asunto con sensibilidad y una comunicación abierta para tratar cualquier preocupación y obtener claridad juntos. Exploremos algunas señales frecuentes de embarazo y hablemos sobre los pasos que debe seguir si sospecha que está embarazada.

Reconocer las señales

Aunque cada mujer es única, existen algunas señales clave que generalmente indican un posible embarazo. Estas señales pueden variar, pero algunos indicadores frecuentes incluyen:

Falta de menstruación
Náuseas o náuseas matutinas
Sensibilidad en las mamas
Aversión a las comidas o los olores
Orina frecuente
Fatiga
Cambios de humor

Si su novia tiene alguno de estos síntomas y tuvieron relaciones sexuales sin protección recientemente, Avail NYC ofrece una prueba de embarazo gratuita por correo en una caja discreta, y obtendrá una cita gratuita con un asesor que los apoyará, virtualmente o en persona, durante todo este proceso. Cada asesor está bien preparado con remisiones a centros médicos y profesionales externos, atentos y de confianza, que pueden dar una guía personalizada.

Sin embargo, tenga en cuenta que estos síntomas podrían indicar potencialmente otras condiciones. Para confirmar un embarazo, es importante visitar a un profesional de atención médica calificado y recibir orientación de un profesional médico. Avail NYC no es un proveedor médico.

¿Qué pruebas de embarazo son más confiables?

Primero, es importante recordar que solo una prueba de embarazo puede dar una respuesta definitiva cuando se trata de determinar si su novia está embarazada o no. Aunque puede haber señales y síntomas que indiquen un posible embarazo, es esencial recurrir a una prueba confiable para obtener resultados precisos.

Si hacen una prueba de embarazo casera, elija una que le dé resultados precisos . La prueba de embarazo de resultado temprano First Response™ se elige constantemente como la mejor y más precisa prueba de embarazo casera en general, porque puede detectar concentraciones de hCG en la orina tan bajas como 6.5 mIU/ml (muchas pruebas no detectan niveles por debajo de 25 mIU/ml). Sin embargo, el Kit de prueba de embarazo digital Clearblue afirma tener una precisión superior al 99% a partir del día en que debería iniciar el período y detecta hCG en la orina a una velocidad de 10 mUI/ml. Esta prueba también ofrece una pantalla digital que dice “Pregnant” (Embarazada) o “Not Pregnant” (No embarazada).

Además, Avail NYC ofrece pruebas de embarazo hCG gratuitas y administradas por usted con calidad de laboratorio en Midtown Manhattan y East Harlem, que pueden detectar las hormonas del embarazo diez días después de la concepción y dar los resultados en el plazo de 3-5 minutos.

Priorice la comunicación abierta

Si cree que su novia podría estar embarazada, la comunicación abierta y sincera es clave. Si su relación es bastante reciente , enfrentarse a un embarazo inesperado y mantener conversaciones serias puede resultar desalentador. Sin embargo, una relación puede crecer y florecer si se prioriza la comunicación sincera y el apoyo mutuo.

Recuerde que su pareja puede tener miedo tanto de los resultados de la prueba como de su reacción. Asegúrele siempre que está comprometido para trabajar con ella en cualquier situación y que quiere escuchar sus emociones, sin juzgarla. Afronte el tema con empatía y comprensión, creando un espacio seguro para que ella comparta sus pensamientos y sentimientos. Anímela a hablar de cualquier síntoma físico que pueda tener y pregúntale cómo puede apoyarla durante este tiempo.

Busque el apoyo de Avail NYC

Independientemente de los resultados de la prueba, es importante mantener el apoyo. Si el resultado es positivo, hable con un asesor sobre las opciones disponibles, las circunstancias personales, la disposición emocional y los planes de futuro. Si la prueba es negativa, recuerde que usted y su pareja pueden reaccionar y responder de manera diferente. Asegúrese de apoyarse mutuamente pase lo que pase.

A menudo, a los hombres les resulta útil hablar con otros hombres que comparten experiencias y conocimientos sobre caminos similares. Programe una cita en persona o en línea con un asesor en Avail NYC. Su objetivo es ofrecerle una guía imparcial, ayudarlo a explorar sus emociones y guiarlo por medio de herramientas de toma de decisiones según su situación particular. Aunque no son profesionales médicos, pueden ayudarlo a hablar sobre cualquier cosa que lo preocupe.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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Está embarazada. Es mío. ¿Qué debo hacer?

Fri, 04 Aug 2023 17:30:10 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Descubrir que su pareja está embarazada puede ser una experiencia abrumadora para cualquier hombre. La noticia puede desencadenar una serie de emociones que van desde la alegría y la excitación hasta el miedo y la incertidumbre. De repente, está en una encrucijada, dividida entre dos futuros diferentes: uno sin paternidad y otro con las responsabilidades de criar a un hijo. Es importante procesar estos sentimientos y tomar decisiones informadas para poder avanzar con confianza. Aquí hay una guía que lo ayudará en este recorrido emocional y a encontrar apoyo en el camino.

Comprender sus emociones

Cuando se enfrenta a un embarazo inesperado, es crucial reconocer y aceptar la variedad de emociones que puede tener. Es frecuente sentir miedo, ansiedad o incluso resistencia ante la idea de convertirse en padre. Permítase sentirlo todo y tómese el tiempo que necesite para procesar estas emociones . Cuando se sienta preparado para tener una conversación con su pareja , háblele abiertamente de sus pensamientos y sentimientos, y escuche también los de ella. Una comunicación sincera y compasiva fortalecerá su relación y lo ayudará a tomar decisiones que se ajusten a los deseos y necesidades de ambos.

Explorar las opciones

Una vez procesado el embarazo, es importante explorar todas las opciones disponibles. Tómese el tiempo para considerar detenidamente las consecuencias potenciales de ser o no padre. Imagine ambos escenarios claramente, analizando los pros y los contras de cada uno. Cuando imagine cada situación, recuerde personalizarla; tenga en cuenta sus valores, objetivos, relaciones y el tipo de futuro que quiere para usted. Determinar si está preparado o no para ser padre puede parecer abrumador, pero tiene tiempo para tomar una decisión con seguridad.

Por un lado, elegir no ser padre puede ofrecer ciertas libertades y oportunidades de crecimiento personal. Le permite mantener el estilo de vida actual, centrarse en su carrera, perseguir intereses personales y tener más tiempo y recursos para usted. Sin embargo, es importante reconocer las posibles repercusiones de esta decisión. Piense en cómo puede afectar la relación con su pareja , su dinámica familiar y el impacto emocional que el aborto tiene en hombres y mujeres.

Por otro lado, asumir la paternidad conlleva un conjunto único de responsabilidades, retos y recompensas. Implica participar activamente en la crianza de un hijo, alimentar su crecimiento y establecer una conexión significativa. Puede aportar una inmensa alegría, amor y un sentido de propósito. Pero también exige dedicación, sacrificio y el compromiso de atender a su hijo. Tendrá que tomarse el tiempo para decidir si está preparado para los cambios de estilo de vida, las obligaciones económicas y la inversión emocional que exige la paternidad.

Puede ser útil mantener conversaciones abiertas y sinceras con su pareja, teniendo en cuenta también sus pensamientos y deseos. Eso les permite a usted y a su pareja establecer una relación de confianza, hacer espacio para la vulnerabilidad y abrir la puerta a la empatía y la comprensión. Hablar con su pareja también puede ayudar a que la relación florezca, permitiéndose ambos entender cómo se puede estar sintiendo el otro. Recuerde, ambos tienen una opinión. Una buena decisión es aquella con la que ambos se sienten cómodos y preparados.

No tiene que afrontarlo solo

Si es hombre y se enfrenta a la noticia de un embarazo no planificado, no tiene que hacerlo solo. Programe una cita en persona o en línea con un asesor de Avail NYC especializado en ayudar a los hombres a atravesar situaciones como la suya. Pueden ofrecerle una guía imparcial, ayudarlo a explorar sus emociones y guiarlo por medio de herramientas de toma de decisiones según su situación particular. Aunque no son profesionales médicos ni personas que dan recomendación médica, pueden presentar información sobre los derechos legales, las responsabilidades y los recursos disponibles para usted como futuro padre.

El asesor de Avail NYC también puede ponerlo en contacto con un grupo de apoyo diseñado específicamente para hombres en situaciones similares. Relacionarse con otras personas que se enfrentaron o se enfrentan a un embarazo inesperado puede ser reconfortante y útil. Estos grupos ofrecen un espacio seguro para compartir experiencias, buscar guía y obtener valiosos puntos de vista de quienes están en la misma situación.

Recuerde que tiene el poder de forjar su futuro y puede buscar el camino que le parezca más adecuado.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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She’s Pregnant. It’s Mine. What Should I Do?

Fri, 21 Jul 2023 15:34:25 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Discovering that your partner is pregnant can be an overwhelming experience for any man. The news may trigger a range of emotions, ranging from joy and excitement to fear and uncertainty. Suddenly, you find yourself at a crossroads, torn between two different futures: one without parenthood and one with the responsibilities of raising a child. It's important to process these feelings and make informed decisions so that you can move forward with confidence. Here's a guide to help you navigate this emotional journey and find support along the way.

Understanding Your Emotions

When faced with an unplanned pregnancy, it's crucial to recognize and accept the range of emotions you may experience. It's common to feel scared, anxious, or even resistant to the idea of becoming a parent. Give yourself permission to feel it all and take the time you need to process these emotions.

When you feel ready to have a conversation with your partner , discuss your thoughts and feelings openly with them, and listen to theirs too. Honest and compassionate communication will strengthen your relationship and help you make decisions that align with both of your desires and needs.

Exploring the Options

Once you have processed the pregnancy, it’s important to explore all available options. Take time to carefully consider the potential outcomes that come with both not being a parent and embracing fatherhood. Envision the scenarios vividly, weighing the pros and cons of each. As you imagine each situation, remember to make it personal; take into account your values, goals, relationships, and the kind of future you want for yourself. Determining whether or not you’re ready to be a parent may feel overwhelming, but you have the time to make a confident decision.

On one hand, choosing not to be a father may offer certain freedoms and opportunities for personal growth. It allows you to maintain your current lifestyle, focus on your career, pursue personal interests, and have more time and resources for yourself. However, it's important to recognize the possible impacts of this decision. Think of how it might affect your relationship with your partner , your family dynamics, and the emotional impact abortion has on men and women.

On the other hand, embracing fatherhood brings a unique set of responsibilities, challenges, and rewards. It involves actively participating in the upbringing of a child, nurturing their growth, and building a meaningful connection. It can bring immense joy, love, and a sense of purpose. But it also requires dedication, sacrifice, and a commitment to providing for the child. You will need to take time to decide whether you are ready for the lifestyle changes, financial obligations, and emotional investment that fatherhood demands.

It may be helpful to have open and honest discussions with your partner, considering their thoughts and desires as well. This allows you and your partner to establish trust, make space for vulnerability, and open the door for empathy and understanding. Talking with your partner may also help the relationship flourish, allowing you both to understand how the other may be feeling. Remember, you both have a voice. A good decision is one you both feel comfortable with and prepared for.

You Don’t Have to Face it Alone

If you're a man facing the news of an unplanned pregnancy, you don’t have to face it alone. Schedule an in-person or online appointment with a male advocate at Avail NYC who specializes in helping men walk through situations just like yours.

They can offer unbiased guidance, help you explore your emotions, and walk you through decision-making tools based on your unique situation. Although they are not medical professionals or people who give medical advice, they can provide information about legal rights, responsibilities, and resources available to you as a prospective parent.

Your personal advocate can also connect you with a support group specifically designed for men in similar situations. Connecting with others who have faced or are facing an unexpected pregnancy can be comforting and helpful. These groups provide a safe space to share experiences, seek guidance, and gain valuable insights from those in the same shoes.

Remember, you have the power to shape your future and can find a way forward that feels right for you.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Historia de Tiffany - Sentirse Atrapada en el “por qué ahora”

Fri, 26 May 2023 14:17:09 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Los ojos de Tiffany se llenaron de lágrimas mientras veía la prueba de embarazo que tenía en sus manos. El resultado no era el que había esperado; era positivo. No podía creerlo, así que decidió hacerse otra prueba, y luego otra. Empezó a aceptar la realidad y el pánico recorrió su cuerpo.

“¿Qué hago? ¿Qué hago? ¿Estoy leyendo bien esta prueba? No sé qué hacer."

Durante los próximos días, Tiffany se sintió abrumada con preguntas. Pasó interminables horas tratando de descifrar cómo podría haber sucedido esto. ¿Quién era responsable? ¿Qué dio lugar a este momento? ¿Cuándo y dónde ocurrió? Preguntas interminables daban vueltas sin cesar en su mente, dejándola emocionalmente agotada.

Todavía en un estado de choque, Tiffany decidió buscar guía y apoyo. Ella se acercó a Avail NYC donde se reunió con una asesora llamada Elizabeth. En las sesiones, Tiffany habló sin parar con Elizabeth sobre sus temores, ansiedades y esperanzas. Le explicó la decisión trascendental que estaría afrontando si terminaba siendo madre soltera. Estaba decepcionada de sí misma, Tiffany apenas acababa de comenzar la carrera de sus sueños en la industria tecnológica a los 26 años. Ahora, escondía un secreto que ponía un tremendo peso sobre sus hombros.

“Uno cree que esto no te va a suceder y que puedes vivir ajeno a ello, hasta que sucede. Siempre quise ser mamá. Quería hacerlo “de la manera correcta”, con una familia y un esposo. Hacerlo de la manera no tradicional, por accidente, me hizo sentir vergüenza.”

Juntas, Tiffany y Elizabeth, analizaron las diferentes opciones y las preocupaciones que tenía frente a ella. Hicieron tablas de las ventajas y desventajas, ahondando en cada detalle de los diferentes escenarios y cómo estos afectarían los objetivos y las aspiraciones que Tiffany tenía para su vida.

“Consideré el aborto muy intensamente. Consideré la adopción. Las tres opciones eran una posibilidad. Tenía opiniones de todos los bandos que me aconsejaban. Una vez que decidí agregar más amigos al círculo, teníamos una reunión después de cada sesión de Avail nuevamente, haciendo esas preguntas de por qué ahora.

¿Por qué no sucedió esto cuando tenía 18 años y andaba descontrolada?"

Durante las sesiones, las emociones de Tiffany estaban candentes. Algunas conversaciones duraban horas, mientras permitía que sus temores se desmoronaran, y las lágrimas rodaran por su cara. Avail le dio un espacio seguro para procesar sus pensamientos y sentimientos.

“Avail me ayudó a procesarlo de una manera muy realista. No hubo juicios, ni presión. Nunca se sintió que hubiera ningún tipo de agenda. Solo ven como estés y hablemos con sinceridad. Hablemos. Lloremos, riamos, solo hablemos sobre lo que Tiffany quiere sacar de todo esto.”

Si estás afrontando un embarazo no deseado, Avail NYC está aquí para apoyarte. Nuestros asesores capacitados e imparciales están disponibles para apoyarte en un entorno no moralista. Nuestro equipo tiene los recursos y las herramientas necesarias para ayudarte a procesar tus pensamientos y emociones, empoderándote para tomar una decisión llena de confianza.

Finalmente, la historia de Tiffany es un testamento del poder de apoyo compasivo. Con la guía de Avail NYC , ella encontró la fortaleza para explorar sus opciones y descubrió un camino hacia un mayor empoderamiento.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

* Los nombres se cambiaron por confidencialidad

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Tiffany's Story: Feeling Trapped in the “Why Now”

Mon, 15 May 2023 14:31:38 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

*Names changed for confidentiality.

Tiffany's eyes filled with tears as she stared at the pregnancy test in her hands. The result was not what she had hoped for—it was positive. She couldn't believe it, so she decided to take another test, and then another. The reality began to sink in and panic ran through her body.

“What do I do? What do I do? Am I reading this test right? I don't know what to do.”

In the following days, Tiffany found herself overwhelmed by questions. She spent countless hours trying to piece together how this could have happened. Who was responsible? What had led to this moment? When and where did it occur? Never-ending questions swirled endlessly in her mind, leaving her emotionally drained.

Still in a state of shock, Tiffany decided to seek guidance and support. She turned to Avail NYC where she was paired with a personal advocate named Elizabeth. Through their sessions, Tiffany poured out her fears, anxieties, and hopes to Elizabeth. She explained the life-changing decision she would be facing if she ended up a single mother. Disappointed in herself, Tiffany had only just begun her dream career in the tech industry at 26 years old. Now, she carried a secret that weighed heavily on her shoulders.

“You think it cannot happen to you and you can live ignorantly until it does. I did always want to be a mom. I wanted to do it the ‘right way’ with a family and husband. To do it the nontraditional way by accident made me feel very ashamed.”

Together, Tiffany and Elizabeth explored the various options and concerns that lay before her. They crafted pros and cons charts, diving into every detail of the different scenarios and how they would impact Tiffany's goals and aspirations for her life.

“I considered abortion pretty heavily. I considered adoption. All three options were in the running. I had voices from all sides giving me advice. Once I decided to loop in more friends, we would debrief after every Avail session again, asking those why now questions.

Why did this not happen when I was 18 and running around wild?”

During her sessions, Tiffany's emotions ran high. Some discussions lasted for hours, as she allowed her fears to unravel, tears streaming down her face. Avail provided her with a safe space to process her thoughts and feelings.

“Avail helped me process it very realistically. There was no judgment, no pressure. It never felt like there was any sort of agenda. Just come as you are and let's have an open dialogue. Let's talk. Let's cry, let's laugh, let's just talk about what Tiffany is wanting out of this.”

If you find yourself facing an unexpected pregnancy , Avail NYC is here to support you. Our trained and compassionate personal advocates are available to provide support in a non-judgmental environment. Our team has the necessary resources and tools to help you process your thoughts and emotions, empowering you to make a confident decision.

Ultimately, Tiffany's story is a testament to the power of compassionate support. With the guidance of Avail NYC , she found the strength to navigate her options and discovered a path toward greater empowerment.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

*Names changed for confidentiality

¿Fue la prueba de embarazo realmente exacta?

Wed, 26 Apr 2023 20:01:20 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Pensar un embarazo inesperado puede ser una experiencia emocional y abrumadora, y es natural sentirse insegura sobre la precisión de la prueba de embarazo. Comprender cómo funcionan las pruebas de embarazo y qué factores están en juego puede ayudar a que se sienta más segura de los resultados.

Entonces, ¿si se está preguntando: "¿Es realmente positivo el resultado de mi prueba de embarazo?"

Hay un “momento adecuado” para hacerse una prueba de embarazo

El tiempo lo es todo cuando se trata de hacerse una prueba de embarazo. La mayoría de las pruebas de embarazo caseras están diseñadas para detectar la hormona llamada gonadotropina coriónica humana (hCG) , que produce la placenta después que un óvulo fertilizado se implanta en el útero. La hCG tarda unos días en desarrollarse en su organismo, por lo que hacerse una prueba demasiado pronto puede dar como resultado un falso negativo.

El mejor momento para hacerse una prueba de embarazo es después de no haber tenido su período. Si tiene períodos irregulares o no está segura de cuándo es su próximo período, es mejor esperar al menos dos semanas después de haber tenido relaciones sexuales sin protección antes de hacerse la prueba. Esto le dará a su cuerpo suficiente tiempo para producir niveles detectables de hCG.

Cómo leer los resultados paso a paso

Leer una prueba de embarazo es relativamente simple. La mayoría de las pruebas tienen una línea de control y una línea de prueba:

Siempre aparecerá la línea de control , indicando que la prueba está funcionando correctamente.
Si la línea de prueba aparece indica que se detectó hCG en su orina, lo cual es una señal de embarazo.

Algunas pruebas pueden mostrar una señal de más (que indica embarazo) o las palabras "embarazada" o "no embarazada" para que los resultados sean más claros.

La calidad de la prueba importa

No todas las pruebas de embarazo las hacen iguales. Algunas son más sensibles que otras, lo que significa que pueden detectar niveles más bajos de hCG en la orina. Las pruebas de mayor calidad tienen más probabilidades de dar resultados precisos , pero también pueden ser más caras.

La prueba de embarazo de resultado temprano First Response™ se elige constantemente como la mejor y más precisa prueba de embarazo casera en general, porque puede detectar concentraciones de hCG en la orina tan bajas como 6.5 mIU/ml (muchas pruebas no detectan niveles por debajo de 25 mIU/ml).

El kit de prueba de embarazo Clearblue Digital ofrece una pantalla digital que dice “Embarazada” o “No embarazada”. Se estima que la prueba tiene una exactitud del 99% a partir del día en que se inicia su período. Esta prueba detecta hCG en la orina a una tasa de 10 mIU/ml.

Si no está segura de la calidad de la prueba que se hizo, es una buena idea hacer otra prueba en 2 o 3 días para confirmar el resultado. Si quiere hacerse una prueba médica de embarazo gratis, Avail NYC ofrece pruebas a mujeres que afrontan un embarazo inesperado en la ciudad de Nueva York.

Puede haber un error de usuario

El error humano también puede afectar la precisión de una prueba de embarazo. Si no sigue las instrucciones correctamente, puede ser que el resultado sea inexacto. Aquí hay algunas cosas que debe tener en cuenta:

Asegúrese de que la prueba no está vencida o se haya abierto antes
No use una prueba que se haya almacenado incorrectamente (por ejemplo, en un baño húmedo)
Hágase la prueba a primera hora de la mañana cuando su orina esté más concentrada, lo que le dará un resultado más claro
Aunque puede ser tentador, no beba demasiada agua antes de hacerse la prueba (esto puede diluir la orina, haciendo que sea más difícil detectar la hCG y dando resultados poco claros)

Si sospecha que cometió un error al hacer la prueba, es mejor hacer otra prueba en 2-3 días para confirmar el resultado.

La verdad sobre los falsos positivos y negativos

Independientemente del tipo de prueba que se haya hecho, es importante recordar que es posible que se den resultados falsos positivos y falsos negativos.

Se pueden producir resultados falsos positivos si ha estado embarazada recientemente y todavía tiene hCG en su sistema, si está tomando ciertos medicamentos que contienen hCG o si la prueba está defectuosa o si ya venció.
Se pueden producir resultados falsos negativos si hace la prueba demasiado prematura, si su orina está demasiado diluida o si la prueba esta defectuosa o si ya venció.

Si aún no está segura de la precisión de su prueba de embarazo, es una buena idea buscar el apoyo de un proveedor de atención médica o un espacio sin prejuicios como Avail NYC. En Avail NYC , podemos darle información, recursos y apoyo para ayudar a tomar decisiones informadas sobre la posibilidad de un embarazo.

Aunque un embarazo inesperado puede ser abrumador y aterrador, es importante recordar que hay recursos disponibles para ayudarla a atravesar este momento difícil. Si se hizo una prueba de embarazo y no está segura de los resultados, la animamos a que haga una cita gratis con nuestros atentos asesores, que son expertos en escuchar con compasión y sin juzgar. Pueden ayudarla a procesar la idea de un embarazo inesperado y la pueden guiar por las herramientas para tomar decisiones basadas en lo que es más importante para usted.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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¿Las relaciones cambian después de un embarazo no planeado?

Tue, 28 Mar 2023 13:47:16 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Cuando aparecen inesperadamente esas dos líneas en una prueba de embarazo, es posible que de repente sientas que estás reevaluando casi todo en tu relación. No estás sola. Los embarazos no planeados nunca son fáciles, pero son frecuentes en los Estados Unidos. De hecho, se calcula que un 46% (o 2.6 millones) de embarazos al año no son deseados. Tú y tu pareja afrontarán nuevos retos después de enterarse de que estás embarazada; pero, al identificar esos cambios, fijar un plan, aprender a comunicarse y buscar apoyo, tú y tu pareja son capaces de superar esto.

Los hombres y las mujeres a veces reaccionan de manera diferente

Los varones tienden a querer resolver de inmediato los problemas. Esto a veces es de utilidad; pero, cuando una pareja está afrontando la noticia de un embarazo no planeado, lo mejor es desacelerar, respirar y escuchar.

Por su parte, las mujeres tienden a necesitar apoyo adicional para procesar todos los sentimientos que tienen por el embarazo. Es probable que este cambio la afecte desde todos los ángulos, ya sea físico, emocional e, incluso, mental .

Detenerse, evaluar y pensar

Un embarazo no planeado es una experiencia muy personal y entender tus deseos, necesidades y sentimientos en lo que respecta a él puede ser más difícil de lo que pensabas. En primer lugar, tómate un tiempo para pensar bien en tus principales preocupaciones, como:

Finanzas
Reacciones de familiares y amigos
Ir a la escuela secundaria o la universidad estando embarazada
Estar lista para ser madre
Cuáles son las metas importantes para ti en tu relación

Intenta dejar que tus pensamientos fluyan sin juzgar. Tus pensamientos, sentimientos y preocupaciones no reflejan quién eres como persona ni tampoco cómo serás en tu futura relación o como madre. Tómate el tiempo de procesar por completo lo que estás pensando y sintiendo antes de tomar una decisión.

Si necesitas apoyo adicional en el proceso de tomar una decisión o tan solo quieres hablar con alguien que sea imparcial durante este momento difícil, Avail NYC puede ofrecerte apoyo y orientación. Nuestros asesores ampliamente capacitados pueden hablar contigo de todas tus opciones en un entorno donde nadie te juzgue, te ayudarán a evaluar los pros y los contras, y te pondrán en contacto con otros recursos, como cuidado infantil, remisiones a servicios de OB/GYN de bajo costo, y mucho más, si es necesario.

Deja que la comunicación fluya

La comunicación con tu pareja es esencial para transitar los próximos pasos en el intento de procesar lo que esto significa para ti, para tu futuro y para tu relación. Aquí tienes algunos consejos sobre cómo comunicarte bien con tu pareja en este momento difícil:

Escuchar : es fundamental que estén dispuestos a escuchar realmente y a buscar entenderse entre ambos (aunque al principio no lo entiendan). Intenta alejar las distracciones (como tu teléfono) y pregúntale a tu pareja qué piensa y siente sobre el embarazo.
Tener empatía : mientras escuchas para entender lo que tu pareja siente, responde con empatía. Recuérdale que no está solo en esto y que ambos van a resolver esto juntos. Comparte la responsabilidad y no temas expresar tus sentimientos. Tú y tu pareja pueden tener sentimientos diferentes sobre algunas cosas, y eso está bien. Mostrar empatía significa que estás intentando entender lo que la otra persona está sintiendo. Ten cuidado de no intentar “solucionar” lo que tu pareja siente, sino que intenta vivir tú también esos sentimientos.
Tener paciencia : sean pacientes entre sí mientras procesan sus emociones. A veces, es difícil describir cómo uno se siente o qué está pensando. Es necesario entender que estas cosas pueden cambiar con el tiempo, y que los pensamientos y sentimientos pueden fluctuar. Sean pacientes y dense tiempo para reconocer que este es un evento inesperado muy importante.
Estar presente : recuerda que la comunicación también es no verbal. En muchas ocasiones, estar presente físicamente en forma constante con alguien es muy importante en momentos difíciles. Es un apoyo muy valioso estar presente para tu pareja y recordarle con tus acciones que estás ahí para ofrecer tu compañía.

Buscar apoyo para salir adelante

Todas las relaciones sanas se basan en la confianza, que viene de la honestidad y de la vulnerabilidad, y de la demostración de tu compromiso con tus acciones. Un embarazo no planeado pone esa confianza a prueba.

Tu pareja querrá saber que estás ahí, que puedes apoyarla y que le harás compañía sin importar lo que suceda. Al tomarte un momento para escuchar, entender tus propias emociones y comunicarte con honestidad, puedes darle a tu pareja el apoyo que necesita.

Si tu pareja o tu familia no te brindan el apoyo que necesitas, puedes hablar con un asesor imparcial. Avail NYC ofrece a hombres y mujeres que hacen frente a un embarazo no planeado citas individuales gratis con asesores compasivos que pueden ayudarlos a hablar de lo que tengan en su mente en un entorno donde nadie los juzgue.

Si estás embarazada (o crees que lo estás) y no sabes a quién recurrir, comunícate con nosotros hoy mismo. Tenemos citas presenciales y virtuales disponibles.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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Do Relationships Change During an Unexpected Pregnancy?

Thu, 16 Mar 2023 19:33:39 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Once those two lines unexpectedly appear on a pregnancy test, it can feel like you’re suddenly reevaluating almost everything in your relationship. You’re not alone. Unexpected pregnancies are never easy, but they are common in the United States. In fact, an estimated 46% , or 2.6 million, pregnancies each year are unintended.

You and your partner will face new challenges after finding out you’re unexpectedly pregnant, but by identifying those changes, setting a plan, learning how to communicate, and finding support, you and your partner can get through this.

Men and Women Sometimes React Differently

Men tend to immediately jump to solving problems. That sometimes comes in handy, but when you and your partner are facing an unexpected pregnancy, it’s best to slow down, take a breath, and listen.

Meanwhile, women tend to need extra support as they process their many feelings surrounding the pregnancy. This change is likely impacting her from all angles; physically, emotionally, and even mentally .

Pause, Evaluate, and Think

An unexpected pregnancy is a deeply personal experience and understanding your wants, needs, and feelings about it can be harder than you thought. First, take some time to really explore your key concerns like:

Try to let your thoughts flow without judgment. Your thoughts, feelings, and concerns don’t reflect on you as a person, or in any way reflect how you may be in the future relationship or as a parent. Take time to fully process what you’re thinking and feeling before making any decisions.

If you’d like additional support in the decision-making process or simply want to talk to someone who is unbiased during this difficult time, Avail NYC can provide support and guidance. Our highly trained advocates can discuss all of your options with you in a judgment-free environment, helping you weigh the pros and cons, and connect you to other resources like child care, low-cost OB/GYN referrals, and much more, if necessary.

Let the Communication Flow

Communicating with your partner is essential as you walk through the next steps of processing what this means for you, your future, and your relationship. Here are some tips on communicating well with your partner in the midst of this difficult time:

Listen: Being willing to really hear and seek to understand one another is vital (even if you don’t understand at first). Practice putting away distractions (like your phone) and ask your partner questions about their thoughts and feelings about the pregnancy.
Empathy: As you listen to understand what your partner is feeling, respond with empathy. Remind them that they are not alone in the journey and that you both are going to work through this together. Share responsibility and be vulnerable about your feelings. You and your partner may feel differently about certain things and that's okay. Empathy shows that you are trying to understand where the other person is coming from. Be cautious not to try to “fix” what your partner is feeling, rather experience those feelings with them.
Patience: Be patient with each other as you process your emotions. Sometimes it’s difficult to describe how you are thinking or feeling. Understand that these things can come over time, and your thoughts and feelings may fluctuate. Be patient as you give each other time, recognizing that this is a major unexpected event.
Be Present: Remember that communication is non-verbal, too. Often, being consistently physically present with someone is most meaningful in hard times. Being present with your partner and reminding them you are there for them through your actions provides invaluable support.

Finding Support to Flourish

Every healthy relationship is built on the foundation of trust . Trust comes from honesty and vulnerability, and from demonstrating your commitment through your actions. An unexpected pregnancy will put that trust to the test.

Your partner wants to know that you’re for them . That you have their back and you will be there, no matter what. By taking the time to listen, understand your own emotions, and communicate honestly, you can give your partner the support they need.

If your partner or family isn’t providing you with the support you need, you may want to talk to an unbiased advocate. Avail NYC provides women and men facing unexpected pregnancies with free one-on-one appointments with compassionate advocates who can help you talk through whatever may be on your mind in a judgment-free environment.

If you’re pregnant - or think you’re pregnant - and aren’t sure where to turn, reach out today. Our dedicated and compassionate advocates offer unique in-person or online support.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Mi Novia Me Acaba de Decir Que se Hizo un Aborto

Thu, 09 Feb 2023 16:15:00 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Nunca es fácil procesar la noticia de que su novia se hizo un aborto en el pasado. Puede provocar muchas emociones encontradas, desde dolor y tristeza hasta confusión y enfado. Sin embargo, es importante recordar que la sanación es posible después de esta difícil experiencia. Aquí tiene algunos consejos para que pueda curar todo junto:

Hable abiertamente sobre el aborto

La comunicación abierta en la pareja es clave a la hora de superar cualquier tipo de trauma o dolor. En todos los aspectos, es importante abordar esta conversación abiertamente y con respeto. Ha hecho falta mucho valor para que su novia acuda a usted para contarle esto; hágale saber que está ahí para cuando esté preparada para hablar de lo que pasó y de cómo se siente ahora al respecto. Mostrar empatía ayudará a crear un entorno seguro en el que ambos se sientan cómodos hablando libremente, sin juzgar ni avergonzarse del tema en cuestión.

Pasen tiempo de calidad juntos

Tomarse recesos sin hablar del aborto ayudará a que las cosas no sean tan tensas y, al mismo tiempo, le dará a usted y a su novia espacio para crecer y comprenderse. Hacer cosas divertidas, como salir a pasear, jugar a juegos de mesa dentro de casa, bailar al ritmo de la música o participar en actividades creativas (como pintar), pueden ser formas estupendas de pasar tiempo de calidad juntos y, al mismo tiempo, darles salidas emocionales cuando sea necesario.

Cuidado con los desencadenantes

Es importante comprender que su novia puede tener toda una serie de emociones negativas o ninguna relacionada con la experiencia del aborto. Como compañero de apoyo, puede informarse sobre los síntomas del síndrome posaborto (PASS) , una afección que la Asociación Americana de Psicología investigó y descubrió que “está claro que algunas mujeres experimentan tristeza, dolor y sentimientos de pérdida tras la interrupción de un embarazo, y algunas experimentan trastornos clínicamente significativos, como depresión y ansiedad”.

Si su novia hace algún comentario que sugiera que está contemplando el suicidio, comuníquese con un médico o un profesional de la salud mental de inmediato. Puede comunicarse con la Línea Nacional de Prevención del Suicidio 24/7 al 1-800-273-8255.

Busque el apoyo de Avail NYC

Si alguno de los dos siente que necesita apoyo adicional durante este tiempo, no duden en buscarlo en Avail NYC . Tener la presencia de un tercero objetivo puede ser beneficioso para superar las conversaciones difíciles con más facilidad y encontrar formas de avanzar hacia la recuperación más rápido de lo que les permitiría intentarlo por su propia cuenta.

En general, sea cual sea el camino hacia la sanación, ¡sepa que siempre hay esperanza! Con paciencia y comprensión en la pareja, incluso en tiempos difíciles, la verdadera recuperación y la paz son posibles.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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7 Posibles Causas del Retraso del Período

Tue, 31 Jan 2023 22:14:59 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Si le ocurre como a muchas mujeres, su período suele ser bastante habitual. Pero a veces puede retrasarse o incluso faltar por completo. Aunque esto pueda parecer preocupante, no siempre significa que algo vaya mal con su salud; de hecho, hay una serie de razones habituales por las que su período puede retrasarse o faltar por completo.

Si ha mantenido recientemente relaciones sexuales sin protección y cree que puede estar embarazada de forma inesperada, Avail NYC ofrece pruebas de embarazo gratis y de calidad médica que se entregan discretamente a las personas de la zona triestatal.

Estrés

Los altos niveles de estrés pueden desequilibrar las hormonas, lo que puede provocar retrasos en el período o la ausencia total de ciclos. Si recientemente ha experimentado mucha ansiedad en su vida, esto podría explicar el retraso de la menstruación.

Cambios de Peso o de Dieta

Las fluctuaciones significativas de peso pueden afectar a los niveles hormonales y provocar períodos irregulares y, en algunos casos, la ausencia total de la menstruación. Del mismo modo, comer demasiado poco o demasiado (sobre todo si la comida contiene cantidades bajas de nutrientes) puede alterar el equilibrio natural de nuestro cuerpo y llevarnos a un ciclo irregular en el que no tengamos la menstruación o la tengamos más tarde de lo habitual.

Envejecimiento/Menopausia

A medida que envejecemos, nuestro sistema reproductivo empieza a ralentizarse de forma natural, lo que puede hacer que no tengamos el período de vez en cuando hasta que llegue oficialmente la menopausia. Si tiene más de 45 años y nota otros síntomas como cambios de humor, dificultad para dormir, sofocos o incluso sudores nocturnos, hable con su médico.

Viajes o Jet Lag

Las alteraciones causadas por los viajes a través de múltiples zonas horarias pueden alterar los ritmos naturales del cuerpo que conducen a la menstruación; esto debería corregirse por sí mismo una vez que se adapte de nuevo a la rutina.

Pastillas Anticonceptivas

Ciertos tipos de pastillas anticonceptivas u otros anticonceptivos hormonales pueden afectar el momento y la frecuencia del período. Cuando se toman anticonceptivos, es habitual que el período se produzca a intervalos irregulares debido a las fluctuaciones hormonales provocadas por las pastillas.

Enfermedad o Infección

A veces, las enfermedades como los resfriados y los virus de la gripe también interfieren en los procesos hormonales y provocan retrasos, pero por suerte estas afecciones suelen resolverse por sí solas una semana después de la recuperación. Así que, si todo lo demás falla, asegúrese de descansar lo suficiente cuando se sienta indispuesta.

Embarazo

Esta probablemente sea la razón en la que primero piensa la gente cuando se retrasa el período. Si ha mantenido relaciones sexuales sin protección, lo mejor que puede hacer es someterse a una prueba de embarazo tan pronto como sea posible. Es importante que no cunda el pánico si los resultados son positivos: hay muchos recursos disponibles si se siente abrumada o insegura sobre los pasos a seguir. No tiene que pasar por esto sola.

En Avail NYC , damos apoyo y orientación confidencial a mujeres y hombres que enfrentan una decisión de embarazo no planeado. Ofrecemos citas virtuales y en persona con nuestros asesores atentos que pueden guiarle a través de sus opciones. Nuestro equipo puede darle el apoyo que está buscando.

La falta o el retraso del período no siempre significa que esté ocurriendo algo grave; a veces, se debe simplemente a factores cotidianos como los que se mencionan arriba. En cualquier caso, siempre es importante estar atenta a cualquier cambio que se produzca en su cuerpo para poder detectar a tiempo un posible embarazo inesperado. Si quiere que le ayuden en su viaje, Avail NYC puede ayudarle con pruebas disponibles de embarazo gratis y autoadministradas.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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My Girlfriend Just Told Me She Had an Abortion

Fri, 20 Jan 2023 17:25:20 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

It's never easy to process the news that your girlfriend has had an abortion in her past. It can bring up a lot of mixed emotions, from grief and sadness to confusion and anger. However, it is important to remember that healing is possible after this difficult experience.

Here are some tips for how you can heal together:

Talk Openly About the Abortion

Open communication between partners is key when it comes to healing from any kind of trauma or pain.

In every aspect, it’s important to approach this conversation openly and with respect. It's taken a lot of courage for your girlfriend to come to you with this. Let her know that you are there for her when she's ready to talk about what happened and how she feels about it now. Showing empathy will help create a safe environment where both of you feel comfortable talking freely without judgment or shame attached to the topic at hand.

Spend Quality Time Together

Taking breaks away from discussing the abortion will help keep things lighthearted while still allowing both you and your girlfriend space for growth and understanding.

Doing something fun such as going on walks outside, playing board games indoors, dancing to music, or engaging in creative activities (like painting) could be great ways just spend quality time with each other while also providing emotional outlets where necessary.

Watch Out for Triggers

It’s important to understand that your girlfriend might either have a whole range of negative emotions, or none, tied to the abortion experience. As a supportive partner, you can learn about Post-Abortion Syndrome Symptoms (PASS) , a condition that the American Psychological Association researched that found “it is clear that some women do experience sadness, grief, and feelings of loss following termination of a pregnancy, and some experience clinically significant disorders, including depression and anxiety.”

If your girlfriend makes any comments suggesting she is contemplating suicide, contact a physician or mental health professional immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be reached 24/7.

Seek Support from Avail NYC

If either one of you feels like they need extra support during this time, don't hesitate to seek out support from Avail NYC . Having an objective third-party present may be beneficial for getting through tough conversations more easily and finding ways forward towards recovery faster than trying on your own might allow for.

Overall, no matter what the path towards healing looks like, know that there’s always hope! With patience and understanding between partners — even amidst challenging times — true recovery and peace are possible.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

¿Qué tan precisas son las calculadoras de concepción en línea?

Thu, 29 Dec 2022 16:00:02 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Una de las primeras preguntas que las mujeres se hacen cuando se enteran de que están embarazadas es “¿cuándo voy a dar a luz?” Saber la fecha calculada del parto permite planificar un embarazo saludable y estar preparada para la llegada del bebé. Las calculadoras de embarazo pueden ser herramientas eficaces para aproximar la fecha del parto, pero es importante comprender que cualquier calculadora que use solo le dará un cálculo y que las probabilidades de dar a luz en esa fecha exacta son escasas.

¿Cómo funcionan las calculadoras de embarazo?

Ya sea que use una calculadora de embarazo en línea o si un médico o una comadrona le dan el cálculo de su fecha de parto, generalmente se usan dos métodos para calcularla. La primera opción es calcular la fecha de parto basándose en la fecha de su último período menstrual. La segunda opción es basar el cálculo en la fecha de concepción .

Para calcular su fecha de parto basada en su ciclo menstrual, cuente cuarenta semanas a partir de la fecha de su último período. Para calcular su fecha de parto basada en la fecha de concepción, cuente treinta y ocho semanas a partir de la fecha exacta o aproximada en que cree que concibió.

¿Qué tan exactas son las calculadoras de embarazo?

Solo una de cada veinte mujeres da a luz en la fecha de parto prevista. Es importante comprender que una calculadora de embarazo basada en su fecha de concepción le dará un buen cálculo del nacimiento del bebé. Sin embargo, la mayoría de las mujeres no saben la fecha exacta de concepción, lo que hace difícil calcular una fecha de parto exacta. También es posible que la concepción no haya ocurrido el mismo día en que tuvo relaciones sexuales, ya que su óvulo puede haber sido fecundado uno o dos días después por un espermatozoide que estaba esperando en la trompa de Falopio.

Por este motivo, la mayoría de los expertos en atención médica recomiendan calcular su fecha de parto basándose en la fecha de su último período menstrual. Incluso usando el método del período menstrual, solo tiene un cálculo de su fecha de parto. Un médico o una comadrona pueden modificar su fecha de parto durante el embarazo basándose en los resultados de una ecografía que les mostrarán factores impactantes como el tamaño del bebé. Para estar mejor preparada para la llegada del bebé, use una calculadora de embarazo como guía, pero tenga en cuenta que finalmente puede dar a luz en cualquier momento en una o dos semanas antes de la fecha de parto prevista.

Servicio apoyo al embarazo

Avail NYC ofrece una variedad de servicios de apoyo gratuitos y remisiones para ayudar a las mujeres y las parejas que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado a mantenerse saludables y preparadas. Comuníquese con nosotros hoy mismo para obtener más información sobre cómo podemos ayudarla a tomar una decisión informada y segura.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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Qué Esperar de la Primera Sesión Después del Aborto en Avail NYC

Mon, 12 Dec 2022 21:45:00 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Su primera sesión después del aborto en Avail NYC

Si tuvo un aborto (o más), no está sola. Los estudios muestran que una de cuatro mujeres en Estados Unidos ha interrumpido un embarazo. Si está teniendo emociones confusas o molestas después de un aborto, tampoco está sola. Muchas mujeres y sus parejas reportan que, aunque se sienten aliviados, también hay una tristeza inexplicable, falta de motivación, problemas para dormir, etc. Algunas personas tienen estas emociones confusas inmediatamente después de su aborto, mientras que otras los sorprenden estos sentimientos años o hasta décadas después. En cualquier caso, la American Counseling Association anima a sus clientes a deshacerse de las emociones relacionadas con el aborto. Este es un buen consejo, pero ¿qué pasa si no puede pagar la orientación y siente que sus amigos más cercanos o familiares no lo entienden o no quieren hablar al respecto?

Un espacio seguro para procesar las emociones

Avail NYC existe para hacer esto precisamente, ofreciendo un espacio seguro y compasivo para mujeres y sus parejas para procesar sus experiencias después del aborto para encontrar sanación y libertad. Avail NYC es una organización sin fines de lucro fundada por mujeres y hombres que han tenido esta experiencia y que querían crear un espacio libre y seguro para que se tengan estas conversaciones. Aquí está la descripción de cómo será su primera cita.

Primero, puede programar una cita para nuestro programa Hope . Ofrecemos citas tanto para mujeres como para parejas, además de citas virtuales y en persona para cubrir sus necesidades .

Después, cuando llega a la oficina de Avail o se conecte a la llamada, conocerá a su asesor de manera individual. Así es como un cliente anterior, que tenía emociones no resueltas después del aborto de su novia, describió su reunión con su asesor:

“(Mi asesor) reveló que hablar sobre las cosas es probablemente la mejor manera de empezar a sanar. Había estado reprimiendo todo, pero comencé a darme cuenta de que era hora de sacarlo. Y Nathan* solamente escuchó sin juzgar y sin prejuicios. Toda mi perspectiva comenzó a cambiar”.

Otro cliente contó una experiencia similar: “Estaba muy nerviosa de hablar abiertamente sobre mi duelo por el aborto. Hannah* fue muy amable y comprensiva. Aunque fue nuestra primera reunión, sentí que podía irme con una mejor manera de interpretar mi dolor”.

Su asesor escuchará su historia y lo orientará mediante herramientas prácticas que lo ayudarán a procesar sus emociones y crear hábitos saludables. Puede completar ejercicios de autoreflexión, priorizar sus valores e identificar mecanismos de afrontamiento. Puede continuar reuniéndose con su asesor todo el tiempo que sea necesario, sin costo para usted.

La ayuda que se ajusta a sus necesidades

Avail NYC también ofrece grupos de apoyo para mujeres que han tenido un aborto. En estas reuniones, al igual que en las sesiones individuales, un asesor experto orientará al grupo compartiendo sus propias historias y aplicando herramientas prácticas para sanar. Este apoyo es gratis y confidencial.

Nuestros asesores de confianza también tuvieron un aborto. Una de ellas compartió: “tuve dos abortos de los que no pude hablar durante mucho tiempo. Nadie entendía mi devastadora tristeza. Descendía sobre mi como una nube oscura a pesar de que fui yo quien eligió interrumpir dos embarazos”. Talvez pueda identificarse con su tristeza, o con la culpa, la confusión, el dolor o el trauma. Puede sentir estas cosas, incluso si se arrepiente de haber abortado. Independientemente de lo que sienta, Avail está aquí para ayudarla a superarlo. Todos nuestros servicios son gratuitos y confidenciales.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

*Los nombres se cambiaron por confidencialidad.

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Cómo Saber Si un Embarazo es Viable

Thu, 01 Dec 2022 12:45:00 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Hay cientos de emociones diferentes que puede sentir después de enterarse que está inesperadamente embarazada. Un aspecto clave a la hora de decidir cómo seguir adelante es recopilar los datos necesarios para tomar una decisión segura e informada. Una de las cosas que debe saber es si su embarazo es viable o no.

Aquí hablaremos de lo que es la viabilidad, de cómo determinar un embarazo viable con una ecografía y por qué una ecografía es útil cuando todavía no ha tomado una decisión sobre el embarazo .

Pruebas de embarazo caseras

Si ya tuvo un resultado positivo en la prueba de embarazo casera , es posible que se pregunte por qué también necesita una ecografía. La prueba de embarazo mostró que está embarazada; así que ya tiene su respuesta ¿verdad? No exactamente.

Una prueba de embarazo casera con orina revela si se detecta en su sistema la hormona humana del embarazo gonadotropina (hCG). Lo que una prueba de embarazo no puede hacer es determinar si su embarazo es viable o no.

¿Qué es la viabilidad?

Viabilidad se define como la capacidad de vivir. En el embarazo, un embarazo viable es el que es saludable y que tiene probabilidades de concluir con un nacimiento vivo si la mujer decide llevar el embarazo a término.

Un embarazo no viable es el que no tiene posibilidad de sobrevivir. Un embarazo no viable puede incluir un embarazo ectópico , que es cuando el óvulo fecundado se adhiere al exterior del útero, o un feto que no está vivo. La manera principal de determinar la viabilidad de un embarazo es con una ecografía.

Cómo saber si su embarazo es viable con una ecografía

En el primer trimestre de su embarazo, el profesional de atención médica puede determinar con una ecografía si su embarazo es viable o no. Una ecografía usa ondas de sonido indoloras para crear una fotografía en una pantalla, y le da al profesional de atención médica información importante sobre tu embarazo. Al principio del embarazo puede determinar la localización del embarazo, el tiempo de embarazo y si su embarazo es viable.

En un embarazo viable, la ecografía revelará que el embarazo está en el útero y tiene una frecuencia cardíaca fetal saludable. Si el embrión tiene una frecuencia cardíaca muy lenta (bradicardia fetal) para su edad gestacional, el riego de un aborto espontáneo es mayor.

¿Por qué necesito una ecografía?

Ya hablamos de que necesita una ecografía para determinar si su embarazo es viable, o no. Pero ¿por qué necesita esa información si no está segura si continuará con su embarazo?

Entre otras cosas, la ecografía le dirá qué tan avanzado está el embarazo, lo que impactará en las opciones de aborto y en las decisiones de crianza de los hijos o adopción si decide continuar con su embarazo. También ayudará a saber cuánto tiempo tiene para tomar su decisión. Muchas mujeres se sorprenden al saber que tienen semanas y no días para decidir sobre su embarazo inesperado. Lo más probable es que tenga tiempo. Y como siempre, tiene opciones.

Ecografías de embarazo asequibles

En Avail NYC , estamos comprometidos con darle la información que merece para tomar la mejor decisión para usted. Ofrecemos un programa de remisiones médicas para conectar a los clientes con organizaciones que hacen ecografías gratis o de bajo costo. Tiene el derecho de acceder a una atención de calidad. Comuníquese con nosotros hoy mismo para programar una cita y obtener más información sobre nuestros servicios gratuitos y confidenciales.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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¿Cuándo es seguro quedar embarazada después de un aborto?

Mon, 28 Nov 2022 15:45:00 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

La decisión de tener un aborto es complicada. Con frecuencia las mujeres se preguntan cómo afectará esa decisión a su capacidad de tener hijos en el futuro.

Abortar no significa el fin de sus posibilidades de tener un hijo. En la mayoría de los casos, el procedimiento no afecta su fertilidad . Aún puede concebir, tener un embarazo saludable y dar a luz de manera segura.

También está la pregunta de qué tan pronto puede quedar embarazada otra vez después de su procedimiento. ¿Necesita usar anticonceptivos de inmediato para evitar otro embarazo?

Hay mucha información errónea sobre los abortos, por lo que es importante conocer los hechos. Es importante conocer su fertilidad, tanto si está tratando de quedar embarazada o quiera evitarlo. ¿Cuándo es seguro quedar embarazada después de un aborto?

¿Qué tan pronto puede quedar embarazada después de un aborto?

Los cuerpos de dos mujeres no funcionan de la misma manera, pero la respuesta es pronto para la mayoría de las mujeres. Al tener un aborto se reinicia sus períodos y su ciclo menstrual.

Para la mayoría de las mujeres, la ovulación ocurre el día 14 de su ciclo menstrual de 28-días . Esto significa que lo más probable es que ovule a las pocas semanas de haber abortado.

En otras palabras, aunque no haya tenido el período, es posible quedar embarazada otra vez si tiene relaciones sexuales sin protección en las semanas siguientes al procedimiento.

Por supuesto, hay una serie de factores que puedan cambiar las cosas. Por ejemplo, no todas las mujeres tienen un ciclo de 28 días. Algunas mujeres pueden ovular pocos días después del procedimiento. También, que tan avanzado estaba su embarazo puede ser un factor determinante. Las hormonas del embarazo pueden quedarse en su sistema durante varias semanas, aunque ya no esté embarazada. Esto retrasará la ovulación y la menstruación.

¿Cuánto tiene que esperar una mujer después de un aborto?

Dos preguntas importantes suelen surgir para las mujeres después de un aborto:

¿Cuánto se debe esperar para tener relaciones sexuales?
¿Cuánto se debe esperar para quedar embarazada otra vez?

El médico y el personal hablarán con usted sobre cuándo podrá tener relaciones sexuales después de su procedimiento. Para la mayoría de las mujeres, la respuesta es de una a dos semanas. Sin embargo, tendrá que esperar, por lo menos, una semana para reducir el riesgo de una infección.

La decisión de quedar embarazada otra vez es también algo que debe hablar con su médico. Hay muchas cosas que tomar en cuenta antes de tomar la decisión más allá de cuándo su cuerpo es físicamente capaz de engendrar un bebé.

Debe asegurarse de que emocionalmente está preparada para este importante cambio de vida. Además, si hubo complicaciones con un embarazo anterior o con su aborto, entonces, esto podría afectar esta opción.

Las posibles complicaciones de un aborto quirúrgico incluyen:

Una infección
Desgarro cervical
Perforación del útero
Tejido retenido
Reacción alérgica

A menudo, no hay un motivo para esperar si el momento es adecuado para usted más allá de la semana o dos que se abstenga de tener relaciones sexuales. Una vez que su médico le da su aprobación y se sienta preparada mentalmente, puede empezar a tratar de quedar embarazada.

¿Cuándo necesita usar anticonceptivos después de un aborto?

Algunas mujeres consideran un método anticonceptivo reversible, pero de larga duración como un dispositivo intrauterino (Intrauterine Device, IUD) o un implante hormonal después de un aborto. La píldora “del día después” (“Morning After pill”) es algo que se tomaría si tuviera relaciones sexuales sin protección y quiere evitar un embarazo. Si quiere obtener más información sobre la anticoncepción de emergencia y qué opciones tiene disponibles, hable con un asesor imparcial de Avail para obtener la información que necesita en un espacio seguro.

¿Existe la posibilidad de que no pueda quedar embarazada después de un aborto?

Habrá factores de riesgo con cualquier procedimiento médico o quirúrgico. Pero, en general, hay poco que apoye la idea que el aborto afecta la fertilidad futura. Muchas mujeres se vuelven madres, aunque se hagan el procedimiento en algún momento en sus vidas.

Los factores de riesgo exactos dependerán probablemente del tipo de procedimiento. Con un aborto médico se toma una píldora al principio del embarazo. Hay poca evidencia que apoye que este proceso limitará su capacidad de quedar embarazada cuando esté preparada.

Los abortos quirúrgicos implican sacar el feto. Por lo tanto, son raros los riesgos relacionados con esta forma de aborto. Por ejemplo, puede desarrollar una infección que dañe su útero. También es posible que tenga algunas cicatrices que impacten su capacidad para tener un bebé, especialmente si tiene varios abortos.

La clave es hacer todo lo posible para evitar complicaciones. El aborto debe hacerse en un entorno seguro y estéril . Cualquier método de aborto que no se haga por un médico se considera inseguro y puede tener como consecuencia dificultades graves, problemas reproductivos y de salud a largo plazo.

Además, hay que seguir todas las recomendaciones que da la clínica para evitar posibles problemas como evitar tener relaciones sexuales durante una semana o más.

¿Cuándo se debe visitar un médico?

Si decide que quiere quedar embarazada otra vez, no está demás hacerse un chequeo para asegurarse de que está en la mejor condición posible.

Después de un aborto, debe buscar un médico de su confianza para hacerse un chequeo de bienestar. Si tiene sangrado abundante, malestar, flujo vaginal inusual o tiene fiebre varios días después del procedimiento, esto puede ser un indicio de infección. Es importante programar una cita tan pronto como sea posible para recibir tratamiento ya que las infecciones pueden causar problemas de infertilidad en el futuro.

Si quiere hablar con alguien sobre su experiencia con el aborto, programe una cita con uno de nuestros atentos asesores en Avail NYC . Tenemos los recursos y las herramientas para ayudarla.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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Todo lo que Siempre Quiso Saber Sobre la Píldora Abortiva

Thu, 17 Nov 2022 16:00:02 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Con los recientes cambios en la atención médica, la píldora abortiva está recibiendo más atención. Podría ser una respuesta para alguien que tiene un embarazo inesperado y su uso ha ido en aumento en los últimos años. El Guttmacher Institute calcula que alrededor de la mitad de todos los abortos se hacen con esta píldora. Entonces ¿qué es una píldora abortiva y cuáles son sus efectos secundarios?

¿Qué es una píldora abortiva?

La píldora abortiva son dos medicamentos que, juntos, son lo que los profesionales de la atención médica llaman aborto médico. Es una opción popular para algunos porque es algo que pueden hacer en casa en lugar de ir a una clínica para un procedimiento quirúrgico.

La primera píldora es la mifepristone. Una vez que la toma, espera de 24 a 48 horas antes de empezar a tomar el segundo medicamento, el misoprostol.

A diferencia de un aborto quirúrgico, los abortos médicos no son invasivos, pero hay que tener en cuenta algunos riesgos como:

El aborto incompleto significa que parte del tejido queda en el útero y se necesita intervención quirúrgica
Sangrado abundante que dura más de lo normal
Una infección
Fiebre alta
Malestar en el estómago
También es posible que el tratamiento no funcione y siga embarazada

Al menos un estudio encontró que entre el 7 y 4 por ciento de mujeres que tuvieron un aborto médico necesitaron transfusión debido a la pérdida excesiva de sangre. No hubo evidencia de que alguien muriera por tomar la píldora abortiva o que necesitara una histerectomía debido a su uso.

¿Cómo funcionan las píldoras abortivas?

Cuando una persona queda embarazada, el cuerpo aumenta su producción de la hormona reproductiva progesterona. El primer medicamento, el mifepristone , inhibe la producción de esta hormona. Como es necesaria para mantener un embarazo viable, el útero expulsará su contenido cuando la progesterona se detenga.

El segundo fármaco, misoprostol , ayuda a que el útero se vacíe completamente. Estimula las contracciones uterinas y el sangrado, lo que ayuda a limpiar el órgano.

Aproximadamente 14 días después de tomar el segundo medicamento, se vuelve a hacer una prueba de embarazo o una ecografía para confirmar que ya no está embarazada.

Los efectos secundarios de la píldora abortiva

El objetivo de estos medicamentos es que el útero se contraiga y se vacíe, de manera similar a un período. Las personas que toman la píldora abortiva generalmente tienen sangrado y calambres. Algunas veces, el sangrado será abundante. Algunas personas también tienen fiebre baja, escalofríos y sofocos.

La recomendación es que se comunique con un profesional de la atención médica si el sangrando pasa a través de dos toallas sanitarias pesadas por hora o si tiene temperatura arriba de 110.4. Una compresa térmica sobre el vientre y analgésicos de venta libre como el acetaminophen o el ibuprofen pueden ayudar a manejar los calambres.

Es posible que tenga sangrado y calambres durante tres o cinco horas. Debería tener su período regular alrededor de dos semanas después del aborto.

¿De cuántas semanas de embarazo puedo tomar la píldora abortiva?

Generalmente, una persona puede tomar la píldora abortiva si tiene menos de tres semanas de embarazo. Sin embargo, no es la opción adecuada para alguien que tenga un embarazo ectópico o que tenga un desorden de coagulación de sangre.

Las leyes también varían de un estado a otro en cuanto al uso. Desde que la FDA la puso a disposición para enviarse por correo, la puede conseguir en los 50 estados, sin embargo puede haber limitaciones legales. En Nueva York , las personas que quieren un aborto médico usando esta píldora, pueden hacerlo sin siquiera visitar a un médico. Solo necesita hablar con un proveedor para conseguir el medicamento en persona o por correo.

Cómo obtener apoyo a la hora de tomar una decisión

Los sentimientos de ansiedad e incertidumbre aumentan cuando un embarazo no se planifica y no está segura de las opciones que tiene. Si no tiene una red fuerte de amigos o familiares que no la juzguen para que le expliquen sus opciones, puede ser difícil tomar una decisión con la que se sienta segura.

Avail NYC da información completamente imparcial y confidencial sobre el aborto junto con información y apoyo para todas las opciones disponibles . Si se enfrenta a un embarazo inesperado y no está segura de sus próximos pasos, programe una cita para un procedimiento de aborto hoy mismo. También damos remisiones a centros médicos de terceros para una cita obstetra/ginecológica gratis o de bajo costo si la quiere.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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No Quiero Que Mi Novia Aborte

Thu, 03 Nov 2022 18:15:00 GMT

Si su novia está embarazada, puede ser un desafío saber cómo ser un apoyo para ella mientras maneja sus propios pensamientos y sentimientos sobre el embarazo. Un embarazo inesperado es muy difícil de procesar para todos los implicados. Muchos hombres pueden pensar que no deberían tener sentimientos en torno a un embarazo inesperado, pero en realidad es normal que los hombres se sientan temerosos, abrumados y ansiosos por las decisiones que se avecinan.

Es importante intentar comprender a su pareja y crear un espacio seguro en este proceso.

Cómo Comprender a su Novia

Es posible que no sepa lo que necesita su novia en un embarazo inesperado, lo que puede llevarlo a pensar que debe hacerse a un lado y dejar que ella decida por sí misma. Aunque no esté seguro de lo que ella necesita, manténgase presente. Recuérdele a su novia que está ahí para ella y comprométase a apoyarla en este proceso. Escuche atentamente sus temores y preocupaciones.

La decisión de abortar es una decisión que concierne solo a usted y su pareja, aquí tiene algunas maneras de crear un entorno de apoyo y un espacio seguro para su pareja mientras atraviesan por un embarazo inesperado.

Si Ella Quiere Abortar

Las mujeres pueden elegir un tener un aborto por una variedad de motivos. Puede sentir que no es el momento adecuado para tener un hijo debido a motivos prácticos como preocupaciones económicas y su propósito de alcanzar ciertos objetivos. Puede tener temor de compartir la noticia de un embarazo con su familia o amigos por una posible respuesta negativa. Otro motivo por el que pueda considerar un aborto es porque no se siente segura o apoyada en la relación.

Comparta sus sentimientos con ella siendo sensible sin transmitir su ansiedad a su pareja. Tómese el tiempo para pensar en sus sentimientos y dígale a su pareja que quiere hablar. Tenga cuidado en no demorarse en compartir sus sentimientos y apoyo. Escuche y hable de manera respetuosa, sin que ella sienta que usted la presionada o la juzga.

Si Ella Está Indecisa

Muchos hombres creen que la mejor manera de demostrar su apoyo es diciendo una combinación de lo siguiente: “Te apoyaré sin importar lo que elijas”, sin embargo, esto no da apoyo ni adopta una postura de responsabilidad. Esto probablemente sería una interacción frustrante para su novia. Del mismo modo, decir, “es tu decisión, apoyaré lo que decidas” pone todo el peso y la responsabilidad en su pareja, haciéndola sentir aún más sola.

Apoyar a su pareja, especialmente si no quiere que elija el aborto, significa tratar sus preocupaciones y asumir la responsabilidad y la iniciativa en lo que es su responsabilidad. Esto trata y valida activamente las preocupaciones de su novia.

Aquí hay maneras en las que puede apoyar a su novia en sus temores y preocupaciones.

Económicamente: dígale que quiere participar apoyándola en las necesidades económicas.
Familia: asegúrele a su pareja que estará a su lado cuando tenga conversaciones difíciles, comuníquese con un asesor en Avail NYC u otra persona sensata y confiable para ayudarlo a prepararse para cualquier conversación difícil.
Educación: manejar la educación mientras se enfrenta a un embarazo inesperado es un desafío, pero no es imposible. Demuéstrele que se compromete a asegurarse de que continúe cumpliendo sus objetivos educativos.
Paternidad: ya sea que la relación romántica continúe o no, es importante que demuestre su compromiso de ser un padre comprometido y presente. Probablemente este sea uno de los aspectos y responsabilidades más importantes que tenga al apoyar a su novia en un embarazo inesperado.
Relación: ser una persona confiable es un factor clave cuando se enfrenta un embarazo inesperado. Demuéstrele que puede confiar en usted. Esto puede significar tratar áreas de su vida que les falta madurez o necesitan más desarrollo. Está bien si todavía hay áreas en las que necesita crecer, al demostrarle que la escuchará, ella creerá que es una persona confiable para ser padre o copadre.

Hay muchos recursos disponibles para apoyar a los hombres y mujeres en el proceso de tomar una decisión. Puede ser útil hablar con alguien que haya tomado la decisión que está considerando. En Avail NYC, puede hablar confidencialmente con asesores sobre sus opciones .

En Todas las Situaciones, Cree un Espacio Seguro

Tomar una decisión sobre un embarazo inesperado es importante y considerar todos los “qué pasaría si” en cada opción puede ser abrumador. Llevar un embarazo a término o tener un aborto afectará de manera inmediata a su pareja físicamente. Cree un espacio seguro para que su pareja comparta sus sentimientos con usted. Si se siente presionada por usted (hacia cualquiera de las dos decisiones), puede que no se sienta cómoda para procesar sinceramente sus sentimientos con usted. Piense bien lo que quiere compartir con ella y evite ser manipulador. No la avergüence por considerar un aborto, pero escúchela con paciencia.

Consiga Apoyo Para Usted y su Novia

Si todavía no sabe qué decir, Avail NYC tiene asesores capacitados e imparciales que están aquí para ayudar en un espacio de apoyo y sin prejuicios. Puede reunirse con un asesor individualmente o con su pareja . Estamos aquí para apoyarlos en este recorrido.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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I Don't Want My Girlfriend To Get An Abortion

Thu, 03 Nov 2022 10:15:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

If your girlfriend is pregnant, it can be challenging to know how to be a support to her while navigating your own thoughts and feelings about the pregnancy. An unexpected pregnancy is a lot to process, for everyone involved. Many men may think they shouldn’t have feelings surrounding an unexpected pregnancy, but it’s actually normal for men to feel fearful, overwhelmed, and anxious about the decisions ahead.

It is important to try to understand your partner and create a safe space in this process.

Understanding Your Girlfriend

You might not know what your girlfriend needs in an unexpected pregnancy which may lead you to feel like you should back off and let her decide on her own. Even if you are not sure what she needs, stay present. Remind your girlfriend that you are there for her and commit to supporting her through this process. Actively listen to her fears and concerns.

An abortion decision is an intimate decision between you and your partner; here are a few practical ways for you to create a supportive environment and safe space for your partner as you navigate through an unexpected pregnancy.

If She Wants An Abortion

Women may choose to have an abortion for a variety of reasons. She may feel that it is not the right time for her to have a child because of practical reasons like financial concerns and her desire to reach specific goals. She may fear sharing the news of a pregnancy with family or friends because of a potentially negative response. Another reason she may consider abortion is that she doesn’t feel safe with or supported in the relationship.

Share your feelings with her vulnerably without dumping your anxiety on your partner. Take time to think through your feelings for yourself and let your partner know you want to talk. Be cautious not to delay sharing your feelings and support. Listen and speak in a respectful manner, not making her feel pressure or judgment from you.

If She's Undecided

Many men feel that being supportive is best displayed by saying a derivative of the following: “I’ll support you no matter what you choose”, however, this doesn't provide support nor take a posture of responsibility. This would probably be a frustrating interaction for your girlfriend. Similarly, saying, “It’s your choice, I’ll support whatever you decide”, puts the full weight and responsibility on your partner, making her feel even more alone.

Being supportive, especially if you don’t want your girlfriend to choose abortion, looks like addressing your girlfriend’s concerns and taking accountability and initiative in the areas you are responsible. This looks like actively validating your girlfriend’s concerns and addressing them.

Here are ways you can be supportive in your girlfriend’s fears and concerns.

Financial: Express the desire to participate in supporting financial needs.
Family : Assure your partner you will be by her side when she has difficult conversations , connect with a client advocate at Avail NYC or another wise and trusted person to help prepare for any difficult conversations.
Education : Navigating education while facing an unexpected pregnancy is challenging, but not impossible. Show her you are committed to ensuring she is able to continue to meet her educational goals.
Fatherhood : Whether or not a romantic relationship continues, it is important that you demonstrate a commitment to being an engaged and present father. This is perhaps one of the most important aspects and responsibilities you have when supporting your girlfriend in an unexpected pregnancy .
Relationship: Being a safe person is a key factor when facing an unexpected pregnancy. Show her you can be trusted. This may mean addressing areas of your life that lack maturity and or need more development. It’s ok if you still have areas where you need to grow, by showing her you’ll listen to her, she can trust you’re a safe person to parent or co-parent with.

There are many resources available to support women and men in the decision-making process. It can be helpful to speak with someone who has made the decision you are considering. At Avail NYC, you can speak confidentially with male client advocates about your options .

In All Situations, Create a Safe Space

Making a decision about an unexpected pregnancy is significant and considering all the “what ifs” in each option can be overwhelming. Carrying a pregnancy to term or going through an abortion will most immediately affect your partner physically. Make a safe space for your partner to share her feelings with you. If she is feeling pressure from you (towards either decision), she may not feel comfortable to honestly process her feelings with you. Think through what you want to share with her and avoid being manipulative. Do not shame her for considering an abortion, but listen patiently.

Get Support For You & Your Girlfriend

If you're still struggling with what to say, Avail NYC has trained, unbiased client advocates who are here to help in a supportive, non-jugmental space. You can meet with a male client advocate individually or with your partner . We are here to support you and her in this journey.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Cómo averiguar si está embarazada en casa con exactitud

Thu, 27 Oct 2022 18:00:00 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Cuando cree que puede estar embarazada, quiere una respuesta que sea rápida y exacta. Hacerse una prueba de embarazo casera es, en general, el primer paso para recibir las respuestas que necesita. Hay demasiadas pruebas de embarazo caseras entre las que elegir, y se estima que la mayoría de ellas tiene una exactitud mayor al 99%. ¿Cómo sabe cuál de ellas es la mejor prueba de embarazo casera para comprar? Analizaremos cómo funcionan, qué considerar en el momento de comprar una prueba y las pruebas de embarazo calificadas como las más exactas. Primero, analicemos cómo funcionan.

Cómo las pruebas de embarazo caseras detectan si está embarazada

Después de la concepción , el óvulo fertilizado se implanta en la pared uterina. El proceso se llama implantación y da señales a su cuerpo para empezar a producir hormonas de embarazo, incluida la gonadotropina coriónica humana (hCG). El nivel de hCG se duplica cada 48-72 horas después de la implantación. Las pruebas de embarazo caseras detectan si la hCG está presente en su orina para determinar si está embarazada o no.

Qué considerar cuando compra una prueba de embarazo casera

Cuando vaya a la tienda, probablemente se pregunte cuál es la mejor prueba de embarazo casera de todas las opciones. Hay varios puntos a considerar.

Las pruebas de embarazo más sensibles para detectar niveles más bajos de hCG son los análisis de sangre hechos por su proveedor de asistencia médica o las pruebas de embarazo caseras tempranas . Estos pueden detectar un embarazo a los seis días después de la ovulación. Lleva alrededor de ese tiempo para que un óvulo fertilizado viaje a través de la trompa de Falopio hacia el útero, se implante y empiece a producir suficiente hCG para que una prueba la identifique en su orina. Dependiendo de cuándo concibió, puede hacerse una prueba cinco días antes de su período esperado.

Hay ventajas y desventajas al hacerse una prueba de embarazo antes de la ausencia de su período, tales como:

Ventajas de la prueba de embarazo temprana:

Es posible que tenga unos días más para procesar la noticia y determinar sus siguientes pasos.
Puede empezar o interrumpir la toma de medicamentos o suplementos como vitaminas prenatales, bajo la aprobación de su proveedor de asistencia médica.
Puede hacer cambios en su estilo de vida antes si lo necesita.

Desventajas de la prueba de embarazo temprana:

Puede perderse un resultado positivo. En un entorno de laboratorio, el 76% de las mujeres obtendrán un resultado positivo cuando se hagan la prueba cinco días antes de su período calculado.
Esto es más costoso porque, en general, se debe hacer la prueba varias veces antes de recibir un resultado positivo.
Puede recibir un falso positivo como resultado si la prueba detecta un embarazo químico , que es un aborto espontáneo donde el embarazo termina de manera natural después de la implantación.

¿Alguna vez ha intentado leer una prueba de embarazo manual que parecía tener una tenue línea y no sabía si solo era una línea de evaporación o un tenue resultado positivo? Puede ser muy confuso. Si quiere evitar eso, elija una prueba con pantalla digital. Una prueba digital normalmente es más costosa que una manual, pero puede hacer valer la paz mental cuando el resultado se lee claramente como “embarazada” o “no embarazada”, o “sí” o “no”. Tenga en cuenta que una prueba digital puede ser más fácil de leer, pero no significa que sea más exacta que una prueba con tira reactiva.

¿Qué tan exacta es la prueba de embarazo?

Las pruebas de embarazo vienen con tiras reactivas. Cuando usa tiras reactivas, orinará directamente sobre la tira. Si compra una prueba de embarazo con tiras reactivas, orinará en un frasco y mantendrá la tira en la orina de acuerdo con las instrucciones del envase.

Para recibir los resultados de prueba de embarazo más exactos después de haber perdido su período, asegúrese de que la prueba no haya expirado, y siga las instrucciones con cuidado. Aun así, puede estar preguntándose qué marcas están calificadas como las más exactas.

Prueba de embarazo de respuesta temprana First Response

La prueba de embarazo de respuesta temprana First Response™ se eligió coherentemente como la mejor y más exacta prueba de embarazo casera en general. Los beneficios incluyen los siguientes:

Puede hacerse la prueba cinco días antes de su período calculado (con un índice de exactitud del 76%).
Tiene un mango curvo, por lo que es menos propensa a las complicaciones.
Hay una versión manual y digital.
Puede detectar concentraciones de hCG en la orina tan bajas como 6.5 mIU/ml (muchas pruebas no detectan niveles inferiores a 25 mIU/ml).

Kit de prueba de embarazo digital Clearblue

La mayoría de las pruebas de embarazo usan líneas o el signo más para indicar si está embarazada. El kit de prueba de embarazo Clearblue ofrece una pantalla digital que indica “Embarazada” o “No embarazada”. Se estima que la prueba tiene una exactitud del 99% a partir del día en que se inicia su período. Esta prueba detecta hCG en la orina con un índice de 10 mIU/ml.

De todos modos, es importante que sepa que no tiene que comprar la prueba de embarazo casera más costosa para obtener resultados exactos. Mientras más tiempo esté embarazada, más hCG se detectará en su orina. Las pruebas First Response y Clearblue detectan hCG en niveles muy bajos de concentración, pero varias pruebas de farmacias funcionan con la misma efectividad.

Preguntas frecuentes sobre síntomas del embarazo

Pruebas de embarazo confidenciales en Midtown Manhattan y East Harlem

Si cree que puede estar embarazada, Avail NYC entrega pruebas de embarazo autoadministrables y gratis con calidad de laboratorio en Midtown Manhattan y East Harlem, que pueden detectar las hormonas del embarazo diez días después de la concepción y darle resultados en un plazo de tres a cinco minutos.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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Prueba de embarazo gratis y confidencial en Avail NYC

Tue, 11 Oct 2022 18:45:00 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Pruebas de embarazo en Midtown Manhattan y East Harlem

Para varias mujeres, experimentar las primeras señales de embarazo, como la ausencia de un período, náuseas o sensibilidad en las mamas puede ser muy emocionante; aun así, para otras, la posibilidad de un embarazo inesperado puede ser una montaña rusa de emociones. Si prefiere hacerse una prueba de embarazo autoadministrada con la ayuda de un equipo amable y compasivo en un entorno de apoyo, Avail NYC ofrece pruebas de embarazo gratis en un entorno libre de juicios.

Es natural sentirse asustada, preocupada o ansiosa ante un embarazo inesperado. Por más asombrosa que la maternidad sea, la perspectiva de tener un bebé es, en general, muy arrolladora, especialmente para quienes aún no lo han planeado y mucho menos para quienes no se hayan preparado. Tanto si se ha hecho una prueba de embarazo casera o si aún está intentando asimilar la posibilidad de quedar embarazada, podemos ayudarla.

La mayoría de las pruebas de embarazo caseras son muy efectivas y ofrecen una exactitud de hasta un 99%, pero incluso las mejores pruebas hechas en casa no pueden necesariamente garantizarle la seguridad y la precisión que usted se merece. En Avail NYC, nos complace proporcionar pruebas de embarazo hCG gratis con calidad de laboratorio a nuestras pacientes, que arrojan resultados basados en hormonas en tan solo de tres a cinco minutos. Con la capacidad para confirmar los resultados de su prueba hecha en casa o simplemente ofrecer un sustento solidario a lo largo del proceso de prueba, nuestro equipo puede garantizarle el acceso a la orientación que necesite.

Apoyo para todas las mujeres

En Avail NYC , estamos disponibles para proporcionarles apoyo confidencial y orientación a las mujeres de la ciudad de Nueva York de todas las edades y etapas de vida quienes estén afrontando un embarazo inesperado. Entendemos los retos que supone prepararse para una situación que no vio venir, y estamos listos para ayudarla en cada paso del camino. Con la ayuda que incluye una herramienta lineal para tomar decisiones y acceso a un defensor del cliente que pueda guiarla a través de sus opciones, nuestro equipo puede proporcionarle el apoyo que está buscando, sin importar la decisión que tome.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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Do Relationships Change After an Abortion?

Fri, 07 Oct 2022 20:15:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Experiencing an unexpected pregnancy and abortion can be overwhelming. There’s a lot you may have been through, both individually and with your partner. Things might not be the same with you and your partner; it’s common to face new challenges in your relationship after this experience. Identifying changes, learning to communicate, setting boundaries, and finding support can help you and your partner through this process.

What are You Feeling?

Many women struggle with a mix of difficult emotions following an abortion , including sorrow and regret, on top of lingering pain and discomfort. These emotions can be especially hard to cope with if you feel you have no one to go to for empathy and support.

Many men feel confused, impatient, and helpless in the face of their partner’s pain. Others feel despair as they grieve the loss of the pregnancy.

Communication often becomes strained as each partner attacks and isolates in an effort to self-protect and deal with their own hurt. Let’s face it: it’s hard to offer support to someone else when you are working through your own pain. If you and your partner have experienced any of these thoughts or emotions, you are not alone. They are very common following an abortion and would likely take a toll on any relationship.

Communicating with Your Partner After an Abortion

Communicating with your partner is essential as you walk through this post-abortion process together. Here are some tips on communicating well with your partner in the midst of this difficult time:

Actively Listen: Actively listening communicates to your partner that you care and want to understand what they are experiencing. Being willing to really hear and seek to understand one another is vital (even if you don’t understand at first). Practice putting away distractions and asking your partner questions about their thoughts and feeling about the abortion experience. Spend time journaling individually about the experience and your feelings surrounding it, and share those with each other. Listening well leads us to our next tip, showing empathy.
Show Empathy: As you listen to understand what your partner is feeling after an abortion, respond with empathy. Remind them that they are not alone in the journey of processing and healing from this experience. Share responsibility and be vulnerable about your feelings. Showing empathy to your partner expresses kindness, compassion, and care, even if you feel differently about the experience. Be cautious not to try to “fix” what your partner is feeling, rather experience those feelings with them.
Be Patient: Be patient with each other as you process your emotions. Sometimes it’s difficult to describe how you are thinking or feeling about your abortion. Understand that these things can come over time, and your thoughts and feeling may fluctuate. Be patient as you give each other time to heal, recognizing that the journey can be long and is not linear. Triggers will re-awaken your pain reminding you to take time to process and heal. It may be helpful to set specific times to talk about this experience, understanding that each partner may desire to talk about this differently.
Be Present: Remember that communication is non-verbal, too. Often, being consistently physically present with someone is most meaningful in hard times. Many people experience disenfranchised grief after an abortion. Being present with your partner in that grief and reminding them you are there for them through your actions means so much.

Set Healthy Boundaries

If over time your partner is unwilling to communicate with you in a healthy way, you may need to consider setting new boundaries that help you process and move forward after your abortion. If you are feeling angry, resentful , or triggered by your partner, it might be time to examine your boundaries in that relationship.

Boundaries do not need to be unkind or selfish, but actually express that you value your relationship in the long term. Think through what boundaries could help you (physical, emotional, time) and communicate those clearly with your partner. Let them know what you need and act on your boundaries. This short-term discomfort can benefit you and your partner as individuals and as a couple moving forward.

Get Help on Your Healing Journey

Talking this through with another trusted support person can be very helpful. Avail NYC offers a confidential space to talk about your relationship, help you process your pain, and support your journey toward healing.

If you or your partner would like additional help in developing a healthy relationship or processing a past abortion, we are here to help. Appointments are free and available for you to meet individually with a male or female advocate or together as a couple.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

La relación después del aborto: ¿Qué pasa si mi pareja no quiere hablar y yo sí?

Thu, 08 Sep 2022 16:45:00 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

El aborto es un evento significativo tanto para la mujer como para el hombre en una relación, y afecta a cada persona de manera distinta. Cuando comienza a transitar por la vida y su relación después de un aborto, es posible que surjan tensiones porque usted o su pareja quiere hablar de ello, pero la otra persona no quiere. Independientemente del bando en el que se encuentre, continúe leyendo para obtener algunos consejos sobre cómo tratar ambas situaciones, y sepa que Avail NYC ofrece servicios gratis de relación y posaborto si los quiere.

Las emociones pueden ser complicadas

Primero, es importante saber que puede sentir tanto alivio como dolor , y muchas otras emociones al mismo tiempo. Ya sea uno de ustedes, o ambos, pueden estar procesando emociones contradictorias, que pueden causar estrés en su relación, en especial si usted o su pareja no saben cómo contar estos sentimientos complejos.

No solo las emociones son complicadas de procesar y expresar, aun en el mejor de los días, sino que las dificultades comunicativas suelen surgir porque el aborto es una experiencia intrínsecamente desigual. Tal como lo explica Erika Krull, una proveedora de asistencia médica mental autorizada , “solo una persona puede hacerse el procedimiento, lo que crea una experiencia desigual en la pareja”. Esto puede generar tensión en una relación, y es entendible, pero es posible transitar por una comunicación sana durante este momento.

Cuando su pareja es quien no quiere hablar sobre el aborto

Si usted quiere hablar sobre el aborto y su pareja no, es entendible que sienta enojo. Quiere sentir apoyo e inclusión después de esta decisión. Hablar sobre las cosas de manera respetuosa es una parte fundamental en las relaciones sanas.

Al mismo tiempo, recuerde que cada persona procesa las cosas de forma distinta y tiene diferentes formas de comunicarse. En general, cuando una persona tiene dificultad para afrontar conversaciones difíciles, es posible que, sin darse cuenta, menosprecie la situación con bromas o evitando hablar sobre ello, pero no necesariamente significa que no tenga sentimientos. En realidad, puede significar que crea que esté ayudándole si oculta esos sentimientos.

Considere darle a su pareja algo de espacio y tiempo antes de sacar un tema de conversación, aún si le lleva un poco más de tiempo de lo preferido. Después, vea si puede ponerse de acuerdo sobre el momento en el que hablarán con honestidad sobre ello juntos. De esa manera, ambos pueden prepararse para la conversación. No debe preocuparse si esta sucede en el momento en que uno de ustedes no está listo.

Cuando al fin tengan la conversación, estos son algunos consejos para ayudar a su pareja a abrirse y querer hablar:

Tranquilice a su pareja diciéndole que se preocupa por su perspectiva y la relación.
Practique reflexionar lo que escucha. Aunque pueda sentir emociones que surgen en respuesta a lo que su pareja dice, intente aclarar qué está pensando y sintiendo su pareja antes de reaccionar. Por ejemplo: “Escucho que dices que... ¿esto es adecuado?” y “Cuando dices que..., ¿quieres decir que...?”.
En lugar de culpar, exprese sus emociones. Cuéntele a su pareja cómo se está sintiendo y cómo sus palabras le están haciendo sentir sin asumir motivos. Empiece por asumir buenas cosas sobre su pareja, y recuerde a lo largo de la conversación que esta también puede estar lidiando con emociones confusas y tener dificultad para decirlas.

Independientemente de cómo vaya la conversación, Avail NYC está aquí para usted junto con el grupo de apoyo posaborto si quiere ayuda para procesar sus emociones. Aunque sea importante hablar con su pareja, hay aspectos sobre el aborto que pueden ser fáciles de procesar junto a otros que hayan tenido experiencias similares. Avail NYC ofrece grupos de apoyo para mujeres, por separado, en su programa Hope (Esperanza) , y puede unirse tanto presencialmente como en línea.

Cuando es usted quien no quiere hablar sobre el aborto

Si es usted quien no quiere hablar sobre el aborto, pero su pareja sí, sus sentimientos tienen validez. Ya sea si su experiencia con el aborto fue fácil o difícil, es posible que no quiera hablar de ello. Aun así, esto también afecta la vida de su pareja, y hablar de ello puede ser bueno para su relación. El apoyo es para los dos: nunca debe sentirse forzado a hablar o hacer algo que no quiere, pero tener una conversación sobre una decisión importante que les afecta a ambos es una forma de mostrar amor y cariño por su relación.

A continuación, se describen puntos a tener en cuenta sobre la conversación, que pueden hacer que esta se sienta más accesible:

Acuerde una hora para tenerla, así podrá prepararse y no lo tomará por sorpresa en un mal momento.
Recuerde que no tiene que ser una conversación larga, y que puede poner límites al principio sobre cuánto quiere hablar.
Al final, puede establecer si quiere continuar la conversación y, si quiere, cuándo continuarla.
De antemano, considere anotar sus pensamientos sobre la experiencia. No solo anotarlos le ayudará a procesar las cosas de manera personal, sino que también puede ayudarle a aclarar qué quiere decir y cómo decirlo. Incluso puede escribir algunas notas para usted.
Si alguna otra persona que conozca sabe sobre el aborto, considere practicar con ella cómo quiere hablar del tema.
Exprese con claridad sus emociones, especialmente al principio. Por ejemplo: “Esta conversación me da miedo porque...” o “Esta conversación es difícil para mí. No sé por qué, y eso me hace sentir...”.

Lo más importante es que, si tiene miedo de tener una conversación con su pareja porque siente inseguridad, acuda a la Línea nacional de atención de violencia doméstica : 1.800.799.SAFE (7233).

Cursos de relación gratis y grupos de apoyo posaborto

El respeto hacia las necesidades emocionales de la otra persona y los deseos de comunicación son cruciales en este momento. Esto puede ser difícil de hacer por varias razones, por lo que Avail NYC ofrece capacitación en relación gratis para hombres y mujeres, y grupos de apoyo posaborto, de manera que pueda procesar sus emociones en un espacio seguro.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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Mi novia tiene programado un aborto: ¿Qué hago?

Wed, 17 Aug 2022 13:15:20 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Si su novia tiene programado un aborto, su pensamiento más urgente debe ser: ¿qué hago? Puede que ni usted ni su pareja sepan qué esperar. Quiere cumplir su parte y ofrecerle un buen apoyo, pero ¿cómo debe hacerlo?

Lea abajo para que su novia y usted se preparen para el procedimiento. Si necesitan a alguien con quien hablar antes o después del aborto, Avail NYC está aquí para ustedes.

Lo que necesita saber antes de un aborto

Antes de poder darle apoyo a su novia, debe conocer la información necesaria sobre el aborto. Investigue sobre qué esperar durante y después de un aborto para que pueda entender por lo que pasará su novia y animarla a recuperarse de forma segura. Habrá componentes físicos y emocionales en la recuperación de su novia , pero mucho de esto dependerá del tipo de aborto que se realice.

Dos tipos de aborto

El primer tipo de aborto es el no quirúrgico o médico, donde su novia recibirá dos conjuntos de píldoras por parte de su proveedor de asistencia médica que inducirán la terminación. Puede tomar el primer conjunto en el consultorio del proveedor de asistencia médica y el segundo en casa: el proceso tarda unos días en completarse. Las leyes del estado de Nueva York permiten esta opción hasta las 10 semanas de embarazo.

El segundo tipo de aborto es el quirúrgico o procedimental. Este procedimiento está disponible hasta las 24 semanas de embarazo o después de las 24 semanas en determinados casos en Nueva York. Dependiendo de cuántos meses de embarazo lleve su novia, el procedimiento será distinto.

Aunque su novia le diga que no necesita acompañarla en la cita quirúrgica, la mayoría de las mujeres informa de que se sienten profundamente solas cuando nadie las acompaña al procedimiento. Puede ser una experiencia muy emocional, y el hecho de que usted esté allí presente, aunque sea en la sala de espera, puede hacerla sentir cómoda.

Planifique qué decir

Algo clave que puede hacer en esta situación es iniciar conversaciones con su novia. Es importante que la conversación se mantenga activa y que también tenga paciencia con lo que ella necesite durante este momento demandante a nivel físico y emocional. No puede controlar cómo ella responda, pero puede controlar lo que usted diga.

A continuación, encontrará conversaciones importantes que puede tener:

Mantenga la conversación seria. Va a ser incómodo, pero resístase ante las ganas de hacer una broma o intentar animarla. Ella sentirá más apoyo sabiendo que usted tiene la intención de ser vulnerable o simplemente escuchar cualquier sentimiento encontrado que ella esté teniendo.
Tenga honestidad sobre sus emociones y afírmele su apoyo hacia ella. Es posible que ella se sienta agobiada y en conflicto y, aunque no se lo diga con palabras, quiere saber qué es lo que usted piensa. Contarle con honestidad cómo está procesando la situación puede fortalecer su relación y prevenir futuros conflictos. Siempre asegúrele que se compromete a solucionar las cosas juntos y que quiere conocer sus emociones sin juzgarla.
Acepte que reconoce y empatiza con el hecho de que ella tenga que lidiar con el aspecto físico del procedimiento.
Si no sabe qué decir o hacer, haga preguntas. Algunas buenas preguntas son las siguientes:
¿Te gustaría que yo esté allí?
¿Cómo puedo ayudar?
¿Qué estás sintiendo?
¿Hay algo que te preocupe?
¿Hay algo que quieras saber sobre cómo me siento con esto?

Si tiene una conversación, pero no aún está de acuerdo con la elección de su novia y quiere hablar sobre ello más adelante, considere proponer que programen una cita con Avail NYC como pareja. En semejanza con la terapia de pareja, nuestros asesores capacitados pueden ayudarlos a comunicarse mejor antes del procedimiento, de manera que estén de acuerdo en el momento del procedimiento y puedan acercarse en lugar de alejarse. En Avail NYC, queremos verlos florecer como personas y como pareja independientemente de la decisión final, y estamos aquí para facilitarles esas difíciles pero sanas conversaciones en un espacio seguro.

Esté presente antes y después del aborto

Esté físicamente presente con su novia antes, durante y después del procedimiento. Su presencia es importante para ella, aunque no se lo diga con palabras. La mejor manera de darle apoyo es simplemente estar ahí para ella.

Encuentre apoyo para los dos

Lo más importante es que reconozca que, aunque usted y su novia estén seguros de que esto es lo que quieren, un aborto es una experiencia monumental que, en general, las personas recuerdan por un largo tiempo después de que suceda. Quizás no sepa de antemano cómo usted y su novia reaccionarán ante esto.

Además, aunque usted no sea la persona que esté atravesando físicamente el procedimiento, sus emociones, preocupaciones y valores siguen siendo importantes. Lo que sea que esté sintiendo, o si no está sintiendo nada en absoluto, tiene validez. Por ejemplo, después del aborto, puede sentir tanto dolor como alivio , que es normal.

Dado que el aborto puede ser un evento tan significativo y sus reacciones ante él también importan, considere encontrar a alguien con quien procesar el embarazo y prepararse para el aborto. La clínica médica se centra en el aspecto físico de la terminación, no en el aspecto emocional, pero es igual de importante. Si no tiene a nadie con quien procesar esto, puede programar una cita gratis y confidencial con un asesor hombre en Avail NYC . Nuestros asesores experimentados pueden equiparlo con las herramientas y los recursos prácticos necesarios para darle apoyo a su novia y dárselo a usted mismo.

Por último, anime a su novia a buscar un apoyo similar. Es posible que ella esté lidiando con emociones complicadas, se sienta nerviosa por el procedimiento o la recuperación, o termine queriendo apoyo emocional después del aborto. Tal como usted, es importante que ella tenga a alguien con quien sea seguro hablar sobre esta gran decisión. Puede proponerle que acuda a una asesora mujer en Avail NYC , enfatizando que quiere lo mejor para ella. Avail tiene asesoras mujeres experimentadas y compasivas que pueden guiarla a través de sus valores para asegurarle que está tomando la decisión más acertada para su futuro. Si su novia tiene algún sentimiento sin resolver después del procedimiento, Avail NYC también ofrece recursos gratis y de acompañamiento para la recuperación posterior al aborto.

El propósito de Avail NYC es empoderarlos a usted y su novia con el fin de que tomen la decisión más informada y sanen después de su aborto, si es que lo necesitan.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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¿Mal momento para estar embarazada? Estas son las opciones.

Thu, 04 Aug 2022 15:30:01 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Los embarazos no planeados nunca son fáciles, pero desafortunadamente son frecuentes en los Estados Unidos. De hecho, se calcula que un 46%, o 2.6 millones , de embarazos al año no son deseados.

A pesar de la frecuencia con la que se producen los embarazos no deseados, manejar las secuelas puede ser un reto. Mientras que algunas mujeres saben exactamente lo que quieren hacer desde el momento en que aparece la segunda línea en la prueba, otras necesitan un poco de ayuda para considerar las opciones. Cuando necesites un recurso seguro y confidencial que te ayude a tomar una decisión saludable, Avail NYC está siempre aquí para ti.

Opciones para embarazos no planeados

Cuando te enfrentas a un embarazo no planeado, tienes tres opciones que considerar: la maternidad, la adopción o el aborto.

Maternidad

La maternidad es una experiencia gratificante para millones de mujeres en todo el país, y la opción más frecuente después de un embarazo no deseado . La crianza de los hijos no es fácil, ni siquiera cuando estás preparada para empezar una familia, pero Avail NYC puede ofrecerte la ayuda que necesitas, conectándote con el acceso a los recursos locales que pueden ayudarte con el apoyo emocional y financiero.

Adopción

Para las mujeres que no quieren interrumpir el embarazo pero no están totalmente preparadas para aceptar la maternidad, la adopción puede ser lo mejor de ambos mundos. En este caso, una agencia de adopción coordinará un plan de adopción para ayudar a colocar a tu hijo con una familia calificada. Hay dos tipos principales de adopciones: las cerradas y las abiertas. En una adopción cerrada, los padres biológicos y los adoptivos no comparten información de identificación ni tienen contacto entre sí. En una adopción abierta, los padres biológicos y los adoptivos comparten información libremente, se comunican entre sí y pueden programar visitas periódicas entre la familia adoptiva y la madre biológica. Aproximadamente 135,000 niños son adoptados en Estados Unidos cada año.

Aborto

El aborto es la interrupción intencionada de un embarazo, por medio de la medicina o de un procedimiento quirúrgico. En el estado de Nueva York, el aborto es legal hasta las 24 semanas de embarazo . Algunas mujeres optan por el aborto si sienten que no cuentan con el apoyo de su familia y amigos, o si temen que sea un momento inoportuno para tener un hijo. Evidentemente, el aborto es una decisión importante y puede provocar sentimientos encontrados en muchas mujeres. Si tienes emociones no resueltas después de un aborto pasado, un asesores de clientes de Avail de apoyo pueden ayudarte a procesar y planificar el futuro.

Asistencia compasiva y personalizada

Tomar la decisión correcta para el futuro y el cuerpo es un proceso profundamente personal. La elección de tener un hijo, iniciar un plan de adopción o interrumpir un embarazo tiene ventajas y desventajas, y solo tú puedes decidir en última instancia el mejor camino que debes seguir. Si quieres que te ayuden en el proceso de toma de decisiones o simplemente quieres hablar con alguien durante este difícil momento, Avail NYC puede darte apoyo y guía . Nuestros consejeros de clientes altamente capacitados pueden hablar sobre todas las opciones contigo en un entorno cómodo, dándote consejos, educación y conexiones con otros recursos del área si es necesario. Cuando programes una cita, solo encontrarás amabilidad y compasión mientras nuestro equipo trabaja contigo para garantizar de que llegas a la mejor conclusión posible.

Enfrentarse a un embarazo no planeado puede dejarte confundida, frustrada, ansiosa o asustada, pero Avail NYC está aquí para ti. Comunícate con nosotros hoy mismo para obtener más información sobre lo que nuestro equipo puede hacer, desde pruebas de embarazo de calidad de laboratorio hasta clases y talleres para ayudarte a tener éxito como padre/madre.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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Embarazo no planeado: Quedar embarazada al principio de la relación

Fri, 15 Jul 2022 15:30:01 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Un embarazo no planeado es por sí mismo difícil de enfrentar. Quedar embarazada al principio de una relación agrega otra dimensión complicada. Es posible que aún no se conozcan tan bien y no puedas predecir cuál será la reacción de tu pareja ante la noticia. ¿Se quedará y te apoyará o se alejará?

Puede que estés locamente enamorada. Tal vez solo estás “enamorada”. Si está dispuesto a quedarse, ¿quieres que lo haga? ¿Y si quiere casarse? La incertidumbre puede ser difícil de manejar, pero en Avail NYC estamos para apoyarte durante este momento complicado.

Cuando te enfrentas a un embarazo no planeado, puede que no te sientas feliz y emocionada, al menos no al principio. Es posible que el miedo y la confusión sean más bien tu mejor opción en este momento. O tal vez te adaptes rápidamente y te pongas manos a la obra, te des cuenta de las cosas y estés preparada para tomar algunas decisiones.

No hay una manera “correcta” de sentir sobre un embarazo no planeado, como tampoco hay una manera “incorrecta”. Cualquiera que sea la manera de sentirte, es la correcta para ti.

Lo que sabemos

No estás sola. En 2011, casi la mitad (el 46% o 2.6 millones) de los 5.6 millones de embarazos que se producen cada año en Estados Unidos fueron no deseados, según el Instituto Guttmacher . Eso son 2.6 millones de mujeres como tú, cada año.

Tu vida no terminó. Con 2.6 millones de mujeres que cada año tienen un embarazo inesperado, es razonable esperar que la gente esté más acostumbrada a los embarazos accidentales que en el pasado, y no hay razón para sentirse avergonzada. La única opinión que importa es la tuya y la de tu pareja. Hay muchas parejas jóvenes que no solo son padres, sino que tienen carreras exitosas, mantienen relaciones sólidas y disfrutan de vidas plenas y gratificantes.

Tienes opciones

Un embarazo no planeado no es el fin del mundo, tienes opciones. Puedes elegir la adopción, el aborto o la crianza de los hijos. En Avail NYC, estamos comprometidos con dar información precisa e imparcial para que puedas tomar la mejor decisión posible para TI. Responderemos a todas las preguntas y te apoyaremos durante todo el proceso de toma de decisiones y después.

Ven a visitarnos

Ven a visitarnos en el corazón de la ciudad de Nueva York. Podemos hacerte una prueba de embarazo gratis y, si se confirma que estás embarazada, podemos remitirte a una ecografía gratis para determinar si el embarazo es viable .

Una vez que esto se haya completado, te mostraremos las herramientas de toma de decisiones que te ayudarán a considerar la situación, los valores y los objetivos mientras decides qué camino es el mejor para ti. Nuestros atentos consejeros estarán a tu lado en cada paso del camino para escucharte y ayudarte a procesar.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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Información sobre la recuperación del aborto: ¿Qué espera?

Fri, 08 Jul 2022 13:34:09 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

La recuperación del aborto no es algo sobre lo que siempre se habla abiertamente. Sin embargo, la necesidad de información es real. ¿Cuánto tiempo se tarda en recuperarse físicamente? ¿Qué hay sobre la recuperación emocional, cómo es?

Clasificar toda la información disponible puede ser un reto, en especial, si descubriste recientemente que estás embarazada y estás tratando de decidir qué camino es el mejor. Si tú o tu pareja están considerando el aborto como una opción, es mejor estar preparada para todo el proceso, desde el principio hasta el final, y después.

Recuperación física

Mientras te recuperas en los primeros días, los expertos aconsejan beber mucho líquido, descansar, tomar vitaminas y antibióticos con receta, comer de manera saludable, dormir mucho y evitar el ejercicio aeróbico durante dos semanas. También sugieren no levantar nada que pese más de quince libras, y no tener relaciones sexuales ni usar tampones ni nada por vía vaginal durante dos o cuatro semanas.

Uno de los efectos más evidentes después de un aborto es el sangrado, que puede durar de una a dos semanas, incluyendo con frecuencia coágulos de sangre, calambres o hinchazón. Si el sangrado empapa dos o más compresas por hora, comunícate con el médico inmediatamente.

Después de un aborto, el cuerpo trabajará para volver a su ciclo normal, y eso ocurre más rápido de lo que podrías esperar. Es probable que la ovulación se produzca en las dos o tres semanas siguientes al procedimiento de aborto. Lo que significa que es posible que quieras revisar las opciones anticonceptivas.

Debes esperar que el primer ciclo menstrual ocurra entre cuatro y ocho semanas después de un procedimiento de aborto y es posible que sea algo anormal al principio.

Recuperación emocional

La recuperación emocional de un aborto es diferente para cada persona. Algunas mujeres y hombres sienten alivio, mientras que otros dicen sentirse arrepentidos o deprimidos.

Estas emociones contradictorias son frecuentes, y no estás sola. Los profesionales médicos de Mt. Sinaí de Nueva York dicen: “Es normal sentirse triste o deprimido después de este procedimiento. Busca ayuda del proveedor de atención médica o de un consejero si estos sentimientos no desaparecen. Un familiar o un amigo también puede darte consuelo”.

No es raro que las mujeres digan que el procedimiento les afectó más de lo que esperaban. Las que son coaccionadas, forzadas o persuadidas a abortar pueden tener más dificultades que las que toman la decisión libremente. Si tienes depresión, ansiedad o pensamientos suicidas, comunícate con la Línea Nacional de Prevención del Suicidio al 1-800-273-8255.

Pide ayuda antes de decidirte por el aborto

Cuando te enfrentas a un embarazo inesperado, es importante encontrar una persona de confianza que te acompañe, responda a las preguntas y te escuche mientras evalúas las opciones según las circunstancias individuales.

En Avail NYC, nuestros consejeros del cliente te ayudarán, ya sea que aún estás decidiendo el camino o que necesitas apoyo emocional después de haber abortado. Estamos aquí para darte los servicios, el espacio y el apoyo que necesitas sin juzgarte.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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¿Cómo hacerle frente al dolor después de un aborto?

Fri, 01 Jul 2022 15:15:00 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

La mayoría de las personas que abortaron dicen que tomaron la decisión muy rápidamente, a veces en cuestión de unas pocas horas o días. Otras tardan semanas en considerar todas sus opciones. Independientemente del plazo, una vez tomada la decisión es normal que la gente intente dejar de lado las emociones, diciéndose a sí misma que todo acabará pronto y centrándose en superar el procedimiento. Por desgracia, muchas personas no se dan cuenta de que a menudo surgen nuevas oleadas de sentimientos después de la intervención, especialmente si no se trataron las emociones durante el proceso.

Algunos de estos nuevos sentimientos que surgen pueden parecer contradictorios, como el alivio y la tristeza. Una de esas emociones puede ser el duelo. Puedes sentirlo aunque no te arrepientas en absoluto de la decisión. Sigue leyendo para conocer las respuestas emocionales y relacionales más frecuentes después de los procedimientos de aborto.

Respuesta emocional al aborto

Después de un aborto, podrías tener una ola de diversas emociones. Estas emociones a veces parecen ira o simplemente una profunda tristeza sin motivo aparente.

Talvez en el pasado podías hacer reír a todo el mundo y pasarla bien. Sin embargo, ahora tus amigos se dan cuenta y comentan que no pareces ser tú misma y que pareces estar más seria. A veces, el duelo parece incluso que perdiste la motivación para salir de la cama. La buena noticia es que no estás sola en estos sentimientos.

Muchas mujeres en un estudio de 2021 reportaron emociones significativas después de una pérdida de embarazo , y para muchas de ellas, estas emociones surgieron después de un año o más. Si tienes diferentes emociones inmediatamente después del aborto, o si están surgiendo meses o años después, no estás sola. Sin embargo, la buena noticia es que puedes encontrar la curación y la resiliencia necesarias para seguir adelante y volver a donde estabas. Solo será necesario un poco de trabajo primero para reconocer que estás en duelo.

Duelo después de la relación

Muchos suponemos que el duelo solo se produce cuando se pierde a alguien a quien se conocía profundamente y con quien se pasaba mucho tiempo. Sin embargo, en el caso de la pérdida de un embarazo, esto no es así.

En este escenario, no conociste realmente a nadie ni nada, pero también hay otro nivel de duelo que afecta a las jóvenes más que a la mayoría: el duelo por lo que podría ser o el "qué habría pasado". El duelo por lo que podría ser, por lo que esperas en el futuro, o incluso por la falta de apoyo que quisieras tener, es un sentimiento frecuente y completamente válido.

Por ejemplo, muchas personas solteras, aparte de un embarazo inesperado o un aborto, con frecuencia dicen que después de una ruptura tienen un duelo severo y profundo, aunque no extrañen a la persona. ¿A qué se debe esto? Estás afligida por la pérdida de lo que pudo ser: los planes que tenías en mente; los plazos con los que contabas para que el futuro ocurriera en cierto momento, pero que no sucedieron; o las cosas no salieron como querías.

Todo lo que se menciona arriba son indicaciones presentes y válidas de duelo.

¿Qué puedes hacer para empezar a reconocer el duelo?

Reconoce tus emociones y compártelas con alguien cercano. Si no tienes una persona así, sobre todo porque el aborto está tan estigmatizado, necesitas un lugar seguro o un grupo de apoyo. Por eso existe Avail, para dar ese lugar seguro, porque muchas de nosotras pasamos por ello, y no queremos que pases por esto sola. Nuestros expertos consejeros pueden hablar contigo en sesiones individuales gratis y confidenciales, ofreciéndote escuchar con compasión y herramientas prácticas para la salud emocional. También pueden comunicarte con los grupos Avail's Hope, donde otras mujeres que están en la misma situación pueden procesar sus experiencias juntas.

Cambios en la relación después de un aborto

No todas las relaciones románticas son iguales después de un aborto. Muchas veces puede haber más distancia en la relación. Si las parejas no están de acuerdo sobre la decisión o no se comunican bien, puede llevar a una ruptura.

Si esa es tu relación, o si también estás de duelo por una ruptura, Avail también da apoyo después del aborto para parejas y citas individuales para hombres que están de duelo por el aborto de la pareja por su cuenta. No importa si todavía están juntos como pareja o si ya no tienen una relación, nuestros consejeros de clientes masculinos aportan la perspectiva única de lo que los hombres necesitan en este proceso también.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

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When is it Safe to Get Pregnant After an Abortion?

mathew.sides@availnyc.org (Mathew Sides) — Mon, 18 Apr 2022 15:58:47 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

The decision to have an abortion is a complicated one. Often women wonder how making that choice will affect their ability to have children in the future.

Having an abortion doesn’t mean ending your chances of having a child. In most cases, the procedure doesn’t affect your fertility . You should still be able to conceive, have a healthy pregnancy, and give birth safely.

There is also a question of how soon you might get pregnant again after your procedure. Do you need to use contraception right away to avoid another pregnancy?

There is a lot of misinformation about abortions, so having the facts matters. It is important to understand your fertility, whether you are trying to get pregnant or want to prevent it. When is it safe to get pregnant after abortion?

How Soon Can You Get Pregnant After an Abortion?

No two women’s bodies work the same way, but the answer is soon for most women. Having an abortion restarts your periods and menstrual cycle.

For most women, ovulation, happens on day 14 of their 28-day menstrual cycle . This indicates you'll most likely ovulate within a few weeks of having an abortion.

In other words, even if you haven't had a period yet, it's possible to become pregnant again if you have unprotected sex within a few weeks after the procedure.

Of course, there are a variety of factors that can change things. For example, not every woman has a 28-day cycle. Some women may ovulate within a few days after the procedure. Also, how far you were into your pregnancy may be a determining factor. Pregnancy hormones might remain in your system for several weeks even though you are not pregnant anymore. This will delay ovulation and menstruation.

How Long Should a Woman Wait After an Abortion?

Two critical questions tend to come up for women after an abortion:

How long to wait before having sex
How long to wait before getting pregnant again

The doctor and staff will talk to you about when you can have sex again after your procedure. For most women, that answer is one to two weeks. However, you will need to wait at least one week to reduce your risk of infection.

The decision to get pregnant again is also something to discuss with your doctor. There are many things to consider before making this choice beyond just when your body is physically able to create a baby.

You will want to make sure you are emotionally ready for this significant life change. Also, if there were complications with a previous pregnancy or with your abortion, then that may affect this option.

Potential complications with a surgical abortion include:

Infection
Cervical tear
Perforation of the uterus
Retained tissue
Allergic reaction

Often, there isn’t a reason to wait if the time is right for you beyond the week or two you hold off from having sex. Once your doctor gives you the okay and you feel mentally ready, you can start trying to get pregnant.

When Do You Need to Use Contraception After an Abortion?

Some women consider a reversible but long-term contraception such as an intrauterine device (IUD) or a hormone implant after an abortion. The “Morning After” pill is something you would take if you should happen to have unprotected sex and want to avoid pregnancy. If you want to learn more about emergency contraception and what options are available to you, talk with an unbiased advocate at Avail to get the information you need in a safe space.

Is There a Chance You Won’t Be Able to Get Pregnant After an Abortion?

There are going to be risk factors with any surgical or medical procedure. But, in general, there is little to support the idea that abortion affects future fertility . Many women become mothers even if they have the procedure done at some point in their lives.

The exact risk factors will likely depend on the type of procedure. With a medical abortion, you take a pill early in your pregnancy. There is little evidence to support that this process will limit your ability to get pregnant when you are ready.

Surgical abortions require the removal of the fetus. Therefore, there are rare risks associated with this form of abortion. For example, you may develop an infection that damages the uterus. You might also have some scarring that impacts your ability to carry a baby, especially if you have multiple abortions.

The key is to do everything possible to avoid complications. Abortion must be conducted in a safe and sterile atmosphere. Any abortion method that is not performed by a doctor is considered unsafe and can result in acute difficulties and long-term reproductive and health issues.

Also, follow all recommendations provided by the clinic to avoid potential problems like holding off from having sex for a week or so.

When to See A Doctor

If you decide you want to get pregnant again, it can’t hurt to get a check-up to make sure you are in the best possible shape.

After an abortion, you should find a trusted doctor for an abortion wellness checkup. If you’re experiencing any heavy bleeding, discomfort, unusual vaginal discharge, or develop a fever several days after the procedure, this may be an indication of an infection. It’s vital to schedule an appointment as soon as possible to receive treatment since infections may cause infertility complications in the future.

If you want someone to talk to about your abortion experience, make an appointment with one of our caring client advocates at Avail NYC . We have the resources and tools to help you, and offer an after-abortion support group .

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

My Girlfriend Has An Abortion Scheduled: What Do I Do?

Wed, 01 Dec 2021 17:00:06 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

If your girlfriend has an abortion scheduled, your most pressing thought might be: what do I do? Neither you or your partner may know what to expect. You want to do your part to support her well, but what should that look like?

Read below to prepare yourself and your girlfriend for the procedure. If you need someone to talk to before or after the abortion, Avail NYC is here.

Things to Know Before An Abortion

Before you can support your girlfriend, you need to know the necessary information about abortion. Read up on what to expect during and an after abortion so you can understand what your girlfriend will be going through and encourage her to recover safely. There will be physical and emotional components to your girlfriend’s recovery , but a lot of it will depend on what kind of abortion she gets.

Two Types of Abortions

The first kind of abortion is non-surgical or medical, where your girlfriend will receive two sets of pills from her doctor that will induce termination. She may take the first at the doctor’s office and the second at home, and the process takes a few days to be completed. New York State law allows this option up to 10 weeks of pregnancy.

The second kind of abortion is surgical or procedural. This procedure is available up to 24 weeks of pregnancy, or after 24 weeks in certain scenarios in New York. Depending on how far along your girlfriend is, the procedure will look different.

Even if your girlfriend says that you don’t need to join her at the surgical appointment, most women report they felt deeply alone when no one went to the procedure with them. It can be a very emotional experience, and having you present, even in the waiting room can bring comfort.

Plan What to Say

One key thing you can do in this situation is initiate conversations with your girlfriend. It’s important to keep open communication while also being patient with what she needs during this physically and emotionally demanding time. You can’t control how she responds, but you can control what you say.

Here are some important conversations you can have:

Keep the conversation serious. It’s going to be uncomfortable, but resist the urge to make a joke or try to cheer her up. She’ll feel more support knowing you’re willing to be vulnerable or just listen to any mixed feelings she is having.
Be honest about your own emotions while affirming your support of her. She may feel overwhelmed and conflicted, and even if she doesn’t say it out loud, she wants to know what you think. It can strengthen your relationship and prevent future conflict to tell her honestly how you are processing the situation. Always reassure her that you are committed to working through it with her and that you want to hear her emotions without judgment too.
Acknowledge that you recognize and empathize with the fact that she has to handle the physical aspect of the procedure.
If you’re not sure what to say or do, ask questions. Some good questions are:
Would you like me to be there?
How can I help?
What are you feeling?
Do you have anything you’re worried about?
Is there anything you want to know about how I feel about this?

If you have a conversation but still disagree with her choice and want to talk about it further, consider suggesting scheduling an appointment with Avail NYC as a couple. Similar to couples therapy, our trained advocates can help you communicate better before the procedure so you're on the same page going into the procedure and can grow closer together rather than begin to grow apart. At Avail NYC, we want to help you flourish as individuals and as a couple no matter what the final decision, and we’re here to facilitate those hard but healthy conversations in a safe space.

Be Present Before & After the Abortion

Be physically present with your girlfriend before, during, and after the procedure. Your presence matters to her, even if she doesn’t articulate that to you. The best way to support is to simply be there for her.

Find Support for Both of You

Most importantly, recognize that even if you and your girlfriend are sure this is what you want, an abortion is a monumental experience that people often remember for a long time afterward. You may not know beforehand how you or your girlfriend will respond to it.

Not only that, although you’re not the one physically undergoing the procedure, your emotions, concerns, and values are still important. Whatever you're feeling--or if you aren't feeling anything at all--is valid. For example, afterward, you may feel both grief and relief , and that’s normal.

Because abortion can be such a significant event and because your reactions to it matter too, consider finding someone to process the pregnancy and prepare for the abortion with. The medical clinic is focused on the physical aspect of termination, not the emotional aspect, but it’s just as important. If you don’t have someone in your life to process this with, you can schedule a free, confidential appointment with a male advocate at Avail NYC . Our experienced advocates can equip you with the tools and practical resources you need to support yourself and your girlfriend.

Lastly, encourage your girlfriend to seek similar support. She may be dealing with complicated emotions, feel nervous for the procedure or the recovery, or end up wanting emotional support afterward. Just like you, it’s important that she has someone safe to talk to about this important decision. You can suggest that she reach out to a female advocate at Avail NYC , emphasizing that you want what’s best for her. Avail has experienced, compassionate female advocates who can walk her through her values to ensure that she is making the most empowered choice for her future. If she has any unresolved feelings after the procedure, Avail NYC also offers free, compassionate resources for post-abortion recovery .

Avail NYC exists to empower both you and your girlfriend to make the most informed choice and heal after your abortion, if you need it.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Relationship After Abortion: What If My Partner Doesn’t Want to Talk and I Do?

Thu, 18 Nov 2021 15:15:02 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Abortion is a significant event for both the woman and the man in a relationship, and it impacts every person differently. When you begin to navigate life and your relationship after an abortion, you may find that tension arises because either you or your partner want to talk about it and the other doesn't. Regardless of which camp you fall into, read on for some tips for approaching both situations, and know that Avail NYC offers free relationship and post-abortion services if you want them.

Emotions Can Be Messy

First, it's important to note that you can feel relief and grief , and many other different emotions, all at once. One or both of you may be processing contradictory emotions, and that can lead to stress in your relationship, especially if you or your partner don’t know how to articulate these complex feelings.

Not only are emotions tricky to process and express, even on the best of days, but communication difficulties often arise because an abortion is an inherently unequal experience. As Erika Krull, a licensed mental health practitioner, explains , “only one person can have the procedure, which creates an uneven experience for a couple.” This understandably can create tension in a relationship, but it is possible to navigate healthy communication during this time.

When Your Partner Is the One Who Doesn’t Want to Talk About the Abortion

If you want to talk about the abortion and your partner doesn't, it's understandable you may feel upset. You want to feel supported and unified after this decision. Talking things through in a respectful manner is an important part of healthy relationships.

At the same time, remember that everyone processes things differently and has different communication styles. Often when someone has difficulty tackling hard conversations, they may inadvertently make light of the situation with jokes or avoid talking about it, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t have feelings. It might actually mean they believe they’re helping you by keeping those feelings hidden.

Consider giving your partner some space and time before bringing up a conversation--even if it takes a bit longer than you’d prefer. Then see if you can agree on a time when you will sit down to honestly talk about it together. That way you can both prepare for the conversation. You don't need to worry about it coming up at the time when one of you isn’t ready.

When you finally have the conversation, here are some tips to helping your partner open up and be willing to talk:

Reassure your partner that you care about their perspective and the relationship.
Practice reflective listening. Although you may feel emotions rising in response to what your partner says, try to clarify what they are thinking and feeling before you react. For example, say things like, “I hear you saying… Is this accurate?” and “When you say…, do you mean...?”
Instead of accusing, express your emotions. Tell your partner how you’re feeling and how their words are making you feel without assuming motives. Start by assuming good about your partner, and remind yourself throughout the conversation that they may be dealing with confusing emotions too and may struggle to say them.

Regardless of how the conversation goes, Avail NYC is here with after-abortion support group if you want help processing your emotions. As important as it is to talk to your partner, there are aspects of having an abortion that might be easier to process with others who have had similar experiences. Avail NYC offers support groups for women, separately in its After Abortion program , and you can join in person or online.

When You’re the One Who Doesn’t Want to Talk About the Abortion

If you are the one that doesn’t want to talk about the abortion, but your partner does, your feelings are valid. Whether your abortion experience was easy or difficult, you may not want to bring it up. But it impacts your partner's life too, and talking about it can be good for your relationship. Support goes both ways--you should never feel forced to talk about or do something you don't want to, but having a conversation about an important decision that impacts both of you is a way to show love and care for your relationship.

Here are some things to keep in mind about the conversation that may make it feel more approachable:

Agree on a time to have it so that you can prepare and it won't catch you by surprise at a bad moment.
Remember that it doesn't have to be a long conversation, and you can set boundaries at the beginning about how long you want to talk.
At the end, you can establish whether you want to follow up with the conversation and if so, when.
Beforehand, consider journaling your thoughts about the experience. Not only will journaling help you personally process things, but it can also help clarify what you want to say and how to say it. You can even write out some notes for yourself.
If someone else in your life knows about the abortion, consider practicing with them how you want to talk about it.
Be clear about your emotions, especially at the beginning. For example, “This conversation makes me feel scared because…” or “This conversation is hard for me. I’m not sure why, and that makes me feel…”

Most importantly, if you are scared to have a conversation with your partner because you feel unsafe, reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline : 1.800.799.SAFE (7233).

Free Relationship Courses and Post-Abortion Support Groups

Respecting each other's emotional needs and communication desires at this time is crucial. This can be hard to do for many reasons, which is why Avail NYC offers free relationship coaching for men and women as well as post-abortion support groups so you can process your emotions in a safe space.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

¿Cuántos días después de la concepción puedo hacerme una prueba de embarazo?

Tue, 02 Nov 2021 18:34:50 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Si crees que podrías estar embarazada, conoces la ansiedad de esperar hasta estar segura. Es particularmente difícil cuando un posible embarazo no se planifica. Te cuestionas cada síntoma, preguntándote si se debe al embarazo o a las hormonas premenstruales. Y te preguntas qué tan pronto puedes hacerte una prueba de embarazo para no tener que esperar más por la respuesta.

En Avail NYC , podemos apoyarte durante los pasos siguientes en un entorno afectuoso que alivie este momento estresante.

Pruebas de embarazo caseras

Después de que un óvulo fertilizado se implanta en la pared uterina, el cuerpo de la mujer comienza a producir una hormona del embarazo llamada gonadotropina coriónica humana (hCG). Una prueba de embarazo casera detecta la hormona hCG en la orina de una mujer.

A veces, puedes hacerte una prueba de embarazo en casa y los resultados son confusos. Sientes como que si tu mente te estuviera jugando una mala pasada. ¿Es esa una línea tenue? O ¿estás imaginando una línea tenue? Podrías cuestionar la confiabilidad de la prueba.

Hay afirmaciones de que las pruebas de embarazo caseras tienen una precisión del 99%, pero es importante saber que el porcentaje de precisión no es tan alto cuando la prueba se hace justo en el momento del retraso de un período.

Quizás te estés preguntando qué tan pronto puedes hacerte una prueba de embarazo en casa y aun así obtener un resultado preciso.

¿Cuántos días después de la concepción puedo hacerme una prueba de embarazo?

La concepción ocurre en el momento en que se fertiliza un óvulo. El óvulo fertilizado tarda de cuatro a cinco días en viajar a través de las trompas de Falopio hasta el útero. Por lo tanto, la implantación en el revestimiento del útero ocurre cuatro o cinco días después de la concepción o de siete a diez días después de la ovulación.

Tan pronto como el óvulo fertilizado se implanta en la pared uterina, se produce la hormona del embarazo hCG. Esto significa que una prueba de embarazo de alta calidad podría detectar un embarazo en solo cinco días después de la concepción.

Sin embargo, según Mayo Clinic , es aconsejable hacerse una prueba de embarazo después del primer día del retraso de tu período para reducir las posibilidades de obtener un resultado falso negativo.

Resultados falsos de la prueba de embarazo

Los resultados falsos negativos son mucho más frecuentes que los resultados falsos positivos. Un resultado falso negativo generalmente se da porque la prueba de embarazo se tomó demasiado pronto para detectar el embarazo. Si obtienes un resultado negativo, pero aún crees que podrías estar embarazada, hazte otra prueba en unos días.

Los resultados falsos negativos también se pueden dar por otras razones, como que la orina esté demasiado diluida o no seguir las instrucciones con precisión. Un resultado falso negativo también puede deberse a un embarazo ectópico , una condición grave que necesita tratamiento médico inmediato.

Preguntas frecuentes sobre pruebas de embarazo inesperado

Pruebas de embarazo en Midtown Manhattan y East Harlem

Las citas para una prueba de embarazo autoadministrable sin costo están disponibles en Avail NYC . Puede hacer clic en el botón a continuación para hacer una cita en nuestra ubicación de Midtown Manhattan o East Harlem.

Nuestro personal responderá tus preguntas con información imparcial y precisa. Te damos las herramientas y caminamos contigo cada paso del camino para que puedas examinar tus opciones y tomar una decisión informada sobre tu embarazo no planeado.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Otras publicaciones relevantes

¿Qué tan pronto después de tener relaciones sexuales puedes quedar embarazada? Lo que deberías saber

Tue, 02 Nov 2021 18:34:48 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Una idea equivocada frecuente sobre el embarazo es que ocurre inmediatamente después de tener relaciones sexuales. En realidad, hay varios factores que determinan si puedes concebir y cuándo. Si tuviste relaciones sexuales sin protección y te preguntas si podrías estar embarazada, el primer paso es hacer una prueba de embarazo.

Avail NYC entrega pruebas de embarazo gratuitas en Midtown Manhattan y East Harlem. Sigue leyendo para obtener más información sobre la concepción y el embarazo.

Ovulación

La ovulación es el proceso por el que el óvulo se mueve desde los ovarios hacia una de las trompas de Falopio para la fertilización. Generalmente, esto ocurre aproximadamente dos semanas después del último período de una mujer. Saber cuándo estás ovulando puede ayudar a determinar tus probabilidades de quedar embarazada. Sin embargo, el momento de la ovulación varía para cada mujer, y puede ocurrir tan pronto como a los once días o tan tarde como a los veintiún días. La probabilidad más alta de embarazo ocurre realmente cuando tienes relaciones sexuales unos días antes y el mismo día de la ovulación.

Fertilización

Durante la ovulación, un óvulo debe fertilizarse dentro de las doce a veinticuatro horas posteriores a su liberación del ovario para que pueda dar lugar a la concepción . Cuando un espermatozoide se reúne con el óvulo, la superficie del óvulo cambiará para que no puedan entrar otros espermatozoides. Esto es lo que determina la composición genética y el sexo del bebé. Aunque el embarazo puede parecer probable después de tener relaciones sexuales sin protección, solo alrededor de cien de los doscientos cincuenta millones de espermatozoides que se liberan logran llegar cerca del óvulo. Los espermatozoides pueden llegar al óvulo en treinta minutos, y también pueden vivir de tres a cinco días una vez están dentro del cuerpo de una mujer.

Implantación

Una vez que el espermatozoide se reúne con el óvulo, se produce la implantación. El óvulo fertilizado comienza a dividirse y crecer, y viaja a través de la trompa de Falopio para llegar al útero. Luego, se adherirá al revestimiento del útero, y permanecerá allí hasta que nazca el bebé. Una vez implantado, el óvulo en desarrollo comenzará a secretar hCG. Esta es la hormona que detectará una prueba de embarazo, y dará como resultado una lectura positiva si estás embarazada. Es por eso por lo que es mejor esperar al menos una semana después de tener relaciones sexuales sin protección para comprar una prueba de embarazo.

Cómo puede ayudar Avail NYC

Enfrentar un embarazo no planeado puede ser alarmante. Si quieres confirmar si estás embarazada o no, comunícate con Avail NYC hoy. Entregamos pruebas de embarazo gratuitas y autoadministrables; y, si lo deseas, podemos remitirte al centro médico externo para una cita obstetra/ginecológica gratuita o de bajo costo. Damos apoyo práctico y prestamos muchos otros servicios, todos gratuitos, para mujeres y parejas en la ciudad de Nueva York.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Otras publicaciones relevantes

¿Cómo saber si las náuseas son una señal de embarazo o sólo un virus estomacal?

Tue, 02 Nov 2021 18:34:46 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Puede ser complicado saber si estás embarazada o si solo tienes un virus estomacal común y corriente. Aunque hay síntomas comunes a ambos, existen algunas señales que pueden decir que podrías estar embarazada. Si crees que podrías estar embarazada, la única forma de saberlo con certeza es haciendo una prueba de embarazo.

Avail NYC entrega pruebas de embarazo gratuitas y autoadministrables a mujeres que pueden estar enfrentando un embarazo no planeado.

Síntomas frecuentes que apuntan a una gastroenteritis viral

Si tienes sensaciones generales de náusea, fatiga y vómitos, es posible que tengas un virus estomacal. Algunos síntomas específicos que apuntan a una enfermedad y no a un embarazo pueden ser:

Diarrea
Fiebre
Cólicos estomacales
Dolores de estómago
Deshidratación

Otras posibles causas de las náuseas no relacionadas con el embarazo incluyen:

Intoxicación alimentaria
Cambio de medicamentos
Estrés intenso
Mareo por movimiento o problemas del oído interno
Migrañas

Si tus síntomas no desaparecen en unos días, hacer una prueba de embarazo puede descartar que sea un embarazo y que solamente se trate de un virus estomacal, como la gripe.

Síntomas frecuentes que apuntan a un embarazo

Aunque se relaciona al embarazo en la etapa temprana con el término náuseas matutinas , es posible que te sientas enferma periódicamente durante el día. Hay algunos síntomas que coinciden entre un virus estomacal y el embarazo, como vómitos, fatiga y náuseas. Pero hay otros indicadores que podrían apuntar más hacia el embarazo:

Salivación excesiva
Una mayor sensibilidad a los olores
Un ciclo menstrual retrasado
Antojos de comida inusuales
Mamas sensibles

Si llevas un control de tu ciclo mensualmente, un retraso en tu período podría ser un indicio de embarazo. Si tienes períodos irregulares, será más difícil determinar si tu período está retrasado o no.

Aunque es posible que puedas detectar los síntomas, no sabrás con certeza si estás embarazada hasta que puedas verificarlo. Avail NYC es un lugar seguro y confidencial para hacerse una prueba de embarazo en la ciudad de Nueva York.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Otras publicaciones relevantes

¿Cómo puedo calcular qué tan avanzado está mi embarazo?

Tue, 02 Nov 2021 18:34:43 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Saber exactamente qué tan avanzado está tu embarazo puede resultar confuso. Los síntomas del embarazo son diferentes para cada mujer, y son una guía poco confiable para determinar dónde estás dentro del período gestacional. Entonces, ¿cómo se determina exactamente la fecha de concepción o la fecha probable de parto?

¿Cuándo fue tu último período?

Saber la primera fecha de tu último período es clave. Esta es la fecha frecuentemente más utilizada para determinar la edad gestacional. Para la mayoría de las mujeres, esta fecha es aproximadamente dos semanas antes de que ocurra la ovulación y la concepción. La concepción suele ocurrir entre once y veintiún días después del primer día de tu último período.

La mayoría de las mujeres no conocen el día exacto de la ovulación; pero, generalmente, sabe cuándo comenzó su último período, por lo que esta es la forma más confiable de determinar qué tan avanzado está y cuándo llegará a término.

¿Cómo calculo mi fecha de parto?

Para tomar en cuenta las dos semanas anteriores a la concepción, los médicos toman el primer día de tu último período menstrual (UPM) y agregan 280 días (o cuarenta semanas) para determinar la fecha de parto .

A partir de ahí, también puedes determinar qué tan avanzado está el embarazo contando cuántas semanas han pasado desde el primer día de tu último período. Por ejemplo, si tu último período comenzó el 1.º de agosto, el 26 de septiembre tendrías ocho semanas; el 31 de octubre, trece semanas; y tu fecha de parto sería el 8 de mayo. Este ejemplo se basa en un ciclo de 28 días. Si tu ciclo es más largo o corto, cambiará ligeramente.

Uso del ultrasonido para determinar o verificar la edad gestacional

Otra forma de determinar o verificar la edad gestacional es mediante una ecografía. Esto es especialmente útil para las mujeres que tienen períodos irregulares o que no pueden recordar el primer día de su último período.

La edad gestacional se puede medir con un ultrasonido a las cinco o seis semanas después de su último período menstrual. La medición de esta manera es más precisa durante el embarazo en etapa temprana, y es mejor hacerla entre la octava y la decimoctava semana. Las ecografías para verificar la edad gestacional son menos precisas después de este período de tiempo.

Las ecografías que se hacen durante las primeras doce semanas se consideran precisas durante un período de tres a cinco días, mientras que las que se hacen entre la semana doce y la veintidós son precisas en un período de diez días. Según UltrasoundCare.com , las que se hacen después de veintidós semanas no se pueden usar para determinar la edad gestacional.

Visítanos para obtener una prueba de embarazo autoadministrable gratuita

Si no estás segura de si estás embarazada o si te enfrentas un embarazo no planificado y te gustaría analizar tus opciones, ven a visitarnos a Avail NYC. Todos nuestros servicios son gratuitos , y somos un lugar seguro y confidencial para pensar en tus próximos pasos.

Damos a las mujeres una prueba de embarazo de orina autoadministrable y servicios médicos gratuitos a través de una remisións. Nuestros asesores también entregan una herramienta lineal para la toma de decisiones que puede ayudarte a explorar tus valores y metas en medio de tu situación.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Otras publicaciones relevantes

¿Cómo puedo apoyar a mi novia después de un aborto?

Tue, 02 Nov 2021 18:34:41 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Tomar una decisión sobre un embarazo no planeado no es fácil. Entendemos que tú y tu novia necesitaron un profundo examen de conciencia y recopilación de información para elegir el aborto entre una lista de opciones que pueden haber parecido abrumadoras.

Nos damos cuenta de que el proceso del aborto los afecta a ambos individualmente, y te felicitamos por querer saber qué puedes hacer para apoyar a tu novia o pareja en estos momentos. Tienes una oportunidad extraordinaria para practicar la empatía mientras ella atraviesa el proceso posaborto, y es el momento perfecto para mostrarle cuánto te preocupas por ella dándole apoyo práctico y emocional.

En esta publicación, analizaremos lo que podría sentir tu novia después de un aborto y qué puedes hacer para apoyarla.

Dar apoyo práctico

Ya sea que tu novia haya tenido un aborto con medicamentos o un aborto quirúrgico, fue y seguirá siendo un shock para su sistema a medida que su cuerpo se recupera. Los calambres, el sangrado y la fatiga pueden hacer que no se sienta bien físicamente. Puedes darle apoyo práctico de las siguientes maneras:

Pregúntale a menudo cómo se siente y si necesita algo:

Agua
Comida
Más almohadas
Almohadilla térmica
Analgésicos

Ofrécele hacer mandados.

Permanece con ella si quiere compañía.

Llévala a las citas de seguimiento.

Demuéstrale que estás preocupado haciendo algo especial por ella:

Cómprale sus flores favoritas
Cocínale su comida favorita (o llévala a comer si se siente con ganas)
Llévale sus libros o revistas favoritas
Mira con ella su película favorita
Dale un regalo único
Escríbele una carta animándola

Aprende sobre el proceso de recuperación posaborto , para que te involucres y sepas qué esperar.

Considera estos ejemplos para comunicarte con ella dándole apoyo:

“¿Quieres estar un rato a solas o te gustaría que me quedara contigo?”
“Estoy aquí para ti cuando tengas ganas de hablar”.
“Lamento que seas tú quien esté pasando físicamente por esto. ¿Qué puedo hacer para ayudar?”
“¿Qué estás sintiendo? Has pasado por mucho.”
“¿Quieres hablar?”

Dar apoyo emocional

Incluso si tu novia o pareja se sintió segura de que el aborto era la opción correcta, tener un aborto puede causar una amplia gama de emociones, desde alivio hasta arrepentimiento o tristeza. El grado de la emoción puede variar de un día a otro, y puede surgir inmediatamente después de un aborto o años después. La recuperación necesitará de tu apoyo emocional para que ninguno de los dos lo enfrente solo.

Una de las principales causas de las variadas respuestas emocionales después de un aborto es la caída repentina de hormonas. Los niveles de la hormona del embarazo, gonadotropina coriónica humana (hCG), están en su nivel más alto antes de las 17 semanas de embarazo. Cuando tu novia tuvo el aborto, esos niveles de hCG cayeron repentinamente, lo que también puede causar respuestas emocionales.

Síndrome posaborto

Aunque existe mucha discusión sobre los síntomas del síndrome posaborto (SPA) , se entiende que el aborto generalmente se asocia con circunstancias estresantes; y, por lo tanto, puede tener repercusiones psicológicas, según Psychology Today . Además, cualquier evento que cause trauma puede resultar en un trastorno por estrés postraumático (PTSD), y el aborto no es una excepción, continúa diciendo la publicación.

Algunas mujeres comentan haber tenido recuerdos negativos (a veces llamados "desencadenantes del trauma") de su experiencia de aborto. Los desencadenantes del trauma pueden ser imágenes, sonidos, olores o pensamientos que le recuerden el aborto a tu novia. Si los factores desencadenantes comienzan a interferir con su calidad de vida, es posible que quieras sugerirle orientación profesional o asistir juntos a un grupo de apoyo. Obtén más información sobre los servicios gratuitos que Avail NYC tiene disponibles para quienes se están recuperando de un aborto.

Tu novia puede sentirse confundida sobre lo que le está sucediendo a su cuerpo si comienza a tener una variedad de sentimientos positivos o negativos, particularmente si se identifica como una persona emocionalmente fuerte. Aprende a validar sus sentimientos. Validarlos no significa que estés de acuerdo con ellos; significa que la estás escuchando y reconociendo su vivencia. Dile que es normal que se sienta aliviada y triste al mismo tiempo. Y si una parte tuya tiene sentimientos negativos, compártelos con ella también. Asegúrale que ambos están juntos en esto.

Según la Asociación Americana del Embarazo , los sentimientos negativos frecuentes después de un aborto incluyen:

Enojo

El enojo es una emoción normal que tu novia puede sentir durante la recuperación de su aborto. Puede estar enojada consigo misma por tener que tomar una decisión sobre el aborto, con la comunidad médica, con su comunidad religiosa e incluso contigo. Asume la responsabilidad de tu participación en el embarazo. Dile que lamentas que sea ella la que haya tenido que sentir físicamente el aborto.

Culpa

Sentir culpa no significa que te arrepientes de tu decisión, sino que es una respuesta natural que uno puede sentir después de tomar una decisión muy difícil. La culpa puede provenir de que tu novia sienta que está llevando todo el peso de la decisión y sus consecuencias, o se preocupa de cómo otros en su vida podrían percibirla por tomar esta decisión. Independientemente de por qué se siente culpable, reconoce cómo se siente y dale ánimo.

Ansiedad

Un aborto es un evento importante y, a veces, las mujeres sienten ansiedad después. Tu novia puede expresar temor sobre su futuro o por volver a quedar embarazada. Puede tener dificultad para dormir y concentrarse. También puede tener "ataques de pánico" que incluyen falta de aire y palpitaciones. Si tu novia padece estos síntomas, anímala a que se comunique con un profesional de la salud mental.

Arrepentimiento

Podría sorprenderte que tu pareja exprese arrepentimiento después del aborto porque pensaste que ambos estaban de acuerdo en que estaban tomando la mejor decisión para su situación, pero el arrepentimiento también es una emoción frecuente que podría tener tu novia. Tu compasión no hará que su arrepentimiento desaparezca, pero puede aliviar el dolor .

Pensamientos suicidas

Si tu novia hace algún comentario que sugiera que está contemplando el suicidio, comunícate con un médico o un profesional de la salud mental de inmediato . Puedes comunicarte con la Línea Nacional de Prevención del Suicidio las 24 horas del día, los 7 días de la semana al 1-800-273-8255.

También es importante comprender que es posible que tú y tu novia no sientan ninguna emoción negativa. No tienen que arrepentirse de su decisión para necesitar apoyo profesional o un lugar para hablar con otras personas que han estado en una situación similar. El apoyo siempre está disponible para ustedes.

Si tu novia o tú quieren hablar sobre pensamientos o emociones no resueltos relacionados con un aborto del pasado, Avail NYC está aquí para ustedes. Tenemos grupos de apoyo posaborto y de apoyo uno a uno sin costo, dirigidos por asesores comprensivos y capacitados. Programa una cita confidencial y gratuita hoy.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Otras publicaciones relevantes

¿Cómo puedo saber si mi novia está embarazada?

Tue, 02 Nov 2021 18:34:37 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

¿Crees que tu pareja podría estar embarazada? Quizás tú le preguntaste, y ella descartó la pregunta o rápidamente dijo “no”, pero aún no estás seguro.

Tal vez ya le sugeriste que se hiciera una prueba de embarazo, pero no quiere hacerse una porque tiene miedo de enfrentar el resultado. O puede que ella ya sepa que está embarazada, pero no está lista para hablar de ello, todas estas son respuestas frecuentes.

Claro que, la mejor manera de saber la respuesta es una prueba de embarazo, pero también puedes buscar estas señales habituales para detectar las primeras etapas del embarazo.

Señales habituales en la primera etapa del embarazo

Cuando una mujer queda embarazada, su cuerpo produce gonadotropina coriónica humana (hCG), una hormona del embarazo que se duplica en cantidad cada pocos días hasta que alcanza su punto máximo alrededor de las once semanas de embarazo. La hCG puede causar síntomas en una mujer embarazada, particularmente al principio del embarazo.

Retraso del período

Es posible que esta señal no sea tan obvia como parece. A veces, las mujeres tienen sangrado de implantación al principio del embarazo, que erróneamente lo toman como un período. Sin embargo, el sangrado de implantación suele ser más leve y corto que un período normal.

Podría ser útil llevar el control de los períodos menstruales de tu novia junto con ella. Si estás interesado, ella puede invitarte a las aplicaciones de seguimiento del período como Flo o Clue .

Aversión a comidas u olores

Si tu novia de repente siente repugnancia por la comida que alguna vez disfrutó, podría ser una señal de embarazo. También podrías notar que tiene una nueva aversión a los olores fuertes.

Náuseas o vómitos

¿Has notado que tu novia come menos o come comida con almidón como crackers? ¿O se queja de sentirse mal del estómago, pero no tiene ninguna enfermedad? Estas podrían ser señales de embarazo. Las personas a menudo se refieren a las náuseas o los vómitos durante el embarazo como “ náuseas matutinas ”, pero pueden afectar a una mujer embarazada en cualquier momento del día o de la noche.

Fatiga

¿Está tu novia exhausta, no solo cansada, sino muy agotada? El embarazo hace que el cuerpo de la mujer tenga cambios enormes: la presión y el azúcar en la sangre bajan, lo que provoca fatiga; los niveles de la hormona progesterona aumentan, lo que aumenta su agotamiento; y su cuerpo produce más sangre para aportar nutrientes que sustenten el embarazo.

Mamas adoloridas o hinchadas

Las mamas adoloridas o hinchadas pueden ser una señal de que tu novia está embarazada, o puede ser señal de que está a punto de tener su período. Sin embargo, estas señales a menudo se amplifican durante el embarazo, ya que las hormonas hacen que su cuerpo retenga más líquido, lo que provoca más hinchazón y sensibilidad.

Qué hacer si crees que tu novia está embarazada

Si crees que tu novia está embarazada, el primer paso es hablar con ella al respecto. Ten en cuenta que el miedo es la razón más frecuente por la que tu novia podría resistirse a hacer una prueba de embarazo, por lo que es importante que se sienta segura de que tú responderás al resultado de manera positiva. Asegúrale que pueden trabajar juntos en cualquier escenario; ella necesita sentir tu apoyo a través de tus acciones y no solo de palabras.

Las respuestas están disponibles

Avail NYC entrega pruebas de embarazo autoadministrables gratuitas (kits de prueba de orina hCG) para darles la respuesta que tú y tu novia necesitan para seguir adelante. Programa una cita con nuestros asesores experimentados que pueden responder tus preguntas y darte información imparcial para que puedan tomar una decisión informada sobre un posible embarazo no planeado. También los podemos remitir al centro médico externo para una cita obstetra/ginecológica gratuita o de bajo costo si lo desean.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Otras publicaciones relevantes

¿Cuándo debería esperar sentir los síntomas del embarazo?

Tue, 02 Nov 2021 18:34:36 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Podrías sospechar que estás embarazada. Quizás te hayas hecho una prueba de embarazo en casa y los resultados sean positivos. Quizás no esperabas esto. Es posible que ahora te sientas abrumada y tengas muchas preguntas sin respuesta. En Avail NYC , tenemos asesores que te ayudan con afecto y confidencialidad, y que están listos para escuchar tus preocupaciones y darte la información que necesitas cuando consideres tus próximos pasos.

Quizás te estés preguntando: “¿Qué tan rápido debo esperar sentir los síntomas del embarazo?” El conocimiento empodera, y aquí aprenderás sobre los síntomas habituales del embarazo y cuándo puedes esperar sentirlos.

Síntomas del embarazo en la primera etapa

Ten en cuenta que cada embarazo es diferente, y es posible que no tengas todos los síntomas siguientes. Estas líneas del tiempo de los síntomas del embarazo comienzan con el primer día de tu último período.

Calambres leves: A menudo, este es el primer síntoma que tiene una mujer al principio del embarazo. Puede ocurrir de una a cuatro semanas después del primer día de tu último período. A veces, las mujeres sienten calambres en el momento de la implantación (cuando el óvulo fertilizado se adhiere al revestimiento del útero), lo que ocurre de diez a catorce días después de la concepción. El sangrado o las manchas también pueden acompañar a la implantación.

Retraso del período: Por lo general, si estás embarazada, no tendrás tu siguiente período cuatro semanas después del primer día de tu último período.

Sensación de cansancio: La fatiga puede comenzar alrededor de la semana cuatro o cinco, a medida que las hormonas del embarazo aumentan y hacen que te sientas agotada.

Náuseas y vómitos: Aproximadamente de cuatro a seis semanas después del primer día de tu período anterior, puedes comenzar a sentir náuseas y sensibilidad a los olores, a menudo acompañados de vómitos. Aunque es posible que escuches el término “ náuseas matutinas ,” las náuseas pueden ocurrir en cualquier momento del día o de la noche.

Hormigueo o dolor en las mamas: Los cambios en tus mamas pueden ocurrir desde la semana cuatro a la seis. Un aumento de hormonas también puede hacer que tus mamas se sientan hinchadas o sensibles.

Orina frecuente: Cuando quedas embarazada, los riñones producen más líquido y llenan la vejiga con más frecuencia. Puedes comenzar a notar que haces frecuentes viajes al baño entre las semanas cuatro y seis.

Estreñimiento e hinchazón: Además, durante las semanas cuatro a seis, puedes comenzar a tener estreñimiento e hinchazón. Se cree que esto se debe a que las hormonas hacen más lento tu sistema digestivo.

Cambios de humor: Alrededor de la sexta semana, algunas mujeres sienten emociones impredecibles o cambios de humor anormales.

Acidez: La acidez se siente como ardor en el pecho. Ocurre cuando la válvula entre el esófago y el estómago se relaja, lo que permite que el ácido del estómago suba hacia el esófago.

Estos son los primeros síntomas del embarazo y la cronología de cuándo es más frecuente tenerlos. Aunque cada síntoma es normal, y a menudo manejable, podrías estar pensando “¿Estoy lista para esto? ¿Ahora qué?”

Consúltanos sobre una prueba de embarazo autoadministrable

Haz una cita hoy en Avail NYC para visitarnos y recibir una prueba de embarazo sin costo.

Si te enfrentas a un embarazo no planeado, nuestros asesores están aquí para ayudarte a explorar tus opciones. En un entorno imparcial y sin prejuicios, te preparamos para que descubras la mejor decisión para ti. Nuestros asesores escuchan y responden tus preguntas para ayudarte en cada paso del proceso.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Otras publicaciones relevantes

El ciclo de tu novia: ¿Qué posibilidades hay de que quede embarazada?

Tue, 02 Nov 2021 18:34:34 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Atrás quedaron los días en que la anticoncepción era responsabilidad exclusiva de la mujer. Si tu novia queda embarazada inesperadamente, los afectará a ambos. Por lo tanto, tiene sentido que los hombres como tú hagan más preguntas, busquen respuestas y quieran estar informados sobre los ciclos de su novia y cuándo es más probable que queden embarazadas.

Empecemos.

¿Qué es un “ciclo”?

Cada mes, el cuerpo de una mujer se prepara para un posible embarazo, y ese proceso hormonal es su “ciclo menstrual” o simplemente su "ciclo".

La duración del ciclo de una mujer se mide desde el primer día de su período hasta el primer día de su próximo período. La duración del ciclo varía de una mujer a otra, y puede oscilar entre veintiún y treinta y cinco días, siendo el promedio de veintiocho días.

Hay cuatro fases en su ciclo: menstruación, fase folicular, ovulación y fase lútea. Veamos lo que significa eso con respecto a quedar embarazada.

¿En qué fase del ciclo de mi novia es más probable que quede embarazada?

Es más probable que su novia quede embarazada en la fase ovulatoria de su ciclo, pero eso no significa que no pueda suceder en otros puntos del ciclo, ¡y aquí está el por qué!

La fase de ovulación es cuando el ovario de la mujer libera un óvulo. Si cree que podría estar “seguro” y tener relaciones sexuales sin protección durante la fase folicular de su ciclo, recuerde esto: su esperma puede vivir hasta cinco días en el ciclo de ovulación. Eso crea un entorno en el que el óvulo y su esperma están en el mismo lugar al mismo tiempo, y ella podría quedar embarazada.

El óvulo de una mujer vive entre doce y veinticuatro horas, y el esperma de un hombre hasta cinco días. Eso significa que hay una ventana de aproximadamente seis días cada mes, alrededor de la ovulación, en la que es más probable que su novia quede embarazada si tiene relaciones sexuales sin protección.

¿En qué parte de su ciclo está ovulando mi novia?

La ovulación ocurre aproximadamente dos semanas antes de su período esperado.

¿Cómo puedo saber cuándo faltan dos semanas para el período de mi novia?

Excelente pregunta. Si su novia es una de las más de cien millones de mujeres que usan una aplicación para el control del período, pregúntele si la compartiría con usted. Las aplicaciones populares para el control del período tienen la capacidad de compartir el ciclo y notificaciones automáticas.

Si su novia no se siente cómoda compartiendo su aplicación con usted, pregúntele si estaría bien que usted descargue su propia aplicación y llevar un control de su período usted mismo. Esto no es extraño ni anormal. ¡Es asumir la responsabilidad y empoderarse con conocimientos!

Mitos frecuentes sobre quedar embarazada

Avail NYC apoya tanto a mujeres como a hombres dándoles un lugar seguro para hablar sobre sus experiencias, especialmente cuando se enfrenta un embarazo no planeado. Si tienes más preguntas o crees que tu novia podría estar embarazada, programa una cita confidencial gratuita con un asesor hoy.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Otras publicaciones relevantes

10 señales de embarazo distintos al retraso del período

Tue, 02 Nov 2021 18:34:32 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Aunque un período menstrual retrasado o la ausencia de este es una señal frecuente de embarazo, existen otras señales de que podrías estar embarazada que ocurren antes de que notes que no tuviste tu período. Según una encuesta hecha por la Asociación Americana del Embarazo , la falta del período fue la primera señal de embarazo para solo el 29% de las mujeres encuestadas .

Aquí hay 10 cosas a las que debes poner atención además de la ausencia del período:

Sangrado leve o manchado. El sangrado de implantación, que ocurre cuando se implanta el óvulo fertilizado, es una de las primeras señales de embarazo. El sangrado de implantación generalmente ocurre alrededor de seis a doce días después de la concepción , pero algunas mujeres tienen manchado durante las primeras doce semanas de embarazo.
Calambres . Los calambres pueden sentirse durante el embarazo a medida que tu útero se expande. Claro que, muchas mujeres tienen calambres de forma regular. Si tienes calambres en un momento en que habitualmente no los tendrías, podría deberse a que estás embarazada.
Mamas hinchadas/sensibles. El tercer síntoma del embarazo más frecuentemente citado se atribuye a la hinchazón o aumento de la sensibilidad de las mamas. Los cambios en las mamas pueden comenzar desde una o dos semanas después de la concepción.
Fatiga . Cuando estás embarazada, tienes muchos cambios hormonales, incluyendo el aumento de la producción de progesterona, que puede hacer que te sientas fatigada y somnolienta.
Dolores de cabeza . El aumento repentino de hormonas y el aumento del volumen de sangre al principio del embarazo pueden desencadenar dolores de cabeza.
Dolores de espalda . El dolor lumbar puede ocurrir al principio del embarazo, pero puede continuar hasta la semana treinta y cuatro.
Náuseas/vómitos . Todos hemos oído hablar de las náuseas matutinas (que, a pesar de su nombre, pueden ocurrir en cualquier momento del día). Las náuseas matutinas pueden comenzar entre dos y ocho semanas después de la concepción.
Antojos/aversiones a la comida . Puedes tener antojos de comida inusuales o sentir que te repugnan las comidas que solías disfrutar.
Cambios bruscos de humor . El aumento de hormonas que se da durante el embarazo puede hacer que te vuela más emotiva. Los cambios de humor pueden comenzar solo unas semanas después de la concepción.
Orina frecuente . Una de las hormonas producidas durante las primeras semanas de embarazo aumenta el flujo sanguíneo a la región pélvica, lo que provoca una necesidad más frecuente de orinar.

Aunque algunas mujeres pueden no tener ninguna de estas señales de embarazo durante varias semanas, otras pueden tener estas señales pocos días después de la concepción. Claro que, todos estos síntomas pueden deberse a problemas distintos del embarazo. Sin embargo, si has tenido uno o más de estos síntomas y crees que podrías estar embarazada, podría ser el momento de hacerse una prueba de embarazo.

Avail NYC entrega pruebas de embarazo autoadministrables y gratuitas con calidad de laboratorio, que pueden detectar las hormonas del embarazo diez días después de la concepción y darte resultados en un plazo de tres a cinco minutos. Si crees que podrías estar embarazada o deseas hablar sobre tus opciones de embarazo con una de nuestras asesoras, programa una cita hoy.

Preguntas frecuentes sobre síntomas del embarazo

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Otras publicaciones relevantes

¿Puedes obtener un resultado falso positivo de una prueba de embarazo?

Tue, 02 Nov 2021 18:34:29 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Puede ser increíblemente estresante no saber con certeza si estás embarazada o no. Es habitual querer la respuesta lo antes posible, por lo que tu primer pensamiento podría ser hacerte una prueba de embarazo. Muchas pruebas cuentan con un alto porcentaje de precisión, aun así, es posible obtener un resultado falso positivo o falso negativo.

Aquí analizaremos cómo funcionan las pruebas de embarazo, y cómo pueden ocurrir resultados inexactos.

Cómo funcionan las pruebas de embarazo caseras

Al quedar embarazada, el óvulo fertilizado se mueve a través de la trompa de Falopio hasta el útero, y se implanta en el revestimiento de la pared uterina; esto se llama implantación .

Después de que sucede la implantación, tu cuerpo comienza a producir una hormona llamada gonadotropina coriónica humana (hCG) . Un análisis de sangre puede detectar la hormona del embarazo hCG aproximadamente dos o tres días después de la implantación, que es un poco más de dos semanas a partir de tu período anterior.

Las pruebas de embarazo en orina que se hacen en la etapa temprana son ahora muy sensibles, y pueden detectar la hCG a partir de solo cinco a seis días después de la implantación, que es aproximadamente tres semanas después de tu último período y casi una semana antes de tu próximo período. Sin embargo, se recomienda esperar hasta que haya ausencia de un período antes de hacerse una prueba de embarazo en casa para asegurarse de obtener los resultados correctos que necesitas. Si te haces una prueba antes de la fecha límite de tu período, tienes una precisión de solo el 76%; pero si esperas a tomar una prueba de embarazo en orina hasta que hay ausencia del período, tienes una precisión del 99%.

Por lo general, tus niveles de hCG se duplicarán cada cuarenta y ocho a setenta y dos horas desde el momento de la implantación hasta que tengas aproximadamente diez semanas de embarazo, cuando los niveles disminuyen y se estabilizan durante el resto de tu embarazo. Es por eso por lo que es más probable que los resultados sean precisos si esperas unos días más para hacerte una prueba.

La mayoría de las pruebas de embarazo funcionan sosteniendo la varilla de prueba en el flujo de orina o sumergiéndola en un recipiente con orina. Si la prueba detecta un nivel de concentración mínimo de hCG, se producirá un resultado positivo. Cualquier concentración de hCG menor que ese nivel mostrará un resultado negativo.

Cómo se puede obtener un resultado falso positivo de una prueba de embarazo

Una prueba de embarazo casera puede mostrar un resultado positivo cuando no está embarazada. Esto se conoce como falso positivo y es poco frecuente, pero sucede. Las siguientes son las razones más frecuentes por las que puede obtener un falso positivo:

1. Algunos medicamentos pueden causar un resultado falso positivo en una prueba de embarazo.

Los medicamentos para la fertilidad que contienen hCG también pueden dar lugar a un falso positivo. Otros medicamentos que pueden causar un resultado falso positivo incluyen:

2. Ocurrió un aborto espontáneo muy temprano

Después de que ocurre una pérdida de embarazo, todavía puede haber niveles detectables de hCG en tu cuerpo en el momento de una prueba. Aproximadamente del 50 al 75% de todos los abortos espontáneos ocurre un par de días después de la implantación, lo que se conoce como un “ embarazo químico ”. Dado que las mujeres tienen sus períodos como se espera, muchas mujeres ni siquiera se dan cuenta de que están embarazadas a menos que se hagan una prueba de embarazo temprana .

3. Tiene un embarazo molar o ectópico.

Obtendrá una prueba de embarazo positiva con un embarazo molar o ectópico porque hay un óvulo fertilizado que hace que su cuerpo produzca hCG. Sin embargo, en el 99% de los embarazos molares, el feto nunca se desarrolla, solo se forma tejido anormal. Un embarazo ectópico se implanta fuera del útero, y es una emergencia médica que necesita atención inmediata.

4. Una línea de evaporación parece un resultado positivo.

A veces, una línea de evaporación tenue e incolora puede parecer un resultado positivo. La mejor manera de evitar esto es leer los resultados no más tarde de la hora indicada en las instrucciones.

5. La prueba detecta hCG de un embarazo anterior.

Si estuviste embarazada recientemente, podrías obtener un resultado falso positivo de la lectura de la prueba de hCG aún en tu cuerpo por tu embarazo anterior. U n estudio médico reporta que entre el 60% y el 84% de la hCG se elimina del cuerpo siete días después de un aborto espontáneo. Esto significa que podría tener el 40% del nivel de hcG del embarazo una semana completa después del aborto espontáneo.

6. La prueba caducó.

Los productos químicos en una prueba de embarazo vencida no funcionan como se supone que deben hacerlo, por lo que la prueba puede interpretar mal si tu orina contiene hCG o no. Utiliza siempre una prueba que no esté vencida.

Cómo ocurre un resultado falso negativo

Un falso negativo significa que la prueba de embarazo muestra un resultado negativo, pero en realidad estás embarazada. Las investigaciones revelan que hasta el 5% de las pruebas de embarazo dan un resultado falso negativo .

Un falso negativo es mucho más frecuente que un falso positivo, y puede ocurrir por una variedad de razones , incluyendo las siguientes:

1. Te hiciste la prueba demasiado pronto.

Es posible que los niveles de concentración de hCG no hayan sido lo suficientemente altos para que la prueba los detecte. Esperar a hacer la prueba una semana después de no tener tu período puede ayudar a prevenir este tipo de falso negativo.

2. No había suficiente orina o la orina estaba diluida.

Esto puede haber impedido que la prueba detecte con precisión la hCG. Para obtener los mejores resultados, usa una prueba de embarazo en casa a primera hora de la mañana para garantizar que tu orina esté más concentrada.

3. La varilla de la prueba está rota o caducada.

Un falso positivo o un falso negativo puede ocurrir debido a que la prueba no funcionó bien, caducó o debido a un error al usarla. Por eso es tan importante seguir las instrucciones exactamente para obtener los resultados más precisos.

4. Sus medicamentos están provocando un falso negativo.

Ciertos antihistamínicos o diuréticos pueden provocar un resultado falso negativo.

5. Hay complicaciones del embarazo.

Los embarazos ectópicos también pueden causar un resultado falso negativo en la prueba de embarazo. Dado que un embarazo ectópico es muy grave, no dudes en buscar atención médica cada vez que tengas dolor pélvico.

Avail NYC da pruebas de embarazo autoadministrables y gratuitas para quienes enfrentan la posibilidad de un embarazo no planeado. Si estás embarazada (o crees que puedes estarlo) y no sabes a quién acudir, comunícate con nosotros hoy mismo.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Otras publicaciones relevantes

¿Puedo tener un aborto seguro?

Tue, 02 Nov 2021 18:34:27 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

¿Puedo tener un aborto seguro? Puede ser una de las primeras preguntas que vienen a la mente cuando se enfrenta un embarazo no planeado y se consideran todas las opciones. En una situación que se presta fácilmente a situaciones atemorizantes, es importante tomar una decisión con la que te sientas segura.

En Avail NYC , creemos en darte información precisa y basada en hechos, lo que te permitirá tomar la mejor decisión posible en función de tus necesidades y valores.

La seguridad ha mejorado

"El protocolo aprobado por la Administración de Alimentos y Medicamentos de los Estados Unidos (FDA) para el aborto con medicamentos se actualizó en 2016, basado en una extensa investigación que muestra mejores resultados con un régimen revisado", dice la Academia Nacional de Ciencias, Ingeniería y Medicina en su estudio de 2018 sobre “La seguridad y la calidad de la atención del aborto en los EE. UU.”

El estudio continúa: “Las técnicas usadas en los procedimientos de aspiración también son más seguras y efectivas que en el pasado. Las curetas de metal afiladas, que alguna vez se usaron, son consideradas obsoletas por muchos grupos profesionales, y ya no se recomienda su uso para el aborto debido al aumento (aunque raro) del riesgo de lesiones. Los nuevos enfoques para la preparación del cuello uterino y el uso de la guía ecográfica también han mejorado la seguridad del aborto”.

NPR.org habló sobre el mismo estudio, citando a Ned Calonge, el copresidente del comité que escribió el estudio: "Yo diría que la conclusión principal es que los abortos que se hacen en los Estados Unidos son seguros y efectivos". Calonge es profesor asociado de medicina familiar y epidemiología en la Universidad de Colorado y director ejecutivo de The Colorado Trust.

Añadió: “Los investigadores encontraron que alrededor del 90 por ciento de todos los abortos ocurren en las primeras 12 semanas de embarazo. Y las complicaciones de todos los abortos son pocas.”

El estudio también señaló que, aunque hay menos clínicas ahora que en 2011, “La gran mayoría de los abortos se pueden hacer de manera segura en entornos clínicos. Para un procedimiento ambulatorio, incluyendo el aborto, las precauciones importantes son si el establecimiento cuenta con el equipo, el personal y un plan de transferencia de emergencia adecuados para tratar las complicaciones que puedan ocurrir ”.

Hablar sobre sus opciones

Antes de hacer una cita para un aborto, ven a Avail NYC . Nuestros asesores pueden explicarte cómo confirmar el embarazo con una prueba gratuita con calidad de laboratorio y asegurar un espacio seguro para hablar sobre tus emociones. Si estás considerando el aborto debido a un diagnóstico médico complejo, nuestros asesores pueden remitirte al centro médico para mujeres externo para obtener consejos profesionales y gratuitos sobre preocupaciones complejas de la gestación.

Nuestros asesores están aquí para apoyarte y guiarte a través del proceso de la toma de decisiones, todo en un entorno solidario y sin prejuicios. Selecciona el botón de abajo para programar una prueba de embarazo gratuita o una reunión confidencial con uno de nuestros asesores, te ayudaremos a analizar todas tus opciones para que sepas que estás tomando la mejor decisión para ti.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Otras publicaciones relevantes

Consejos para hombres sobre embarazos no planificados

Tue, 02 Nov 2021 18:34:24 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

El embarazo y el aborto son experiencias complejas. Seamos realistas, afectan tanto a los hombres como a las mujeres. Si estás o no en una relación con tu pareja, necesitas tiempo y espacio para procesar por tu cuenta. Es posible que sientas presión de tu pareja o de quienes la rodean. Así que tomemos un momento para considerar el panorama general separándolo todo en pedazos más pequeños.

Reconociendo el gran “SI”

¿Y si estás embarazada? Es muy posible que lo estés, pero trata de no sacar conclusiones precipitadas. Consulta con tu pareja para ver cómo se siente. Tal vez no tomaste las precauciones habituales la última vez que tuviste intimidad, y ahora estás dudando. O tal vez ella ha estado actuando un poco diferente últimamente. De cualquier manera, es importante investigar las señales clave del embarazo y luego tener una conversación honesta juntos.

Si estás buscando acceso a una prueba de embarazo gratis, ¡podemos dártela! Haz una cita hoy.

Establecer una comunicación transparente

La comunicación transparente es vital para reducir el estrés y establecer expectativas en cualquier relación: platónica, romántica, sexual o de otro tipo. Trata de ser lo más honesto posible con tu pareja sobre tus emociones, valores y deseos. Asegúrate de que ambos hayan tenido tiempo para procesar por su cuenta antes de tomar cualquier decisión. Considera escribir o incluso hacer una nota en tu teléfono para ordenar tus pensamientos y planificar lo que te gustaría conversar con tu pareja. Esto puede ayudar a que ambos se sientan más seguros a medida que se acercan a lo que podría ser una conversación difícil.

Conocer tus valores

Ten claridad sobre tus valores. Ya sea que seamos conscientes de ello o no, nuestros valores fundamentales condicionan la forma en que vemos el mundo y las decisiones que tomamos. Es importante reflexionar y considerar qué valores te están impulsando a través de tu situación actual. ¿Cuáles son tus valores fundamentales? ¿Se alinean con tus acciones? ¿Cómo puedes integrar mejor tus valores en tu toma de decisiones, metas a largo plazo y prácticas diarias? Siempre es importante reflexionar sobre el panorama general y el contexto más amplio. ¿No estás seguro de cómo empezar? Programa una cita por tu cuenta o en pareja. Tenemos herramientas respaldadas por la ciencia para ayudarte en tu trayecto.

Decidir el futuro de tu relación

Uno de los aspectos más urgentes de tu situación actual puede ser decidir el futuro de tu relación. Quizás no seas exclusivo, ni estás comprometido. O tal vez han tenido una relación, pero no están seguros de un futuro juntos. Si han enfrentado muchos problemas últimamente, considera si esos problemas son a corto o largo plazo. ¿Están basados en circunstancias temporales o rasgos de carácter a largo plazo? ¿Ves un camino que puedan seguir si esos problemas se pudieran resolver? Asegúrate de considerar también la perspectiva de ella, ya que ella puede sentirse más agobiada que tú. ¿Cuál es la mejor manera de apoyarla, independientemente del estado de su relación?

Hacer un compromiso financiero

Es posible que estés pensando mucho en la carga financiera asociada con tu situación, pero afortunadamente, no tienes que sobrellevarla solo. Si se trata de costos médicos, necesidades materiales o apoyo emocional, tenemos una red de recursos gratuitos para apoyarte a ti y a tu pareja. Si eliges ser padre o participar en el proceso de adopción, te acompañaremos en ese proceso. Y si solo necesitas recursos, podemos remitirte a una de nuestras organizaciones asociadas.

Consulta nuestra red de socios para obtener algunos recursos gratuitos en la ciudad de Nueva York.

Procesar un aborto del pasado

Quizás estés aquí porque tu pareja tuvo un aborto y está buscando un lugar para procesar esta situación. Los abortos son experiencias complejas, y pueden provocar una amplia gama de emociones en ambos. Es perfectamente normal tener una variedad de emociones cambiantes a su alrededor, tanto buenas como malas, incluso muchos años después. Lo que sea que estés sintiendo, estamos aquí para escuchar, sin prejuicios.

Haz una cita con uno de nuestros asesores capacitados para asegurar un espacio confidencial para procesar tus emociones, o considera unirte a uno de nuestros grupos de apoyo para escuchar a otros hombres que han pasado por lo mismo.

Otros temas para procesar

Aquí hay algunos recursos más, dependiendo de tu situación:

Mi pareja está embarazada, o puede estar embarazada, y no estoy seguro de qué hacer .
Mi pareja está embarazada, y quiere saber más sobre la crianza de los hijos o la adopción .
Mi pareja tuvo un aborto, y quiero procesarlo .
Quiero saber cómo construir una relación sana .

Cada uno de estos aspectos puede ser difícil e incluso abrumador de procesar. Hablar con alguien en quien confías es una excelente manera de evaluar cómo te sientes y qué es lo que valoras. Si lo deseas, también puedes hablar con uno de nuestros asesores, quienes están aquí para escucharte sin juzgar.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Otras publicaciones relevantes

¿Cuándo debo hacerme una prueba de embarazo para obtener un resultado más preciso?

Tue, 02 Nov 2021 18:34:20 GMT

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

¿Crees que puedes estar embarazada? ¿Estás teniendo ciertos síntomas que te hacen pensar? Si este es el caso, probablemente tu primer paso sea hacerte una prueba de embarazo, y recibir resultados precisos de la prueba es crucial. Puedes tomar medidas prácticas para garantizar la máxima precisión. A continuación, se dan algunos consejos sobre cuándo debes hacer la prueba de embarazo y, según los resultados, los próximos pasos que puedes seguir.

¿Cuándo debería hacerme una prueba de embarazo?

Las pruebas de embarazo están diseñadas para detectar una hormona muy específica. Esta hormona, llamada gonadotropina coriónica humana (hCG), está en la orina o el torrente sanguíneo de una mujer directamente después de que un óvulo fertilizado se adhiere a la pared del útero. Esta hormona comienza a producirse de manera exponencial, y es detectable aproximadamente una semana después de la fertilización. Por lo tanto, el mejor momento para hacer una prueba de embarazo es entre siete y diez días después de tener relaciones sexuales o poco después de la primera ausencia de tu período. Haz la prueba a primera hora de la mañana cuando te despiertes, ya que los niveles de hCG estarán más concentrados en la orina.

Sin embargo, no hay razón para sentir pánico. Tu ventana para obtener un resultado preciso no termina en siete días. De hecho, los niveles de hCG de una mujer aumentan sustancialmente en los días posteriores a la primera semana de fertilización, “duplicándose cada dos o tres días”. En otras palabras, ¡tienes tiempo!

¿Qué tipos de pruebas de embarazo puedo elegir?

Como se mencionó, la hCG se puede detectar en la orina o en el torrente sanguíneo. Los análisis de orina no son invasivos y son fáciles de administrar donde te sientas cómoda y en un lugar privado. Los análisis de sangre se hacen en el consultorio de un médico, generalmente después de confirmar primero un embarazo sospechoso con una prueba de orina, y se dividen en dos categorías generales: pruebas cualitativas de hCG y pruebas cuantitativas de hCG. Los análisis de sangre cualitativos detectan si hay hCG presente en el torrente sanguíneo. Las pruebas cuantitativas determinan la cantidad de hCG presente. En general, las pruebas cualitativas de hCG se utilizan para confirmar aún más el embarazo para que puedas comenzar a pensar en los próximos pasos.

¿Cuáles son mis resultados?

Las pruebas de embarazo de orina caseras muestran resultados en aproximadamente dos a cinco minutos. Los análisis de sangre administrados por el clínico necesitan algún tiempo para obtener resultados. Independientemente de la prueba que elijas, puedes esperar recibir un resultado “positivo” o “negativo”.

Si tu prueba da positivo, lo más probable es que estés embarazada. Los resultados positivos significan que hay muchas opciones por delante, una de las cuales será la correcta para ti. Asimismo, los resultados negativos indican que lo más probable es que no estés embarazada. Este resultado puede producir emociones mixtas o complicadas, incluso si tu sospecha de embarazo no fue planificada. Considera confiar en un amigo de confianza o en tu pareja para expresar tus sentimientos y encontrar el apoyo que necesitas.

¿Cuáles son mis próximos pasos?

Después de recibir un resultado positivo de la prueba, lo más probable es que quieras hacer una ecografía para confirmar la viabilidad del embarazo . Las pruebas de embarazo caseras no son 100% precisas, independientemente de la hora en que las administres, y no pueden decirte si el embarazo es ectópico (que crece fuera del útero).

Una vez que se confirma tu embarazo, tiene tres opciones disponibles: crianza de los hijos, adopción o aborto. Si te sientes abrumada por las opciones y quieres evitar el ruido para tomar una decisión segura, considera encontrar a alguien que escuche tu historia y te oriente.

Pruebas de embarazo en Midtown Manhattan y East Harlem

Avail NYC está aquí para apoyarte. Somos un centro de orientación para mujeres y hombres que están tomando una decisión sobre un embarazo no planeado. Avail NYC da pruebas de embarazo autoadministrables y, lo que es más importante, los asesores comprensivos de están aquí para darte apoyo emocional, recursos prácticos y remisiones mientras tomas una decisión sobre cómo proceder. Tenemos un entorno confidencial y sin prejuicios.

Avail NYC existe con el fin de ser un refugio seguro para mujeres y hombres que enfrentan un embarazo no planeado o que buscan apoyo después de un aborto. No somos un proveedor médico.

Otras publicaciones relevantes

Dealing with Grief After Abortion

Fri, 29 Oct 2021 12:28:30 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Most people who had an abortion report making their decision very quickly, sometimes in the matter of just a few hours or days. Others take weeks and weigh all their options. Regardless of the timeline, once a decision is made it’s normal for people to try to put their emotions on the back burner, telling themselves it will be over soon and focusing on just getting through the procedure. Unfortunately, many people don't realize that new waves of feelings often arise following the procedure, especially if you haven't dealt with your emotions throughout the process.

Some of these new feelings that arise can seem contradictory, like relief and sadness. One of those emotions could be grief. You can feel this even if you don’t regret your decision at all. Read on to learn common emotional and relational responses after abortion procedures.

Emotional Response to Abortion

Following an abortion, you could experience a wave of various emotions. These emotions sometimes look like anger or just deep sadness with no apparent reason.

Perhaps in the past, you were able to make everybody laugh and have a good time. However, now your friends are noticing and remarking that you don't seem to be yourself and seem to be more serious. Sometimes grief even looks like losing the motivation to get out of bed. The good news is you're not alone in these feelings.

Many women in a 2021 study reported significant emotions after a pregnancy loss , and for many of them, these emotions arose a year or more later. If you are experiencing different emotions immediately after the abortion, or if they are surfacing months or years later, you are not alone. However, the good news is that you can find the healing and resilience needed to move forward and get back to where you were. It's just going to take a little bit of work first to acknowledge that you're grieving.

Post Relationship Grief

Many of us assume that grieving only happens when you lose someone you knew deeply and spent a lot of time with. With pregnancy loss, however, this isn't the case.

In this scenario, you haven't really known anyone or anything, but there's also another level of grief that affects young people more than most: the grief over what could have been or the “what-if.” Grieving what could have been, what you hope for in the future, or maybe even the lack of support you wish you’d had, is common to feel and completely valid.

For example, many single individuals, apart from an unexpected pregnancy or abortion, often report that after a breakup they have severe, deep grieving, even though they don't miss the person. Why is that? You are grieving over the loss of what could have been: plans you had in your mind; timelines you were counting on for your future to happen at a certain point but didn't happen; or things didn't turn out the way that you wanted it to.

All the above are present and valid indications of grief.

What Can You Do to Begin Acknowledging Your Grief?

Acknowledge your emotions and share them with somebody close to you. If you don't have a person like that, especially since abortion is so stigmatized, you need a safe place or support group. That's why Avail exists, to provide that safe place because many of us have been there, and we don't want you to go through this alone. Our expert advocates can talk to you in free, confidential, one-on-one sessions, offering a compassionate listening ear and practical tools for emotional health. They can also connect you to Avail’s After Abortion Support group, where other women who are in the same situation can process their experiences together.

Changes in Your Relationship After an Abortion

Not all romantic relationships are the same after an abortion. Many times there can be more distance in the relationship. If couples aren’t on the same page about the decision or don’t communicate well, it can even lead to a break up.

If that’s your relationship, or you’re also grieving a break up, Avail also offers post-abortion support for couples and one-on-one appointments for men who are grieving their partner’s abortion on their own. Whether you are still together as a couple or no longer in a relationship, our male client advocates bring the unique perspective of what men need in this process as well.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

What to Expect From Your First After Abortion Session at Avail NYC

Thu, 28 Oct 2021 16:00:02 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

*Names changed for confidentiality.

Your First Session at Avail NYC

If you’ve had one abortion (or more), you’re not alone. Studies show that one in four women in America has terminated a pregnancy. If you are experiencing conflicted or upsetting emotions after an abortion, you’re also not alone. Many women and their partners report that though they feel relief, there can also be unexplained sadness, lack of motivation, trouble sleeping, etc. Some people experience some of these confusing emotions immediately after their abortion, while others are surprised by these feelings years or even decades later. Either way, the American Counseling Association encourages their clients to unpack their abortion-related emotions . That’s great advice, but what if you can’t afford counseling and feel your closest friends or family members won’t understand you or don’t want to talk about it?

A Safe Space to Process

Avail NYC exists to do just this, offering a safe, compassionate space for women and their partners to process their post-abortion experiences to find healing and freedom. Avail NYC is a nonprofit founded by women and men who had this experience and wanted to create a free, safe place for these discussions to happen. Here is a description of what your first appointment will look like.

First, you can make an appointment for our Hope program . We offer appointments for both women and partners, plus in person and virtual appointments to meet your needs.

Next, when you arrive at Avail’s office or log in to the call, you will meet your client advocate one-on-one. Here is how one past client, who had unresolved emotions after his girlfriend’s abortion, described meeting with his advocate:

“[My client advocate] revealed that talking about things is probably the best way to start healing. I had been keeping everything bottled up, but I began to realize that it was time to let this out. And Nathan* just listened without judgment or bias. My whole outlook began to change.”

Another client related a similar experience: “I was very nervous to speak openly about my grief regarding my abortion. Hannah* was very kind and supportive. Even though it was our first meeting, I feel like I was able to walk away with a better way of interpreting my pain.”

Your client advocate will listen to your story and walk you through practical tools that help you process your emotions and build healthy habits. You can complete self-reflection exercises, prioritize your values, and identify coping mechanisms. You can continue meeting with your client advocate as long as you need, completely free of charge.

Support That Fits Your Needs

Avail NYC also offers support groups for women who have had an abortion experience. In these meet-ups, just like in the one-on-one sessions, an expert advocate will guide the group through sharing their own stories and applying practical tools for healing. This support is completely free and confidential.

Our trusted client advocates have experienced an abortion too. One of them shared, “I had two abortions that I couldn’t talk about for a long time afterwards. No one understood my devastating sadness. It descended on me like a dark cloud despite the fact that I was the one who chose to terminate two pregnancies.” Perhaps you can relate to her sadness, or to guilt, confusion, pain, or trauma. You can feel these things even if you regret having your abortion. Whatever you’re feeling, Avail is here to walk you through it. All our services are completely confidential and free.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

*Names changed for confidentiality.

Top 5 Self Care Tips After Abortion

Wed, 20 Oct 2021 19:00:03 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

If you’ve had an abortion, you may be feeling many emotions—or you may not be feeling much at all. Abortion experiences can differ widely from person to person, so whatever you’re experiencing is normal and valid. It might be helpful to ask yourself, “Have my emotions, my motivation, or my energy level changed in any way?” Regardless of how you feel about the termination, it's a big moment in your life. As with any other life-changing situation, it's a good idea to process your emotions as they arise. It's important not to rush the process, because every woman's journey is different; however, it's also important not to bury or ignore emotions. If you want to begin processing your abortion, here are a few tips.

Your Emotions May Be Complicated or Contradictory and That's OK

The first part of processing anything is noting which emotions you feel. Consider setting aside some time in a place you feel safe and carefully examine what you feel. Write down every emotion you can identify, even if they seem to contradict one another. One post-abortion counselor describes the difficulty of post-abortion emotions this way: “Imagine dealing with thoughts like, ‘what made me so relieved also made me sadder than I’ve ever been and what made me sadder than I’ve ever been actually gave me relief.’” If you feel similarly, take heart that you are not alone in these feelings.

You may not be able to name every emotion. You can look through lists of emotions for help, or you can journal or create art about feelings you can’t perfectly describe.

Either way, it's important to realize that each emotion is valid and part of the healing process. You might want to say each one out loud so that you can acknowledge its presence without judgment. For example, just let yourself say, “I’m feeling angry, and I'm feeling relieved.” This is an important first step toward processing and healing.

Journal to Aid Processing Your Abortion

Many studies show journaling to be helpful for processing all kinds of emotions and experiences. You might want to buy a special notebook that is just for processing the abortion. This journal can be a way of reminding yourself that you matter and are worthy of attention. You can record your story or write about the emotions you’re feeling. Your journal is a judgement-free space where you can say things you don't feel comfortable saying anywhere else. It can also be a place where you plan what you tell other people about your abortion experience.

Plus, journalling doesn't have to look like writing in a notebook—you could create a note on your phone so you can jot down your thoughts anywhere or a document on a computer if typing is easier for you. You could speak what you're feeling out loud if you’re in the house by yourself or on a walk. You can even use other forms of art to express your experience and emotions, like painting, scrapbooking, songwriting, or choreographing a dance.

Practice Self Care to Affirm Your Body

Our bodies and minds are deeply connected, so strengthening one often helps the other. Abortion is a deeply physical experience so it makes sense that taking care of your body is a necessary part of processing it.

Studies show that post abortion exercise can help with recovering from a loss , which many women say they feel after having an abortion. Exercise also increases endorphins, the hormones that help us feel good. If you’ve just had an abortion, make sure to take things slow at first and do gentle movements. Be honest with your doctor about the abortion so you can get personalized advice about when you can start more intense workouts, as your recovery time depends on the stage and type of abortion.

As time passes after your abortion, treating your body with love and care is an important part of processing your experience. Consider swimming, dancing (whether a fun class or alone in your room), biking, long walks, self-massaging, or hands-on activities like cooking a fancy recipe, sewing, nature crafts, or fine arts.

Do Something That Gives You a Sense of Closure

Some women feel the need for a sense of closure after an abortion. This can happen immediately after the abortion or weeks, months, or years later. There are different things you can do to find closure. Some people suggest allowing yourself to have a day of grieving , perhaps on the anniversary of your abortion. Others find comfort and healing in creating different rituals or mementos that honor their story.

You may not feel a need for a sense of closure, and some of these activities may actually feel unhelpful to you. This is valid and normal—everyone's journey and desires are different, especially in this deeply personal situation. Think about what it is you want and need from this process and don’t be afraid if it takes time to discover what that is.

Talk to Someone

Perhaps the most important tip on this list is to talk to someone about your experience in a completely safe, non-judgmental space. Multiple doctors, counselors, and and women who have had abortions encourage some kind of post-abortion counseling . This could be with a licensed therapist or a trusted friend. Because this is such a sensitive topic, think carefully about whom you talk to.

If you aren't sure if there is someone in your life whom you feel comfortable talking to, consider coming to Avail NYC for our free programs. This is what we are here for: to provide a compassionate, confidential place for women to find clarity and healing after their abortion experience, no matter what they are feeling. We offer free, one-on-one sessions with expert client advocates who have their own abortion experiences and can listen to your story and provide helpful tools to process it and move forward with freedom and hope. At Avail NYC, you can also join a weekly support group with women who have had similar experiences. We are here for you, whatever your needs.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

How to Know if a Pregnancy is Viable

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 18:29:48 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

There are a hundred different emotions you might feel after discovering you’re unexpectedly pregnant. A critical aspect of deciding how to move forward is to gather the facts you need to make a confident and informed decision. One of the things you will need to know is if your pregnancy is viable or not.

Here we’ll discuss what viability is, how to determine a viable pregnancy with an ultrasound, and why an ultrasound is helpful when you haven’t yet made a pregnancy decision .

Home Pregnancy Tests

If you already had a positive home pregnancy test , you might be wondering why you need an ultrasound as well. The pregnancy test showed you're pregnant, so you have your answer, right? Not exactly.

A home urine pregnancy test reveals if the human gonadotropin (hCG) pregnancy hormone is detected in your system. What a pregnancy test can’t do is determine if your pregnancy is viable or not.

What Is Viability?

Viability is defined as the ability to live. In pregnancy, a viable pregnancy is one that is healthy and likely to conclude with a live birth if the woman chooses to carry the pregnancy to term.

A nonviable pregnancy is one that has no chance of survival. A nonviable pregnancy can include an ectopic pregnancy , which is when the fertilized egg attaches to the located outside of the womb, or a fetus that isn’t alive. The primary way to determine the viability of a pregnancy is with an ultrasound.

How to Know if a Pregnancy is Viable With an Ultrasound

In the first trimester of pregnancy, a healthcare professional can determine if your pregnancy is viable or not with an ultrasound. An ultrasound uses painless sound waves to create a picture on a screen and gives your healthcare professional important information about your pregnancy. In early pregnancy, it can determine your pregnancy location, how far along you are, and if your pregnancy is viable.

In a viable pregnancy, the ultrasound will reveal that the pregnancy is in your uterus and has a healthy fetal heart rate. If the embryo has a heart rate that is too slow (fetal bradycardia) for its gestational age, you have a higher risk of miscarriage .

Why Do I Need an Ultrasound?

We have already discussed that you need an ultrasound to determine if your pregnancy is viable — or not. But why do you need that information when you aren’t sure you if will continue your pregnancy?

Among other things, an ultrasound will tell you how far along you are, which will impact abortion options and parenting or adoption decisions if you choose to continue your pregnancy. It will also help you know how much time you have to make your decision. Many women are surprised to learn they have weeks rather than days to decide about their unexpected pregnancy. More likely than not, you have time. And as always, you have options.

Affordable Pregnancy Ultrasounds

At Avail NYC , we are committed to equipping you with the information you deserve to make the best decision for you. We offer a medical referral program to connect clients with organizations that provide free or low-cost ultrasounds. You have the right to access to quality care. Contact us today to make an appointment and learn more about our free, confidential services.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Julie's Story: Hope After an Abortion Experience

Thu, 24 Sep 2020 19:33:55 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

*Names changed for confidentiality.

Feeling Desperate, Lonely, and Confused

Julie moved to New York City to pursue a career in modeling. On the outside, her life seemed exciting, fun, and dynamic, but on the inside, she was hurting. She felt desperate, lonely, and confused.

“I was trying to understand why I was so hollow,” she says.

Fifteen years earlier, she had an abortion. Julie remembers feeling guilt and shame, but she didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. Searching for healing and peace, she found Avail NYC .

Finding Resilience

“I walked into Avail NYC broken, the weight of the world just plummeting on my shoulders,” she says. “I fell to the ground in a heap of tears.”

Through conversations with a personal advocate , Julie realized she needed healing. She decided to join a nine-week after-abortion support group . In that group, she remembers feeling “accepted, heard, and understood.”

A New Chapter

After walking through her healing journey, Julie decided to become an advocate at Avail NYC and an after-abortion support group leader.

“Now I help the very woman I once was,” she says.

You Can Find Resilience

No matter where you are in your journey, Avail is here for you.

Our compassionate team of expert advocates will listen to your story, your feelings, and your fears—without judgment. We can meet with you remotely from the safety of your own home, or you can sign up for group sessions to heal with others who’ve had similar experiences.

If you’re ready to take the first step, reach out to us today. Together, we can help you find the strength and community you need to thrive.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

*Names changed for confidentiality.

How Can I Support My Girlfriend After Her Abortion?

Tue, 17 Mar 2020 08:00:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Making a decision about an unplanned pregnancy isn’t easy. We understand that it took a great deal of soul-searching and fact gathering for your girlfriend and you to choose abortion from a list of options that may have seemed overwhelming.

We realize that the abortion process affects both of you individually, and applaud you for wanting to know what you can do to support your girlfriend or partner in this season. You have a remarkable opportunity to practice empathy as she goes through the post-abortion process, and it’s the perfect time to show how much you care for her by providing practical and emotional support.

In this article, we’ll discuss what your girlfriend might experience after having an abortion, and what you can do to support her.

Provide Practical Support

Whether your girlfriend had a medical abortion or a surgical abortion, it was and will continue to be a shock to her system as her body heals. Cramping, bleeding, and fatigue might cause her to not feel well physically. You can provide practical support in the following ways:

Check in with her often by asking how she’s feeling and if she needs anything:

Water
Food
Extra pillows
Heating pad
Pain medication

Offer to run errands.

Stay with her if she wants the company.

Offer to take her to follow-up appointments.

Show her you care by doing something special for her:

Buy her favorite flowers
Cook her favorite dinner (or take her out if she’s feeling up to it)
Bring her favorite books or magazines
Watch her favorite movie with her
Give her a unique gift
Write her an encouraging letter

Learn about the post-abortion recovery process , so you are involved and know what to expect.

Consider these examples of supportive communication:

“Do you want some alone time, or would you like me to stay with you?”
“I’m here for you whenever you feel like talking.”
“I’m sorry you’re the one physically going through this. What can I do to help?”
“What are you feeling? You’ve been through a lot.”
“Do you want to talk?”

Provide Emotional Support

Even if your girlfriend or partner felt certain abortion was the right choice, having an abortion can cause a wide range of emotions from relief to regret or sadness. The degree of emotion can vary from day to day and can rise up immediately following an abortion or years later. Recovery will require your emotional support so neither of you are left alone to cope.

A major cause for the varied emotional responses after an abortion is the sudden drop in hormones. Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) pregnancy hormone levels are at their highest before 17 weeks of pregnancy. When your girlfriend had her abortion, those hCG levels dropped suddenly, which can also cause emotional responses.

Post-Abortion Syndrome

While there is much discussion around Post-Abortion Syndrome Symptoms (PASS), it is understood that abortion is typically associated with stressful circumstances and therefore can potentially have psychological repercussions, according to Psychology Today . In addition, any event that causes trauma can indeed result in PTSD, and abortion is no exception, the article goes on to say.

Some women report experiencing negative memories (sometimes called “trauma triggers”) of their abortion experience. Trauma triggers can be any sights, sounds, smells, or thoughts that remind your girlfriend of her abortion. If triggers begin to interfere with her quality of life, you may want to suggest professional counseling or attend a support group together. Learn more about the free services Avail NYC offers for those who are healing from a past abortion experience.

Your girlfriend may feel confused about what is happening to her body if she begins to have an array of positive or negative feelings, particularly if she identifies herself as an emotionally strong person. Learn to validate her feelings. Validating them doesn’t mean you agree with them; it means that you are hearing her and acknowledging her experience. Let her know that it’s normal if she feels relieved and sad all at the same time. And if a part of you has any negative feelings, share that with her, too. Assure her that you both are in this together.

According to the American Pregnancy Association , common negative feelings following an abortion experience include:

Anger

Anger is a normal emotion your girlfriend might feel during recovery from her abortion. She can be angry at herself for having to make an abortion decision, the medical community, her religious community, and even you. Take responsibility for your part in the pregnancy. Express that you’re sorry she is the one who has had to physically experience the abortion.

Guilt

Experiencing guilt doesn’t mean you regret your decision, rather it’s a natural response one can feel after making a very difficult decision. Guilt can stem from your girlfriend feeling she bears the entire weight of the decision and its consequences or worrying how others in her life might perceive her for making this decision. Regardless of why she is experiencing guilt, acknowledge how she feels and provide encouragement.

Anxiety

An abortion is a significant event, and sometimes women experience anxiety afterward. Your girlfriend may express fear about her future or getting pregnant again. She may encounter difficulty sleeping and concentrating. She may also experience “panic attacks” that include shortness of breath and heart racing. If your girlfriend is suffering from these symptoms, encourage her to contact a mental health care professional.

Regret

It might surprise you if your girlfriend expresses regret after her abortion because you thought you both agreed you were making the best decision for your situation, but regret is also a common emotion for your girlfriend to experience. Your compassion won’t make her regret go away, but it can ease the pain.

Suicidal Thoughts

If your girlfriend makes any comments suggesting she is contemplating suicide, contact a physician or mental health professional immediately . The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be reached 24/7.

It’s also important to understand that you and your girlfriend might not feel any negative emotions at all. You don’t have to regret your decision in order to desire professional support or a place to talk with others who have been in a similar situation. Support is always available to you.

If your girlfriend or you want to talk through any unresolved thoughts or emotions related to a past abortion experience, Avail NYC is here for you. We provide no-cost, one-on-one advocacy and post-abortion support groups led by compassionate and skilled advocates. Make a free, confidential appointment today.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

How To Support Your Partner During Pregnancy

Wed, 15 Jan 2020 17:08:00 GMT

Whether your partner’s pregnancy was expected or unexpected, it’s normal to feel a mix of excitement and anxiety as you think about the future. It’s normal to wonder how things will change for you, your partner, and your relationship. It may also feel like you’re sitting on the sidelines while your partner is experiencing the pregnancy firsthand and receiving all the attention, but your role is so much more than sideline supportive. It’s active and crucial.

It’s Vital for Your Pregnant Partner to Feel Your Support

Research is clear: mothers and infants are healthier when pregnant mothers feel supported by their partners . Your appropriate support means your partner is less likely to experience depression or anxiety. Studies also reveal that having a supportive partner impacts infants positively in addition to their mothers; they appear to display lower stress levels too.

When your support leads to your partner being emotionally healthier, her body will better cope with the physical demands of pregnancy, delivery, and recovery after giving birth.

Here’s a real-life example: Your partner feels sick, and you genuinely believe she needs privacy, so your first thought is to leave her alone. But the good news is that you’ve already had conversations with her about this, so you know if you leave her alone now, she will experience your well-intended efforts as abandonment.

You realize your support efforts to give your partner space would have the opposite effect you intend, so instead of leaving her alone, you offer ginger ale, crackers, and your presence. As a result, your partner feels loved and supported.

The key isn’t whether you think you’re providing the support she needs, but if your partner perceives your actions as supportive.

You need to start somewhere, so here are practical suggestions on how to support your partner when she’s pregnant.

Connect on an Emotional Level

When you and your partner discover you are pregnant, emotions follow. You both need to talk about feelings of uncertainty, inadequacy, anxiousness, and excitement. Emotionally connecting after the news sets a solid foundation for your relationship and the decisions you both make about the pregnancy.

Invest time to learn about how to listen well, empathize, and validate her feelings . Validate doesn’t mean you agree; it means you empathize enough to want to understand her inner world. The goal is not to respond but to listen to understand her perspective. We all desire to be heard and understood, and when your partner perceives your attempts to understand her, she will feel incredibly supported.

Connect on a Practical Level

When you support your pregnant partner with actions, it communicates, “I care,” far more than words ever could. Here are ways to connect on a practical level:

Learn about what to expect during pregnancy
Prioritize your relationship — discuss needs, desires, and dreams
Take notice when she needs help and help out without being asked
Go with her to her doctor visits and childbirth classes if you choose to carry to term— ask questions
Encourage her to rest
Take walks or cook a balanced meal together

Avail NYC supports both women and men by offering a safe place to talk through your experiences and questions, especially when facing an unexpected pregnancy or abortion. If you have further questions or think your girlfriend might be pregnant, make a free confidential appointment with a male client advocate today.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Your Girlfriend’s Cycle: How Likely Is She to Get Pregnant?

Fri, 03 Jan 2020 21:17:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Gone are the days when contraception was solely the woman’s responsibility. If your girlfriend becomes unexpectedly pregnant, it affects both of you. So, it makes sense that men like you are asking more questions, looking for answers, and want to be informed about their girlfriend’s cycles and when they are most likely to get pregnant.

Let’s get started.

What is a “cycle?”

Each month a woman’s body prepares for a possible pregnancy, and that hormonal process is her menstrual cycle or just her “cycle.”

The length of a woman’s cycle is measured from the first day of her period to the first day of her next period. Cycle length varies from woman to woman and can range from twenty-one to thirty-five days, with the average being twenty-eight days.

There are four phases to her cycle: menstruation, the follicular phase, ovulation, and the luteal phase. Let’s look at what that means in regards to getting pregnant.

Which phase in my girlfriend’s cycle is she more likely to get pregnant?

Your girlfriend is more likely to get pregnant in the ovulatory phase of her cycle, but that doesn’t mean it can’t happen at other points in the cycle, and here’s why!

The ovulation phase is when a woman’s ovary releases an egg. If you think you might be “safe” and have unprotected sex during the follicular phase of your cycle, remember this: your sperm can live up to five days right into her ovulation cycle. That creates an environment where her egg and your sperm are in the same place at the same time, and she could potentially get pregnant.

A woman’s egg lives about twelve to twenty-four hours, and a man’s sperm lives up to five days. That means there is about a six-day window each month, around ovulation, that your girlfriend is most likely to get pregnant if you have unprotected sex.

When in her cycle is my girlfriend ovulating?

Ovulation occurs about two weeks before her expected period.

How can I tell when it’s two weeks before my girlfriend’s period?

Excellent question. If your girlfriend is one of more than one hundred million women who use a period tracking app, ask her if she will share it with you. The popular period tracking apps have the capability for cycle sharing and push notifications.

If your girlfriend isn’t comfortable sharing her app with you, ask if it would be okay to download your own app and track her period yourself. This isn’t weird or abnormal. It’s taking responsibility and empowering yourself with knowledge!

Common Myths About Getting Pregnant

Avail NYC supports both women and men by offering a safe place to talk through your experiences, especially when facing an unexpected pregnancy. If you have further questions or think your girlfriend might be pregnant, make a free confidential appointment with a male client advocate today.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Expressing Tough Decisions to Disapproving Loved Ones

Tue, 26 Nov 2019 19:15:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Even the most independent thinker is likely to hate the thought of disappointing friends or family members, so communicating a choice that you’re sure the listener will disagree with can be stressful. It can be tough to openly express your desire to take a different path than what others might choose, especially when this path can lead to potential consequences.

If you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy and aren’t sure how others might react to your ultimate decision, it’s crucial to prepare yourself for some tough conversations. Read on for some tips and tricks to help ease this process and ensure you’re able to fully express your feelings to your family members or other loved ones.

Practice, Practice, Practice

Practice can improve just about any speech, especially in emotionally charged situations. By practicing what you’re planning to say and anticipating the responses you might get, you’ll be far better prepared for the actual responses. You may even want to bring along an index card or a notebook when preparing to tell your decision to your loved ones. This can help you if your mind goes blank or if you feel especially anxious before you begin.

Anticipate (and Answer) the Most Common Questions

After learning of your unexpected pregnancy, your loved ones may have a lot of questions, from “where will you live?” to “what about school?” By anticipating and having responses already prepared for some of these questions, you’ll be more confident as you reveal the news to your friends and family. Rest assured that you don't have to have every decision made right now. Also, if you’d like to keep your reasons for your choices private, thinking through them on your own can be helpful to the overall decision-making process.

Don’t Feel the Need to Justify Your Decisions

Often, these conversations can quickly put the person making a choice on the defensive. You might feel compelled to provide multiple reasons for why you’re making certain decisions. While providing these reasons can help the listener realize that you’ve put a lot of thought into this decision, it can just as often devolve into an argument.

Regardless of whether your family or loved ones are supportive of your decision about an unplanned pregnancy, Avail NYC is here to help. We’re a resource-focused organization that gives women and partners the support they need to make a confident decision. If you’re pregnant and not sure what to do next, schedule a free appointment with one of our expert advocates today.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Abortion Information Before You Decide

Tue, 23 Oct 2018 22:20:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

When you’re faced with an unexpected pregnancy, it can be overwhelming. Even scary. What should you do? How can you face this? There are decisions ahead of you, and it can be hard to know which one is right for you.

First, remember that you have options: parenting, adoption, and abortion. In moments of stress or panic, it can be exhausting and overwhelming to try to sort through all of the information about each option on your own. Here at Avail NYC , each of our trained, compassionate personal advocates can walk with you through each option, helping you weigh your thoughts and feelings about each. Our goal is for you to make the best decision for you.

There are a few types of abortion, and it depends solely on how far along you are in your pregnancy. The timeframe allowing for abortion can change from state to state. For instance, Wisconsin allows abortions to take place up until twenty weeks, while other states such as New York, Massachusetts, Florida, and Nevada allow abortions up to twenty-four weeks and longer for specific health reasons.

The Abortion Pill

The abortion pill , used until a pregnancy is ten weeks along, is actually a combination of two pills, taken separately. The first pill, mifepristone , blocks progesterone in your body. Two days later you will take the second pill, prostaglandin. You will make a final visit to the clinic to make sure the abortion was completed.

Surgical Abortion Procedures

Aside from the abortion pill, there are different surgical abortion procedures , which also depend on how far along you are in your pregnancy.

Aspiration can be done within seven weeks. Suction curettage is most commonly done between six and fourteen weeks. A variation of this procedure, dilation and curettage, is also done between six and fourteen weeks of pregnancy.

Dilation and evacuation can be done from 13 to 24 weeks, and late-term abortion, from 20 weeks up to 24 weeks, takes three to four days to complete, using a few different drugs for different stages of the process, and ends in a surgical procedure .

Before You Decide

Making a pregnancy decision can feel complicated or overwhelming, even with this information. That’s what Avail NYC is here for, to help you process what you want and make the right decision for you. Our expert advocates offer unbiased information in a caring, non-judgmental environment. We want you to be confident in the decision you make.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

8 Pregnancy Questions to Ask When Unexpectedly Pregnant

Wed, 07 Feb 2018 23:01:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

If you’ve found yourself facing an unexpected pregnancy, your mind may be swimming with thoughts and questions, leaving you overwhelmed with options when choosing a path forward. Don’t be afraid to ask pregnancy questions! Read on to consider eight questions that can help you clarify your thoughts, and feel confident in your decision.

#1: What Kind of Support System Do I Have?

Even the most independent new parents need a strong support system. This doesn’t need to be family, but can include friends, coworkers, and other loved ones who are willing to bring you meals, sit with the baby while you take a shower, and help calm your nerves when you’re facing yet another night of broken sleep. A strong support system can mean all the difference between an enjoyable or more challenging season, during pregnancy and beyond.

#2: Does the Father Want to Be Involved?

The very nature of unexpected pregnancies means that they don’t discriminate between short and long-term relationships. Because of this, the involvement (or lack thereof) of the baby’s father can be a deciding factor in the choice to parent on your own or pursue an adoption plan. If you’re not confident in your partner’s commitment level, or if you are certain you don’t want to share co-parenting responsibilities, consider talking to a client advocate at Avail NYC .

#3: Will I Be Able to Finish School?

While it’s certainly possible to finish school while pregnant or after giving birth, it does present a challenge, and it’s important to realistically evaluate your chances of successfully juggling both commitments. This is another situation that will require you to lean on your support system of close family and friends. Research what tools and resources are available if you choose to complete high school, college, or graduate school while parenting, such as whether your school offers daycare or if there are any local resources like Avail NYC that can connect you with low-cost child care options.

#4: Can I Financially Support a Child on My Own?

Diapers, formula, and other necessities for infants can be pricey, but the costs don’t end there—once your child is born, you’ll find yourself facing 18 years or more of increased clothing, food, utility, and housing costs. Those who are struggling just to support themselves may find the added costs of a child burdensome, but there are plenty of programs and organizations that are willing to help parents shoulder the financial responsibility.

#5: Will My Job Provide the Flexibility I Need?

Some jobs and industries are more family-friendly than others. Regardless, you’ll want to consider all viable childcare options, along with your employer’s policies, otherwise tight work schedules may pose some serious challenges. These are tough situations, but you should know that New York State has laws that prohibit discrimination based on familial status . In other words, it is illegal for employers to fire or refuse a promotion for someone because they are pregnant, are nursing, have children, etc. It’s important to have a discussion with your boss or human resources department to fully understand your options.

#6: Is Child Support Available?

Even if your partner chooses not to be involved, he may be legally ordered to pay child support after birth. This can help defray many of the costs of raising a child, but does require you to be at least somewhat financially dependent on someone with whom you no longer have a relationship.

#7: How Is My Health?

While pregnancy cravings for ice cream, pickles, and a variety of other less-healthy foods abound, pregnancy can be hard for those battling chronic conditions or other health concerns. It’s important to evaluate all risk factors with a licensed medical professional, such as an obstetrician, so that you’ll remain healthy throughout your pregnancy. If you are in New York City, Avail NYC can refer you to free or low-cost OB/GYN services for those that qualify.

#8: Do I Have Other Children to Consider?

Not all unplanned pregnancies are first pregnancies, and considering the current demands of other children can help you navigate the various alternatives to parenting. New York City does offer childcare vouchers and other low-cost childcare options if you need help caring for your other children while you balance a job and caring for a new child. Advocates at Avail NYC can also help you think through who in your life, like family members or friends, can help care for your children and ensure that all of you thrive.

If you’re facing an unexpected pregnancy and aren’t sure where to turn, Avail NYC and their team of compassionate client advocates are there to help support you. Make an appointment to learn more about our free, confidential services.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

How Accurate Are Online Conception Calculators?

Mon, 22 Jan 2018 08:00:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

One of the first questions women may ask when they learn they’re pregnant is, “When am I due?” Knowing your estimated due date allows you to plan for a healthy pregnancy and to be prepared for the baby’s arrival. Pregnancy calculators can be effective tools in approximating your due date, but it’s important to understand that any calculator you use will only be able to offer an estimate, and that the odds of delivering on that exact date are slim.

How Do Pregnancy Calculators Work?

Whether you use an online pregnancy calculator, or you had your due date projected by a doctor or midwife, there are typically two methods used for calculating your due date. The first option is to estimate the due date based on the date of your last menstrual period . The second option is to base the estimation on the date of conception.

To calculate your due date based on your menstrual cycle, count forty weeks from the date of your last period. To calculate your due date based on the date of conception, count out thirty-eight weeks from the exact or approximate date you think you conceived.

How Accurate Are Pregnancy Calculators?

Only about one in twenty women delivers on her due date. It’s important to understand that a pregnancy calculator based on your conception date will offer a good approximation of the baby’s arrival. However, most women don’t know their exact conception date, making it difficult to calculate an exact due date. It is also possible that conception did not occur the same day you were sexually active, as your egg may have been fertilized a day or two later by sperm that was waiting in the fallopian tube.

For this reason, most health care experts recommend calculating your due date based on the date of your last menstrual period. Even using the menstrual period method, you’re still only left with an estimated due date. A doctor or midwife may alter your due date during your pregnancy based on the results of an ultrasound test that will indicate impacting factors, such as the size of the baby. To be best prepared for the baby’s arrival, use a pregnancy calculator as a guide, but know that you may ultimately deliver any time within one or two weeks before or after your calculated due date.

Pregnancy Support Services

Avail NYC offers a variety of free pregnancy support services and referrals to help women and couples facing an unplanned pregnancy remain healthy and prepared. Contact us today to learn more about how we can help you to make an informed and confident decision.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

My Partner Is Unexpectedly Pregnant: What Now?

Mon, 15 Jan 2018 08:00:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

As a popular commercial once said, “having a baby changes everything.” Even planned pregnancies can generate a flood of emotions for those going through the process for the first time, and if you weren’t expecting a child so soon, you may be wondering what to do. Read on for a few ways you can help support your partner through this rollercoaster ride, as well as tips on how you both can learn more about the options available to you.

Supporting Your Partner

There are a few small but powerful things you can do to provide your partner or spouse with moral support during this time in your lives.

First, you’ll want to set aside any urge you may have to force your partner into making a decision. When a pregnant woman feels pressured by her partner, she may either wind up resentful or worried that going against these wishes will end the relationship. Neither of these outcomes are ideal.

You’ll also want to tend to your partner’s physical needs as much as you can. Although every pregnancy is different, many women experience some strong symptoms during the first trimester, from fatigue to food cravings (and aversions) to nausea and vomiting. By taking on the lion’s share of household duties, like cleaning, cooking, and caring for pets, you’ll provide your partner with the freedom to rest and focus on her own physical and emotional health during this period.

It’s crucial to take care of your own needs during this time, as well. It can be hard to “fill another’s cup,” so to speak, when your own is empty, so practicing self-care—whether this is a commitment to daily exercise or meditation, or talking out your feelings with a non-judgmental friend—can leave you refreshed and re-invigorated to once again be your partner’s rock.

Exploring Your Options

Although you’re not the one physically carrying the pregnancy, which can often leave you feeling as though your wishes and desires are on the back burner, having “buy in” from both partners is key to maintaining a strong relationship going forward. It’s important for you to give some thought to the options available, even when you’re committed to letting your partner guide the way.

Going through an unplanned pregnancy can be an anxiety-inducing process for all involved, and this stress may be amplified for partners who sometimes may feel they have little say in whatever decision is made. By talking through your feelings with one of Avail NYC’s male client advocates, you’ll be in a much better position to be the best partner possible. Contact us to make a free appointment with a male advocate today.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

What Are Healthy Relationships Based On?

Wed, 10 Jan 2018 16:16:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Whether you’re single, exploring the dating field, or in a long-term, committed partnership, the relationships you maintain in your life are very important. A strong, healthy relationship can foster personal growth and development, helping you to become the best version of yourself through a focus on equality and respect.

However, not all relationships are positive. Some interactions are driven by control and possession rather than love and trust, compromising your own well-being in favor of another’s self-interest. These kinds of relationships can be damaging and dangerous, especially when major life events, like an unexpected pregnancy, arise.

These tenets are key parts of maintaining strong, stable relationships – platonic, romantic, and otherwise.

Mutual Respect

Without respect, any relationship will falter. A partner who respects you will value you for who you are, including your interests, ideas, beliefs, and morals. Your partner should never ask you to change your identity, compromise on your ethics, or put you down for your personal qualities.

Trust and Honesty

A relationship without trust isn’t a relationship at all. You and your partner should be able to talk openly and honestly about any topic with an assumption of truthfulness. There is no room for paranoia, distrust, lying, or suspicion in a healthy partnership.

Support

A good partner supports you in all that you do, from seeking a new job to pursuing higher education. While some events may require compromise and discussion, you should never be put down or insulted when working through issues with your partner.

Fairness and Equality

In a healthy relationship, no one person is better or more worthy than another. You and your partner should share tasks, chores, and benefits equally to ensure a just and balanced experience in both good times and bad. A relationship where one person handles all of the emotional, physical, and financial labor isn’t fair at all.

Separate Identities

A relationship is a union between two people – two unique, independent people. Part of succeeding in a relationship means maintaining the qualities that define you, from friend groups to hobbies. Attempting to control another’s passions and pastimes is not healthy.

Good Communication

Communication is a true necessity in a successful relationship. Partners should be able to speak openly about any topic and receive positive, helpful responses that do not attack, abuse, or tear down. Effective communication can take many forms, from face-to-face chats to text messages, but channels should remain open and judgment-free at all times.

A Sense of Playfulness

Different relationships have different vibes, from serious to silly, but a sense of playfulness and adventure can keep the love alive. You should be able to have fun with your partner, from taking trips to enjoying favorite shows and movies. Playfulness might look different for each couple, but it is a worthwhile pursuit.

A strong relationship is a big part of successfully coping with an unplanned pregnancy . If you are seeking a caring, compassionate resource during an unexpected time, Avail NYC is here to make a difference.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

After Abortion: How Can a Support Group Help?

Fri, 29 Dec 2017 15:57:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

While everyone’s experience is different, dealing with mental health issues after an abortion is common for many women. These life-changing issues are a valid concern when considering your options during an unexpected pregnancy. Read on to learn about some of the mental health changes that can be common after undergoing an abortion and why many women have found support groups to be helpful when coping with feelings of grief, depression, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) stemming from an abortion.

What Are Some Common Emotions to Experience in the Wake of an Abortion?

The strength and variety of possible emotions women experience after having an abortion can range widely. While some women may report feelings of relief, many others indicate they feel guilt, grief, depression, or shame. In some cases, especially if the actual medical procedure was difficult or damaging, women may develop PTSD and have periodic flashbacks to this traumatic experience.

Because abortion still carries a tremendous social stigma, women who have undergone an abortion may also experience isolation. This is especially common among members of religious groups that tend to strictly prohibit abortion; without the ability to turn to friends and loved ones for support, women may fall into depression and feel they’re unable to share their emotions with anyone around them.

Unfortunately, these mental health conditions can only become worse over time without treatment. Mild cases of grief or guilt may not have a lifetime impact, but depression, anxiety, or PTSD can impact future relationships, career decisions, and other big life choices.

How Can Support Groups Help You Cope?

For women dealing with strong negative emotions after an abortion, or even simply experiencing unresolved feelings, attending an in-person support group or seeking support in an online community can be helpful. These support groups allow women to share their emotions with others who have gone through similar experiences, all without the fear of judgment or attack, receiving support and empathy in the process.

But for many women who are still reeling from their abortion, even taking the first step of reaching out to find a support group can be a challenge. Some may be afraid to be vulnerable about their experience in front of others, while others may assume that a post-abortion support group will be too similar to a twelve-step program.

However, abortion support groups can function much differently from the support groups seen on television or in the movies. By focusing on the individual and their unique experience, these groups can empower women to reclaim their sense of self, often for the first time in a long time.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

What Does a Healthy Support System Look Like?

Fri, 17 Nov 2017 22:07:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Even the most independent people benefit from human interaction, and having a support system to encourage and guide you through emotionally tough times can be crucial to your mental health. Cultivating this support system doesn’t happen on its own, and if you aren’t sure what to look for, you may struggle to seek help when life challenges arise. Read on to learn more about some of the defining traits of a healthy support system.

What Can Support Systems Look Like?

Support systems can take a number of forms and may include family members, friends, partners, physicians, therapists, or counselors. Support systems can also include strangers or acquaintances you meet through school, work, a support group, an online community, or in just about any other context that provides you with encouragement and accountability. Don’t feel as though your support system is limited to those who are close to you—seeking out support from those outside your inner circle often provides a different, and helpful, perspective on whatever challenges you’re facing.

What Traits Define Healthy Support Systems?

Not all support systems are necessarily the healthiest for those they support, so knowing the foundation of a good support system can be a useful first step in determining how you can improve or boost your own.

Some traits that accompany a healthy support system include:

accountability
fellowship
the sharing of common experiences
a sense of purpose

Having a support system provides a level of accountability to help you achieve your goals or triumph over adversity. Whether you are attempting to kick an addiction, lose weight, finish a college degree, or just push forward through a particularly difficult phase of life, a healthy support system won’t allow you to give up, and won’t encourage unhealthy or self-harming behaviors. Furthermore, a support system that provides regular accountability checks can operate as a constant cheering section.

Fellowship, or the sharing of common experiences, is also important. This is why support groups tend to be so helpful for those dealing with an addiction or psychological issue. Simply sharing stories and hearing others’ experiences can be cathartic and will bring you closer to others in your group.

Counseling and therapy can always be a valuable component of a support system. While friends and family may be well-meaning, they might not always have the emotional tools you need to help guide you through tough times, and working with a talk therapist or cognitive behavioral therapist can give you an unconditional level of support.

Finally, your support system should inspire you with a sense of purpose.

How Can You Improve Your Own Support System?

If you’re struggling to define your own support system and are facing a potentially life-changing issue like an unplanned pregnancy, Avail NYC can help. Our compassionate advocates will work with you to explore your options in a peaceful, non-judgmental environment, and can offer everything from unplanned pregnancy decision making tools to to pregnancy and after-abortion support and group meetups.

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

How to Know If Nausea Is a Sign of Pregnancy or Just a Stomach Bug

Tue, 09 May 2017 13:48:00 GMT

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

It can be tricky to tell if you are pregnant or if you just have a run-of-the-mill stomach bug. While there are symptoms common to both, there are a few signs that can indicate you might be pregnant. If you think you might be unexpectedly pregnant, the only way to know for sure is to take a pregnancy test.

Common Symptoms that Point to a Stomach Bug

If you are experiencing general feelings of nausea, fatigue, and vomiting, you may have a stomach bug. Some specific symptoms that point towards an illness and not pregnancy can be:

Diarrhea
Fever
Stomach cramps
Body aches
Dehydration

Other possible non-pregnancy-related causes of nausea include:

Food poisoning
Change of medications
Intense stress
Motion sickness or inner ear problems
Migraines

If your symptoms do not clear up in a few days, taking a pregnancy test can rule out whether you are pregnant or just have a stomach virus, like the flu.

Common Symptoms that Point to Pregnancy

While early pregnancy is linked to the term morning sickness , you may feel sick periodically throughout the day. There are some overlapping symptoms between a stomach virus and pregnancy, such as vomiting, fatigue, and nausea. But there are other indicators that might point more towards pregnancy:

Excessive salivation
A heightened sensitivity to odors
A late menstrual cycle
Unusual food cravings
Tender breasts

If you keep track of your monthly cycle, a late period could be an indication of pregnancy. If you have an irregular period, it will be more difficult to pinpoint if your period is arriving late or not at all. For more possible symptoms of pregnancy, check out our article "How Do You Know When You're Pregnant? 11 Signs of Pregnancy Other Than a Missed Period."

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

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